Bucky, Deacon, and I are at a rehearsal talking about the new stage set up for our new/old tour. Smaller venues, and Deacon and I doing an intimate set. Basically, just the two of us pouring our hearts out to one another but now that part is different. The idea of us going back to where we started, singing love songs night after night scares me but I don't have a choice. I have to do this for my family, and I have to figure out a way to control how I feel. I think that is what scares me the most, not being able to. Our songs hold so many emotions and by singing them it brings them all back up. After all of this time, I have a feeling those emotions will be even stronger. Deacon and I have balanced a relationship and sometimes we tip toe extremely close to crossing the lines I set. Singing those songs again might be what pushes me to do something I can't take back. Bucky is talking to us with Deacon and I on one side. My back is gently pressed up against Deacon's chest.

"This side or this side. Whatever you feel more comfortable with."
"I never doubted you, not for a second."
A young man walks in the side door carrying a guitar case asking for Deacon.
"Is Deacon Claybourne here?"
"Right here."
"How are you sir? Juliette Barnes asked me to deliver this to you."
He sets a case with a giant red bow on top of it, in front of us. After he sets it down I distance myself from Deacon slightly.
"Providence and insurance papers are there in the case. You want to get that on your policy for no less than $50,000 as soon as possible. It's nice to meet you."

As he walks out I feel my blood pressure rise and the veins in my neck start to pop out. Why in the hell is Juliette giving Deacon a $50,000 guitar? Seriously who does this girl think she is! All three of us stood there looking at the damn thing and Bucky could tell I was about to lose it.

"What…the hell…is that?"
Deacon doesn't say anything at first. I glared at Bucky and he fumbles to fold the layout of the venue.
"I'm gonna let you two talk. Ughh Rayna I'll call you later."
He rushed out of the room. I positioned myself to the other side of the stacked cases. I put my hands on my hip waiting for him to say something, anything!
"Sometimes a guitar is just a guitar."
"Is it just a guitar?"
"Yeah."
"Is it just a $50,000 guitar? It's not a bribe for you to go do Juliette Barnes' tour?"
"I don't know what she's thinkin'. Alright!"
"I don't know what you're thinkin' doin' all this!"
"Doin' what?"
"While our tour is hangin' by a thread."
"She wanted to write a song. We wrote a song. That's it! I don't know what the big deal is?"
"You don't know what the big deal is? How about the big deal is we gotta do a show we haven't done in a decade and a half."
"I know that!"
"I need you here. Workin' on our tour, on our songs!"
"Hey Ray! I'm here right now! I'm workin'!"
"You're…You're not! You're out swatting around with Ms. Sparkly Pants! And I'm here, trying to figure out if we can even do these songs without completely humiliating ourselves."
"What are you even talkin' about! These songs! I play these songs! Every third Thursday at the Bluebird. I'm there, playin' our songs! You'd know that if you'd been once in the last ten years!"
"Don't you dare try to act like I haven't been there for you!"
He's quiet for a moment licking his lips and looking down at the ground.
"You wonna see what it looks like, me not bein' there for you!"
I grab my bag and strut towards the door.
"What's it look like?"
"This is what it looks like!"

I stormed out of that room and let the door slam shut behind me. I threw my purse onto the floor and ran both of my hands threw my hair. I could hear him saying, "If I wanted to fight like this I'd have a damn girlfriend." Deacon and I never stopped fighting. We are two very passionate people that are stubborn with everything we do. We wouldn't be us if we didn't fight but he's never said anything like what he just did. How could he even think that I haven't been there for him. I stood beside him for eleven years. I went through four rehab failures. I spent countless nights wondering around looking for him when he missed our gigs. I got calls from hospitals, each time scared to death they were calling me to come and claim his body. I was his everything…for eleven years and he was mine! I never left his side, even his fifth stint in rehab. I paid for it and visited on family day. Once he got out I checked on him as often as I could and made Coleman tell me how he was doing. After sometime I brought him back into my band because he had ruined every other working relationship. I have always been there for him, and the fact that he thinks that I haven't…hurts more than all of the pain those eleven years hold. He doesn't know it but I have also been to see him play our songs at the Bluebird. I'm there every third Thursday. I just make sure he can't see me.