Disclaimer: said it a hundred times before! Stargate SG1 is the property of MGM, Double Secret and Gekko corp. This story is only for the enjoyment of fans and no money has been gained out of it.
Authors Note: The long awaited follow up to 'A bad feeling', which was the first fanfic I ever wrote. I got some really great feedback from it, and many asked for a follow up, so here it is! Hope you enjoy it. Please Review at the end!
Pairings: Sam and Jack
Rating: PG
The happily ever after bit.
Waking in my own bed confirms the fleeting dream like moment that occurred in the night, in which Jack picked my up off that bathroom floor and carried me to my bed. I stretch out my legs, which had because they had started to cramp was the reason for my awaking. As I stretch them out I find a heavy warm lump, resting next to me on the bed. He body safely on top on the covers and almost fully clothed, missing only his shoes and socks. As I wriggle more, I notice that his hand is draped across my body; a position that I felt way to comfortable with.
The night before had been my first back home, after being taken as a host, almost killing my dad, being shot and then stuck on some planet as my wound slowly became infected. Jack was the main reason I made it home alive. He didn't give up, and he was one the how found the ship that eventually got us off that planet. As I had expected, the nightmares had come and at one point made me physically sick. But nevertheless Jack stayed, at first because he was asked to by Janet and then because, well...I guess because he wanted to, and because he knew I needed him, even if I didn't at first.
Noticing the first hints of daylight, I look over at my clock. 4:27am shown out in my misty blue-tinted room in big red letters. Jacks hand twitched and he let out a little sigh, which I couldn't help but smile at. I like this. I like him here with me, in...well ok, on my bed. It feels right. But somewhere inside I know it can't be this way. I know that this is just a one off. All the same I can't help but long for how it could be, how so many other versions of me had it. Jack by their side night and day, and no reason to hide it or feel guilty for being totally and completely in love with him.
I close my eyes, banishing the thought and instead wriggle back further in to his arms, content, at least for now, just to pretend that nothing was out of place and nothing is wrong with this picture. I drift into a light sleep, deciding it is way to early to even think about getting out of bed yet.
**
When I wake for the second time, he's gone. I panic for a moment, thinking it was only a dream, but when I role on to his pillow, I can smell his scent there, and I take that as proof that I didn't dream that he had his arms around me, and that it felt good.
After minutes of lying their, breathing in his scent from the pillow, I finally move and get up, my first stop; the bathroom. I have a quick shower and get dressed before heading down stairs for breakfast. After toast and oatmeal I feel strangely refreshed, and decide to go for a run.
I had spent the last seven days coped up in the infirmary and I needed to stretch my legs and get some real air in my lungs. I had the whole day, in fact the whole week as downtime, so it wouldn't matter how far I ran or what time I got back.
My journey, starting out as a slow jog took me to the local park and once around the grounds that included. Still feeling strong I decided to head on out to the mountain like hills on the other side. The gets cooler as I grow higher in altitude and it becomes harder to breath. A dull ache returns to my chest and the memory of the wound, still not completely gone causes me to flinch as it sends a fresh wave of pain though my body. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.
I sit down on a fallen tree and look back down over the town. Its still early, and I can see children (only dots from here) as they play in the park whilst waiting for the school bus. Out on the other side I can see the distant mountain shape of the place I spend so much of my time in. If the people down there new what was going on just a few miles from there homes, good only knows what would happen. I guess ignorance really is bliss.
Why did he leave? Why did he leave without so much as an 'I'll see you later,' or 'bye'. Hell, he could have a left a note even; I just needed to know that he was ok. That I hadn't said, or done anything to make things difficult between us. Maybe he's as confused as I am. Maybe he wanted to disappear for a while, to think things though. Maybe I'd get home and there'd be a message on my phone telling me that he's ok and he's sorry he had to leave, but he needed to do something. Yeah. That would be it. He'd forgotten to file his paper work and the general had called him in early to do it, or something like that. It would be nothing to worry about. Things between us are fine. Nothings changed. Nothing...
The rush of adrenalin that the pain was releasing, and a sudden desire to get home is what drove me to pick up the pace and get back in a good time, even for me. I open the door and dropped the keys on the table in the fall as I headed for the kitchen to check the answer phone. I hit the play button, but the voice I heard was not the one I wanted to hear.
You have one new message. Message received today at 7:57 am
# "Hi Sam, its just me. Just checking up on ya, making sure your not pushing yourself to hard. That wound is still not fully healed. I don't want you back in here with it opened up and bleeding. Think of the mess! Anyway, I'll come over later and sort out the dressing for you. Take care! Bye." #
Janet, bless her. She's got eyes in the back of her head, that woman! Then again, she could just know me to well. To many 'girl's night's out' and drunken confession to be good. She probably knows all my darkest secrets and I wounded know it. God knows; I like to chat when I'm drunk.
After pacing the floor so many times I'm sure its gone a slightly lighter shade, and trying to watch telly, read a book and do housework, I finally give up and call him.
"O'Neill"
His voice took me by surprise, as he answered faster than I had expected. In fact, I had expected to get the machine.
"Hi, Sir. Its me."
"Carter! Hi." a silence followed. "What can I do for you?"
Ah! What was I going to say to him? I really just wanted to know where he was, and why he'd left, and if he was coming back. I wanted him to tell me that we could... but I knew I wouldn't hear that. Not now, at least.
" Erm, well I just wondering if you were ok? Did you find everything ok, this morning? I mean you left before I woke up, so I was worried that something had happened." I'm babbling, but I think he gets the point.
"Yeah, sorry about that. Err, look, the thing is, when I woke up I... I just realised something, and I needed to take care of it. Its nothing to worry about, I'm sorry if I scared you."
What did he need to take care of? What could he have realised whilst he was lying on my bed. Did he feel the same way as me when he woke up and found that his arm was resting across my body? I had to talk to him about it, but not over the phone.
" Colonel, I have a few things I need to discuss with you. Could you come over tonight please?"
" Er, sure. Ok, well about 8 ok with you?"
" Yeah, fine. Thanks."
"No problem. Well, I'll see you later then. Bye."
"Bye sir."
**
The day passed and nothing more spectacular than Mr. Hogget from next-door cutting his grass happened. Unable to face the world and go shopping in person, I ordered some food online, and with hours it was here from the supermarket down the road. After putting the food away and having a little lunch, I settled in front of the telly to watch the joy that is commonly known as daytime television. Nothing but cheep soaps with the same tired old story lines; the love triangles, pregnancy's- but whose the daddy? Honestly! I eventually settle for a video. Good old 'Sleepless in Seattle.' It's a classic, and always leaves me with a few stray tears.
As the credits began to role, dusk was falling outside. I look at my watch to discover it was 7:30pm. I turned the telly off and picked up the remains of a bag of chips, two diet coke cans and a few tear-stained Kleenex. I think its safe to say that I had some quality 'me' time. After dumping the whole lot in the bin, I head for the bathroom to clean up a bit. I don't want Jack to think I can't look after myself.
Just as I finish combing my hair, there's a knock at the door. I have one final check in the mirror whispering to myself, 'well, I guess this is it!' and head for the door.
Seconds later he's standing in the hall, wearing cream trousers and a black t-shirt and holding his keys lightly in his fingers.
"Hi" I say in an unsure and slightly nervous tone despite my desperate attempt to keep it at a normal level. He nods and says, "hi," back.
I gesture for him to follow me into the front room.
"Can I get you anything, a bear, coffee?" I ask as we stand there together, neither sure as to what exactly is going on and that uncertainty fuelling an uncomfortable air in the room.
"Coffee would be good, thanks." He replies and puts his keys done on the table next to the sofa.
"Ok. Well, make yourself at home, I'll be right back." And with that I walk over into the kitchen and set about making two coffees', whilst silently trying to figure out away of getting Jack to open up. He never was the easiest to talk to.
So busy in my thoughts I didn't notice him come in and offer to help. It was only on his repeating of my name that I started and turned around, spilling hot water everywhere, including over my hand.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering if you needed any help?" He asked casually, not noticing my burn and I hid it behind my back.
"No, I think I've got it covered, but tha..."
"What's that?" he interrupts.
"What?" Comes out in the most innocent voice I can muster.
"Your hand. Let me see." He walks over and for a second I hesitate, but he takes hold of it gently and pulls it round to where he can see it.
"Carter, that's a nasty burn. Did this just happen when I made you jump?" I didn't want to admit it, but the look on his face told me he already knew the answer. He apologised, and I said the usual, 'don't be silly it was an accident. It's my own fault for not paying attention'.
"Well, at least let me help you patch it up."
"There's really no..."
"That's an order Major!" To which I just smile and give in.
"Where do you keep your first aid kit?" he asks, ushering me to a seat in the front room.
"Under the sink."
With in seconds he's back, with the kit already open and looking for an antiseptic wipe. Finding all the ingredients he needs, he puts the kit down on the floor and takes a seat next to me on the sofa, a bandage and various creams on his lap. Taking my hand in his he begins his work, opening the wipe and saying, "This might sting a bit" as he gently wipes it over my now bright red and blistering hand. I cringe as the stinging sensation rings though my skins and runs up my arm. He stops, hearing my sharp intake of breathe, and watches my face for a signal to carry on. I nod and he finishes wiping around and gently over the damaged area. A few minutes later and he has applied a bandage and was now sitting with my hand between his, unwilling to let it go.
I watch him as he smoothes the dressing, almost pretending that he wasn't quite finished with it. Just a few seconds later he releases it, realising he's held on to long. I smile slightly and we both look away. Why is it so difficult to be alone with him all of a sudden? All we didn't last night was sleep. I'd been though a lot, he was just comforting me, the way friends are supposed too, right?
"Look, Sam," I raise my head in surprise, "I'm sorry about this morning, I shouldn't have just run out on you like that. Its just that, well.... When I woke up, and you were in my arms," He voice is rough and unsure and his face shows his internal struggle to find the words. "I knew that it was wrong, but it felt so..."
"Right?" I finish for him. He looks me in the eye for the first time since he arrived at my door almost half an hour ago. He nods.
"I'm sorry. I know that your career is really important to you. I shouldn't be complicating things by having feelings for you. You deserve better than an almost over the hill colonel with a certain disregard for the rules."
I let out a little smile and sigh of relief. I have a come back for what he's said, and I intend to tell him, but first I reach out and touch his arm, making sure that I have his full attention.
"Colonel," He looks up, "Jack, you have nothing to be sorry for. Your right, I do value my career, but it's not the most important thing in life. With the goa'uld practically knocking on our door and what happened to me last week, I've realised how important it is to keep track of what really matters. Friends, loved ones," I say with emphasis, moving my head slightly to catch his eye, "Your disregard for the rules is what makes our work interesting, and your SO not over the hill!" I surprise myself by adding, "Your gorgeous!" To which we both turned a slight shade of red.
"Sam, our fight against the goa'uld, that's important too. And we haven't got the right to mess that up." He says, slightly more confidently, but just as I'm about to jump in, he puts his finger on my lips silently telling me to let him finish. "But despite all that, I need you in my life. And I need you there as more than just my 2IC and as more than just a friend. I don't think I can stand be around you everyday knowing that that's all you are."
"So, what do you suggest?" I ask, taking his hand that still rested on my lips in my hand and holding on to it.
"Ok, well, don't get mad, ok?" I look at him suspiciously.
"Why, what have you done?"
"This morning, I went to see Hammond. That's why I left so early."
"And?"
"And, I told him how I felt about you, and that if necessary I would continue to behave as I have up to now, but that I didn't know how much longer I could keep that up for." My eyes widened, but I gestured for him to go on. "Well, he said he'd see what he could do. He had a few favours that people in high places owed him. He's got this idea. You get your own command, but we work as a joint team split into two units. That way we'll still be out there together, but you wont be under my command anymore. You'll get a promotion first, of course."
My mouth fell open. Wow. That would be the best of both worlds. I get Jack and my own command.
"Say something?" Wakes me from a trance like state.
"Wow. I can't quite believe it. That would be great."
"So your not mad?" I smile and role my eyes. Before I know it I'm throwing myself into his arms and he's kissing my neck. We pull apart reluctantly and smile at one another.
"Jack, I know its so over used these days and is getting to sound like a cliché, but I really love you, in a way that I've never loved anyone else my whole life. I still can't believe I found you, and what's more, I can't believe you feel the same way."
"You better believe it! I love you, Sam." He whispers before we disappear into a kiss.
**
The new team idea that the general had came to pass. I had three bright young sparks how thought they knew it all... for the first week at least and then fell down to the real world with a bump. SG1, which now comprised of two elite units went on all missions together, splitting on the other side of the gate. I got my promotion to Colonel, which still sounded odd to my ears. And six months later, whilst on holiday in Italy (meaning that I finally got Jack to somewhere other than that cabin during our downtime) we came across a gorgeous white sandy beach, and got married. And after the initial annoyance that they'd missed the wedding of the year (apparently people had bets on when it would happen, and Technician Davis one that!) everyone was happy for us.
Now, almost a year later, I'm lying on a bed in the infirmary, idly exchanging small talk with Jack as we wait for Janet. She sweeps in, apologising for being late, and begins to put the gel on my now swollen belly. As soon as the scanner touches my stomach, a black and white picture of our baby flickers into life. In another 4 months, our baby would be born.
"Do you want to know what sex it is?" Janet asks, her face full with a broad smile. I look at Jack, and we both agree.
"Yeah." I reply.
"Sure."
"Come on doc, the suspense is killing us." Jack adds.
"Ok! You're having a little girl. Congratulations!"
And with that it sinks in that we're going to be parents. Jack and I exchange a small kiss, and look back at the screen, where our daughter is happily kicking around and randomly moving her arms.
A print out of the picture goes in Jack's wallet. 4 months, and 3 days later, Rose Ester Mae is in the world and on her way home. Janet agreed that the SGC wasn't the best place to bring a baby into the world, and delivered her at the hospital just down the road.
On the way home, Jack stops the car at the churchyard four blocks from our new home (we wanted one that was ours, not his, and not mine.)
"Can I?" He asks, unsure. It takes a minute for me to comprehend, but I understand when he looks around to the baby seat in the back. I nod.
"I'll wait for you."
"No, come. I want him to meet you too." I look at him, surprised, but he is insistent, so I follow him as he carry's our baby up the gravel path way and across the yard. He stops in front of a big head stone, decorated with Ivey leaves and an inscription that read,
Charles Benjamin O'Neill
4 April 1982- 15 June 1994
Much loved and forever missed
Jack looked tiredly at the head stone and for a second said nothing. Then he reached out and took hold of my hand.
"Hi son. Just thought I stop by. I have someone, well actually two people I want you to meet. This is your new little sister, Rose. I know you'll keep an eye out for her from up there. And this," he pulled me round in front of him, "This is Sam. She's my wife, and your sisters mum. Now no thunder bolts or anything like that! I love Sam and she makes me happy." He waits a moment as if waiting for that thunderbolt. When it doesn't come he goes on, "See, I knew you'd understand."
After that, the years passed steadily. I went back to work for a while, but when our second child came, a son this time, two years later, I gave up active gate travel and settled for a job in the lab. Jack retired and stayed home with the kids, playing house with Rose, and cowboys and Indians with Luke.
Life, for us at least, was finally complete.
THE END
Authors Note: The long awaited follow up to 'A bad feeling', which was the first fanfic I ever wrote. I got some really great feedback from it, and many asked for a follow up, so here it is! Hope you enjoy it. Please Review at the end!
Pairings: Sam and Jack
Rating: PG
The happily ever after bit.
Waking in my own bed confirms the fleeting dream like moment that occurred in the night, in which Jack picked my up off that bathroom floor and carried me to my bed. I stretch out my legs, which had because they had started to cramp was the reason for my awaking. As I stretch them out I find a heavy warm lump, resting next to me on the bed. He body safely on top on the covers and almost fully clothed, missing only his shoes and socks. As I wriggle more, I notice that his hand is draped across my body; a position that I felt way to comfortable with.
The night before had been my first back home, after being taken as a host, almost killing my dad, being shot and then stuck on some planet as my wound slowly became infected. Jack was the main reason I made it home alive. He didn't give up, and he was one the how found the ship that eventually got us off that planet. As I had expected, the nightmares had come and at one point made me physically sick. But nevertheless Jack stayed, at first because he was asked to by Janet and then because, well...I guess because he wanted to, and because he knew I needed him, even if I didn't at first.
Noticing the first hints of daylight, I look over at my clock. 4:27am shown out in my misty blue-tinted room in big red letters. Jacks hand twitched and he let out a little sigh, which I couldn't help but smile at. I like this. I like him here with me, in...well ok, on my bed. It feels right. But somewhere inside I know it can't be this way. I know that this is just a one off. All the same I can't help but long for how it could be, how so many other versions of me had it. Jack by their side night and day, and no reason to hide it or feel guilty for being totally and completely in love with him.
I close my eyes, banishing the thought and instead wriggle back further in to his arms, content, at least for now, just to pretend that nothing was out of place and nothing is wrong with this picture. I drift into a light sleep, deciding it is way to early to even think about getting out of bed yet.
**
When I wake for the second time, he's gone. I panic for a moment, thinking it was only a dream, but when I role on to his pillow, I can smell his scent there, and I take that as proof that I didn't dream that he had his arms around me, and that it felt good.
After minutes of lying their, breathing in his scent from the pillow, I finally move and get up, my first stop; the bathroom. I have a quick shower and get dressed before heading down stairs for breakfast. After toast and oatmeal I feel strangely refreshed, and decide to go for a run.
I had spent the last seven days coped up in the infirmary and I needed to stretch my legs and get some real air in my lungs. I had the whole day, in fact the whole week as downtime, so it wouldn't matter how far I ran or what time I got back.
My journey, starting out as a slow jog took me to the local park and once around the grounds that included. Still feeling strong I decided to head on out to the mountain like hills on the other side. The gets cooler as I grow higher in altitude and it becomes harder to breath. A dull ache returns to my chest and the memory of the wound, still not completely gone causes me to flinch as it sends a fresh wave of pain though my body. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.
I sit down on a fallen tree and look back down over the town. Its still early, and I can see children (only dots from here) as they play in the park whilst waiting for the school bus. Out on the other side I can see the distant mountain shape of the place I spend so much of my time in. If the people down there new what was going on just a few miles from there homes, good only knows what would happen. I guess ignorance really is bliss.
Why did he leave? Why did he leave without so much as an 'I'll see you later,' or 'bye'. Hell, he could have a left a note even; I just needed to know that he was ok. That I hadn't said, or done anything to make things difficult between us. Maybe he's as confused as I am. Maybe he wanted to disappear for a while, to think things though. Maybe I'd get home and there'd be a message on my phone telling me that he's ok and he's sorry he had to leave, but he needed to do something. Yeah. That would be it. He'd forgotten to file his paper work and the general had called him in early to do it, or something like that. It would be nothing to worry about. Things between us are fine. Nothings changed. Nothing...
The rush of adrenalin that the pain was releasing, and a sudden desire to get home is what drove me to pick up the pace and get back in a good time, even for me. I open the door and dropped the keys on the table in the fall as I headed for the kitchen to check the answer phone. I hit the play button, but the voice I heard was not the one I wanted to hear.
You have one new message. Message received today at 7:57 am
# "Hi Sam, its just me. Just checking up on ya, making sure your not pushing yourself to hard. That wound is still not fully healed. I don't want you back in here with it opened up and bleeding. Think of the mess! Anyway, I'll come over later and sort out the dressing for you. Take care! Bye." #
Janet, bless her. She's got eyes in the back of her head, that woman! Then again, she could just know me to well. To many 'girl's night's out' and drunken confession to be good. She probably knows all my darkest secrets and I wounded know it. God knows; I like to chat when I'm drunk.
After pacing the floor so many times I'm sure its gone a slightly lighter shade, and trying to watch telly, read a book and do housework, I finally give up and call him.
"O'Neill"
His voice took me by surprise, as he answered faster than I had expected. In fact, I had expected to get the machine.
"Hi, Sir. Its me."
"Carter! Hi." a silence followed. "What can I do for you?"
Ah! What was I going to say to him? I really just wanted to know where he was, and why he'd left, and if he was coming back. I wanted him to tell me that we could... but I knew I wouldn't hear that. Not now, at least.
" Erm, well I just wondering if you were ok? Did you find everything ok, this morning? I mean you left before I woke up, so I was worried that something had happened." I'm babbling, but I think he gets the point.
"Yeah, sorry about that. Err, look, the thing is, when I woke up I... I just realised something, and I needed to take care of it. Its nothing to worry about, I'm sorry if I scared you."
What did he need to take care of? What could he have realised whilst he was lying on my bed. Did he feel the same way as me when he woke up and found that his arm was resting across my body? I had to talk to him about it, but not over the phone.
" Colonel, I have a few things I need to discuss with you. Could you come over tonight please?"
" Er, sure. Ok, well about 8 ok with you?"
" Yeah, fine. Thanks."
"No problem. Well, I'll see you later then. Bye."
"Bye sir."
**
The day passed and nothing more spectacular than Mr. Hogget from next-door cutting his grass happened. Unable to face the world and go shopping in person, I ordered some food online, and with hours it was here from the supermarket down the road. After putting the food away and having a little lunch, I settled in front of the telly to watch the joy that is commonly known as daytime television. Nothing but cheep soaps with the same tired old story lines; the love triangles, pregnancy's- but whose the daddy? Honestly! I eventually settle for a video. Good old 'Sleepless in Seattle.' It's a classic, and always leaves me with a few stray tears.
As the credits began to role, dusk was falling outside. I look at my watch to discover it was 7:30pm. I turned the telly off and picked up the remains of a bag of chips, two diet coke cans and a few tear-stained Kleenex. I think its safe to say that I had some quality 'me' time. After dumping the whole lot in the bin, I head for the bathroom to clean up a bit. I don't want Jack to think I can't look after myself.
Just as I finish combing my hair, there's a knock at the door. I have one final check in the mirror whispering to myself, 'well, I guess this is it!' and head for the door.
Seconds later he's standing in the hall, wearing cream trousers and a black t-shirt and holding his keys lightly in his fingers.
"Hi" I say in an unsure and slightly nervous tone despite my desperate attempt to keep it at a normal level. He nods and says, "hi," back.
I gesture for him to follow me into the front room.
"Can I get you anything, a bear, coffee?" I ask as we stand there together, neither sure as to what exactly is going on and that uncertainty fuelling an uncomfortable air in the room.
"Coffee would be good, thanks." He replies and puts his keys done on the table next to the sofa.
"Ok. Well, make yourself at home, I'll be right back." And with that I walk over into the kitchen and set about making two coffees', whilst silently trying to figure out away of getting Jack to open up. He never was the easiest to talk to.
So busy in my thoughts I didn't notice him come in and offer to help. It was only on his repeating of my name that I started and turned around, spilling hot water everywhere, including over my hand.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering if you needed any help?" He asked casually, not noticing my burn and I hid it behind my back.
"No, I think I've got it covered, but tha..."
"What's that?" he interrupts.
"What?" Comes out in the most innocent voice I can muster.
"Your hand. Let me see." He walks over and for a second I hesitate, but he takes hold of it gently and pulls it round to where he can see it.
"Carter, that's a nasty burn. Did this just happen when I made you jump?" I didn't want to admit it, but the look on his face told me he already knew the answer. He apologised, and I said the usual, 'don't be silly it was an accident. It's my own fault for not paying attention'.
"Well, at least let me help you patch it up."
"There's really no..."
"That's an order Major!" To which I just smile and give in.
"Where do you keep your first aid kit?" he asks, ushering me to a seat in the front room.
"Under the sink."
With in seconds he's back, with the kit already open and looking for an antiseptic wipe. Finding all the ingredients he needs, he puts the kit down on the floor and takes a seat next to me on the sofa, a bandage and various creams on his lap. Taking my hand in his he begins his work, opening the wipe and saying, "This might sting a bit" as he gently wipes it over my now bright red and blistering hand. I cringe as the stinging sensation rings though my skins and runs up my arm. He stops, hearing my sharp intake of breathe, and watches my face for a signal to carry on. I nod and he finishes wiping around and gently over the damaged area. A few minutes later and he has applied a bandage and was now sitting with my hand between his, unwilling to let it go.
I watch him as he smoothes the dressing, almost pretending that he wasn't quite finished with it. Just a few seconds later he releases it, realising he's held on to long. I smile slightly and we both look away. Why is it so difficult to be alone with him all of a sudden? All we didn't last night was sleep. I'd been though a lot, he was just comforting me, the way friends are supposed too, right?
"Look, Sam," I raise my head in surprise, "I'm sorry about this morning, I shouldn't have just run out on you like that. Its just that, well.... When I woke up, and you were in my arms," He voice is rough and unsure and his face shows his internal struggle to find the words. "I knew that it was wrong, but it felt so..."
"Right?" I finish for him. He looks me in the eye for the first time since he arrived at my door almost half an hour ago. He nods.
"I'm sorry. I know that your career is really important to you. I shouldn't be complicating things by having feelings for you. You deserve better than an almost over the hill colonel with a certain disregard for the rules."
I let out a little smile and sigh of relief. I have a come back for what he's said, and I intend to tell him, but first I reach out and touch his arm, making sure that I have his full attention.
"Colonel," He looks up, "Jack, you have nothing to be sorry for. Your right, I do value my career, but it's not the most important thing in life. With the goa'uld practically knocking on our door and what happened to me last week, I've realised how important it is to keep track of what really matters. Friends, loved ones," I say with emphasis, moving my head slightly to catch his eye, "Your disregard for the rules is what makes our work interesting, and your SO not over the hill!" I surprise myself by adding, "Your gorgeous!" To which we both turned a slight shade of red.
"Sam, our fight against the goa'uld, that's important too. And we haven't got the right to mess that up." He says, slightly more confidently, but just as I'm about to jump in, he puts his finger on my lips silently telling me to let him finish. "But despite all that, I need you in my life. And I need you there as more than just my 2IC and as more than just a friend. I don't think I can stand be around you everyday knowing that that's all you are."
"So, what do you suggest?" I ask, taking his hand that still rested on my lips in my hand and holding on to it.
"Ok, well, don't get mad, ok?" I look at him suspiciously.
"Why, what have you done?"
"This morning, I went to see Hammond. That's why I left so early."
"And?"
"And, I told him how I felt about you, and that if necessary I would continue to behave as I have up to now, but that I didn't know how much longer I could keep that up for." My eyes widened, but I gestured for him to go on. "Well, he said he'd see what he could do. He had a few favours that people in high places owed him. He's got this idea. You get your own command, but we work as a joint team split into two units. That way we'll still be out there together, but you wont be under my command anymore. You'll get a promotion first, of course."
My mouth fell open. Wow. That would be the best of both worlds. I get Jack and my own command.
"Say something?" Wakes me from a trance like state.
"Wow. I can't quite believe it. That would be great."
"So your not mad?" I smile and role my eyes. Before I know it I'm throwing myself into his arms and he's kissing my neck. We pull apart reluctantly and smile at one another.
"Jack, I know its so over used these days and is getting to sound like a cliché, but I really love you, in a way that I've never loved anyone else my whole life. I still can't believe I found you, and what's more, I can't believe you feel the same way."
"You better believe it! I love you, Sam." He whispers before we disappear into a kiss.
**
The new team idea that the general had came to pass. I had three bright young sparks how thought they knew it all... for the first week at least and then fell down to the real world with a bump. SG1, which now comprised of two elite units went on all missions together, splitting on the other side of the gate. I got my promotion to Colonel, which still sounded odd to my ears. And six months later, whilst on holiday in Italy (meaning that I finally got Jack to somewhere other than that cabin during our downtime) we came across a gorgeous white sandy beach, and got married. And after the initial annoyance that they'd missed the wedding of the year (apparently people had bets on when it would happen, and Technician Davis one that!) everyone was happy for us.
Now, almost a year later, I'm lying on a bed in the infirmary, idly exchanging small talk with Jack as we wait for Janet. She sweeps in, apologising for being late, and begins to put the gel on my now swollen belly. As soon as the scanner touches my stomach, a black and white picture of our baby flickers into life. In another 4 months, our baby would be born.
"Do you want to know what sex it is?" Janet asks, her face full with a broad smile. I look at Jack, and we both agree.
"Yeah." I reply.
"Sure."
"Come on doc, the suspense is killing us." Jack adds.
"Ok! You're having a little girl. Congratulations!"
And with that it sinks in that we're going to be parents. Jack and I exchange a small kiss, and look back at the screen, where our daughter is happily kicking around and randomly moving her arms.
A print out of the picture goes in Jack's wallet. 4 months, and 3 days later, Rose Ester Mae is in the world and on her way home. Janet agreed that the SGC wasn't the best place to bring a baby into the world, and delivered her at the hospital just down the road.
On the way home, Jack stops the car at the churchyard four blocks from our new home (we wanted one that was ours, not his, and not mine.)
"Can I?" He asks, unsure. It takes a minute for me to comprehend, but I understand when he looks around to the baby seat in the back. I nod.
"I'll wait for you."
"No, come. I want him to meet you too." I look at him, surprised, but he is insistent, so I follow him as he carry's our baby up the gravel path way and across the yard. He stops in front of a big head stone, decorated with Ivey leaves and an inscription that read,
Charles Benjamin O'Neill
4 April 1982- 15 June 1994
Much loved and forever missed
Jack looked tiredly at the head stone and for a second said nothing. Then he reached out and took hold of my hand.
"Hi son. Just thought I stop by. I have someone, well actually two people I want you to meet. This is your new little sister, Rose. I know you'll keep an eye out for her from up there. And this," he pulled me round in front of him, "This is Sam. She's my wife, and your sisters mum. Now no thunder bolts or anything like that! I love Sam and she makes me happy." He waits a moment as if waiting for that thunderbolt. When it doesn't come he goes on, "See, I knew you'd understand."
After that, the years passed steadily. I went back to work for a while, but when our second child came, a son this time, two years later, I gave up active gate travel and settled for a job in the lab. Jack retired and stayed home with the kids, playing house with Rose, and cowboys and Indians with Luke.
Life, for us at least, was finally complete.
THE END