Hey all
Trying something new…an entirely humorous fic. This is about Ronon Dex from Stargate: Atlantis, and, in my opinion, is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Of course, if you don't watch the show you won't get it, and if you have absolutely no sense of humor you probably won't find it amusing either; Ronon is one of my favorite characters, so the horrible situations I will shortly put him through are not to be taken seriously.
I do not own Ronon or any other characters that show up throughout the fic, nor do I own the show itself. The situations, however, belong partly to me and partly to my friend Abby (we both have this weird fascination with Ronon…if you don't understand it, don't even bother asking; I can't explain it.) So, here it is:
Ten Ways To Get Yourself Killed By Ronon
Number one: Tell him you think he's pretty.
Abby was walking down the hall of the base of operations for the Atlantis Stargate. Suddenly, she saw Ronon walking down the hall towards her, and was overcome with an overwhelming desire to blurt something out that she had been wanting to say to him for some time now. Never being one for turning down a perfect opportunity, she poked him, causing him to stop and stare at her in complete confusion. "You're pretty…" she said, in a voice that sounded like a small child. Ronon continued to stare at her, completely dumbstruck. He would have glared, but the situation was just so frickin' weird that he just wanted to laugh, making all attempts at a glare virtually impossible. He thought back to a solution that Sheppard had told him was a surefire way to deal with the "crazies"; smile and nod, just smile and nod.
Yes, I know; there is no actual death in this chapter. But it's just so darn funny that I couldn't help but include it. I promise, every chapter after this will end in someone dying (You sickos).