A/N:
Conversion Conversation:
The moon sent shafts of light across the bed, outlining Sheppard's prone form. He lay with his hands behind his head, staring blankly at the ceiling. He was exhausted, tense and completely over wound. Sleep had been elusive the past few nights.
"Think nothing of it."
How could he? It was such a defining moment, so full of potential…. So promising. He had felt unbelievably reckless, careless even, but what he had done was entirely premeditated. He had wanted to kiss her. Hell, he dreamed about it, on nights when he let the walls down just a little bit, let her into his dreams, the only way he felt he could touch her.
John turned over on to his side and placed a hand beneath his cheek. Time ticked slowly by, and it was soon obvious that he would not be able to sleep. Rising, he put on a pair of running pants and a grey t-shirt and made his way out into the hallway. Heading towards the gym he and Teyla frequented, he paused in the empty corridor and watched Teyla's closed door for a moment.
His feeling of recklessness returned, a long with a touch of fatalism. When it came to romantic interest John had never been shy about revealing his interest. But with Teyla, it was more than interest, it was…. Well, he wasn't sure, but it hit deep. He had held back in the fear that she would not reciprocate, but now he felt that holding back would cloud their relationship further.
He had felt quite happy with her response earlier, but now, along with his sleep-foggy brain, he had to put things straight, in his own mind at least. He needed to know firmly where he stood, and he wanted to know whether there was ever a chance for them or if they would remain friends only. He had no doubt that they would remain friends. Their relationship was more than strong enough.
Walking up to her door, he considered ringing the chimes when he was suddenly struck by fear. What if she was in there with somebody? He could live with the knowledge (he thought) but not with the sight.
Recklessness raised its head again, and John brushed his palm down the entrance controls and took a deep breath. The doors swished open, and his eyes were met with darkness. The room was silent. John stepped inside and the door closed behind him. His eyes adjusted slowly to the darkness.
Teyla's form was bathed in moonlight. She lay on her back, the thin blanket covered her up to her waist, her arms rested lightly above the cover. The sound of the door opening and closing hadn't stirred her at all.
Okay, how could he not have expected her to be asleep? It was the middle of the night, after all. John breathed deeper as he took in her air. It smelled of her; earthy, exotic and very female. The rush mat whispered under his bare feet as John took a hesitant step forward.
Stop, go out, run a few miles. There was still time. This was a conversation better left to the daylight hours and at a location not so hers. There was nothing for him to hold onto here, nothing to help him keep his rationale. Hell, he'd never been here off-duty.
Teyla shifted with a slight 'hm', turning on her side to face him. The blanket slipped down slightly to reveal her wearing what looked like a silk nightdress. It was purple, maybe, or brown. The room was too dark to tell. The light of the moon caught on her shoulder, outlining the smooth skin and length of her neck. Sheppard had just decided that leaving was in fact a very good idea when her eyes fluttered open. They simply stared at each other, blinking.
"John?" She called out his first name without thinking. Was it John? His face was shrouded in shadow, shielding his eyes, but she recognised the black wristband on his right arm, and the way he stood was characteristically Sheppard, if tinged with nervousness. What was he doing in her room, so late at night? Was something wrong with Atlantis?…. No, her comm would have notified her. Was there something wrong with him, then?
Teyla rose up onto her forearm and reached over to switch the lamp on beside her bed. She could see him fully now, and noticed that he was staring at her a little wide-eyed.
"Um, hey, Teyla." He looked behind him sheepishly. "Sorry to wake you."
"It is all right," Teyla rose so that she was sitting up, holding the blanket to her chest. She looked away for a moment before looking back at him. Her eyebrows rose. "Are you alright?" She put emphasis on the you.
"I… wanted to talk to you, but I… guess it can wait." With that, he sharply turned around, opened the door, and exited, leaving her feeling very perplexed.
Smooth, Sheppard. John sat in the canteen across from Ronon, who was shovelling in his breakfast at a rapid and unfaltering rate. John had barely touched his.
What the hell had he been thinking last night? After rapidly leaving her room he had spent the remainder of the night wondering Atlantis' halls in a kind of stupor. He had only returned to his room about an hour ago. Rodney came over with his tray and sat down next to Sheppard.
"Do you actually taste food?" Ronon grunted in response. Rodney turned to Sheppard, eyeing his messier than usual look and the circles under his eyes. "You look like hell."
"You look lovely, too, Rodney. Enough to make a man swoon."
"What can make a man swoon?" John flinched slightly as he realised that Teyla was standing behind him, tray in hand. He could feel her looking at the back of her head.
"He thinks Rodney's pretty," came Ronon's nonchalant reply. Teyla sat down beside him. She glanced over at John, who hurriedly looked away from her. This was awkward. He was going to have to explain himself to her at some point. He wasn't relishing the thought. He had come to his senses just around dawn and was now trying to think up some rational excuse he could tell her as to why he had been in her room last night. Glancing at her again, he noticed that she too looked tired. Had appearing in her room worried her enough to keep her up? He wasn't sure that was a good thing.
"We going off-world today?" Rodney mumbled through a mouthful of food.
"No, we're on stand-by in case Lorne and his men get into trouble," all worries about Teyla aside, it felt good to be back on active duty, and he had been a little disappointed when Elizabeth had said they were only going to be sent through the gate that day if it was an emergency. The chair made a scraping noise as Sheppard rose. No one but Teyla looked up at him. Depositing his tray on the mess table, he made his way into the corridor, Teyla's eyes on him as he went.
I cant keep running, so I'll meet with her at lunch and explain myself. I should have thought up a good reason by then…. I hope.
John had been pacing his room for a little over ten minutes when the door chimed. Dumping the football he had been abusing as he paced onto a chair in the corner, he moved to the door and swiped his hand past the lock controls. The doors opened with a swish.
"Teyla," John's voice held surprise and pleasure, until he remembered what must have brought her here. Her sudden appearance had lulled him into forgetting for a moment. She smiled briefly up at him, but it was obvious she had something on her mind. Well, what d'you expect, having her wake up to find you watching her in the middle of the night. You're lucky she's not the type of woman who'd hit you.
"I might be mistaken, but I believe I saw you in my room last night." Her voice didn't sound as if she doubted that.
"Uh- yeah. Listen, about that… I was-" he sucked in air through his teeth as he thought of a decent reply. He glanced at her as if for help, but he knew this was one situation she couldn't help him out of. After a pause Teyla sighed and spoke.
"John," putting emphasis on his name. "I believe you came to me last night because you wished to talk about something."
"Oh, that's alright now."
"Alright?"
"Yeah, I fixed it." Lame, Sheppard. She was looking at him as if he'd grown a second head.
"I see. You came to my room in the middle of the night, something you wouldn't do during the day. You wanted to talk about something obviously important enough that you could not wait 'til morning. You do not expect me to believe you 'fixed it'?" An eyebrow rose as he stood flustered for a moment. She was good… He stood admiring her internally for a moment, watching as she slowly rose her other eyebrow. She was not going to let this go.
"I'm sorry I woke you, I shouldn't have…"
"I do not mind that you woke me. I do mind that you felt you could talk to me last night and now you feel you cannot." Her eyes looked hurt, though she was hiding it well. Sheppard took a deep breath, decided.
"Okay," he stepped to the side and indicated that she should enter. He moved his guitar off the chair by his bed but neither sat down. Instead they stood facing each other from the end of his bed.
"You know a few weeks ago? The whole 'bug' thing." She narrowed her eyes slightly.
"Yes. You almost died. It would be difficult to forget." Oh yeah. He had forgotten that part amongst all his inner turmoil. She probably thought he seemed a bit cavalier about the whole incident, but in truth he just didn't dwell on such things.
"Yeah. I did some things around that time that might have seemed… out of character." She nodded once, although now he noticed that she would not look at him. Bad sign. "Well, not all of them were… entirely." Like that cleared anything up. Something flickered in her eyes as she watched him, something he couldn't identify. "One of those things-" was it bad to use that word for something so potentially important?- "involved you." Sheppard checked her reaction. She took a deep breath and rocked back on her heels slightly. How far was he going to push this?
Was he saying what she thought he was saying? That The Kiss might not have been an accident was something she had not considered. That he might return her interest… He was talking again, looking at her nervously.
"You are… a… very attractive woman and I would be lying if I said I hadn't noticed that." He glanced at her to see her reaction but she felt frozen to the spot. She couldn't have spoken if she tried. " We are friends and I felt I should be honest." He leant in towards her as he emphasised that: "I don't expect you to reciprocate , or anything. I just wanted you to know that kissing you hadn't been… entirely un-thought about." What did she not reciprocate? That she did not find him attractive or that she did not return his feelings? He hadn't cleared up that part, and from the way that he was looking around him it didn't seem like he would. She took a step toward him, gauging his reaction. When he just looked at her she took another step. They were barely a foot apart now.
He glanced at her lips, and Teyla took that as an invitation. She reached up and lightly touched her lips to his. The feeling was electric, and as she backed away slightly she licked her lips. He watched her and his eyes abruptly went dark. He leaned forward and recaptured her lips, this time a full-on kiss that left her breathless. He rested his forehead against hers, and they stood quietly for a moment, both sharing the same breath.
John sighed before kissing her again, this time moving slow. He tasted her upper lip and then her lower, and she reached up to run her hands through his hair. It was cool and soft, and she trailed her hands down to the back of his neck which she massaged gently. His shoulders and neck had sometimes seemed tense to her, and she could feel him relax under her fingers. She soon forgot about what her hands were doing as he licked along her lips, seeking entrance, which she granted.
The kiss became hot as he brushed his hand across her waist, touching the exposed skin there. His fingers left a tingling sensation in their wake, and he ran them up her arms and into her loose hair. Things escalated as the kisses became more passionate and intimate. Sliding his hands down her back, he worried at the ties that held her top in place, not really undoing them, just testing her reaction. When she didn't protest he began to undo them for real.
A/N: I don't really feel I'm doing them justice. Let me know if it's worth continuing or not.