The Joke's On You: Michaelangelo
Michaelangelo turned the volume up on his Discman. Leonardo and Raphael were arguing again, except this time Master Splinter wasn't present to break them up. Oh well. Maybe after they beat the hell out of each other things would get better. For now, the nunchaku-wielding ninja would follow Donatello's lead: hole up in his room and ignore them.
Growling in uncharacteristic annoyance, Michaelangelo turned off his Discman and threw a hardened pizza crust at his door. No matter how hard he tried to drown out the noise, it was of no use. Gathering up a duffel bag filled with the necessary elements required for good practical jokes, he exited his room and headed for the sewer tunnel.
Raphael and Leonardo stopped shouting at one another long enough to notice their brother's blatant exit. "Where ya goin' Mikey?" Raphael yelled out.
"Away from you guys. You're giving me a killer headache, dudes." Michaelangelo grabbed one of the motor-powered skateboard prototypes Donatello was working on.
"Do you have your turtle-com? Or your cell phone?" Leonardo asked.
"I'm not a little kid, Leo. Of course I have them," his brother snapped. He made a hasty retreat, duffel bag and skateboard in tow. He could hear his brothers starting up again, this time fighting about him. He picked up the pace and rode the skateboard prototype to his desired destination. He made a note to tell Donatello that he considered his brother's invention most successful.
Climbing up the ladder to the street, Michaelangelo grinned as he looked up at his target: Channel Six News.
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"Stupid morons," April muttered as she entered the elevator. She pushed the button marked '11' and waited. Her boss, and his boss, were annoyed that she had dared to request almost an entire month off. The fact that she had more than enough vacation hours saved up to take at least eight weeks off should have been reason enough to take a break. But no, of course not!
With a sigh she walked down the hall to the newsroom and entered. She paused just inside the doorway and looked around the brightly lit room. Something seemed off, aside from the fact that she was the first one in today. She shook her head, banishing her weird feelings that all was not as it should be.
She headed for her office and took out her key to unlock it. Upon opening the door a giant rubber snake fell and hung suspended in the doorway. She let out a yelp of surprise and shook her head, pulling the offending toy down. A note was attached to its tail. 'Gotcha' was all it read, written in a vaguely familiar scrawl.
As more people entered their own offices sluggishly shouts and hollers of shock and expletives shook the building. April leaned against her doorframe and watched as people were drenched with water balanced precariously in buckets perched on doorsills. Others dodged miniature firecrackers that were rigged to explode when lights were turned on. One employee, and his office, got hosed down with silly string expelled from a joke fire extinguisher. April couldn't help but laugh at the comical misfortune of her fellow coworkers.
One woman, who happened to have it in for the poor reporter, noticed April's adolescent glee, so she ducked into her office and closed the door tightly. "Somebody got us good," she commented aloud. "Maybe I should have stayed home today…at least I got off easy. Sort of." She glanced around her surroundings, noticing several more rubber snakes placed in locations guaranteed to startle her had she not been paying attention. She walked over to her desk and pulled the chair out.
"Ya sure did babe. You should see what I set up for your boss!" The words were spoken from a voice to the right of her, a voice unexpected that caused her heart to feel as though it should implode. She twisted around to glare at Michaelangelo, the one person…er, turtle…she knew she could usually count on for a laugh. "I've said it once, and I'll say it again: time to switch to decaf, April." She continued to scowl, but squeezed his shoulder.
"Mikey, what are you doing here? How'd you get in? Oh man, if my boss saw you in here…" She shut her mouth abruptly as the doorknob to her office began to turn. She had a feeling her boss was on the other side. April exchanged a glance with the turtle before heading for the door. Michaelangelo was invisible in a flash, as only a true ninja could.
"Who were you talking to, O'Neil?" her boss demanded in greeting as she opened the door only wide enough so that he could see her face.
"Um, no one. I was reading my report out loud to myself. It's how I edit my papers," she replied. He pushed his way through her door and she stepped backward toward her desk, concealing the nunchakus Michaelangelo had left in plain sight. She turned around, Knocking them to the floor behind her as she shuffled through some folders.
"Do you know who, or what, may have sabotaged this place? Look at what happened to me!" her boss shouted as she moved to sit at her desk. He turned his back on her. The words 'Pizza is God' were printed on his shirt in neon orange spray paint.
April bit back a laugh and smoothed her skirt, holding dead still when her hands brushed against what felt like shell. Michaelangelo was hiding under her desk? Well that explained why his weapons hadn't made any noise when they fell. "Figures," she muttered. She noticed her manager frowning at her and she cleared her throat, having the grace to blush.
"I'm afraid I have no idea who would do anything so terrible as to destroy our place of employment. But I wasn't left out." She pointed to several of Mikey's little 'friends.' "Would you like for me to look into it? Was anyone hurt?" Her fingers gripped Michaelangelo's shell tightly beneath the desk.
"No. And I suppose it isn't necessary." He turned to leave, disgruntled, when an indignant 'Hey!' escaped from his employee's lips. "What now?"
"Um, sorry, but I…ah…I just wanted to tell you that I am taking the next three weeks off after all. I have…um, family coming into town all the way from California, and I hardly see them," she lied, squirming in her seat to try and strangle the playful turtle. "But don't worry. I'll have my work submitted before the end of the day. I just wanted to let you know." Her boss nodded, unhappy, and slammed the door closed behind him.
April waited twelve seconds before pushing her chair away and began to untie the knots Michaelangelo had created in her boot laces. He had been trying to lash her to the chair legs. Michaelangelo crawled out from his hiding spot, smiling sheepishly.
"Sorry, babe. It was just too tempting while you were getting grilled by your manager." He patted her shoulder affectionately. "Besides, I had to think of some way to get your attention. You're the best, April. Thanks for covering for me."
The reporter sighed, fixing him with a look she reserved especially for pesky turtles. "If I lose my job over you, you'll never hear the end of it. Understand?" She jabbed a finger into his chest playfully. "Don't make me regret taking time off to hang out with you guys."
"That's why you did it? It's like you read my mind! I came to ask if I could stay with you for a few days. Sewer life can be a serious bummer."
"I can imagine," she said dryly. "Of course you can stay with me. But I do have to do some actual work today. Why don't you take my keys and head over to my apartment? You can put your stuff in the loft."
Michaelangelo caught the keys she tossed to him and picked up his bag and skateboard. "The bare essentials," he announced proudly with a wink. "So when are you going to be home?"
"Probably around five," she replied and smiled. She patted his cheek. "I'm sure you'll find some way to amuse yourself. I just bought a new game system…" she trailed off.
"Cowabunga!" the teen shouted, perking up. He managed to get out of the news room and to April's apartment without anyone taking much notice.
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"Mikey, I'm home!" April shouted as she locked the door behind her. "Never thought I'd shout that out," she murmured and opened her mouth to yell again when she stopped dead in her tracks. What looked to be the beginnings of a good home-cooked meal was on the table. A salad layered with cucumbers, tomatoes, cheese, and croutons sat beside a bottle of Ranch dressing and a bread basket filled with freshly sliced baguette. On the stove two pots of something were simmering over low heat. "Mikey?" she called again. He took the stairs leading down from the loft two at a time.
"Oh, hey April. Hope you don't mind, but dinner isn't ready yet. I didn't want pizza, so I decided to cook. Is that okay? It's almost done," he promised, stirring the contents of one pot while taking the other off the stove.
She sat down in the closest chair. "You? Tired of pizza?" She laughed lightly. "I haven't had anyone cook for me in a while."
Michaelangelo prepared two plates and carried them over to April, setting one before her. "Here ya go." He sat across from her. April stared before her. To accompany the salad and bread, the ninja had prepared chicken parmigiana, crisped to near perfection and smothered with mozzarella cheese and marinara sauce over fettuccini noodles.
"This looks good, kid." He watched her take the first bite. Her smile was the epitome of bliss. "This is wonderful. Who taught you to be such a character of culinary skill?"
"Master Splinter." They ate in silence for a few moments. "I'm not all fun and games, ya know." He grimaced.
April went to the refrigerator and returned with a soda and a bottle of water. She handed the soda to her friend. "I have never thought such a thing. But it does help to have a brilliant form of comedic relief such as yourself for a friend. Everone needs to be able to enjoy a good laugh at least once in a while." She paused. "The best laughter is with friends, I think."
Michaelangelo brightened considerably at the notion. "Yeah. The guys should be lucky to have me."
"Speaking of which, how are the others doing? It's been about two weeks since I've gone to visit you guys."
"Splinter went away on a vacation to an abandoned monastery, I think; it's something like that. He left a few days ago, and he said he'll be back in a month." The teenage mutant ninja turtle looked up from his salad, clearly troubled. "It's hell, April. I hate to sound like a whiner, but Leo and Raph keep picking on me. And the worst part is that they're taking turns doing it!"
He paused as April struggled to choke back a giggle. "I'm sorry, Mikey," she gasped as she failed. "It's just the way you said they're taking turns!" She took a sip of water, regaining her composure. "What about Donatello?"
"Eh, Donnie'll say something once in a while, but he doesn't really hang out with us anymore. I'm trying to get everyone to chill out, but I'm failing miserably. Like, I keep getting yelled at." He pouted. "It isn't fair, April. I hate feeling so useless."
April reached across the table and clasped his arm. "As weird as this may sound, maybe you should just let them continue doing whatever it is they're doing."
Michaelangelo looked up. "What are you talking about? I think you've got a few loose screws, babe."
"Mikey, did you ever stop to think that they're acting like that because they're not sure how to act? I'm sure that along the way they'll all realize how silly they're being. It certainly is a new experience, isn't it?"
"What is?" The glum turtle took a bite of chicken.
"Having Splinter away of his own free will. Not kidnapped or missing because of an enemy. I remember when he would be gone without a trace and you guys would immediately jump into action to save him. Now he doesn't need saving. I think you guys need to figure out what to do with yourselves." She ate a slice of bread thoughtfully. "C'mon, when we're done eating, let's go rent some movies."
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"Aw, why not April? This movie is a classic!" Michaelangelo pleaded, holding onto the movie cover tightly. April read the title once more, then shook her head.
"I don't think so. Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman is not my idea of a good movie. Let's keep moving." They walked over to the section labeled 'Action' and April paused for half a minute before picking one. "Now this is a classic, Mikey."
Michaelangelo sighed and pulled the case out of her hands. He smirked. "Okay, you win, but only because Indiana Jones is super cool, always gets the girl, and conquers over evil."
April laughed. "Admit it, you like Harrison Ford, too."
The ninja sighed, holding onto his own movie as he handed hers back. "You drive a hard bargain as it is, babe. I don't think I should have to do any such thing." They waited in line, which moved rapidly enough. Once done with the rental procedure, they headed back to her apartment.
April grabbed onto her friend's trenchcoat as they walked by a crane machine. "Aw, Mikey, look at how cute they are!" she exclaimed, pointing to an odd assortment of stuffed animals trapped inside the plastic container.
"I'm good at those. I'll get you one," he promised and inserted a quarter into the slot. The music started up and lights began to flash. Michaelangelo watched the crane with solemn concentration. "Raph and Leo tell me that this is a wasted talent, but I think otherwise." April made a small, noncommittal sound in her throat and watched as the turtle won her the little robot-looking dog she had pointed out.
"You're the best!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him along.
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The reporter balanced a bowl of popcorn on the arm of the sofa as she situated the blanket she was sharing with the orange-wearing ninja. Michaelangelo fast-forwarded through the previews and laughed as the opening scene of Jaws commenced.
He put his arm around April, who welcomed the cuddle time, and reached absently for the popcorn bowl. She handed it over wordlessly, relieved that he had rediscovered how to laugh, even though she didn't quite understand what was so humorous about a woman being eaten alive by a man-eating Great White shark.
Near the end of the movie Michaelangelo stretched. "Man, I'm starting to feel like things are going back to normal," he commented. "Isn't that weird? I hate being all freaked out over stuff like that. It sucks." He stole the remote for the television from April. "It's also weird being the one to disappear."
"Well, Splinter will be back soon. And while I wouldn't mind having company while the both of us are on vacation, I think that your brothers would probably start to worry. You're the baby of the group whether you like it or not." She glanced sideways, eye on the remote.
The ninja stuck his tongue out at her. "I'm faster than they are though." He held the remote out of reach as she lunged for it. She sighed in defeat, jabbing him with an elbow.
"I know that. They know that. Good luck getting all of them to agree on it together." They shared a laugh.
"You were right. Laughter is better when it's shared with a friend," Michaelangelo murmured sleepily. They stayed up watching late night television until they could no longer keep their eyes open.
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Three days later April awoke to find herself in bed, confused. The last few days had seemed to blur into one, what with Michaelangelo discovering her espresso machine, resulting in the both of them being wired. When caffeinated, the comical ninja seemed to have a limitless cesspool of things to do.
Rubbing her eyes sleepily, April decided last night must have been the first real sleep she'd had in about four days. The apartment was eerily silent, she noticed absently as she tried to figure out how she got to bed. The last thing she could remember was her beginning to doze off in front of the television as Michaelangelo commented on some actress' wig. She sat up straight. 'Mikey!'
She checked the loft, but there was no sign of him or his belongings. A note was stuck to her refrigerator with a magnet. "I don't know what I'd do without ya babe. Love, Mikey." She laughed as she read it aloud and pulled on the door handle to grab the carton of orange juice. A coiled snake slashed out at her from its place on the shelf. She stifled a surprised scream, and then shook her head. "He'll pay for that one."