First story submitted on FF dot net! Woot.
There aren't many stories here with Escargon taking a large role, from what I've seen, so I wanted to post one in honor of my favorite snail. Anyways, this was done like maybe a few months back under some anonymous request, and it took a good while to write right on the spot. I'm no avid fanfiction writer, so constructive critics are encouraged '
Hintings of slash (maybe one-sided?) between a gay snail and an angry penguin. If that bothers you, then don't read obviously '
Escargon, completely revitalized after a refreshing night's rest, waltzed across Dedede's room, cleaning this and dusting that. In the event of the happy morning, Escargon wore his favorite pink maid piece once again, the feel of it on his body lifting the cheerful air around him. He went about making the bed, vaccuming the carpet, and checking up on the roses he always brought to Dedede's room from his own garden. Escargon wanted everything clean in his Majesty's room for the day.
Once he went through every area, Escargon ran up to the entrance and judged the cleanliness of the royal bedroom. The area was literally sparkling and spotless as the result of his hard, enthusiastic work. Perfect. Normally, under any other day, Dedede would complain about Escargon's lack of effort upon seeing the royal bedroom and demand that Escargon go through the whole cleaning process again. Escargon really did love his Majesty, but he just wished he were easier on his servant sometimes.
With a satisfied nod, Escargon turned and opened the door, planning to meet Dedede in the dining room, but instantly bumped into someone, stopping him short. Right in front of the doorway, with a displeased look on her face…..was his mother?!
In complete shock and fear, Escargon screamed.
"It's nice to see you too, son." His mother tapped her foot impatiently. Though the last time she came to the village was a couple of years or so ago, she looked the same as before, wearing her favorite green dress, orange scarf, and a bag of gifts she always brought to her on trips.
"M-mother?! I-I…." Certain that his eyes weren't deceiving him, he immediately embraced her in a hug. "I can't believe it's you! It's been so long…" Escargon was ecstatic to see his mother and all, but the unexpected visit had him hoping she wouldn't notice him wearing….that. "I wasn't informed you were coming…"
"That's because I wanted this to be a surprised visit. We wouldn't want the whole village dragged into another one of your silly pretenses, do we?" She asked in that reproving tone of voice she often used on him as a kid.
"Mother, I would never do that to you again…" Escargon said meekly as he unconsciously held on to the ends of his apron, as if trying to sneak it out of sight.
"And what is that you're wearing?"
Escargon flinched, taken aback. So much for keeping it under cover. "I-It's not what it looks like! It's just something I'm trying out for the out first time, really… " Escargon explained, looking to change the subject. "What brings you here, anyways?"
"Funny thing. Our good friend Harold from town offered me a nice television with a discount at half the price. Isn't that sweet of him? Anyhow, as I flipped through the channels you'll never guess what I saw."
"What was it…?"
His mother paused, the apalling memory fresh on her mind. "YOU, my dear. You, wearing that same, ridiculous garb you're wearing at this moment," Escargon shrank back, realizing he had just been caught lying to his mother. "Serving pie to that horrible slob you people call a king!"
".…you saw that?"
"And that's not even the last of it! I can't possibly keep count how many times I've seen you in prancing around in these ridiculous drags in his awful programs!"
A burning shame rose within Escargon's chest, unable to find a response to this revelation. He never imagined his mother would be watching any of the daily skits that went through Channel DDD; no on ever really did. Granted, they were reruns now. Escargon knew he was often made a fool of, courtesy of Dedede, but his mother was the very last person he wanted to look stupid in front of.
"That king is making a complete fool of you for his own amusement, Escargon!" She scolded. "And on national television, no less! I suspected that person had an evil streak in him….how else has he been mistreating you? And for how long?"
His mother was usually the kindest, sweetest person when she wasn't in one of her moods, but it's never a good thing when she's this upset over a matter. Desperate, Escargon quickly resolved to save face for his Majesty, even at the cost of his own dignity.
"I-It's nothing like that, mother! I volunteered for every one of those, really! I thought it was a fun idea, and His Majesty would never make me do a thing like that. He really is, um…a nice guy." Escargon nearly had to stop himself from grinning. "I'm sorry for dragging you all the way out here..."
His mother softened at the statement, taking hold of his hands "Aww, sweetie. If that's the case, then maybe I had the wrong idea about the king. And I'm always glad to see my son, anyhow. But why on earth are you wearing this now, there's no need to..." She glanced to Escargon's arms, spotting a deep bluish discolored mark on his skin. Not one, but at least three of them.
Escargon's mother's eyes went wide as she screeched in horror.
"What? What is it, mother!?" Escargon panicked, nearly thinking his mother was having a heart attack on the spot.
The mother snail grabbed one of Escargon's arms and brought it up to his face. Escargon winced slightly at the abnormally strong grip, but upon looking he found the reason of alarm, and felt himself go pale.
"THIS! What on earth is this!?" She pointed toward the offending marks on his arms. Escargon was once again, freaking out. He hadn't noticed bruises there!
"That's nothing, I swear! I w-was in the uh, my garden! And I hit myself. With a hoe." Escaron processed what he just said, and wanted to slap himself.
His mother just stared at him with a half-lidded expression at Escargon's stupidly lame attempt of an excuse. He used to come up with better things as a kid.
"DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO YOUR MOTHER!" Escargon nearly tumbled down from the force of the yell, had his mother not been clamping on to his arm. "It was THAT DEDEDE wasn't it?! That monster, that sadistic demon, how dare he treat my beloved son like this!?"
The poor maid snail was practically quavering with apprehension in his mother's grip. It came to him; as fate would have it, the latest of Dedede's disastrous schemes to kick Kirby out of the kingdom was just the day before. Such injuries were the typical result of their failures.
His mother was absolutely livid, her face full of anger. Escargon braced himself for another incoming rant as the unrelenting grip tightened.
However, in place of angry yelling was silence, and the hold on his arm softened. Surprised, Escargon hesitantly opened a clenched eye to find his mother on the verge of tears, a sudden sadness and concern overtaking her features. Escargon faced her, truly worried.
"Mother? What's wrong-oof!" His mother immediately pulled him into a tight hug. Escargon blinked dumbly.
"This is all my fault! I should have never left you go out on your own like that!" She cried, tears dampening his shoulder. "You were still so young….what was I thinking?"
"I was in my thirties-ow."
His mother squeezed him tighter, silencing him. "You must have been all lost and alone out there, with no one to look after you…I'm such a horrible mother!"
The motherly embrace was cutting off Escargon's circulation, but he knew better than to interrupt her speech lest she give him another squeeze. Finally, his mother released him. Hands on his shoulders, she looked at him with a grim seriousness in the eye.
"You haven't been raped, have you?"
Escargon's face went bright red. "What?! No! Of course not!"
"Oh, thank heavens." she sighed, relieved. "I haven't even given you the talk yet."
Suddenly, a loud booming voice echoed from the hallways, startling them both.
"ESCARGOOOOON!"
Escargon instinctively perked at the king's voice.
"It's his Majesty…." he said anxiously, terrified of how the king may react to suddenly seeing his mother on castle grounds again. She didn't respond, however, as she sternly looked towards the source the noise, prepared to meet the king once again.
"Escargooooon!" The sound of heavy footsteps loomed nearer until the hulky figure passed right across the corridor. Dedede double-taked when he thought he spotted his servant right outside the royal bedroom door.
"Escargon!" he came up to the snail, clearly irritated. "I've been calling you forever ago! I don't pay you to slack off, so do your job right!" He pointed angrily at the person who was not, in fact, Escargon. She glared at him hard for a moment, somewhat incredulously, before her son broke the awkward silence between them.
"Uhm…your Majesty…" Escargon cleared his throat from the bedroom doorway, redirecting the king's attention.
"What--" Dedede looked between Escargon and the strangely familiar face. Irate, he leered at the right snail, who nervously drew back. "What is this? I don't remember inviting anyone to the castle!"
"As if I need to be invited by brutes such as yourself!" She snapped, the mere presence of him inciting her temper.
"Wait a minute…" Dedede recognized that voice. "You're Escargon's mom!"
"Took you long enough. You're as dense as I remember!"
Sensing the growing tension, Escargon ran up between the two and tried to calm his king the best he can.
"Your Majesty, I'll explain later. There's no need to-"
"Didn't I say your mother was forever banned from the castle?" He sternly reminded.
Escargon stammered, clearly remembering that silly law he made right after his mother left. Partly to get back at Escargon for his previous insolence. "Please, be reasonable! You can't honestly hold that grudge after all this time!"
"My baby has nothing to explain to you, king Dedede." Escargon's mother sharply warned as she marched up to her son defensively, placing herself in front of him. She knew Dedede doubled her in size and even more and strength, but she was determined to face up to her son's tormentor.
Further angered, Dedede leaned into her face. "Your baby works for me. And he is going to do exactly what I tell him!"
"Escargon will NOT be ordered around by some incompetent, old miscreant!"
"Old? Look who's talking. You've been past your prime before I was even born!"
"Tough talk for a tyrant who can't do simple tasks without someone holding his hand!"
Distraught over the heated argument between his two loved ones, Escargon tried to intervene. "Mother, your Majesty, please stop fighting…!"
Both infuriated heads swerved to face him. "YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS!"
Getting the message, Escargon meekly slinked into the background.
Escargon's mother turned back to the king. "I refuse to just stand back and watch my son be mistreated by some cruel and horrible king! He deserves better than to deal with any of your garbage. So as of now, Escargon no longer works for you, and I'm taking him home with me!"
"What?! You can't do that!"
She ignored Dedede and motioned towards her anxious son. "Come, Escargon. We're leaving this place forever!"
Escargon's heart plunged at the order. Him….leave the kingdom? After all the years he's lived at the castle, he grew frantic at the thought of leaving the kingdom and his dear Majesty. "Mother, wait, you're thinking to rashly!" he frantically tried to explain, "I can't just leave…!"
His mother gave him that look, her voice dropping to a dangerous tone. "You will do what your mother tells you this instance, or so help me…"
"Eeeh!" He yelped, clutching to his apron in a womanly fashion. "C-can't we think this through….?"
Not looking to waste any more time, his mother grabbed him the arm and began dragging him away. "I SAID WE'RE LEAVING."
"Mother, but I don't want to!" Escargon cried, his mother's strong grip impossible to break free. They didn't get very far before his other arm was taken hostage.
"Escargon is NOT leaving the castle!" Dedede snarled, clamping onto Escargon's arm.
"Your Majesty…!"
Escargon's mother turned, extremely irritated. "You will release him this instance!"
"As if! Escargon is my servant, and there's no way that you'll have him!" Dedede pulled Escargon's arm for emphasis.
"Escargon is my son! He'll make the right choices, even if I have to do it for him!" She tried to yank him out of Dedede's grasp.
"Stop! You're going to dislocate my shoulders!" Escargon tried to get their attention (though he knew he didn't have any bones to start with), but his cry went unnoticed.
"So what? We have a close and meaningful relationship, so he rightfully belongs to me!"
"What?!" Escargon's mother gawked.
"He didn't mean it that way mother, oh pleaseletmego!" he cried, his muscles aching now after all the tugging. Exasperated, his mother finally released him.
"Alright, you impossible child! I see you are strongly insistent on staying at this place, heaven knows why…" She rubbed her temples, and slowly breathed in. Her son could be a real pain sometimes, and together with that Dedede…"I'll give you a chance. Just give me one, very good reason as to why I should just leave you here with a menace that torments my son."
"Ha! I knew you'd give in, eventually." Dedede proudly retorted.
One reason…? "Well, uhm…" Escargon fumbled around trying to find the right words to say. He was grateful his mother was at least giving him a chance, but it cornered him with a 'secret' he would've rather kept to himself, most of all from his mother. But this was a desperate circumstance. Promises of good pay and a high rank weren't going to keep him here. Escargon didn't want to disappoint his mother, but he didn't want to leave his Majesty either.
Escargon resolved to give it a shot. Nervously, he averted his eyes away from his mother's and mumbled out a few unintelligible words.
"What was that? Speak up." She crossed her arms, waiting.
Escargon took a deep, trembling breath. "….I love him."
The words shocked both his mother and Dedede. She just stood there incredulously, finding it hard to believe what she just heard.
"Did you just say…,"
"He loves me…?" Dedede finished, surprised himself. He always knew Escargon liked him to some extent–he was the great king, after all-, but he never thought about it like this.
"Escargon…how on earth could you love him?" His mother inquired, somewhat unconvinced.
A pang of shame shot through Escargon's chest, noting the distaste in his mother's tone. If he knew she would think of it like that…swallowing the tightness in his throat, he continued. "I, well….I-I can't say. His bravado, his brashness, how he's not afraid to get in your face when things don't go his way, and even how he comes running into my bedroom every time he has a nightmare…" he paused a bit, giving a weak smile at the last part. "His Majesty means a lot to me, that's why I can't leave the castle…just please don't disown me!" He finished, that very thought sending him on the verge of tears.
"Oh, Escargon…that's not what I meant." Escargon's mother walked up to comfort her forlorn child. "I meant how could possibly fall in love with that ignorant, filthy excuse of a king!?" She pointed furiously at Dedede, who just previously was pretty touched by Escargon's speech.
"What!? Show some respect, you hag!"
"So wait…you're not disappointed with me at all?" Escargon quickly interrupted before his mother had a chance to snap back.
"There's no reason to be ashamed of that. Though I can see why being attracted to him would be a secret." She gave Dedede an evil eye. "I don't want you to stay here, Escargon, with a brute that hurts my boy….but it seems that you're doing fine. No point in dragging you off if you'll be moping all the time."
Escargon's eyes lit up. This seemed too good to be true! "So you're all right with me staying?"
"Mmhmm." She nodded.
Overwhelmed by his mother's kindness, Escargon's eyes watered in pure joy and relief….how he wished he weren't so sentimental.
"Oh, mother!" He embraced her in a tight hug, "Thank you, you're the best!"
His mother tenderly hugged him back, at the same glaring daggers at Dedede behind Escargon's back, as a severe warning not to screw things up. Dedede merely gave her a triumphant smirk, indicating his victory this time around.
Dedede and Escargon saw his mother off at the edge of town. She waved at them from the distance, to Escargon at least, as Escargon waved back, once more tearing up as he saw his mother off. In his hand, a loving gift of treats she left him. Dedede leaned nonchalantly on a nearby tree, muttering "good riddance" low enough so the other wouldn't hear him.
"So…you said you loved me, huh?" He looked slyly at Escargon, who blushed back.
"As a king! Of course…" Escargon looked away, trying to drop the subject, at least for now.
--
The mother snail strolled along the sandy path, edged by miles and miles of soft, grassy plains. The glowing sun lighting the orange trail before her. She softly sighed; there goes any chance her son will be bringing a nice wife home. Well, live and learn.