Love is Easy
According to Sirius Black there is nothing more easy than falling in love. But then, thought Remus, Sirius declared that he was in love three or four times a day. However Remus agreed with him to some extent, there was certainly nothing as easy as falling in love with Lily Evans.
She was the kindest person he had ever met. She saw him, through those emerald green eyes, really saw him. Aside from the other marauders, only she looked past the scruff and the scars and saw someone worth talking too, worth being friends with. But she looked at him the way that James, Sirius and Peter looked at him. Only ever as a friend.
It was strange that this thought made him smile a little. He loved James and Sirius dearly but he knew that he would always live in their shadows. They were so effortlessly brilliant. They got good grades without studying, they could make any girl at Hogwarts, and some boys, fall in love with nothing more than a cheeky wink and a wicked grin. Remus could feel eyes on him, as he walked through the corridors, accompanied by his best friends. He could feel them silently comparing him to James and Sirius and finding him to be lacking. He felt guilty admitting it, even to himself, but he was prone to jealously when it came to the other marauders and he hated himself for it. But this jealousy faded away whenever he was Lily, she praised him for trying hard in school, for doing his best to reign his friends in when their pranks began to get out of hand.
Another part of Remus, who was so devoted to his friends, was glad that she would never feel the same way. He did not think that he would be strong enough to refuse her if she showed him that she returned his affections in any way, and he would have to refuse her. Because as much as Remus loved, or thought he loved, Lily Evans he would never love her as much as he loved James, Sirius and Peter. If Remus confessed his love for Lily, James would never forgive him, he was sure of that and he could not stand to lose James. James who always stuck up for him, James who kept Remus' greatest secret, James who believed that it was the greatest dishonour to betray one's friend.
Remus was convinced that James was also in love with Lily. He was different around her, shy. Both James and Sirius would casually flirt with anything that moved but when James tried to talk to Lily he jumbled his words, tripped over his feet and blushed furiously. It was quite amusing to watch, actually. The great James Potter rendered a blithering idiot by someone as kind and approachable as Lily. Remus had often asked James what went through his mind when he was talking to Lily, although he usually reserved this question until after Sirius had fallen asleep or sneaked out of the dorm and down to the kitchens in search of a third midnight snack. His answer was always different, sometimes he mentioned her eyes, sometimes her smile. In fact James had probably described, in detail, every feature of Lily Evans' face down to the smallest freckle. For James Potter, loving Lily Evans was more than easy, it was natural, uncomplicated. Remus envied the simplicity with which James lived his life. Nothing Remus did was ever uncomplicated.
That was another reason why Remus could never be with Lily, Lily deserved better than him. Lily deserved someone that could keep her safe and Remus was the exact opposite of safe. Remus was using his school time to prepare himself, not only for the responsibilities that come with being a full qualified wizard but also for a life of prejudice and discrimination. Remus would never be able to work for the ministry, it was highly unlikely that anyone would want to hire a werewolf. Remus had never told Lily his furry little secret, he had a feeling she wouldn't mind, she would understand and accept him, flaws and all. But Remus would mind, he was not about to condemn someone so good to such a terrible life.
Lost in thought, Remus brought himself back to reality with the realization that none of this mattered because Lily did not love him, Lily would never love him. It wasn't because he was best friends with James Potter, it wasn't because he was a werewolf, it was because he was her friend. Remus considered how he would feel if James and Lily did eventually end up together and decided that this would perhaps be the best case scenario. Remus truly believed that he would always love Lily, but he knew that for now and for always he was content to be one of her friends. After all, Remus of all people could appreciate that there was no such thing as "only friends", it was his friends had saved him from loneliness and a deep depression that still threatened to consume him as he lay in the hospital wing, aching after each transformation and covered in deep, ugly gashes. When faced with the choice Remus could always say that he would choose his real relationship with James, Sirius and Peter over any imagined relationship with Lily, lovely as she was.