Fourth Opinion
Alright, class, open yer "Fantastic
Beasts" book to Runespoors.
Original story material is the property of the fanfic author; other materialof Rowling et al. falls under the usual disclaimer.
"Escape would be ssso nice," said Dreamer.
"Dream on, fool," hissed Critic.. "He won't let us free, you know. We're much too dangerousss."
"Oh, it will not be impossible to escape our plight," observed Planner. "I can sssee a way."
The Runespoor slid around its cage, frustrated, its three heads arguing about its captivity; Planner, Dreamer and Critic had already tired of the current diet of dead field mice. Fresh meat, fresh blood would be thrilling, and a seven-foot-long jungle-bred snake can accommodate such a wide range of dining pleasure.
Critic, in fact, thought killing the other two heads would be very satisfying -- although once in a while they came up with a decent idea. He wasn't really sure if they would simply let him bite them one by one without retaliation.. and since they shared a common body, would his venom kill himself as well? He hesitated to try.
Likewise, Planner and Dreamer occasionally whispered conspiratorial thoughts of biting Critic and being done with him, but they had to concede that he occasionally kept them from doing something foolish. There was always time once they were back in the wild; Dreamer dreamt of it, and Planner planned. They could not swallow him, of course; they had no way to gnaw, and could only swallow their food whole, end to end. Perhaps it would be wise to wait until they were out of this situation, then reconsider their options.
Their huge semi-human captor would be no serious problem. He brought their miserable food, and did all but pet them! If he was ever so naive as to let down his guard, they'd have him in an instant. Three bites at once, a huge dose of venom, and he'd be out of the way -- but he must not lock the cage and die! They sneered at him, but all he'd say was "Ah, ya great slimy beast, eat yer dinner now. Ye're growin' boys and need yer food."
The slow-moving canine he called Fang would be an easy target as well, and might even be small enough to eat. They had debated which head would be best for the long process of swallowing him -- considering what trouble the other two heads might get into while the third could have nothing to say about it. They couldn't possibly drag Fang into the forest, and people were constantly coming and going from this shed all day; they'd be discovered while they were vulnerable. If it were well-timed, though.. after dark, maybe.
Meanwhile, other available entrees came close to the cage, and the heads looked them over while the captor talked to them.
"Once the Runespoor isss free, we will never go hungry," slavered Dreamer.
"We will be in the bushes, in their midssst, and enjoy a full meal every few days," drooled Planner.
"Put aside your wandering hunger," warned Critic. "You two both dream and plan beyond the walls of the cage that ssstill encloses us. How will you get us outside?"
"The humansss protect each other," said Planner. "If one were injured, they would forget everything else to tend the victim."
"Ssso what?"
"The big one they call Hagrid mussst open the cage to allow a young one to feed us a mouse at the training. He has done so twice, and now, more young are gathering here to see us eat. This time, we will be ready."
"And your plan isss...?"
"Ssstrike!" thrilled Dreamer. "Bite the young one. Eat!"
"Not eat," tempered Planner. "Not yet. But yesss... bite! The young one will be endangered, and the big one will be distracted to help... perhaps, enough to not fasten the lock on our cage. They will all be distracted. None of them will come close."
"Ssso delicious it would be..." thought Dreamer.
"First we esscape... and then our future is ensured." Planner continued to keep the students in sight as the last of them convened around the cage. "He talks about us. Soon he will unlock."
"Yesss," agreed Critic for once, and prepared to launch his head with the others.
"Now the young one hasss the mouse. And now it will put its paw near. All of us strike together, and at least one of us should succeed."
The young one paused with the mouse tail in his hand, and spoke to his companions. "Keep a wand at the ready."
"Ignore him," sniffed Planner. "He goes through the motions of caution, but we're faster than he can imagine. Freedom and fresh food will be ours shortly. Come to usss, foolishly brave young one!"
"Hagrid, this creature wants to distractus by biting me, so it can escape the cage. Watch it like a hawk."
"He hears usss!" moaned Critic. "Our escape is doomed!"
"How? How could he know our sssecret?" wailed Dreamer.
"Eat carrion, ssslitherers," hissed Harry, tossing in the mouse and firmly locking the cage.