..::Ask For Mercy::..

or: From Another Point Of View

Once I asked a question. Though I said it ironically I was totally serious about it. He didn't know. He doesn't know. He won't know. Never ever will he. …because he didn't realize how serious I was, didn't realize how much I longed to see his reaction, watched him, every inch of him."Is he your boyfriend?" Trembling, shouting, the easyness fallen away from him, the fear and pain and suffering written not as much in his face as in his eyes. His wonderful green eyes… always painful deep, at the same time easy to read. This eyes I loved to feel on my skin, loved them for touching my body, loved them for their feeling,… this lovely, gorgeous, malicious and wonderful green eyes… This precious, captivating green eyes.

Since the boy came into the family there has been trouble. Not that there was really big trouble nor did the neighbours noticed something - but for me it was obvious. The boy meant trouble.
It was weird how much attention he got all the time. Thought I was -I am- the really important one this little rag got all the attention. Yeah, maybe the negative kind of attention, but he gets it. He is kind of a rival to me. I had to get my attention in a different way - and I perfectly knew how! It was weird how fast my parents got me all the things I wanted - most of those things I did NOT needed to get, but that's how I got attention. I longed for the attention he got.
They always had an eye on him - but it was me who was their son!
My way to get the attention was easy- so simple I was almost astonished.
After a while I noticed they didn't really cared for me - of cause, they got my all I wished, but they didn't think about what I would need in my future.
So I tried to catch their attention in an other way - and this was far harder than what I tried before.
I ate.
I was eating all the time.
Sometimes, no -often! I felt like vomiting. But there was this reason which stopped me from doing so. They cared for me and petted me - but this damn boy got all the way to much attention. I wished he'd go away thought I couldn't imagine how my life would look without him. Very much later I realised it wasn't him who disturbed my 'need of attention'.
In all the years I just tried to get more attention than he got. I didn't realised what I was really looking, longing for.
As we came into different schools I realised step by step what I was longing for. I wanted, I needed attention - from him and only him. I tried to keep this thought down by food (which I got used to) and - by my gang. Every time I saw the kids with fear, but full attention in their eyes lurking towards me,
I wished
he was one of those kids,
kneeling in front of me,

looking up to me,

watching every move with frightened eyes and
asking for
mercy.

Note: I hope you all enjoyed it. I ask you all to comment on it – and help me to improve my English. Mails and owls are wonderful, too. This fan-fiction was inspired by just one sentence.

This sentence, which was so obvious in English, but in the German version of Harry Potter quite… hidden. That is the reason I own all of the books in the original version!

I'm not quite sure - should I write something more? As I don't think Dudley/Harry is too popular I'll leave it at this – or you'll have to convince me I'm wrong with your comments if you want more.

So here you go: