Um hey guys! I decided that it was time to write an Avengers story. I may change the rating since I plan on adding smut. This is a Blackhawk story so I guess its cannon? Would somebody please tell me if it is or not? Thanks!
Disclaimer: I cannot possibly own the Avengers, because it is owned by Marvel, therefore this is pointless.
Tony POV
You know what I hate? I hate when I try to be nice to someone, and they get mad at me. I mean seriously! For instance, just a few minutes ago I decided to be my fabulous self and make Natasha coffee. She and the rest of the Avengers are currently up in Stark towers and are bored out our minds. So I spent 15 minutes making a perfect cup of coffee and when I handed it to her she proceeded to flip it out of my hand and smash it to the ground. Thank you Natasha, now I need a new $1000.00 suit from my grandmother. Oh wait my grandmother is dead! So anyways, here I am "pouting" as she put it. Well she said it like this:
"Stark! I hate coffee! Ugh! Why can't you do anything right?!" So I said:
"Someones PMSing. Is it that time of the month?"
I know bad idea but I couldn't help it. Then she glared at me and kicked me in the balls. So I started crying. And praying that I could still have children. She told me to stop pouting like a baby and be a man. Well, thanks to you Natasha I don't know if thats possible.
I have been on the couch laying down for the last half an you with an ice pack where no ice pack should ever be.
I hear footsteps and crane my head to see who it is. I reflexively cover my crotch and hear a chuckle come from the other side of the room. Its Hawkeye. Now I feel ridiculous.
"Hey Legolas. Do you know whats up with Spidey? She injured me severely, and I don't think I will be able to do um certain 'things' with Pepper if its not fixed soon."
"Well, I certainly see your problem. Tip: Wear a cup when your around Natasha. It comes in handy." I groan. As I try to get up I get a sharp pain in- well you know where. Clint laughs.
"Wow, she really got ya didn't she? Don't worry you'll get used to it." I groan again. I decide to change the topic. "So, how are things with you a Ms. Cobwebs going? You and her are pretty tight right?" I cross my fingers for effect.
"Things are great, I guess. Same as always. She's got my back I got hers. She's the best friend I-" "No, no. Not that. I mean how are things going? As in, are things getting more progressive? Are you getting a little action from the Widow? Eh, eh?" Clint looks at me with one eyebrow raised.
"Now what exactly makes you think that things are like that between myself and Natasha?"
I shrug my shoulders. "I have a feeling. Your the only one she opens up to. Maybe theres a dirty little secret behind that?" He rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath.
"Hey Stark? You might want to keep that ice on a little longer." I look at him. "What? Why?" Note to self: Don't ever get under a Legolas' skin or else you might get kneed in a place that has already been damaged once. Severly. "Ow.. Mommy?" I wheeze and then I blacked out.
I have just edited this chapter thanks to Bookdancer and I will edit more if I need to. Please review and favorite!