The Same Moon
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
A/N: This is for the Chinese Moon Festival Competition for the Separation Slice with the M&MWP Gideon/Regulus. Enjoy and please R and R!
The memories of harsh and finalizing slammed doors and venomous, mocking whispers plagued Gideon's ears. The redhead sat on the windowsill studying the ironically quiet and calm setting of the warm summer evening compared to the thunder of his storming mind. The rustle of the frail and musical leaves as the wind darted through them was achingly similar to the loving words that were exchanged before Regulus left to face the world as a lonely martyr. Or rather – to a senseless and purely emotional part of Gideon – Regulus was leaving Gideon to fight the world by himself – Regulus was getting out of the fight too early under the disguise of a sorrowful sacrifice.
Gideon's fingertips traced the wooden windowsill in spirals and swirls of intricate dives and turns. Regulus - his heart's one and only desire. Gideon nearly scoffed at the sappy truth of his words. He was reduced to rubble – a disgusting and pitiful shell of his former glory. Yet – while one side of him loathed the pain he felt – he couldn't help but accept his homicide by romance. The feelings of love and joy had consumed him beyond anything he had ever felt and his constant, blaring ache in his heart from when Regulus left – almost ten minutes ago – was not only sheer agony but the feeling of those warm and tender memories of the times they had together.
Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, Diagon Alley, their apartment together – all of those memories consumed Gideon's senses, as he tasted Honeyduke treats, felt smooth lips on his, heard the laughs, and smelled the slight vanilla scent Regulus always seemed cloaked in. A black Labrador puppy wagged his tail and Gideon smiled at the dog.
Regulus had picked the little dog up off the Diagon Alley streets in the rain one night while Gideon and Regulus, after a "date night", had been strolling down the streets towards the Apparation point. Gideon still remembered yelling after Regulus three years ago. "Did you lose your mind? Where are you going?" With those words Gideon had embodied his little sister completely in that moment. And not until Regulus came back to Gideon's side did Gideon notice the wet and shivering puppy.
Regulus named him Padfoot and loved the dog so much. Gideon still didn't know why Regulus had picked the dog up and into his arms - though Regulus did say the dog reminded him of his brother.
Padfoot hopped onto the window seat and curled up with two of the pillows in the corner. Sighing, Gideon followed soon after – sitting in the other corner his mind raced at the speed of sound. His mind was an endless storm as his heart shifted to a state of numbness.
Gideon didn't dare look into the house he had fled to when Regulus and he had first broken up. While Regulus had never been in this house – save for the announcement Regulus had made – the house was filled with memories of longing and mourning. The house would soon be filled with new memories. Each memory would be more horrible and vile than the last. Because tonight Regulus had told him that he would never see him again, Regulus was to die, and that he would always love him. Gideon had felt betrayed and shocked though. How could he just announce that like it wouldn't affect him? How could he come to this decision without talking to Gideon? Sure, they were not together but it was not because of a lack of love for one another.
It most certainly was not that.
Gideon knew that it had been inevitable. Their relationship was a tragedy from the start but that logic in the back of his head didn't help him at all as Regulus ended their story. The words "I love you but I'm not good enough for you" played mockingly in Gideon's head like a bad love song. Regulus and Gideon were two different sides of the spectrum of things that somehow had met in the middle for a moment of pure bliss and harmony to be pulled away because it was fate to be pulled apart.
Salty liquid fire burned a trail down each of Gideon's cheeks as the redhead looked up at the sparkling night sky. Gideon's fingertips tried to wipe away the tears with success but they couldn't quite wipe away the sorrow Gideon felt.
Padfoot's howl sent a shock through Gideon's body and his hand went to his chest. Swearing softly, Gideon looked up to see a full moon. The moon brought a painful line that Regulus used to say every time he left Gideon to go on missions and to answer Lord Voldemort's call. Lowering his gaze down to the excited puppy Gideon rolled his eyes.
"Padfoot, why are you howling at the moon? It is not going to play with your toys or hurt you or anything. It just sits there and watches everyone if anything." Gideon laughed and picked up a stray chew toy off the floor and threw it to the other side of the room. Padfoot clumsy fell down and scrambled after the toy.
A small smile played on Gideon's face as he remembered Regulus' jokes about Padfoot's nonexistent grace. Regulus wasn't as bad as people made him out to be. He was loyal, kind, witty, and funny. He wasn't just some brooding, miserable soon-to-be Death Eater. Regulus was a human being – flawed and perfect at the same time. They just couldn't be together in this time – with war knocking on everyone's door and taking lives away to greedily keep and stash away from loved ones.
Like how war was going to take Regulus away.
Regulus was so young – he was only eighteen. Why did he have to die so young and leave Gideon to live without him? Why did he have to do this at all? Regulus shouldn't have to do whatever he was going to do alone. Gideon needed to find him right now. He wasn't going to live without Regulus or, at the very least, let Regulus die alone.
Gideon ran to his coat rack and grabbed his jacket with his wand in the pocket. Slipping the jacket on, a mantra played through his head. Gideon would find Regulus. Gideon would find him. Gideon would stop this. He was done moping around and Gideon's Gryffindor attitude was taking over.
"Padfoot, stay here and guard the house," Gideon commanded the dog as he started to head out of the front door. Instead of an assuring bark to his words Gideon heard a sharp crack and a whimper. Gideon spun on his heels and pointed his wand – a hex on his tongue – before registering the intruder as a house elf. How had the house elf Apparated into his household despite the wards and charms?
"Who are you and how did you break my charms?" Gideon voiced his question and watched the house elf roll his eyes as he eyed him with disgust.
"I didn't break the wards on the house. Kreacher's name is Kreacher." The house elf answered and Padfoot growled at the elf and the elf raised his eyebrow at the little puppy.
"How did you get in then?" Gideon straightened himself and lowered the wand slightly down as the house elf's name struck a chord. It was familiar to him. But Gideon had never seen the elf before. "What's that in your hands?" Gideon added noticing a little ragged scroll.
"Elves aren't bound to what humans and others are. And here, Master Regulus wanted Kreacher to deliver this to the recipient." Kreacher held the scroll out to Gideon and Gideon took it with shaking hands. Kreacher was the Black family's house elf. Regulus had always been fond of Kreacher. That's where Gideon knew him.
"Oh, um… Thank you." Gideon stumbled over the words as he stared at the scroll with a heavy lump in his throat. Gideon was scared to open it and he knew he would start crying and he wanted the house elf to leave before that happened. Gideon distracted himself by looking at the moon in the sky – hoping the elf would take the hint to leave.
"Kreacher was only doing what Master Regulus wanted. Oh, Master Regulus was staring at that thing in the sky for a long time." As Kreacher spoke Gideon turned back to him and at the end of the house elf's last sentence he turned back around to the window before facing Kreacher again.
"The moon?" Gideon questioned. Did Regulus remember his saying? Was Regulus thinking about him?
"Yes, Master Regulus wrote about in Master Regulus' letter. Read." Kreacher insisted and Gideon nodded, still staring at the intruding elf.
"You're staying?"
"Until the recipient reads Master Regulus' letter," Kreacher answered with another look of scorn.
Gideon didn't want to read something already so cherished in the presence of the mean spirited house elf but sensing the elf's conviction he sat down on the window seat. One shaky breath later, his fingers unrolled and unsealed the parchment. The parchment was small and there were only five lines on that piece of paper, yet all those words could have been boulders.
No matter how far I am or where I may go when the night ends, we are under the same moon (as I have told you a thousand times before) if even for only a few moments. We are staring at the same glowing thing in the sky and we are both under its gaze. We are both together in a strange sort of way. After I die though, I'll be the moon and then we'll never be apart but for that split moment when I died (not even in the day - I shall lurk behind the glow of the sun to see you). I promise you I will be watching you. I love you and tonight I'll come home to you – but not the way you want me to I'm afraid. I love you and I always will.
Forever Yours,
Regulus
Gideon felt his chest collapse under the boulders that were those beautiful last words and he couldn't breathe for a moment. No, not only for a moment – Gideon was in physical pain right now. Tears flooded out of his eyes and he gasped for breath. Padfoot whined and nudged his owner but Gideon didn't respond. He was too late. It hadn't even been that long! Maybe ten minutes! How could something enormous happen in such a measly amount of time? How fair was that? Gideon didn't care that he had quoted their saying about being under the same moon and the comfort it was supposed to bring. It wasn't going to bring Regulus back. Nothing would. Gideon was all alone in those moments of pain with only a moon of a lover.
Yet suddenly, Gideon felt an awkward, soft pat on his shoulders and he looked up to see a very uncomfortable Kreacher patting his shoulder.
"That is why Kreacher had to stay," Kreacher answered with sympathy in his voice.
"You miss him too, don't you?" Gideon phrased it as a question and yet with his tone it came out as more of a statement.
"Kreacher does," Kreacher nodded.
And there – in that living room – a clumsy dog, weeping redhead, and a mournful house elf spent the night in silence as they watched the moon.