The Twelve Screams of Christmas

It had been five days since Flora had come to live with Kate. She had insisted on coming to school with her and none of the kids believed she was real. Kate became the Ghost Girl again. Courtney, of course, had refused to back her up.

Kate had tried to convince her to go back to her real family hundreds of times, but she refused, saying they weren't a real family. Kate was surprised they hadn't begged for her to return by now.

Little did she know that one day, they did.

"We didn't know," Aaron was saying. "We're sorry. Please, believe us. We didn't know how to get you back-"

"Please. We're sorry," wailed Ned, a tear streaking down his seethrough face.

"We just want to be a family again," said Peg. Her voice was calm - almost frustratingly so. "Please, Flora. Give us another chance."

"Please, Flora?" echoed Abe. "Please? If we knew, we'd rescue you. But we didn't. Please believe us."

Flora stepped forward a bit, and then immediately stopped. She stayed there, staring at them with a look of longing mixed with disgust. "I miss you," she whispered.

Peg started to say something, but Abe interrupted. "Remember that time where you poured flour all over our heads? Some of it got into our eyes. I never knew flour could stung that much! Ma went ballistic on you."

Flora laughed. She reached her hand out. "I miss you," she repeated.

"Come on, Flora," Peg begged. "Please. We can be a family again."

Flora walked towards them.

"That's right," Aaron urged. "We're sorry. So, so sorry..."

"I want to be a family again," said a Flora. She stepped forward again. And she engulfed her family in a hug. "I missed you," said Flora.

"We missed you too, Flora," said Aaron, smiling with tears in his eyes.

How I Met My Monster

I smiled as I took my usual seat next to my two friends, Lissa and Monroe. They started wolfing down their food immediately. They ate like monsters - probably because they were! I didn't have as much of an appetite as them, but I still had a pretty big one. The other kids stared at us with half horror and half disgust. A few shot out insults before throwing milk cartons at us - well, specifically me. I didn't care. I just smiled.

The other kids still picked on me, but I had Monroe and Lissa by my side. It never got so bad that I couldn't handle it, and I know what to do if it did.

And Harlan stopped picking on me! In fact, he's near terrified of me. I think he's realised I had something to do with all those times monsters invaded his house. The poor guy is an absolute paranoid wreck. He told his parents about us, but they didn't believe him, of course. They signed up to therapy. He looked so awful that I considered discussing with my friends to give him a break. You know. Just for a little while.

But for now, I was enjoying an awesome lunch with my awesome friends.

Planet of the Lawn Gnomes

This isn't right.

That was my last thought.

I thought that was my last thought.

I'm sort of disappointed that that was what I thought. Why couldn't I have, at the very least, thought "this is all my fault"? Or "what have I done"? Why did that stupid, stupid remark cloud up in my mind before I lost consciousness to the fiery, blazing flames?

And you know what's even worse than that?

That I'm not even really sorry.

I'm a terrible person. I deserve to be locked up forever. And yet...I'm not really sorry.

I remember feeling something similar to "this isn't right" as I saw the house erupt in flames. This shouldn't be happening. This doesn't make sense. This doesn't fit. Those weren't panicked thoughts, they were simply confused ones. I felt like there was something off, something confusing about how our house set on fire. Like I was reaching for something, clawing towards it, the missing puzzle piece that would explain why it felt so...off. I almost reached it, before I lost consciousness.

And..I'm not even really sorry.

The guilt should be crippling. It should be unbearable. But even when I tried my hardest to cough up the crippling guilt I felt I should be feeling, I couldn't bring more than a smidgeon that disappeared the second I got it.

Am I going crazy?

Son of Slappy

I am the son of Slappy.

There's nothing I can do to change that. My parents have given me medication after medication, sent me to paychiatrist after psychiatrist. But nothing will change that.

There's nothing I can do. Nothing to prevent my urges. So I might as well give in to them.* I wish I could save myself, somehow, but I've given up all hope. Let them think I'm crazy, because I am. Nobody can save me from this nightmare.

I started laughing, laughing, like a madman. I dipped my hands in something. I didn't know what.* I painted, I scraped, threw, I smashed, I played, and I laughed, laughed laughed, laughing all the way. It was fun and satisfying, oh so satisfying. The bang after bang, the crash after crash, the splat after splat, and the myriad of other noises. It sounded rhythmic, beautiful. Like an orchestra, clear, harmonious music.

My parents came in. I grabbed something and pointed it at them. Was that a bang I heard? I didn't know. But their bodies went limp. I made more beautiful noises. I think somebody else came in. I think somebody screamed. I think there was another bang. I knew that it was fun. Very fun. It was calming, relaxing, as if years of stress were boiling over.

I also know that I heard somebody say "Well done, son."

The Lizard of Oz

My parents have been teaching me to control my lizard urges.** It hasn't always been easy. More than once I've seen a delicious-looking mouse or insect scuttle by put in public, before my mouth started to practically drool. A few times this happened in school. A few other times I actually ate the animals (never in school, thank god). We can still eat human food, so we do that (I love KFC as much as ever) but we also occasionally hunt animals to eat because we need to eat just as much lizard food as human food.* Freddy is still extremely disturbed by the discovery that we're part lizard, but I'm just glad I wasn't going to die. I can still remember the horror I felt when I realised the marks on my lizard skin purse matched with the marks on my arm.

At the very least, Mom and Dad have been very supportive and understanding towards Freddy. They keep telling him he'll just accept it as a part of himself in a few months, or even years, if he's really stubborn. But I don't think he believes it.

Adele is terrified of me. Absolutely terrified. The only time she's spoken to me or even looked in my direction is very hurriedly and very quietly saying "excuse me" to me before practically sprinting past me. I almost feel bad for her. Almost.

The Haunter

Do you ever have those moments where you know, just know, that this moment is going to set in stone the relationship you have with someone for the rest of your life?

It's not necessarily the first time you meet them. It's just that establishing moment in your relationship with someone, good or bad.

I have two of those moments:

Moment One:

I wished the ground would swallow me up.

No, I wished it would pull me under the soil so that I could become part of the plants, growing excruciatingly slow, only when a random passerby (or the sky) happened to be generous enough to water me. Look, don't look at me, I failed sixth grade biology!

I didn't know what happened. One minute, I was just strolling, enjoying the nice weather, and another minute, Rubin Rubino was face down on the pavement with his skateboard upside down next to him, while two girls stared at him in shock and...was that amusement?

It occurred to me that I was probably the cause of his unflattering position at the moment. I was about to apologise, but then he looked up at me with a bloody nose and a look that couldn't be described as anything else but loathing.

"Um...sorry?" I offered meekly.

That just made him glare at me more.

Then, I heard giggling.

Giggling?

It was the two girls. I hoped - no, I prayed - that they were laughing at me. Because if it was the alternative...

Oops. It was the alternative.

I knew there was somebody who was going to be facing the consequences of that, and it wasn't Rubin - at least, not entirely. Nobody makes a fool out of Rubin Rubino. It's one of the first lessons everybody learns at my middle school.***

"I-I'm really sorry!" I sputtered, deciding to act like I would if I tripped over a normal person on a skateboard who wasn't Rubin Rubino. "Can I take you to the infirmary or-"

Oops. Bad choice. That just made his glare even more intense, if that was possible. And as he stood up, grabbing his skateboard, his nose still bleeding, I realised something.

In the future, I was in for a world of hurt. And humiliation.

So when he tripped me over in the cafeteria the next day, I can't say I was entirely surprised.

Memory 2:

I stared at the beautiful girl who had just saved my life.

She was gorgeous. In every possible way. Her flowing blonde - no, gold - locks of hair were exquisite and stunning and a bunch of other words you use to describe hair. Behind a thick blonde bang down her face she sported the most stunning pair of blue eyes I had ever seen.**** Her face radiated beauty and softness and a bunch of other good things.

I ignored that I was half naked, in front of my entire science class. I ignored that the other kids were either screaming, hollering, or laughing. I ignored that my volcano project was ruined. All I cared about was the beautiful girl in front of me.

I knew then, that she had saved my life, and I was forever indebted to her.

But I wasn't entirely surprised at, two weeks later, she seemed to have completely forgotten about me.

Here Comes the Shaggedy

Kelli Andersen was half-woken by an ear-piercing scream. As she was only half awake, the scream seemed like an echo, so far away. She groaned and turned around, but the scream persisted. She knew she ought to check up on it, but at the moment she was really really tried and really wished the annoying scream would just stop...

Immediately after that thought, it did stop. She let out a sigh of relief, snuggling closer into her pillow.

...And not a minute after, she was rudely woken - again - by a door opening, a scuffling, a pair of hands shaking her.

She groaned, turning, but the shaking persisted. She stumbled out of sleep and turned angrily to confront the person who dared interrupt her blissful slumber-

It was her brother, Shawn.

Of course. She should have known.

"What are you doing here?" she grumbled.

"Nothing," said Shawn quickly, hurrying off the bed. "Nothing. I'll just go back to sleep now-"

"Nothing?" Kelli said shrilly. "You woke me up at 3am for nothing?"

"It's four am."

"Whatever!" Kelli snapped. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you, it's nothing," said Shawn. "Forget it. Just go back to bed."

"Wait," Kelli called as Shawn started to leave. "Shawn...did you have a bad dream?" She almost kicked herself. One minute she was fighting tooth and nail to get back to sleep, and the next she was asking her waker about his problems?

"What-no!" said Shawn. "I just went to get a glass of water, that's all."

Kelli was about to roll her eyes, pretend to believe his lame excuse, call him a wimp, and then descend back into dreamland, but something stopped her. It was a tug of...loneliness? And unease? Loneliness and unease from what? Being in this creaky cottage in this big swamp, away from the comforting noise and buzz of New York? Her friend never answering her texts, as if she had forgotten all about her?***** Having that humiliating picture of her be on the front page of the town newspaper and probably turning her into the town laughingstock? (She dreaded waking up tomorrow and confirming if that was the case.) Those creepy twin boys pulling pranks on her and her brother (and once pushing them into the river, leading to that embarrassing picture) and spreading rumours about a monster that resided in the swamp?

It occurred to her that Shawn might be feeling the same unease and loneliness. It then occurred to her that he might have had that nightmare due to all the scary movies she'd forced him to watch, and that he might be so hesitant to admit that he had had a nightmare because of all the times she'd teased him. These realisations brought her no guilt.

Well. Maybe a smidgeon. A tiny smidgeon.

Kelli couldn't believe what she was about to say. "C'mere."

"What?" Shawn gaped.

"Come here," she repeated. "Onto my bed. To say...whatever you wanted to say when you woke me up." Maybe she was just lonely and desperate. Maybe she just wanted to know she wasn't alone I never being scared and lonely.

Either way, she expected Shawn to protest, but he immediately jumped onto her bed. "Oww," Kelli moaned. "You're elbowing my stomach."

"Sorry." Shawn turned on the nightlight.

She waited a few minutes for Shawn to speak, but when he didn't, she decided to. "I hate it here," she whispered. "I wish I was back home in New York."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "What else is new? You've been whining about that since we go to here!"

"Well, so have you!" Kelli retorted. She cringed as she decided to say something incredibly babyish and wimpy. But, oh, what the heck. She had downright invited Shawn to crawl onto her bed after a nightmare like they were eight and seven again, so she already wasn the in her right state of mind. And Shawn would probably forget by morning, anyway. "I..I'm scared, Shawn," she sputtered.

She expected Shawn to start gloating. But instead he said, in a small voice, "so am I."

"Can you believe that I actually miss our apartment back in New York?" said Kelli. "That dirty, cramped apartment with our tiny little flat, with cars roaring outside and babies wailing every two seconds?"

Shawn snorted. "Remember that lady who lived right next door to us who had that baby who seemed to be permanently crying?"

"Are you sure that baby wasn't you?" Kelli teased.

"Shuddup," Shawn grumbled.

There was a silence.

"I can't believe what those creep twins did to us," Kelli grumbled. "Pushing us into the lake like that...what did I ever do to them?"

"Well, you did construct that fake prank, causing Dad to come yell at them for something they didn't do-"

"Okay, okay," said Kelli. "I get it. I was selfish and stupid. But they didn't have to push me into the lake!" She groaned. "And now I'm totally humiliated. I'll be the town laughingstock. My life is ruined. I-"

"Geez, cut it out with the melodrama, Kelli," said Shawn. "It's just a random photo, not the end of the world."

Kelli glared at him.

"I mean...maybe it won't be so bad?" Shawn offered.

"Not helping," Kelli sighed.

There was an almost silence before Shawn shrieked so loudly Kelli's eardums felt like they were going to burst.

"What is it now, Shawn?" said Kelli, sighing yet again.

"A-a spider!" Shawn shrieked, pointing.

Kelli followed his gaze. Squinting, she could just barely make out a spider, just barely visible in the dim glow of the nightlight, no bigger than her big toe.

Kelli sighed - again. "Shawn, for the love of-"

"Kelli, just get rid of it?" Shawn pleaded. "Please?"

Kelli raised her eyes to heaven. Was she really eight years old again? Next he'd be asking her to get him a glass of water.

"...okay," Kelli said after several long moments of Shawn nervously staring at the other end of the room. She obliged and when she entered the room again, it was spider free.

"Thanks, Kells!" Shawn chirped. "You're the best."

"Don't call me Kells," Kelli grumbled, sliding into bed next to him. She smirked. "You really are a wimp."

"Shut up."

There was a pause. Then:

"Can you get me a glass of water?"

Okay, that was overboard.

"Get it yourself," Kelli snapped. "You're not a baby."******

Shawn sighed. Good old Kelli was back.

*OUT-OF-CONTEXT TEXT ALERT

**That is a sentence I just typed...Jesus Christ.

***Forgot the name of Sammy's high school.

****Forgot what Sammy's crush Summer's eye colour is. I know she has blonde hair, so I decided to just go with the generic blue-eyed blondie.

*****Forgot what the name of Kelli's friend is.

******Quote stolen from How I Got My Shrunken Head.

What do you think? I might do one for "A Nightmare on Clown Street" if I get around to reading it (there's a copy at my local library). My fave ficlet was the Shaggedy one.