Poor, poor precious. Caught up in all these troubles.
And you know why?
No. The precious is confused. How did we get in this mess?
It was all their fault.
You mean...no...no...no...
Yess. It was the wizard, the elves, the dwarves, the humans and the...
Nooo...Don't say it.
...The hobbitss!
But the hobbits were nice to us. We were their friends.
You don't have any friends. They all wanted you dead.
No! They loved us...called us their own.
They were planning against us the whole time! Sauron! Sauron!
No. They found us, they kept us close...and even wore us. Nice hobbits.
They were plotting with the wizard, trying to destroy us. Why do you think they took us to the mountain of fire?
The wizard made them do it. They were nice hobbits. The evil wizard put them under a spell.
And what about the dwarf? He tried to chop us!
Sniff. That wasn't his fault. It was the script. It was Fran and Peter. The dwarf wouldn't have tried to hurt us on his own.
THEN HOW DID WE DIE?! Sauron! Sauron!
It was all an accident. The nice hobbit didn't mean to have his finger bitten off. He tried to save us. Poor, poor precious.