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chapter 1: waking up, breaking out
light infiltrated Shadow's eyes as he finally woke up that morning, at 4:00 PM, due to a loud noise coming from the clock on his nightstand. Shadow's hand came out from under the covers and hit the button to shut it off.
It kept buzzing.
The hedgehog glanced up at it."stupid clock...". He hit the button again and fell back into his pillow.
It still buzzed.
"damn clock." He got up out of bed now, and smashed his fist on it a couple of times. When it still buzzed he got angry."shut the hell up!"
He got a hammer and smashed the clock to pieces.
The buzzing continued.
The hedgehog growled, and took out a gun, shooting the pieces, but it kept buzzing.
"DAMN IT!!" He goes downstairs and comes back up with a rocket launcher.
That did'nt work either.
Shadow was pissed now, and he unleashed a chaos blast.
It still was'nt enough.
" GODDAMNIT!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!" He yelled. He went over to the computer in his room and launched a nuke from it.
2 minutes later, it hit the clock, amazingly harming nothing else.
The clock kept at it.
Shadow then got all the chaos emeralds, got on the ARK, and fired the Eclipse Cannon at it.
"There! Nothing can survive that!"
But when he came down from the ARK, the alarm kept buzzing.
He had enough. He picked up the pieces and hurled them into the sun.
The alarm did'nt go with them.
"What the hell?" The hedgehog turned around to see Charmy flying right next to him.
"Hey, Shadow! I gotta ask you something!" the infuriating bee said, smiling and buzzing annoyingly.
Shadow ripped his wings off. " Yes you should see the friggin doctor, now let me sleep!" He slumped back into bed.
"But Shadow! I wanted to know if your beer was supposed to fly south laughing evilly!"
Shadow's eyes opened wide. "No one messes with my beer! NO ONE!!" He jumped out of bed and ran downstairs.Upon entering his kitchen,he saw the fridge door wide open, and sure enough his beer was gone.
He stood there, mouth gaping."Who the hell stole my beer!?" He glanced down at the floor. "Like it or not, I'm gonna have to track it down! The only way I'll get the answer to where my beer is is to get the chaos emeralds!"
"You already have them." Charmy said, apparently not used to walking, for he stepped like a drunk.
"Right! Now to go find my beer!"
With that, he ran outside and set off on a retarded adventure.
"Wait!" yelled Charmy."Get me to a doctor!"
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Tails was driving down the street in his plane for some reason he couldn't quite grasp yet, when a black blurr raced into his propeller blades and screamed in agony.
"MOther faker!! Who the hell drives a faking plane on the faking road?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
The black object fell onto the ground after almost literally being chopped to bits, and Tails recognized it as Shadow.
He turned the plane off and got out."Sorry, Shadow!I was running some sort of experiment...something about safety..."
"Tails? I'm going to murder you!!" screamed an enraged Shadow, as the hedgehog got up andlunged for tails' throat.
Tails jumped out of the way and flew out of Shadow's reach with his tails."Hey! Calm down!I said I was sorry!"
Shadow stared daggers at the fox."Well you don't go around driving a friggin plane on the faking road! I thought you had a car mode on that thing!"
"I do! I already told you its in plane mode for an experi..."
"Shut up!Stop making excuses!" The hedgehog then looked around."Where are we, anyway?"
Tails himself looked around, and he spotted an impact crater to his left that looked like Black Dooms' big evil form.
"I think we're in Downtown Westopolis! That crater over there should contain Black Doom's remains."
"Faker!! Never say my father's name!" Said Shadow, pointing threateningly at Tails. "You have to tire of flying sometime! you'd best be on my good side when you do!"
"This is your good side!" The fox retorted, narrowing his eyes."Well, I'm gonna check on Black DOOOOOOM's remains! see yah!" With that he took off flying in that direction.
He heard Shadow start to chase behind him." Get back here, fake-meat!"
A minute later, Tails landed at the edge of the crater.
Shadow came up behind him and punched the fox in."There's plenty more where that came from, fox boy!"
Tails landed face first on top of Black Doom's corpse, in the area that would be his...
"Hey,Tails! I didn't know you were gay!"
Tails lifted his head to see Shadow slide down the side of the crater. He gave the hedgehog the finger, and got up. "You'll pay for that one!"
"Oh, yeah? When?"
As if on que, Black Doom's 3 eyes fluttered open, and he floated up off the ground."I am reborn!!"
Tails and Shadow looked up at the reborn Doom with an 'oh, #!+'sort of look on their faces.
Then Tails realized a dead person just came back to life."Wait a minute, how the hell did you rejuvinate or whatever you just did?"
Doom looks at the puzzled fox and replies. "I forgot to tell Shadow that if I ever die, I can be reborn if he brings to me the seven Chaos Emeralds and makes a two-tailed fox face-plant my..."
"Okay! I get the point!But, wait a second.You don't have balls."
"What? yes I do!"
"No you don't. you're just a torso with a head, arms, and spiky projections!No legs!"
"Then how did I reborn?"
Everybody was confused by this, even Sonic, who was currently not there.
"I don't know, but what I do know is that if you try to take over the world again, you can't! your comet was destroyed by the Eclipse Cannon!"
Doom stared blankly at the two. "what about my flying fortresses?"
Eggman and Shadow destroyed those."
"Then my army?"
"Dead or captive."
"Then my mind control over Shadow."
"I already prooved that it doesn't affect me!" Shadow said. "And don't bother turning into 'Devil Doom' either, I'll just kick your ass!"
Suddenly Doom's voice changed from black and doomy into something high-pitched and nerdy." Darn! I knew I shouldn't have invaded this planet! Mom was right, I'm not suited for conquest..." He then began to cry.
Tails and Shadow just stared at the sad-ass."What a moron." Shadow said, making Doom cry harder.
Suddenly, a huge dark cloud formed a portal over Westopolis, and ten black aliens came down, surrounding the three.
Then, a figure that looked exactly like Doom, only pink, came up to them."Hey, Black. Mom sent me to help you conquer this planet. She said we better have it ready for our forces within 700 years or there'll be hell to pay."
The Doom, obviously female, then looked at Shadow. "Is this your son you've been calling about?"
Black's voice returned to normal as he spoke."yes, pink, but he has betrayed us and must be punished."
Shadow just took turns looking at the two Dooms. "Aww, come on!This ain't fair! All I wanted to do today was find my beer and go home! Now I have to save the Earth from the Black Arms again..."
"The Pink Arms, now" said Pink Doom.
"Whatever! The point is I'm forced to do this just to get my beer back!" The anti-hero stood firm, ready for a fight.
Tails looked back at the portal and saw thousands of black..err.. pink aliens fall into Westopolis, all holding fluffy bunnies and various weapons."Crap. Sonic'll be PO'ed about this."
"Who cares?" Shadow blurted. "I saved Earth last time, I can do it again!"
A lightning bolt then arced out of the cloud and zapped Shadow into dust.
"Don't worry." pink said, seeing the horrified look on Tails' face."He's just being held prisioner aboard the Pink Comet.Now, little fox, take us to your leader."
"NO."
"what did you just say?!"
"I said no."
Pink's eyes widened."How dare you speak to your new leaders like that! I ought to..."
She was interrupted when Amy hurled herself over the edge of the crater, hammer blazing, giving a war cry.
She hit pink in the head, knocking the Doom unconscious.
Black looked at the insane pink hedgehog."How dare you almost kill my sister! Especially since she is your mother!"
"Uncle Doom?" Amy asked, suddenly confused. she then smiled in realization."It IS you! How have you been? It's been so long since we last met! acually, I don't think we've ever met. Well then, hi there! I'm Amy!"
Tails stood there, mind totally boggled."Okay, what exactly is going on here?"
Doom and Amy exchanged glances, then looked at the fox. "I'm not really sure." Doom said.
"I know whats going on." said Knuckles." Black and Pink are brother and sister, Amy is the creation of Pink Doom, and Shadow is the creation of Black Doom, which probably means that a Blue Doom created Sonic."
Tails nodded in understanding. "That explains a lot!Wait a minute, where did you come from?"
"Hell." replied the echidna. "And I'm not kidding."
Tails turned to see Knuckles as a burnt crisp, getting gnawed on by a hoboe. A hole leading to hell was open next to him.
"Oooooookay..."
"A bright flash of light appeared and shadow appeared out of nowhere just then."
Shadow appeared out of nowhere just then.
"Allright, who's the wise guy that said a paragraph that wasn't supposed to be in quotation marks?" Shadow demanded.
Me said Black Doom.
"Allright! quit screwing with quotation! Demanded Tails."
This is really annoying."Amy said."
what? Can't "Handle the power of" choice? Said some voice.
Then! Shadows "knowtised that this centense was" really; screud up weth worse grammmars andedbadder speling and. missingspaces and 2 many ands and things)
God, is the author drunk? Black Doom asked, but no one heard him for his sentence had no quotation marks around it.
"Rouge suddenly appeared having sex with Knuckles. Said Amy."
"That isn't possible!I'm right here! Knuckles demanded."
"Why did you say." Knuckles demanded?"demanded Shadow."
"Say what?"
"Knuckles dem." anded!
"Knuckles what? A demon? Shit! You found out!"
Knuckles then turned into Satan and started to devour souls, wether or not they were human or pink alien.
Faking."Writing errors!Shadow screamed.I'm gonna go kill the. author of this stupid? story..."
Shadow disappeared. the real Knuckles, having sex with Rouge, suddenly looked up and demanded a hamburger.
Shadow then appeared on the text of this story, somewhere right about here, took out a bazooka, lined it up to the author's face, and fi
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SHADOW RULZ THIS STORY NOW! SHADOW SEZ HE MAKE CHAPTER 2 USING AUTHOR'S DEAD HUMAN HAND TO TYPE IF ENOUGH POSITIVE REVIEWS COME IN. NO SECRET PREVIEW TILL THEN, THOUGH SHADOW WILL RULE THE EARTH! HAVE A NICE DAY!
P.S. SHADOW IZ YOUR KING!!