Notes: In the name of comedy (or what I hope is comedy) I have written our beloved Kimberly as a bit of an airhead. I sincerely apologize to anyone this may offend, especially Amy Jo Johnson. But rest assured I do adore the original pink ranger just like everyone else. Second, I couldn't remember Andros having a last name, so Ashley is Ashley Hammond still. Also, I am very aware that Skyla died, but I couldn't leave Shane out, that wouldn't be nice. Last but not least, in this particular fic, I acknowledge both Jack and Sky as red rangers, and so Ally and Syd both appear. Without further ado, Red Ranger's Girl.
Red Ranger's Girl
"Is anyone else bored of waiting behind here?" Sydney Tate wondered loudly. Behind her, Kimberly Oliver nodded vigorously, but a menacing sort of glare from Kira Ford-McKnight stopped the pink morphin ranger.
"Ooh, is that her?" questioned Ashley, pointing to the first figure that all the women hiding behind the bush on the Hartford Manor grounds had seen in the hours they had been waiting.
It was Ronny Robinson, and this was not who they'd been waiting for. "Don't be silly," chirped Katherine Scott. "That's a yellow ranger."
"Hey," chorused Aisha DeSantos, Ashley Hammond, Taylor Meyers, and Kira Ford-McKnight. "There is nothing wrong with being a yellow ranger."
"Regardless of the color," Kendrix Corbett began, "That isn't her. We're looking for Rose Ortiz. She's pretty petite, I think."
"Kendrix is right," Jen Collins murmured. "I've read all about the brilliant pink Overdrive ranger in the time logs. She was an amazing ranger…for her time, anyway."
"But more importantly," declared Alyssa Evans, "Is that she's one of us. She's a red ranger's girl. We're an exclusive club, don't you know."
Taylor Meyers glared at her fellow ex-Wild Force ranger. "You sound like a complete moron, Alyssa. I think Jungle Boy has been rubbing off on you, and not in a good way."
Alyssa frowned at Taylor. "At least Cole has a heart," shot back the white ranger. "Eric is always grumpy and brooding. I can't understand how you ended up with him."
"What you don't understand would fill several books," mumbled Kira. Cassie and Ashley laughed at Kira's joke.
Skyla and Ally glanced at each other. "Must be a ranger thing," said Mrs. Allison Landors. Skyla nodded.
Madison plopped down onto the grass. "Explain to me why we can't just go find Rose?"
Dana Grayson, who until then hadn't talked much, joined the blue ranger. "Because, Madison, newbies always don't believe us at first. But then…you had a reason…we kind of kidnapped you…"
"Be quiet, Dana," snapped Syd. "We can't let anyone hear us."
While all these discussions had been going on, Rose Ortiz, Overdrive's pink ranger, had wandered out to the grounds with a book of Robert Frost's poetry in her hands. She spread out the pink flannel blanket she'd had draped over her arm and settled herself in on it.
"She's smart," Kendrix said approvingly. "It's about time we had another intelligent pink ranger."
"Let's go already," said Kira. "I have this feeling that Conner's probably broken something with his soccer ball."
And just like that, the fifteen women tumbled out from behind the large hedge and approached Rose.
"Hi!" exclaimed Alyssa enthusiastically.
Rose jumped and looked up at all of the others. "Who are you and what are you doing on Mr. Hartford's property?" she demanded. One hand gripped her Overdrive Tracker.
"She calls her red ranger Mr. Hartford?" Kim asked, examining her bright pink fingernails. "That is like, so weird."
"No you birdbrain," snapped Jen. "Mr. Hartford is Andrew Hartford, the Overdrive rangers' mentor. Her red ranger is Mack. God, you have no activity going on in your head."
"So sue me," retorted Kimberly. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the time ship this morning."
"Well, at least Tommy turned out to have a semi-functioning brain under all that hair of his. Wes has one, too, I suppose, but he's too cheerful to use it. Do you know what it's like to have a husband who is constantly sugar-high, despite the fact that he's twenty-seven years old and should know better?"
Rose let go of her Overdrive Tracker and scrambled into a standing position. "Tommy and Wes? Those old, washed up red rangers?"
"Wes isn't washed up," replied Jen. "He's the first red ranger at SPD. Tommy is the only one stupid enough to keep running around in multicolored spandex until he's ninety."
"Good Lord," mumbled Kira. "Can't we just tell her what she needs to know and get out of here already? Syd and Ally need to get back to 2027 by two, and it's already one p.m.
"OK, OK," Kat said. "Relax already."
Rose was glancing around at each of the others in turn. "What exactly is going on here? I'm confused."
Madison smiled at the pink Overdrive ranger. "You're one of us now, Rose. A red ranger's girl."
Rose's jaw dropped. "I am not anybody's girl. Especially not Mack's. I don't know what you're smoking, but it's definitely strong. Way too strong."
Sydney shook her head. "We're not smoking anything, sweetie. We're all just like you: involved with those hot guys who like to run around in red spandex saving people."
"I'm not involved with Mack!" Rose shouted.
"Why are you complaining? I've seen your guy. He's pretty hot. I mean, those eyes of his are so blue that they're almost turquoise. And he's not obsessed with soccer. You've got it made," Kira chimed in.
"I do not have anything made," protested Rose. "I'm not in love with Mack, alright? So just go back to wherever it is you came from and leave me alone!"
"I remember when I was that naïve," said Ashley dreamily. "I thought you guys were on something, but now I'm glad that I listened." Dana and Kendrix nodded their agreement.
Rose frowned. "I'm not naïve. Nor am I Mack's girl, or anyone else's, OK?"
Sydney ignored this. "Anyway," she stated loudly. "There are a few basic things that any red ranger's girl should know."
"Red rangers are always stubborn," said Ally. "And foolish."
"And, like, usually, like, kinda dumb," piped up Kimberly. Jen groaned at this.
"They're always hungry," offered Aisha. The others stared at her. "It's true!" she defended herself. "Or, at least, Rocky is always hungry."
"Bossy," remarked Dana thoughtfully.
"As red ranger's girl, you must always be faithfully at your man's side, ready to comfort and give a pep talk," Maddie advised.
"In my case, to remind him to bathe and cut his hair," said Alyssa.
Syd ignored this as well, "And there will come a time when you must play the proverbial damsel in distress. You must scream for him to save you, or at the very least look completely terrified of the alien who killed his father."
"But," Rose said, "Mr. Hartford is alive. He's in the mansion right now."
"No buts!" Kira shouted. "When your last ranger arrives, you must also pretend to be interested in him. It will drive the red ranger insane with jealousy."
Madison shuddered lightly. "Daggeron still gives me the creeps."
"And all this…damsel in distress nonsense and trying to make him jealous is a good thing?" questioned Rose.
"It is not nonsense!" squawked Cassie Johnson.
"It is the code by which we live, Rose," Kendrix said gravely. "If we can all meet these ridiculous standards, then so can you."
"I'm a solo act," said the pink Overdrive ranger. "Mack is nice and all-"
"And hot," squealed Syd.
"Sure, he may be hot…but that's not the point!"
Madison smiled. "I think we're getting through to her."
Rose was now very red in the face from all the yelling. "OK, OK. If I just agree to your silly code or whatever it is and pretend to be interested in Mack-"
"Trust me, you'll end up interested," Kira said flatly. "It's just not worth fighting the attraction; he'll have a great smile and hair that falls into his eyes exactly the right way…" the yellow ranger's voice trailed off and her expression became dreamy.
"Alright, whatever," Rose replied when she realized what Kira had said was true. "I accept. Can I just get some reading done now?"
The SPD pink ranger beamed at her sister in color. "Rose Ortiz, you are now officially one of us." With a flourish, Syd whipped out what appeared to be a pink business card. Rose took it, and then the others were gone- vanished into thin air. Rose read the card.
Mackenzie Hartford and Rose Ortiz
Overdrive Red Ranger and his girl
Rose laughed. Mackenzie.