A/N: Okay, brand new start, brand new things… This story is sorta inspired by the great cookie eating writer Symmetrical Just of the record, I don't own squat… not even my car, so same thing kinda applies for The Titans.

Chapter one: Just leave

Beep!

Beep!

Beep!

My eyes shot open.

A white ceiling…

…

…

… How original.

Laying straight in my bed, I slowly turned my head over toward the annoying alarm clock beeping in my face. My night lamp was still on, and it illuminated its light over the entire room exposing to my sight the color of my walls, my bedside table, the picture that always remained turned over, my mask, and that screaming clock… the clock that flashed me, with painful realization.

3:00AM

"I'm up," I grumbled, slamming my ungloved fist down on the loud thing, before pulling myself up into a sitting position. I stared at the white walls as they glared back at me.

'I think more color to your room for the bed would be wonderous to your emotions!' A red head sat on the edge of my bed, her arms crossed over her chest.

Her breathtaking eyes were permanently burned into my memory. Just the thought of her voice, still to this day, left a faint ringing in my ears.

'How so?' I sat at my desk, completely forgetting my paperwork on the Cinderblock break in. All I saw was her.

I remember that I had chuckled at what she said. Her mere statement said so much about her. She was so ready to be helpful, so happy to be talked to.

'Well, I observed from a very educational documentary on the TLC channel that it is nearly impossible to be unhappy when you have vibrant colors surrounding you.' A grateful smile started from her eyes and ended up on me.

'Really now?'

I still kept that dumb smile on my face… every time she came to mind, it was always there. My only happiness.

'Affirmative, why do you think friend Raven is so unhappy? Black is seriously lacking in the vibrant department.' She giggled, lightly.

Yet, aside from my own pathetic joy and happiness, nothing compared to her. She was happy looking; even in serious times… she always seemed to hold all the hope in the world.

'Okay, Star, you've convinced me. I'll change the color of my room.'

Unfortunately for me, I had to find out how false that hope really was.

"Looks like I lied about that too," I mumbled at the memory, before rubbing my hand over my face. It's not like it never crossed my mind to re-paint my room, to stray from all the formalities, and actually do something different. Heck, I even almost considered making it a team effort to change my bedroom around… but, like so many other different things, that never happened.

Swiping the sheets off of me, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed in one quick motion.

Silently, I made my way to my bathroom.

If I ever once thought my bedroom was bad, my bathroom had nearly crossed insane obsession and was barely stepping over mentally ill… it was just as white, just as boring… but five times cleaner.

I shed my boxers.

As funny as it may seem, having boxers with my own face on it… or maybe they just call that conceded? Whatever the term they use, I smirked at the drawing of my childish face… turning back to the mirror, I made a silent comparison.

Running my hand though my long locks, no longer spiky, but now reaching to my mid-back, I saw the years on my skin as if they were large pimples sticking out on my face. I was more masculine, more mature, more… older. Ten years does a lot to a person.

Scoffing at that thought, I twisted the knobs of the shower. Hot water came pouring through the shower head, steam already rising from the obviously scorching water. You know, the kind that leaves you breathless and sweating after you've only been in for a few minutes, all the while you're as red as a lobster? I smirked at the thought. Perfect.

Stepping in, I held my breath as the stinging feeling drenched my naturally tanned skin. The near boiling water cascaded across my muscles, which were tense and pained, probably from stress… oh well.

I stood there as I counted the seconds it took for my skin to finally accept the hot water. The stinging slowly ceased, and I was left hot and red. Grabbing the shampoo up swiftly, I poured it directly into my hair, not even bothering to see how much it was.

Lathering it up, my memories went straight back to the past.

'Raven?'

I always shuddered when I talked to her. For some reason, she always seemed to have that effect on anybody she ever encountered. She was so mysterious, but so familiar all at once.

Raven was standing at the sink in the kitchen, her hood over her head as she just stared. I remember I couldn't see her face, just her back.

'Raven? You okay?' I asked, concerned.

'Swell,' She managed through clenched teeth.

'Wat is it?' I asked.

She sighed, turning around silently, exposing chocolate frosting all over her face and hair.

I suppressed the urge to laugh.

'Help me get this off. Now.' She nodded to the shampoo on the counter.

No matter how big I ever acted, how intimidating I was always known to be. Raven's tone when she was mad, had always scared me to speechless and obeying… Heck, it was like that with just about everyone she snapped at.

I nodded shortly, grabbing the bottle as she watched me intently. I turned on the water on in the sink, turning it to a warm setting.

'Thank you,' She whispered.

I let shock run over my face for just a split second before returning to my concentrated expression. I'm still convinced to this day that she saw it.

'I was trying to make a cake for Beastboy tonight. I figured a cake would be a good birthday present, you know?' She explained ducking her head under the water.

Instead of hiding the shock that time, I let it flaunt the fact I was freaked out. But soon after, I raised an eyebrow her way.

In case, no one ever paid attention, Raven never was never really the one to express anything outside of single syllable insults, unless you were special enough to have an actual sentence snapped your way. Raven was dark… cold… expressionless, yet I was graced with a confession…

The strangeness still taunts my mind…

'Don't look at me like that,' she muttered as I began pouring the shampoo onto her hair, not even checking how much I had used, "He deserves one."

'Yeah. He does.' I rinsed her jet black hair off and pulled out a dish towel.

She accepted it and dried it off quickly.

'You clean up well.' I muttered.

'I got most of it cleaned off from the kitchen… my hair was the hard part…' She mumbled, 'I didn't want to make the sink a mess.'

She brought her hands into view to show they too were covered.

'And since when did you become a messy person?' I asked slightly amused.

She turned to the sink and looked at me expectantly.

I turned on the water.

'I'm not.' She grumbled, pushing her hands under the water, 'I was thinking, and I let it get to me. Stupid. Careless. It will not happen again.'

Dull… ever so dull. And yet, I was interested.

'…'

I said I was interested I never expected an answer. Raven was never one for saying her feelings out loud.

I love him, Robin.

When a strangers voice invades your mind… your thoughts. You tend to feel very… vulnerable. That feeling never leaves your memory. And sure, she may have done that many times before, but it always feels like the first time… every time.

I shuddered in the shower involuntarily.

'Wha-' I turned to her in shock.

'You heard me,' she sighed drying her hands, 'Say a word and I'll show you what hell really is like.'

'…' I was lost for words for a while. It's funny… suddenly, at that moment, I didn't feel like the infamous Boy Wonder. I felt like the timid, and young Tim Drake… helpless.

'I have for a while.' She shook her head, 'I just didn't admit it to myself until now.'

'Why?' I asked… she knew what I meant.

'I can't tell anyone else,' Raven closed her eyes as she rested against the counter, 'Cyborg means well, he'll always be there for any of us and I trust him with my life, but I don't trust him to keep his mouth shut.'

I remember I had nodded to that. Good ol' Cyborg.

'Starfire… well… obvious reasons there. She's kinda the touchy feely type." She hummed to herself, "Besides, she's got her own problems.'

I had caught that, by the way. I had questioned it then, but I know now.

'Don't say anything,' Raven opened her eyes, 'We both know why it has to just stay as it is…'

I nodded again.

'For being a major one on trust it's kind of hypocritical really… I don't trust myself,' She admitted before turning toward the elevator, 'Pull the cake out of the fridge in twenty minutes.'

With that she left.

I shook my head; long black locks tumbled down my shoulders. I turned the dials as the water flow stopped. Yanking the towel from the rack, dried off and wrapped it around me.

I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, put my boxers where they go, and made my way to my closet.

Black! Not one spot of yellow or red held up any of my closet anymore… no green.

'Man, do you ever have any free time?' Beastboy chuckled, sitting on the couch.

'What are you talking about, Beastboy?'

Was I really all that stuck up?

'Sure, you play games with us and act like a teen outside of the whole hero act, and until recently I realized you do know the definition of a vacation, but I mean, lately you've been on edge.'

'I don't know what you're getting at Beastboy.'

'Star likes you a lot, Dude.' Beastboy looked serious, as rare as that was, 'And after that Tokyo trip… well…All I'm saying is, don't ruin this sweet chance, or trust me, you'll never get her back.'

I still know to this day, what he meant… who, even in solitude, still held his heart.

Was I really all that blind?

'Hey, Rob!'

Cyborg chuckled as I flustered, trying to stand up, only just to slip and fall again.

'Remind me who's brilliant idea it was to go ice skating?' I grumbled at the metal man.

'Seriously, Man, I figured you out of all of us would have the least trouble with this.' He chuckled loudly.

'Right!' I growled finally standing, 'I got it.'

'He HEE!!!' I suddenly felt arms wrap around my waist.

'Wha- Starfire!' I yelled, 'You're gonna make us fall.'

'Don't worry, Robin. I will not ever let you fall.' She smiled, as she whispered into my ear.

Was I really ever unsure with what wonderful things I had?

Five minutes later, I was thoroughly clean, thoroughly dressed and all that was needed left was my one thing that has stayed with me faithfully all these years… my mask.

"You say you do not hide anything from me, Robin. But you do! It is right on your face!"

"Starfire," I mumbled to myself, sadly.

"We all have our pasts, Robin. How we hide them is up to us."

"Raven."

"Dude, the only mystery here is Robin's eyes. I bet you ten bucks they're green! All cool and mysterious things are green! Just check me out!"

"Beastboy."

"Man, get over yourself and just admit you're stinking human. Do you know some of us can never get that back?!"

"Cyborg."

Was I really so clueless that I didn't even realize it was all falling apart?

"Teen Titans…" I mumbled, placing the mask over my eyes, "Go."