Prologue
Fiona Coyne 16 turning 17
Fiona didn't know why she felt at ease when she was drunk, but she did. It made things a lot easier on her. After the failed relationships and Bobby's abuse, being separated from her twin and starting over on her own in Toronto, she needed a way of feeling better and the bubbly did it for her. The more she drank, the more she needed to feel drunk and she ended up loaded all of the time. In the midst fo her confusion, she failed to see what was right in front of her; she was in love with a girl.
She managed to keep dating guys. She even found one she really liked, but when she said she liked his girl parts, "best of both worlds," as she put it, he was crushed. "You're a lesbian," he said, coldly as he got ready to leave, his heart smashed. Why was it so easy for him to figure out, but so hard for her to understand. Maybe that's what was eating up at her all of this time. When she was drunk, she didn't even think about it; she just hit on whomever she found attractive. She finally realized she always hit on girls when she was drunk.
Fiona became best friends with Holly J, which was ironic, since she was so jealous of her and Declan over the past summer, but they got each other and they both needed a best friend. Fiona had never been good at keeping one, and Holly J had pissed off Anya one too many times, but this would not last forever. Fiona got held back since she spent so much time in rehab. Holly J went off to Yale, where her love, Declan, Fiona's freaking twin, was going. Fiona thought she had a girlfriend Charlie, but she wasn't ready for her and ended up relapsing. She was all alone, just like always and she was sick of it.
Clare Edwards 16
Clare could never seem to get it right. She started off as the nerdy girl who didn't pay attention to guys at all. She fell for K.C., which was fine until Jenna swept in. She decided on school not boys the second time around, but then she fell for two different guys her sophomore year just to crash and burn twice. Eli wanted her too badly, to the point it made him crazy, and Jake didn't want her enough to try and make it work when their parents decided to get hitched. Why couldn't she find a guy who wanted her the right amount? Was that too much to ask?
She got herself an internship for the summer. It was unpaid, but she was hoping it would help her make connections and maybe they'd hire her back and pay her next summer or at least recommend her to someone who would pay. She needed to get her mind off Jake, the wedding, everything. Alli was gone for the summer. Adam had been shot. How did she go from two best friends to having none of them be available? What the shit!
Clare had to get ready for her first day of work. she didn't know what to wear, so she went with a black a-line skirt, white blouse and a black blazer, black shoes and did her make up but not too much makeup, one hint of perfume and she was ready to go.
"You look nice," her mother told her as she got ready to leave.
"Thanks, Mom."
"Buck up. This summer will be better than you think."
"I wish I believed that." Even the internship Clare had been looking forward to felt like a drag now. She just wanted to disappear.
Clare got to work early, wanting to make a good impression, but no one was ready for her.
"Sorry, the secretary said. There's been a fashion emergency. Everyone's scrambling right now."
Fashion Emergency? Clare pondered. Alli would fit in here. She has at least two every week.
Clare saw a woman, or what she assumed was a woman, running literally covered in clothes, like she was cousin it made from fabric. There were too many for her to hold in her arms. They were just all over her head and torso.
Clare heard the hangers hitting a rack and what sounded like serious deliberations.
"I can't believe none of the clothes fit her."
"I can't believe she's showing so quickly."
"I can't believe she ate all of those tasty cakes."
"Shut the hell up!" Classy!
After about 10 minutes, they finally got it. "You did it, Fi!"
Did he just say Fi? Surely he didn't mean Fiona Coyne. There have to be lots of Fiona's in Toronto, not that Clare knew of any others.
Clare finally got a chance to meet with her boss. "Sorry about that Clare. One of our girls wasn't fitting in her clothes and we need to shoot her ASAP!"
"I'm fine. Where should I start?"
"How about a tour of the office. Margie, give Clare a tour please." A woman came with her hair in a messy bun and she looked like she hadn't slept all night. She grunted and Clare followed her, taking notes on where to find which people for what kind of problems. Margie spoke quickly and walked even faster. Clare had short legs, but she managed.
Fiona looked up and thought she saw blue eyes, but they disappeared as soon as they had appeared. She got back to work. She had to make sure there were no more fashion fiasco's or it was off with her head, even if she wasn't the reason the models weren't ready. Failure is not an option. Always remember that!
Clare got her first assignment, writing on the fall show that was in two weeks. She found out who was presenting fashion lines and started with press statements that they had released about the line. She looked at past fall lines, predicted trends and what various moguls in the industry had to say about this season. She had a lot of information, but she felt like she was missing the character, the heart of the matter. She needed someone who could help her feel fashion. Lord, Alli tried, but she couldn't get Clare to understand.
Clare condensed her notes and began to draft a piece. The soul wasn't there. She needed help. Her boss came in to check on her. "How are you doing Clare?"
"I have a lot of information, but my piece doesn't have any soul to it. I'm not sure I really understand the fashion world intimately enough."
"This isn't a boyfriend; it's an assignment."
"I know, but I want the readers to feel like there's a reason that this piece matters, that it's not just some run of the mill fashion article that's just like every other one, so no one will bother."
"You got big goals kid. Try to write something digestible and then we'll deal with the soul later."
Clare nodded and then grunted as she started to type. She learned one thing about assignments; bosses always strip it down. Clare wrote a draft and then struggled with it until she cut out 30%. Then it was at least not horribly wordy. She knew it would be cut down more, but she wanted to show that she was trying to get as close to right on the first try as she could.
She was too busy typing to even notice everyone leaving for lunch. "You coming?" there was a knock on her cubicle wall.
She turned around, "Fiona?"
"Clare! I thought I saw your eyes. I thought I imagined them because you disappeared so fast."
"Well, I was following Marge, and she's a fast walker."
"Let me guess; she gave you a tour and talked way too fast, so you didn't really absorb anything."
"I tried to write it down, but it turned out to be chicken scratch."
"She always does that. Come on! It's lunch time."
"I'm surprised these people eat lunch," Clare commented.
"They do. The models don't. That's fashion, Baby!"
Clare followed Fiona. "Wait a minute? Can you teach me fashion?"
"Like how to dress because I'd love to take you shopping." Fiona loved dressing people.
"I meant how to understand the industry. I'm writing an article and I report on the facts, but I don't think I actually get the point."
"Sure. However, I will need a favor from you, in due time."
"Deal!"
The girls went to the cafe down the street where everyone was fussing about their orders. Fiona told her, there are only two edible things here, the chicken pesto panini and the mac and cheese. "Don't eat anything else."
"Got it!"
Clare got a half and half of each one. Fiona did the same.
The girls made small talk during lunch. They hadn't really talked much since Fi and Adam broke up, Clare being his best friend and all.
After lunch, they agreed to meet after work and Fiona would show her the fashion way of life. Clare got through the rest of the day. It was easy to get distracted in that place, with models crying, photographers shouting, Marge growling and Clare's boss hissing like a snake. Clare swore she was Medusa.
After work, she and Fiona walked to her loft which was only about four blocks away from the office. They went upstairs and Fiona started with her closet. "Fashion," she started, "is everything. It elevates clothes above what merely keeps you warm and gives you a chance to reinvent yourself.
Fashion is about attitude, style, poise, culture. It crosses languages and customs and it can tie people together who otherwise have nothing in common. You have accessories, hand bags, perfumes, jewelry, shoes all of which get made somewhere and sold everywhere. Fashion impacts music, movies, books, restaurants. It's not just about starving models and their neuroses. It's about being free to be whatever you want."
Clare knew Fiona had an eye for flair, but she never knew how much it meant to her. "How did you develop your style?" Clare asked her. Why not make Fiona her first interview? She needed the practice.
"I have to stand out. I can't just wear plain shirts, with jeans and sneakers. I have to have something that strikes back, patchwork, uneven stripes, a hat, even with our dreadful school uniforms, I still try to make them, me. I have gotten a couple of detentions, but it's worth it."
"What are you rebelling from?"
"I'm not sure I know. Every since I was little, I had to set myself apart. I couldn't be like the normal girls who did all fo the same stuff and fought over the same boys and toys and junk. I always had a strong sense of individuality, even with a twin."
Clare looked at her. She wondered if Fiona's sexuality, and her struggle with coming to terms with it impacted her fashion aesthetic. Maybe she had to rebel because she didn't know how to say she was different.
"What are you thinking?"
Clare turned bright pink. "I was just musing, but I don't think it would be appropriate for me to say."
"Out with it Edwards."
"I don't want to upset you."
"No secrets between us girls."
Clare grunted. "Did you ever think your sexual orientation impacted your fashion aesthetic?"
"Huh!"
"Well, you always have to be different. You didn't want to be like the other girls. You dated guys for a while. Maybe you didn't know how to come out, so you used fashion to set yourself apart, as your way of rebelling from what you didn't understand."
Fiona froze. Clare felt bad. "I shouldn't have said anything. I should go."
"No wait!" Fiona grabbed her hand. "You know you're like a mirror."
"What?"
"When you talk to people, you reveal what's hidden beneath the surface and you reflect it back to them like a mirror. It can be hard to handle all at once."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. The world needs more people like you, more people who can keep everyone else honest."
"Did you have any plans for dinner?"
"No."
"Did you want to come to my house? I have to get home soon, and if you want, you can come with me."
"Sure."
They walked to Clare's house, not talking much along the way. Fiona had a lot to think about. Clare was wondering what the hell she was thinking. She shouldn't have said anything to Fiona. She shouldn't have even thought it. What was it her business why Fiona dressed the way she did, regardless of how great her eye.
"Mom. This is my friend Fiona. Fiona, this is my Mom."
"Hi Fiona. Please, make yourself at home."
Clare washed her hands. Fiona looked around the house. There was very little artwork. It kind of felt like those model homes they show you to see if you like the house. It didn't really feel lived in. Even the photos were gone.
Dinner was roast chicken and mixed vegetables. "So Fiona, are you Clare's year."
"No, I'm a senior."
"Like Jake."
Clare kind of froze up at the mention of him. It's probably a sore subject for her. Fiona was ready to change it quickly. "Yeah. Clare and I work together, well for the same office."
"Oh that's nice. How was your first day?"
"Hectic. There were a lot of emergencies."
"You're lucky. You just have to write. I have to solve those emergencies."
"I can barely think in there, much less write, between the models crying and Marge's grunting and I think my boss is Medusa!"
Fiona cracked up.
"Clare," her mother scolded. "You can't talk about your boss like that."
"She does have the hair," Fiona added.
"And she hisses!" Clare continued. "Hiss!"
Helen gave up. The girls were wild.
"Well at least she doesn't grunt," Fiona carried on. "I think Marge sounds like Owen when she grunts."
"Do you think they are related?" The girls were cracking up.
After dinner, the girls chatted a little more and Fiona walked home before it got dark. Helen asked her daughter, "You haven't mentioned her before."
"She used to date Adam. It ended kind of badly."
"Oh! She seems nice."
"She is." Clare left it at that and went upstairs. She didn't like that hearing Jake's name still bothered her. She wished it didn't.
Over the next few days, Clare revised and revamped her piece on Toronto Fashion week. She was beginning to understand the heart that went into the work. Clare likened it to her writing. It was how she let go.
At the end of the week, Fiona invited Clare for a sleepover. Clare was excited to get out of her house: movies, pizza, girl talk. It sounded really good. Clare submitted one more draft of her piece and then she was ready to go home. The girls walked to her loft. Fiona and Clare sat down on the couch.
They shared some gossip about work, but that got old kind of fast. They went on to talking about their peers. "What's it like having Holly J as a best friend?" Clare asked her.
"I don't know how to answer that."
"It's just that she can have a biting personality, and she clearly is very fond of you. I was wondering what it's like to see a side of her that most people don't."
"She can be blunt with me too, but I always know that she's coming from a good place. She was one of the first people to confront me about my drinking, and I was pissed at the time, but it was only because she cared. What about your best friends?"
"Well, Adam is a great listener, but I think he got caught in the middle of me and Eli one too many times. I fell like I need to fix things with him, but then he got shot, and he needs to focus on his recovery and stuff, and Alli, she can be very sweet, but she can be very me-centric. She also can be a bit short-sided, especially with boys. It can be hard to handle sometimes."
"What do you mean short-sided?"
"She sees something and lunges for it like a magnet being attracted to another one without actually considering what she's doing, like her first boyfriend Johnny DiMarco. He was too old for her. He wanted sex, which she wasn't ready for, but she wanted him so badly, she gave him everything he wanted just to have it crash in burn in like a few weeks. Drew was next and he's cute and all, but they have very little in common, and I think she was looking with her nether regions and not her heart, and that didn't work very well." Fiona cracked up when she said, "nether regions." "Now she's with Dave who's nice and all, but I'm not even sure if she's into him or into the fact that he's into her, and somehow every time her relationship crashes, I'm supposed to help pick up the pieces. It can be a lot to handle."
"Did you ever tell her what you think?"
"I tried with Johnny, but she wouldn't listen. After that, I just left her to her own devices. It's not like I have much success with relationships."
"So what do I not know about your dating history?"
"in grade nine, Connor and K.C. both liked me, but I liked K.C., so we dated until Jenna transferred in and she became my best friend to seduce K.C. and it worked. I had a crush on your brother, but I didn't know he was getting with Holly J and I awkwardly kissed him, but Holly J was surprisingly nice to me. I thought she'd kill me, especially given her reputation and then I ended up playing seven minutes in heaven with Wesley and he liked me, but I didn't like him that way. I swore off dating, but then I met Eli and after Eli was Jake, who's about to be my stepbrother."
"It's still raw isn't it."
"Yeah, and I didn't even get a chance to mess it up. Life just happened to me."
"Did you really see it working out?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Clare sounded a bit offended.
"He's cute, I guess if you're into lumberjacks, but I didn't see him doing it for you in the long run."
"What am I missing?"
"You're passionate and he's kind of a "life goes on" kind of guy. Honestly, I don't think he'd be able to satisfy you in the long run."
"Then why am I so sad that we're done."
"He came into your life in a crazy time, your parents divorced, your relationship with Eli exploded and he was the normalcy you needed at the time. You can have that without him. I think you can have better when you find the right guy." Clare realized Fiona was right about Jake. She didn't love him. She loved feeling good. She could have that with lots of guys.
"And he will be?"
"The guy who makes you hot, who's crazy about you without actually being crazy."
"I wish!"
"Just be patient."
"What about your dating history?"
Fiona sighed. She knew this was coming. "Well, I dated a guy in prep school. He was nice but kind of boring. He actually reminds me of Jake a little bit. After him was Bobby, who turned out to be abusive. I sued him a few months ago and I won the case. I dated Riley for like three days, but I knew Riley was gay. I just didn't realize I was too. He got pissed when I told him I knew his secret. Then I dated Adam, and you know what happened there. After that, I fell in love with my best friend who's in love with my brother, and after her, I dated a girl named Charlie, who's a model, but I just wasn't ready for a relationship, and then I relapsed when I saw her with another girl, so I'm single again, and fresh out of my second rehab trip."
"Well, I'm no Holly J, but if you ever need to talk to someone, like if you're feeling down, you can call me anytime."
"I'd like that. Not that I like feeling down, but I like talking to you."
"I like talking to you too."
The pizza finally arrived and the girls dug in. Now it was time to go over fashion trends in magazines. Fiona circled some looks that she thought would work for Clare and they picked out some movies: The Breakfast Club was first, Mean Girls second and if they had the energy Clueless.
They made popcorn and got halfway through Clueless before Clare fell asleep on the couch. She actually fell asleep in Fiona's lap. Fiona paused the movie, put a pillow under Clare's head and tucked her in.
The girls had cold pizza for breakfast and watched the rest of Clueless. "We should do this again," Clare told her.
"Definitely."
Clare got back home. "How was your sleepover?"
"It was good. I needed some girl talk time."
"That's nice." Helen was just glad to see Clare in a better mood. She did not take the engagement well. In hindsight, she wished she had given Clare some warning. Maybe she wouldn't have gotten so attached to Jake if she had.
Clare headed upstairs.
On Monday, Clare had a new assignment and Fiona had a new crisis to manage. Clare got her chance to interview some fashion designers and got her first taste of how scripted the interviews were. She got calls from agents and press secretaries telling her what questions not to ask, like no mentioning [x's] estranged daughter, like Clare would do that. She managed to actually get some questions pre-approved, but she was given many questions to ask. She wondered why they didn't just send an official statement.
Fiona ran back in forth, flawlessly in her heels, bringing in clothes, bringing them back out, switching clothes between models until she finally got them looking acceptable. Their hair and makeup on the other hand was a total disaster. Fiona did clothes. The other stuff was up to the hairstylist and makeup artist, who were both behind schedule due to all of the other emergencies, not to mention a hair disaster.
Clare and Fiona's lunches together were the highlights of the workday. They were both feeling the waters in the profession they chose, and it was nice to have someone who could commiserate with being on the bottom of the ladder, all of the work while everyone else steps on your head.
They had another sleepover on Friday. This time they watched Chasing Amy and Legally Blonde. Fiona was surprised Clare picked Chasing Amy. It's about a woman who's confused about her sexuality and a man who falls in love with her. Clare said she watched all of the Jay and Silent Bob movies, which further surprised Fiona." Behind their shield crass behavior and foul language, Jay and Silent Bob are quite fascinating characters."
After the second movie, Clare fell asleep on the couch again. Fiona went to her bed, but she was woken up by a shrill. "Get away from me! NO!"
Fiona shook her awake. "Clare, you're having a nightmare."
"What? Did I wake you? I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Fiona hugged Clare until she stopped shaking. Clare fell against her.
"I feel better when you're next to me."
Fiona led Clare to bed. She shouldn't have been surprised that Clare was a cuddly sleeper. Somehow, Fiona woke up with Clare in her arms. They were spooning. Her hair smells good, Fiona thought before she fell back asleep.
Daily lunches and Friday sleepovers became the routine for the two new friends as the summer progressed. Occasionally, Clare would have Fiona over for dinner and Helen was glad to see Clare with a new friend. She had Alli as her only girlfriend for far too long, but she started to notice what she thought were signs of affection from Fiona, the way she'd scratch Clare's head or whisper a joke in her ear, or look at her when her head was turned.
Maybe I'm just seeing stuff, Helen thought to herself as she went upstairs. The summer came to a close, and the two girls were pretty much besties. They still had their nominal best friends, but they shared a bond that was absent with the other girls.
Clare felt good about her junior year. She was single, but she had no drama. She was well over Jake. She didn't even care that he was chasing Katie who had been dumped by Drew for Bianca, so they could try it one more time. She let him go a while ago and she would like a new guy in her life, but she wasn't searching for one. Alli tried to look for her, but Clare didn't bite. "I'll find him when he comes along," Clare said. Alli didn't get how Clare could be so cavalier about the whole thing.
One dinner, Fiona came over and she and Clare were giggling like schoolgirls the whole time. They had inside jokes, secret glances and kept commenting about some unknown lumberjack. Helen was positive at this point that Fiona was way into Clare, and Clare needed to do something about it. She needed a way of approaching the situation. She waited for Glen and Jake to go upstairs. "Hey Clare, can I ask you something?"
"What Mom?"
"How close would you say you are to Fiona?"
"Pretty close, why?"
"Like you and Alli close?"
"I guess, but Alli hangs around with Jenna more than I care to these days, why?"
"I don't know how to say this, but …."
"Maybe you shouldn't say it then," Clare said shortly.
"Clare!"
"What? I was being serious."
"I just am a bit worried about you and Fiona."
"What? Fiona's a great girl."
"I know she is. That's not the problem."
"What is the problem then?" Clare got a little defensive.
"I think she's really into you and if you keep flirting with her like you are, she's going to get hurt."
"She's not into me, and I do not flirt with her. Just because she's a lesbian doesn't mean she's into me."
"I know that, but the way she looks at you, scratches your head, whispers in your ear."
"Alli scratches my head and whispers to me too."
"I know, but Alli doesn't look at you the way Fiona does."
"And how does Fiona look at me."
"Like your unobtainable."
"She does not!"
"And the secret glances that you give each other, the inside jokes, the lumberjack stories, it's quite affectionate."
"I'm an affectionate person."
"I know you are, but I don't want her getting the idea that you want more than just a friendship. I think you need to level with her."
"And say what? My mom thinks you're into me. We're just friends right."
"I'm just trying to help."
"I know Mom, but I'm not even her type." I'm nothing like Holly J. Am I?
Clare went upstairs. This was a time for Alli advice. She gave her a ring.
Alli had been babbling with Jenna about some boy she likes when Clare called.
"Hey Clarebear, what's up?"
"I need some advice. It's kind of a sensitive issue."
"Yeah alright." Alli left the room, so she was alone.
"My mom thinks that Fiona's into me, but we're just friends, and she wants me to let Fiona down easy, but I don't even think she's into me, so I don't know what to say."
"Why does she think Fiona's into you?"
"She says Fiona looks at me in a certain way, and we have some inside jokes, and sometimes she whispers things into my ear, and the way she scratches my head."
"Maybe she is into you."
"Alli!"
"What?"
"You do all of those things too, but we're not into each other."
"No, but I don't think I look at you in a special way, although I'd have to pay attention because I don't know this look."
"I don't know it either. I see her all the time, and I don't ever notice a look."
"What are your sleepovers like?"
"The usual, pizza, gossip, movies, fall asleep."
"On the couch?"
"I usually sleep in her room."
"In her BED?"
"Not like that."
"Just on different sides of the bed, like we used to."
"More like spooning."
"Clare!"
"What?"
"You are totally leading her on."
"Am not. We're just friends."
"Do you ever spoon with Adam in his bed?"
"Of course not."
"Because it would lead him on." Clare groaned. What if she had been leading Fiona on all this time? She had to talk to her on Friday.
"I'll talk to her this Friday."
"Just be honest," Alli told her.
Friday rolled around and Fiona asked Clare if she was excited for their sleepover.
"I always am Fi," Clare tried to hide the fear in her voice.
Marisol looked at her and snickered. Clare rolled her eyes. After school, Clare went home to shower and change before she went to Fiona's.
"I like your outfit. It's cute," Fiona told her as Clare stepped inside, well after their customary hug.
"Thanks," Clare blushed, unsure if she should have worn it in hindsight as it was low cut. The sleepover started off normal, gossip, pizza, magazines. When they went to pick a movie, Clare stopped her.
"Can we talk first?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"I don't want to sound presumptuous, but I need to ask you something."
"Go for it."
"Do you like me?"
"Of course I like you. Why would I have you over so much if I didn't?"
"That's not what I mean. Do you like me, like me?"
Fiona's face fell. She knew she should have tried harder to hide it, but Clare had been so oblivious. She couldn't do this again, not another best friend who she falls in love with who is straight. "I need a minute," Fiona choked out as she went to go run and hide in her bedroom.
"Please don't go," Clare grabbed her hand, sending a jolt of electricity through both of them. When Fiona turned to face her, a tear about to escape her eye, Clare pulled her hand close and kissed her, straight on the lips, starting with just a peck, but it started molding into something more. Their lips started to move and open up a little bit. Clare went for Fi's hair, and then Fiona pulled away.
"What are we doing?" Fiona asked, unsure what the heck was happening right now.
"Kissing. I thought you wanted to."
"I do, but I don't want you kissing me, so I don't cry."
"I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you. I like you too."
"As friends?" Fiona really hoped this wasn't the case.
"No, as more than that," Clare finally admitted, to Fiona and to herself. Everything about Fiona was different, the way they talked for hours but it felt like minutes, how she felt waking up in Fiona's arms.
Fiona grabbed Clare's face and kissed her deeply. Clare felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs. She was about to faint. She hadn't been kissed with so much love before. She grabbed Fiona's hips and led her to the couch, walking backwards until she fell on the couch and Fiona fell on her. The two girls made out for some time, hands in hair, lips getting swollen from all of the tension being released and both hearts racing like they were in the Olympics. Finally, they had to break for air.
"When did you know?" Fiona asked Clare.
"Know what?"
"That you liked me."
Clare didn't know how to say this. "I think I knew for a while, but I didn't understand until I got into a disagreement with my Mom last night. When you were with Adam, you would hit on me when you were drunk, in front of Eli and Adam, and they were too busy trying to keep you calm to notice. I felt uncomfortable and at the time, I thought it was because I was in front of my boyfriend, and you were in front of yours, but I think I've always been attracted to you and that's why I was uncomfortable."
"What did you and your mom argue about?"
"She thought you were into me, and I was leading you on. I thought she was wrong on both counts, but then I talked to Alli who thought that I needed to figure out where we stood, and I realized that I wanted you as more than a friend and that's why I've been so flirty. I didn't know how to make the first move."
"I didn't even think I liked girls when I was hitting on you back then. I just knew drinking made it easier to deal with stress, so I drank when I was stressed. I guess I should have figured out that every guy I dated was stress."
Clare kissed Fiona again. They went to bed as they usually do, with Fiona spooning Clare, but this time, Clare kissed her goodnight. When they woke up, Clare kissed Fiona, catching her by surprise, but this was a very pleasant one.
"Good morning, Lovely."
They shared a few more kisses and then went to get some pizza.
"Do you think your mom will still let you sleep over?"
"Why wouldn't she?"
"Because we're together now."
"I hope so. It's not like you can knock me up."
"That's what you think!"
Haha! They kissed some more before Clare had to go home. Her mother was waiting for her when she got there.
"So how did your sleepover go?"
"It was really fun."
"Clare!"
"What? Was I supposed to have a bad time?"
"You were supposed to be honest with her."
"And I was."
"And she took it well?"
"She did."
Helen felt like she was missing something.
Clare had a date with Fiona tonight, their first one. Clare wanted to look really good, so she asked Alli over to help her dress.
Of course, Alli came right over. "So tell me who this date is and tell me what happened last night."
"When we get upstairs."
Clare closed the door. "So I asked Fiona if she liked me, and she clearly did, but she kind of choked up and looked like she was going to run for it, so I grabbed her and I kissed her."
"You what? Clare, that is sending mixed signals."
"No it isn't. I sent the signal I wanted to send."
"Wait? So your date tonight is …."
"Yep. I have a date with Fiona."
"Whoa!"
"I know, but I feel really good about this."
"How was the kiss?"
"Amazing, like the world was on fire around us, but we just didn't care."
"Whoa!"
Alli got to work. She thought that it was fine if Clare wore something a little sluttier than she would recommend for a first date with a guy. It's not like Fiona could knock her up or something. "Do you know where you're going?"
"No. She wouldn't tell me. She just it was on the fancier side."
"Ooh!" Alli went with the little black dress. "Can't go wrong with Chanel."
"You would have loved our summer job Alli. There were fashion emergencies at least twice a day."
"I can barely handle my own."
Alli went for the accessories next, which a necklace with a sapphire on it. It also emphasized her boobs. Alli tightened her bra as much as possible.
"My boobs are going to burst out of this dress," Clare fussed
"That's the point." Alli suggested a cute clutch and helped pick out the perfect shoes. "You look awesome!"
"Thanks Alli."
Alli hugged her. "This isn't turning you on, is it?"
"No, Conceited."
"Just checking. I didn't want to lead you on."
"Haha!"
Jake saw Clare as she was heading downstairs. "Hot date?"
"Very Hot!"
Clare went down the stairs. "What are you all dressed up for?" Helen asked her.
"I have a date. I'm getting picked up at 6:30."
It was about 6:25. "Who is it? Do I know him?"
"Well, you know her."
"What?"
"I have a date with Fiona, Mom. I took your advice and asked her how she felt about me, and we ended up making out."
"WHAT!"
"It's not like I haven't made out with boys before."
"I realize that, but you …."
"Like Fiona and am going to see where this takes us."
Just then, the doorbell rang. Clare gave Fi a quick kiss on the lips. "Hi Mrs. Martin."
"Hi Fiona." Helen was very confused.
Clare said goodbye to her mother, and took Fiona's hand in hers.
"So how did she take it?"
"Uh! She's confused. She probably will still be confused when I get back, but she wasn't mad."
"That's a start."
Fiona had a car waiting for them, and they were driven to dinner. They sat together in the back, both nervously eyeing the other.
Clare turned to her. "I love your dress." Fiona had a dark blue dress on with a white shell on the strap and she looked marvelous in it. Before Fiona could respond, Clare's lips found hers, and they kissed until they got to the restaurant.
They got out of the car and were promptly seated. They got a table on the second floor which was quieter than the first and overlooked the restaurant.
"This is beautiful," Clare told her as she looked around. Their area was dimly lit, but the ground floor was bright, so it looked like they were dining over a glowing room.
"I thought you'd like it."
"I love it."
The waiter came and told them the specials for tonight: soft shell crab (appetizer), butter poached squab (dinner), salted caramel ice cream (dessert). Clare looked at the menu. She wanted the salmon with the blackberry sage sauce and roasted asparagus. Fiona wasn't a huge fan of squab, so she went with the duck confit. They decided to share the soft shell crab for an appetizer.
"You could have gotten the wine if you wanted it," Fiona told her.
"I never was much of a drinker anyway," Clare answered, and she wasn't going to start drinking in front of Fiona, regardless of how she felt about her recovery.
Fiona slipped her foot out of her shoe and began to trace it along Clare's leg. Clare blushed as Fiona gently teased her.
The appetizer came. The waiter asked if Clare wanted any more soda. "No thank you," she squeaked as Fiona teased her inner thigh. Clare blushed as the waiter walked away.
"Fiona," Clare hissed.
"What?" she feigned innocence as she eased up on her manipulations. Clare hadn't had soft-shelled crab before. It was battered and fried and it was garlicky and a little spicy. It came with a raspberry relish.
After their appetizer, Clare heard her phone buzz. It was a text. She'd answer it later.
"Aren't you going to get that?" Fiona asked her.
"No." Clare leaned in for a kiss, which Fiona eagerly returned.
They heard the server coming with plates. The girls broke apart and served their dinner.
"How's your salmon?"
"It's excellent, and your duck?"
"Perfect. I love duck."
"I like it too, but my mom doesn't like it. She says dark meat is gross."
"Blasphemy."
"I know right. I've always loved salmon. Even when I was a kid and was a picky eater."
Fiona talked about some of her favorite dishes she had when she was in France. Clare was hoping to go this summer with the French program. "If you do go, I'll visit and take you to all of my favorite spots."
"I'd love that."
They shared a chocolate souffle for dessert and they got a scoop of the salted caramel ice cream.
After dessert, the car came to pick them up and they went to an art gallery.
"I thought this place closed at 7," Clare said.
"My family has a membership. We can stay here until 10:30."
The museum was sparse for once. Clare liked the serenity of the place at night. Clare showed Fiona her favorite paintings, which were the Van Goghs and the other dutch work and Fiona showed Clare the Dalis and some of the modern work she enjoyed liked Matthew Weinstein. They found themselves in an "avantgarde" exhibit with no one else in it. It played this weird holograph on a loop.
"This is creepy," Clare commented.
"Yes, but we're alone," Fiona added. She cupped Clare's face and kissed her. They made their way to a bench and made out. Clare started to get excited. Fiona broke the kiss and began kissing her neck and her chest.
"OH GOD!" Clare moaned, throatily
"Did you want to get out of here?"
"YES!"
They got in the car, which had a partition up. They started making out again and Fiona got her hand on Clare's breast. She gave it a gentle squeeze and then rubbed her nipple, making Clare gasp. Fiona got on top, kneading Clare's breasts through her dress and bra as Clare gasped and groaned into Fiona's mouth. Clare's hips started to buck against Fiona's leg. Fiona broke the kiss and hissed into her ear. "You're very horny." Clare blushed as Fiona got a hand up Clare's dress and rubbed her through her soaked panties. "Nice and wet for me," Fi continued as she slipped a finger into her.
"UGH!" Fiona covered Clare's mouth with hers as she pistoned her finger in and out. She got her thumb on Clare's clit and started to rub it. Fiona snaked in a second finger and it wasn't long before Clare bit down on Fiona's shoulder, masking a scream as she came hard, thrashing about.
Fiona smirked. "You came for me so fast." Clare's face was red and she was out of breath. Fiona licked her fingers clean and then resumed to sucking face with Clare until they got to her house.
"Goodnight, Clare."
"Goodnight, Fiona." Clare gave her a goodnight kiss and then went inside. Clare's hair was a mess and her face was still flushed. She got inside.
"How was your date?" Her mother asked her.
"It was really nice. We went out to dinner and then a gallery."
"At this hour?"
"Her family had a membership, so we could stay later."
Jake came downstairs. "So you had a good date," he teased. "Your hair is a mess."
"Shut it!"
"Who was the lucky guy?"
"Fiona."
"Are you serious?" he thought she was teasing him.
"Yes!"
"Imagine that." Jake went and got some milk and went upstairs.
Helen started, "so you and Fiona are …."
"Dating. We haven't put a label on it yet."
Helen didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure how to parent a child in a same-sex relationship. Did she regard Clare's time with Fiona differently than her time with Alli? She hadn't been for months, but now they're together. What does this mean with boys? Does Clare even like them? She kept moving her lips, but not actually saying anything.
"What is it Mom?"
"I want to be supportive, but I don't know what to do."
"About what?"
"Rules and such. I had only been concerned about the time you spend with boys, but I'm not even sure if I should be concerned about them at all and how you dating Fiona factors into all of this."
"I don't really know either."
"Well, let's both think about it and talk later. Okay."
"Goodnight Mom."
Clare got up to her room and finally answered Alli's text. "The date was really nice."
She got a phone call like 10 seconds after she hit send. "I knew it went well when you didn't respond all night. How was dinner? Tell me everything."
"Well, dinner was fantastic. We went to this French bistro and the food was to die for, soft shell crab, I got salmon, we shared a chocolate mousse for dessert."
"I'm so jealous right now. I'm lucky if Dave does better than a cheeseburger for a date."
"Well, Fiona took out all of the bells and whistles. Afterwards, we went to an art gallery and showed each other our favorite collections, then the car drove me home."
"Anything happen in the car?"
"Yes." Clare laughed.
"Like beyond first base."
"More like second and a half."
"Whoa! Moving fast are we."
"It just seems very natural with her. I was always nervous about getting to physical in the past, well except for that one time I went to sleep with Eli, and he turned me down."
"He what?"
"He didn't want me to know he had a hoarding problem."
"What are you going to do on Monday?"
"About what?"
"About you and Fiona."
"Say hi to her like I always do. PDA is banned remember."
"I meant are you going to tell people?"
"I don't see why not. It's not a secret."
"It is big news. This is the first lesbian couple at Degrassi in years."
"I don't get why people care so much."
"People always care when the slightest thing changes. It's high school. We have nothing better to do than meddle in other people's business."
"I guess, but I don't want us to be seen as weird. We should be seen as any other couple. We just happen to be girls."
"The shock will wear off, eventually, but there will be some."
Monday rolled around, and Clare wished she didn't have to put on a stupid uniform. She put on some peacock earrings to try and mask the blahness of the her outfit. She got to school and after she got out of Jake's car, she looked around to see if Fiona had arrived yet. She had a few minutes before she had to get her books and waited on the steps outside. Fiona came by and Clare smiled when she saw her.
"Good Morn…." Fiona started to say before Clare kissed her, briefly, but enough to catch people's attention.
"Good Morning Fi." Clare took her hand and they went inside. Fiona wasn't sure if Clare wanted to "play it cool" or not. That was definitely better. The girls were beaming as they walked through the halls.
THE END