Author's Note: So, this is weird. I'm warning you right now, this is probably not going to make any sense. Like at all.
But Mello's got Mono.
If any of you have ever had mono (I have… ehh..) you know it's at least two weeks of minimal consciousness and a ton of medicine.
When I had it I had crazy dreams. Like off the wall, ridiculous, unbelievable dreams. My family said I talked in my sleep (which I do normally) and they got a pretty good idea what I was dreaming about because I wouldn't shut up.
So..this is Mello. Doing that.
This dream is based on Dr. Seuss books. Because that's logical. Also the format refuses to double space between stanzas...sorry about that.
Enjoy?
'Twas half-past twinkle time, near the hour of two, when the Blonde Haired Brat began to 'achoo!'.
The Rogerbeast forced him to nap for a bit,
to rid him of fever and sneezes and ick.
But when the Brat awoke, he was surely surprised- the world had changed since he'd last closed his eyes!
Gone was his bed, the quilts and the sheets, instead replaced with grasses and bleats-
of the Gruntigrump Goat, that chewed tizong fruit
from the low hanging branches of the pixipan shoots.
"Where the fuck am I?" he asked, with a most profane mouth.
And he looked all around with a frown and a pout.
Then came his answer, in the form of a shout:
"Well an attitude like that won't figure it out!"
The Blonde Haired Brat jumped, and looked at the man
who came to swiftly, suddenly, before him stand.
"Matt?" asked the Brat
"Yes, my name is Matt!"
Exclaimed the man they called the Matt in the Hat.
"I know who you are, dumbass." Said the Brat with a huff.
The Matt in the Hat smiled. "Don't be so rough!
"You'll find out the reason you're here soon enough."
The Blonde Haired Brat frowned. "What's going on, Matt?"
"Nice to meet you, Mello, I'm the Matt in the Hat!"
"I'd gathered as much." The Brat grumbled at Matt.
"You wanna explain where the hell we're at?"
"Poor Mello, sick and alone."
Said the Matt in the Hat to the Blonde Haired Brat.
"Tossing in bed with a sweat and a moan.
But how many moans can a lone Mello groan,
before his redheaded roommate makes his babblings known?"
"So this is all in my head?" Asked the Brat with a look.
"Precisely!" Said Matt. "This world is a story book
that you're dreaming from all that medicine you took!"
"So how do I make it stop?" Asked the Brat. He was desperate now.
"You can't make it stop until you've learned how."
"How do I learn?" The Brat was becoming upset.
"Tell me where to find the reset."
The Matt in the Hat danced with glee.
"To figure that out, you must follow me!"
And he bounced to the left,
and bounced to the right,
bounced up a hill,
and bounced out of sight.
"Oh fuck this." Said the Brat, and took off up the hill.
"If he says to follow him, then I guess I will."
He followed the path laid into the grass
He walked and he walked all over the pass
He slipped on the Frozen River
and busted his ass.
Til finally he saw the Matt up ahead,
having a picnic of rye cake and bread.
"So you finally caught up!" Called the picnicking boy
and he spilled lemonade when he jumped up with joy
to run to greet the Blonde Haired Brat
that stomped toward the place he'd sat.
"Don't run off again!" He barked at the Matt in the Hat.
"How am I supposed to find you if you keep doing that?"
"But while I was gone, I figured it out!"
The Matt in the Hat told him with a shout.
"To leave this world of nonsense and cheer,
you must promise from now on to be nicer….
to Near!"
"…..The fuck?" The Brat asked with a brow raised over his eye.
"Be nice to that runt? I'd rather die."
"You should be nicer to Near for the rest of the year.
Nothing you say should ever bring tears!"
"He's a baby anyway for crying so much.
He'll break out into tears without even a touch."
"Would you be nicer to him if I gave you a pie?" Asked the Matt in the Hat.
"In what world would that even be relevant?" Replied a surly faced Brat.
"This pie is special.
This pie is great.
This pie can turn the course of fate.
This pie is thick.
This pie is pink.
This pie will make you stop and think.
This pie is yesterday.
This pie is tomorrow.
This pie is here for you to borrow."
"I don't care about the pie." Said the Blonde Haired Brat.
And he slapped the pie away from the Matt in the Hat.
"I don't like this, I don't want to be here.
And I sure as HELL won't be nice to Near."
"Would you be nice if I showed how to dance?"
"I wouldn't be nice if you put me in a trance."
"Would you be nice if I sang you a song?"
"I wouldn't even try to sing along."
"Would you be nice if I tied your shoe?"
"I won't be nice no matter what you do."
"I know a being that will teach you to be kind.
He'll make you smile, he'll open your mind.
All that we have to do now is find
The Tree of Kindness, so don't fall behind!"
Then the Matt in the Hat bounded away
again over the horizon of the now-dimming day.
The Brat jogged to catch up, then tried and tried,
To stay by the Matt in the Hat's side.
The Tree of Kindness lived in an orchard of trees
Home to chipmunkzees and buzzumblebees,
peek-a-burrows and busybroobles,
cancan-canoodles and elemenopoodles.
And the Matt in the Hat and the Blonde Haired Brat
Looked up in awe and the great tree, that,
with a flick of his wrists and an echoing "Scat!"
Sent hundreds of birds flying this way and that.
"The Tree of Kindness!" said the Matt with a smile
He ran to hug the Tree's roots for a while.
"This is my friend Mello, he's really unkind.
We were hoping that you could change his mind."
"I'm the Tree of Kindness!" Boomed the tree of a man.
"If I can't make him kind, nobody can."
From his place on the ground, the Brat could see
The face of the giant man with the body of a tree.
"Holy shit!" Said the Brat. "Matt, why didn't you tell?
Why didn't you say that this Kind Tree was L?!"
"Names are just names." Said the Tree with a grin.
"I'm the Tree of Kindness in this world we're in.
Now about your friend Near; Matt tells me you're rude
to the small little boy, always ruin his mood.
Look up, Brat, Look up and see.
You have your whole life looked up to me.
And even in the form of a Tree I know that
You'll follow my guidance, Blonde Haired Brat.
So when you wake up I want to go
into the room of Near your old foe
and give him a hug and apologize
for your history of bringing tears to his eyes."
The Blonde Haired Brat wasn't pleased
He didn't want to listen to a tree.
But L was his boss, even in this
So he stomped his foot and he clenched his fist
and said "Fine…" with defeat that wasn't missed.
Then the Tree of Kindness waved his hand goodbye
Reminding the Brat to give kindness a try.
Mello woke up in his bed, the light from a bedside lamp blinding him. The main light was shut off. Apparently it was nighttime in England. Matt loomed over him like a bug, peering through his goggles at Mello's face.
"You're up." He said softly.
"I…yes. I am." Mello sputtered. His voice was cracking and his throat hurt. He tried to sit up in the bed but the movement sent his mind reeling.
"Easy dude." his roommate cautioned. "You've been out for hours. You're gonna get dizzy."
"Already there." Mello groaned, laying back on the pillows.
"Roger told me to watch you to make sure you didn't catch fever again."
"You've been here this entire time?" Mello asked incredulously. He knew he talked in his sleep.
Matt smiled deviously. "Yes I have, Blonde Haired Brat."
Mello frowned before sickness took over him and he closed his eyes again, falling back to sleep.
Author's Note:
That was freaking hard to write. I read SO many Dr. Seuss books to get the alliterations and whatnot right. And all the rhymes…the hideous rhymes…
Please.
Review.
Make all of this suffering over this chapter worth it.
Let me know what you thought? Haha.