Garfield vs Volk

Lasagna vs Blood

It was beautiful day in the land of America and Garfield was doing pushup with DIO blasting on radio while also weightlifting heaviest metal weights in existence, however to Garfield they were like paperweight. Suddenly TV flipped from channel on manly Hulk Hogan to special news report.

"This just in, Crimson Devil Vampire god of justice and vengeance Volk Vin Hellsing has kidnapped candidate Emilia and the shopkeeper Wiz, and he also brainwashed trap Felix to work for him. soon he will use them to create army of evil children, only a hero can save us now. Also he will destroy all lasagna because lasagna does not contribute to love. Garfield please save us" Said the news reporter with gloom.

"Poor girls, evil god man kidnapped them and defiles the American dream, I cannot stand for this. I will show him that true love come from the lasagna." And with that Garfield leaped on his lasagna-fuled Harley Davidson fusion plane to speed off to the rescue.

Meanwhile in Volk central castle where Volk resides…

"What do you mean Garfield is coming to save the girls?" Volk slapped trap Felix, who was mindcontrolled and did not react very much. "Yes, he is coming on his plane right now to defeat you, but I have already sent part of our military to defeat him" said Felix with emptiness. "Hahahahahahaha, cats are fools, he cannot bypass entire Volk military, my devil tanks and planes will blow him out of sky"

"Save us Garfield, you are our only hope" said Emilia and Wiz with distress. "Silence, you exist only to give me great pleasure and new army." Yelled Volk as he took out his whip and hit Emilia and Wiz.

Meanwhile, in sky near Volk country, Garfield was blasting through on his plane when army of thousands of fighter jets appeared, all of them manned by Volk's childen, and on the biggest, evilest jet was the leader of Volk air army, General Winter who was evil wench that was Volk's wife. "You cannot pass us Garfield, we will blow you out of sky with great force and destruction ahahahahaha" said Winters with great confidence and evils. "You are right, I will not pass you because soon you will no longer exist." Garfield's plane suddenly revealed its twenty chainguns and rocket launchers on each wing, and he begin to fire them all at the enemy with amazing speed and ferocity. Winter watches as all the planes around her are destroyed and turned into dust. "Please Garfield, spare me, I am starving woman and nobody loves me." "You are right. Not even death will love you." Quipped Garfield as he took out his custom railgun and blew hole straight through her, making her explode with red blast and tremors. He then continued on way to castle. On way, he saw foolish country of Slane Theocracy wasting time with stupidity and so he destroyed it all with bomb, allowing much better people of Sin Cult to move in.

"Lord Volk, Garfield has killed the army and Winter, and he will be here any minute." Said Felix with obedience. "That is good, my army was weak and now I can hire new one that will be stronger. I will destroy Garfield and all lasagan, mark my words. Hahahahaha" Volk began to laugh foolish with delusion that he can defeat Garfield, but he does not know what is to happen.

Somewhere else in castle, Garfield flies through wall with his Harley Davidson fusion plane, which turns into mecha that he uses to destroy the tanks and troops waiting for him. "Do not worry, I am just dropping by to wish the groom good wishes" Garfield said with ease as he crushed skulls of Volk soldier with his powerful mecha hands.

"Not so fast Garfield, it is I black swordsman Kirito, and I am mercenary employed to defeat you. En garde." Kirito took out his dual swords and went to attack Garfield when familiar cry was heard.

"AMAKOOOOOO" and suddenly Kirito's limbs were blown off like twigs. John Arbuckle appeared from ceiling with giant sniper rifle.

"It is good you appeared John Arbucle, now I can go and defeat evil Volk!"

"Garfield, please do not kill me, I am only mercenary so I can provide for my wifes Asuna and the other ones"

"I think it is time you log out of life, newbie" Garfield joked as he punched Kirito faster than light, causing him to explode into many pieces.

Garfield found that door to main throne room was fortified with many steel and strong metals, and it was enchanted, but it could not resist American spirit, which Garfield uses to destroy it with great power.

"Garfield, our hero" said Emilis and Wiz as Garfield entered throne room.

"Not so fast Garfield, you must fight my minion Felix first. He will seduce you even though he is man" said Volk. True to Volk word, Felix stepped out and walked towards Garfield with seduction. However, Garfield could see pain and suffering of fellow cat person, and walked over to him and uses magic hands to remove mindcontrol magic of Volk. Also, he removes Felix of curse and turns Felix into girl like she was supposed to be. "Thank you Garfield you have saved me from evil Volk. He force me to call him daddy and he actually reminded me of father who beat me a lot" said Felix with traumas.

"FOOL!" Volk raised with primal fury and uses his magic to toss Felix to the side, kncoking poor cat girl out, enraging Garfield who had just saved her. "SUCH CRIMES WILL NOT STAND WITH THE SAVIOR OF FAIR WOMEN, I, GARFIELD, WILL BRING JUSTICE UPON EVIL GODS!" said Garfield with furies. Garfield drew his lasagna blade and slash dashed at Volk, but was surprised when his sword was blocked with suddenness by pitch black blood blade. "You did not know that I possess the ultimate sword that is capable of cutting dimensions, and it is formed from all the fury of the world. Now die, weakling." Volk's sword let out great energy burst flinging Garfield across room into wall. Just as all was lost, red haired man fell from ceiling and throw something at Garfield. Garfield, with laser precision and faster than light reflexes, knew what it was. However, he was too damaged to use it. Suddenly.

"Garfield, I love you more than creep Subaru, do it for peoples of america" "...u-um... I don't know you that well, but I know you would treat me nice, even if I am a lich" Emilia and Wis prayed together along with all peoples of america and their prayers and hopes flowed into Garfield, powering him to god levels beyond any dragon lord(Dragon lords are not impressive in first place despite commons belief) or god.

"I am the pasta of my lasagna. Meat is my body and sauce is my blood. I have eaten over a thousand lasagnas

Unknown to starving, nor known to fullness

Have withstood pain to save the world many times

Yet, those hands will always have an enemy

So, as I pray, Unlimited Lasagna Works"

Suddenly Volk and Garfield were inside field made of lasagna-shaped rocks and pasta gears, and many swords of the past. Infinite number of dragon sword reid suddenly appeared, and flew at Volk. "NO, THIS CANNOT BE, I AM THE DEVILGOD VOLK VIN HELLSIIIIIIIIIIN-" Sword was thrust deep into Volk's mouth, shutting him up for good as Garfield remarked

"You are only god of being shit." Garfield snapped fingers and suddenly Volk exploded into giant explosion of energy and dragon power, vaporizing him instantly.

Now out of Lasgna Works world, Garfield watched as dragon sword Reid began to crumble away because its powers were not strong enough for god like Garfield. "Farewell, sword Reid…." said Garfield with respects. He then began to play all-american guitar solo with Reinhard and John Arbuckle joining in.

"We are real American,

fight for right of Lugnican

We are real American

Fight for what is right, fight for potential wives"

Garfield then walked over to free Wiz, Emilia and Felix, and togethey they walked off for great love and romance, with Reinhard and Jon Arbuckle striking up quick friendship. Everything was good in world and dreams of freedom and american peoples was saved again.

The end.

TO BE CONTINUED?