Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush

Title: Monsters Do Exist(In The Souls Of Men)

Summary: "You know that there are no such things as monsters, right?" Logan finds out just how wrong he really is.

Logan woke with a small start, feeling a presence looming over his bed. "James?" he questioned, blinking up into the dark. He pushed himself onto an elbow and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He got nothing but silence in response from the other boy and he pushed himself up into a proper sitting position, concern rising in his chest, "What's the matter?"

"I – Can I sleep with you?" The request was so soft, Logan could barely hear it.

"What?" he asked, confused and sleepy and not sure he had heard the other boy right.

"I thought I heard something…" Again, James spoke so low that Logan had to strain to hear him. But as the words sunk in, he let himself relax.

"James…" he stopped and shook his head, "Are you serious?" he asked, annoyed now that James had gotten him so worked up over nothing. "Aren't you a little old to be scared of the dark?"

"Logan, please?"

Logan sighed, "You know that there are no such things as monsters, right?" Logan asked, but he scooted over just the same making room for the larger boy and lifted the corner of the blankets. "Come on."

James slid into his bed causing the mattress to creak with the added weight as Logan scooted all the way over; glad his bed was against the wall. He'd rather be pressed along a wall then pushed off the bed. They both settled into the small bed with Logan facing the wall and James facing the other way so that their backs were pressed close together. Logan exhaled softly, closing his eyes and tried to ignore the heat he felt radiating from James' body. He was just on the edge of sleep when he felt James shift, moving the entire bed as he turned all the way around to drape his arm heavily across Logan's waist.

"Um, James?" Logan whispered softly, looking over his shoulder into the dark. He wondered if the other boy was asleep already as he was pulled in close, his back pressed along James' chest. He felt something press into the small of his back and blushed hotly when he realized what it was. "James!" he whispered again, his voice a little louder than before, but still soft enough that he wouldn't wake anyone else up.

And then James mouth was pressed against his neck, warm breath tickling the sensitive skin. He ground his hips against Logan's backside as his fingers slipped under the other boy's shirt, grazing across the skin of his stomach.

Logan grabbed James hand and pushed it away quickly, "What are you doing? Stop that!" he whispered loudly and tried to move away from him.

James pulled him back; pressing his hips against Logan's from behind as he cupped him through his pajama bottoms. "Come on, Logan. Don't be like that," James said, his voice pitched low, "I know you want it."

Logan practically slapped James' hand away, "No, I don't," he said, his voice coming out at its normal decibel. "I think you should go back to your own bed now," he said, firmly, trying to push James arm off of him but the other boy tightened his hold.

"Why not?" And Logan could hear the frown in James' voice, could imagine it on his face. "Do you think you're better than me or something?"

Logan's eyes widened in surprise and he tried to turn around to face James, even if he wouldn't have been able to really see him but James wouldn't let him. He held him firmly against his chest. "What? No," he said, settling for trying to look over his shoulder. "That's not it at all!"

"Then what is it?"

Logan sighed, turning back to stare into the darkness in front of him. Images of ridiculous eyebrows and green eyes, a quirky smile and adorable dimples flashed through his mind and his chest constricted tightly.

"You can pretend I'm him, if you want," James whispered, nuzzling against his neck, causing Logan to jump slightly, his breath catching in his throat at James' words.

"How did you -"

James laughed, cutting him off. "Everybody knows. It's so obvious," he said, his thumb stroked his hip gently, "Do you want me to call you 'Logie'?" he asked, gently nipping his ear.

He burned with embarrassment and shame and he pushed James back with his shoulder, roughly. "No! Just stop it!" he said, his voice breaking above a whisper. He yelped in surprise when he suddenly found himself face down into the mattress, James moving to press him down with his body.

"What if I don't want to stop?" he asked, straddling Logan from behind. He grabbed Logan's flailing arms and pinned them to the bed, "Who's going to stop me? You?"

Logan swallowed thickly, fear welling up in him, "James, please," he begged, turning his head to try to look up at the other boy. But it was too dark. All he saw was a silhouette. "You're hurting me…"

James brought his hands together above his head, crushing his wrists in one hand as the other slid down his side. He pushed his shirt up, running his fingers along the smooth skin he exposed to the dark before his fingers slid under the waist band of his pajamas and boxers and he pushed them down roughly.

He leaned down, "Don't worry, I'll be as gentle as I can…" he whispered hotly into Logan's ear before pressing a forceful kiss to the side of his head.

And then James placed his hand between his shoulders and pressed him into the mattress, nudging his legs apart with his knees and even as he heard James spit and push two fingers into him roughly and too fast, causing him to cry out in pain against his pillows, Logan couldn't quite believe that it was really happening. That James, one of his best friends who he had known for years and had grown up with, would do this to him. James, who had begged him to help him pass Algebra in the ninth grade and who had set up double dates to help him get a girl. James, who he had shoveled snow with and had protected him from bullies and from being picked on in school.

That James couldn't possibly be gripping his hips tight as he entered him way too soon from behind.

"Oh, god, Logan, you feel so good," James whispered into his ear, his nose nuzzling the side of his face gently. "Do you know how," he gasped, "long I've been trying to get you to see me?" he finished then thrust viciously into Logan as he muttered his next words, "But all you see is him."

Logan cried out in pain, his eyes shut tightly, tears leaking out, as his fingers dug into the blankets, looking for something to anchor him, to ease the hurt of James pounding into him. To ease the fact that it was James doing this to him.

"Shut up!" James hissed out, punctuating each word with a hard thrust. He stopped for a moment and grabbed Logan's hips roughly, pulling him up until they were both on their knees before thrusting back in. "Or maybe you want Kendall to come in and see me fucking you like this," his words came out stuttered and low, his hips pounding into Logan mercilessly.

A dark breathless chuckle escaped him as his hips started to lose their rhythm, "God…Can you imagine his face?" and then he let out a low moan, his fingers digging ruthlessly into Logan's hips as he slammed into him one last time as he came followed by a few more shallow thrusts to ride it out until he had no choice but to pull out and collapse onto the bed next to Logan.

Logan instantly curled in on himself, his shoulders shaking with almost-silent sobs. He covered his mouth with both hands to try to keep his snuffles and whimpers as quiet as possible. Arms encircled him and he flinched as James curled around him, his arms wrapping around his waist.

A tender kiss pressed along his jaw, "Shh…" James hushed softly, gentle fingers running up and down his chest and stomach. "Let me make you feel good," James whispered against his ear, fingers curling around his limp cock. Logan whimpered softly as James stroked him, his body reacting unwillingly to the stimulation. James kissed along his neck and shoulder, teeth nipping gently against the skin. Logan wanted to make him stop, wanted to push him away, wanted to scream and cry and forget the entire night had happened. But he hurt so much and James' hand felt so good, helped take his mind off of the pain. He bit his lip as another whimper escaped him and he turned his face back into his pillow, his hips thrusting into James' hand now.

He hated himself for taking pleasure in this. Every kiss that fell onto his shoulder felt like a brand of shame, every moan that escaped his throat felt like bile and as he cried out into the pillow, his body shuddering as he spilled his seed onto James' hand, he felt like dying.

"You're so beautiful, Logan," James whispered, pressing kiss after kiss to the underside of his jaw as he continued to stroke him through the aftershocks of his orgasm, Logan gasping and shaking in his arms. "I want to see your face next time…"

James kissed his neck one last time, and pulled him close, his chest pressed along Logan's back, curling around the smaller boy. And Logan let it all happen because he didn't know what else to do. He didn't know what to think or what to feel. It all felt surreal and he had a hard time wrapping his mind around it.

But he did know one thing. He had been wrong.

Monsters did exist.