Today was a beautiful day, Allen noted. Standing in the shade of an oak tree, he peered up at the leaves nestled together, protecting his eyes from the sun's rays. But some of that light shone through the papery thinness of the leaves, illuminating the veins of each individual leaf like lace. What a beautiful sight, to see the innocence of such bright green against a pale blue sky, the happy sun bringing light to all living things.
If only he could be with him to see this.
Because he knew he would love it too. He knew how much they both loved the purity and peace of nature, the simplistic beauty of the ubiquitous in a chaotic world. Allen openly shared that love with him. Took photos of scenery he loved, commented on the beauty of the world, asked him to go on nice strolls with him. He wanted someone to share this simple part of his life with, and was pleased when he agreed to come along.
But maybe…he asked for too much that time. Maybe he should have been more aware of what he wanted.
Because sharing such a beautiful part of his life opened his heart to more than he bargained for.
A three-hour stroll through the woods, where they both just talked about nothing but each others' lives, became magic in his eyes. There was just something deeply comfortable about their moments together, about the conversation that he never wanted to end. Allen shared so much more of his life than he ever shared with anyone else…
His past. His hopes and aspirations. The little things that made him happy, that made him look forward to waking up another day. Miscellaneous details of his life that he never thought was necessary to convey in a regular conversation with friends.
Before he knew it, his whole heart was out in the open.
And he didn't mind. To him, it felt like home.
A home in a person he barely knew, but whom he felt understood him better than any other person in his life.
He never wanted this to end. He was addicted to this comfortable presence, to their beautiful, flowing conversation, to the warmth blossoming in his heart. Slowly but surely, he was falling in love with the deep tone of his voice, to the kind and gentle heart he sensed through his words, to the beautiful soul who walked next to him and saw the same beauty in their surroundings. The glistening moonlight on the river, the cloudless starry night sky, the shadows of the trees and the rough stony path. It truly was…a dream come true.
He probably should have recognized the reality of the situation when the person he grew to love left every night with a short, curt good-bye. Nothing more. Not a "thank you." Not even an "I had a good time." He never even registered that perhaps what was happening in the other person's mind was not the magic he felt, but a bored person wishing to pass time.
He thought…his dreams were finally coming true.
He never would have expected that the fateful night he professed his feelings, his heart would be shattered to a million pieces.
Oh, wretched Cupid. To shoot one person in the heart and to completely miss the other! What kind of sin did he ever commit to receive such cruel torture? What ounce of profanity in his otherwise loving heart smeared the purity of his quilt of life that Fate decided it needed to be burned off? A horrible fate it is, to love without reciprocation, to lose someone he never had, to see his whole heart given away for naught!
Was life so cruel? That something so beautiful could become nothing?
Love…is cruel torment.
But no matter how much pain he suffered, he could only feel bliss as he walked down that same path, looking again at the beautiful sky, trees, flowers that he once shared with him, hoping that one day, they could walk the path again, both hearts ready for one another. He would always remember the beauty of their few encounters, no matter how brief they were. He would always remember the gift he gave him…
The rose in the desert.
The one beautiful mark in an otherwise plain, uneventful life.
As Allen reached out to caress the gentle leaves, his heart ached with the agony of longing for someone long gone, a mere traveler in his walking life. How dearly he missed him. How he longed to share his heart with him again, the innocent heart he cherished before it was shattered to pieces.
He glanced ahead of the path. Rows of trees were situated on either side of the rocky path, their thick foliage creating a leafy tunnel that led to the grassy plains beyond the woods. He could see colorful spots in the distance. Flowers. Flowers that grew there, waiting for him to enjoy their beauty, to pluck their petals, to bring hope to him again.
He breathed deeply, and closed his eyes. Yes, he knew. He looked towards the light, a heavenly cascade by the opening of the woods. As hard as it was, it was time to move on. It was time to begin a new chapter of life.
With a heavy heart, he moved forward in the darkness, towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
Missing you comes in waves. Tonight…I'm drowning.
I love you, forever and always.
They both sat under an oak tree on the hill, laughing at a story Allen shared.
"Oh, that is crazy!" He cackled.
Allen beamed. "I know! I am like my father, honestly."
"Yes, you have guts, just like him."
They both settled into a comfortable silence, just taking in their surroundings. The spot on the hill was a truly breathtaking place. The countryside expanded before them, orchards of trees on one side, a fenced resident area adjacent to it as well as a field of flowers on the other side. It was a lovely spring day, with a cloudless sky and a bright sun high at noon.
Next to Allen, his sweetheart took a deep breath, and he felt him relax against his arm. "It is a beautiful day."
Allen glanced at him, and took him all in. His child-like eyes, the dumb grin on his face, his beautiful stature. There he was. The love of his life. Sitting with him, sharing this moment with him. An unbearable tightness gripped his heart. Allen turned away, glancing down at the soft grass beneath his palm.
He smiled, a tear running down his cheek.
"Yes, it certainly is a beautiful day."