A/N: Well, I've had this sitting in a notebook for about two years, or so and finally decided to post it. Hope you like it! You know the drill people R&R plz. Later!
This is a song-fic/one shot. Plz bear with me: I obviously have been sitting on this for quite some time and yet I can't seem to rewrite it, so I'll post it as is--basically.
Song lyrics
Thoughts
--- change in P.O.V.
Anime/Manga: Gravitation-MakiMurakami
Song: We Can't Be Friends-Deborah Cox feat. R.L. (CD version)
Disclaimer: I own neither Gravi nor this long named song-who'da thunk it?
Shuichi paced the length of his best friend's apartment restlessly. His nerves were tightly coiled-he couldn't stay still.
"You alright, Shuichi?" Hiro questioned, coming out the kitchen. It was near impossible to miss the onslaught of persistent footsteps from the next room.
"Fine," he snapped in response. He stopped, hanging his head. He hadn't meant to answer like that, but before he could apologize, he caught the understanding smile on Hiro's face.
"Shu, maybe you should just relax for a while," the redhead suggested headed for his room. "Take your mind off of things for a bit."
Shuichi snorted, though Hiro was too far to hear it. I can't keep doing this. I've got to do something, now. He grabbed his jacket off a chair back. "I'm going out!"
---
Eiri sat, staring blankly at his laptop. It was useless, he wouldn't be able to get any work done; his head just wasn't in it.
Aggravated, he pushed away from his desk lighting a cigarette. He no longer knew how many he'd gone through that day, it was irrelevant now. Hitting a switch on the radio, he moved to an open window watching the smoke unfurl. He tuned out the droning voice of the DJ as he introduced the next song, acknowledging only his rising irritation, until he recognized the unusual selection playing. Son of a... he let the incomplete obscenity hang in the air as he contemplated the world's motivation to annoy him.
To just act like
We never were
To come around
And not show her
Something about the song left a bad feeling in the air around him. Maybe it was just his own paranoia.
---
Shuichi mindlessly walked block after block, seeing only what made him feel worse.
Everywhere he looked he only saw happy, loving couples. It filled him with a sorrowful longing and regret for what he would never again have.
---
How dare we greet
By shaking hands
Seeing Shuichi at NG when he went to see Tohma was torture on him, torture he could so plainly see etched on Shuichi's face each and every time.
Just months ago
I was your man, was your man
---
Shuichi stopped, surveying his surroundings. He was in the furthest end of the park. The park in which he'd first met Yuki, who at that time had just been a stranger who had, in Shuichi's opinion, harshly critiqued his lyrics. More bittersweet memories came to him as he slowly made his way through the park. Each one hurt more then the last as he stopped, looking around him. 'What is that?'
There was a song playing somewhere; he didn't know yet he recognized the lyrics. The sound itself seemed to emanate from the buildings and trees and surround him on a gentle breeze.
Verbally we agreed it was over
And we were through
'No, it's not over yet. Not yet...'
---
I'm trying to compose myself
But I just can't get over you girl, no
We can't be friends
We can't be friends
-girl don't you know I can't go on being just your friend-
We can't be friends
Cause I'm still in love with you
He exhaled slowly, watching the smoke rise as did his anger.
He was angry that he'd let it get this way between them. He knew he wasn't the easiest person to get along with. He admired Shuichi for putting up with him after all this time. Some of the things he'd said and done to Shuichi.... It made him wonder--no, he knew the reason.
Shuichi loved him.
Just as he loved Shuichi.
And now it was time to make things right.
---
I went by Mother's
Saw your car there
To her you're still family
And it don't seem fair
Shuichi stood mesmerized by the song. There was such truth to it. Enough to make him think twice about what he was about to do. Yea, it had been difficult but he'd always pushed on, fought for what he wanted: Yuki. And yet here he was set on breaking up with him.
Was this what he really wanted?
For everyone to just go on
I've tried and I can't do it
Cause I'm still torn
He was torn. He didn't know what to do anymore; didn't know what he wanted.
I've tried to think of you as just another love
No, Yuki would never be just another love to him. He would always be the only. But for the sake of his band, for the sake of his music, he had to do something now. Recollecting his courage he started off again.
---
In my past
That didn't last
But it's not that simple, baby
Nothing between him and Shuichi could ever be simple. Shuichi was so vibrant and full of life and emotion. Nothing that involved Shuichi could ever be mediocre.
He didn't want to admit it but he missed that--no he missed his pink haired brat. And dammit, he missed him a lot.
Yuki grabbed his jacket and left. He had to see him.
He had to see him now.
---
We can't be friends
-oh no no no o oh-
We can't be friends
-if we, if we can't be lovers-
We can't be friends
Cause I'm still in love
Shuichi walked towards the far entrance to the park. He was still very much in love with Yuki. Loved him so much it hurt but he couldn't allow this to go on any longer; either they were together for good... or apart for good.
So simple and yet so complicated.
He blindly saw the many people who moved throughout the park, taking no notice to the stares he got. He paid no attention until one person entered the park. One person who paid him no mind until they stood only a few feet apart.
The one person he would recognize anywhere. The person whose golden brown hair fell in soft tresses around his face framing clear blue eyes that stared deeply into his own.
You may see me staring
Or catch me in a daze
May see me hang my head
When you come my way
Shuichi looked away, once again uncertain of what to do. He hated how his body longed for the elder males touch. Hated how his heart contracted at the sight of him. Hated it and loved it at the same time.
Yuki watched Shuichi for a moment. Shuichi, his Shuichi would finally be back where he belonged: with him. He started to close the remaining space between them but stopped when Shuichi looked up. 'His face... Oh God, his face...' he watched the splay of conflicting emotions travel across Shuichi's face.
Suddenly Sakano's voice seemed to permeate the air around them:
'Shindou-kun is in love with you. Does that mean anything to you? No matter what you do he keeps loving you.'
Of course that meant something. Still does. It's just... why didn't he realize it before?
Don't get too close to me
And expect me to behave
Shuichi stepped forward; closing the space between them and resisted the urge to reach out to him yet was surprised when Yuki pulled him closer still.
I might just steal a kiss
If you come near my face
Yuki bent his head and kissed his much-missed singer. He didn't care who saw them. All he knew was the fact that he finally felt complete.
Shuichi kissed him back with an unreigned passion he didn't know he possessed before he realized what was happening. He was losing control of the situation. Rapidly. Thankfully, Yuki pulled away...
And the words 'I'm sorry' were a nanosecond away from being voiced when he saw his singers face.
What I'm trying to say
-a i ayi i yay oh ho-
We can't be friends
"Yuki..." He began but broke off when he realized he was shaking.
Shuichi took a deep breath and stepped back, putting space between them although it was the last thing he wanted.
Can you look me in the eye
And honestly say you don't love me
Tell me you know
All that I know
I'll never ever find another love like you
If he went through with it, that was it. It was really over. There would be no going back.
I love you too much baby
I love you too much
-oooOOoo-
We can't be friends
I'm still in love with you
"Shuichi?"
I am
I am
Still in love
With you
"Shuichi..."
What was he going to do?
A/N: Note to readers of my other stories I haven't been writing, I will though, but its not a promise so feel free to be highly upset with me. And if you're wondering about this I would to remind you that as I stated I had this written for a very long time, lost it then found it again. So umm sorry and whatnot. Don't hate the writer-- hate the writers' block. Thanks to those who read it!
- Be sure to look for the sequel coming soon!!!