Disclaimer: I own nothing but a lovely Pez dispenser collection. Truly
Author's Note: Oh my gosh, I love Lord of the Rings so much, and it was so hard to write a fanfic about the misadventures of Frodo and co. because it just was. But this is my attempt. If it is Lord of the Rings fanfiction you seek, I strongly urge you to read "Dude, Where's my Ring?" because it is the best LOTR story I have ever read and I don't know how they can write that much and be so completely hilarious.
P.S. Hi to bunnyb, the best writer of funny Harry Potter poetry on the planet, even without her asterisks.
Story:
It was a beautiful, sunny, cold and miserable day that dawned on Hobbiton. Frodo woke up and looked out his windows at the brightly colored gray flowers and the quaint little giant hobbit holes across the road. Frodo got out of bed and walked into his kitchen. His very ambiguous friend Sam was already awake and cooking scones and hot chocolate.
"Sam, I think something exciting is going to happen today." Said Frodo, taking the mug of steaming hot chocolate Sam was offering him.
"Really Mr. Frodo? That's strange, nothing exciting ever happens here in the Shire." Suddenly Bilbo appeared.
"Hello all, nice to see you. I must go." Then he grew great fuchsia wings and flew straight through the roof singing "It's Raining Men"
"Well now, that's something you don't see everyday!" said Sam looking at the gaping hole in the ceiling of Bag End. "I think Mr. Bilbo finally lost it."
"Hey look, he left his all-powerful evil ring to me" said Frodo looking at an envelope with a ring in it.
"How do you know it's all-powerful and evil?" asked Sam.
"There's a note on the envelope that says, 'Frodo, this ring is all- powerful and evil.'"
Suddenly, the two hobbits heard voices from the other room. They walked in to see Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli sitting by the fire and talking. Aragorn was knitting.
"Guys, are you sure you like my new haircut? It's not too short?" asked Aragorn.
"No, not at all. I really like it." Said Gimli, "Where did you get it done?"
"That place in Rohan between Fifth and Madison."
"Oh yeah, what's it called? La Moda, I think?"
"Yeah, that's the place"
"It is a very sad day when an elf become the most manly guy in a room." Said Legolas in disgust.
"AAAHHHH! Help me! An elven prince, a dwarf, and an exiled king are trying to rob me!" screamed Frodo running out of Bag End.
"We aren't trying to rob you," said Legolas, "we're here to help you destroy the ring. Gandalf sent us."
"Oh yeah? Well then where is he?" Gandalf suddenly walked in carrying a staff.
"Hello, Frodo. These are my friends, Prince Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood, Aragorn son of Arathorn, and Gimli. . . just Gimli. They are here to help you destroy the evil ring your uncle has left you."
"Are you sure there's nobody else who should be coming on our quest?" asked Sam suspiciously.
"Positive," said Gandalf, "the story is shorter this way."
"Good idea!" said everyone in unison.
"Now," began Gandalf, "to destroy this ring we must take it to the fiery pits of Mount Doom. We will face unspeakable evil and blood-chilling horror. Most likely, we will not leave Mordor alive."
"Why don't we just call Captain Planet? He'll destroy the ring right now." Said Legolas, the smart one of the Fellowship.
Everyone except Gandalf agreed this was the best idea. Gandalf still wanted to go to Mount Doom because he thought it would make a better story.
"Fire!" shouted Gimli.
"Earth!" shouted Aragorn.
"Wind!" shouted Legolas.
"Water!" shouted Frodo.
"Heart!" shouted Sam, followed by, "Aww! Why do I get the gay power?"
"You know why." Said Gandalf.
"By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!" said the Captain. Then Captain Planet destroyed the evil Ring of Power and Sauron let out a great cry of defeat on his dark throne in Mordor, and the shadow was lifted and everyone was happy and giggly.
Then Captain Planet said, "My work here is done" and he disappeared.
"That was fun!" said Frodo.
"Yeah!" said Aragorn.
"Your work is far from over!" said Gandalf cryptically, "You must . . . um . . . embark on a great quest. It's very important. I'm going to see Saruman."
"Why?"
"Just go, I'll meet you at Bree." And with that he departed in a puff of smoke.
The fellowship, which consisted of Aragorn son of Arathorn exiled king of Gondor, Legolas the cute one of the Fellowship and elven prince of Mirkwood, Frodo son of Drogo and former Ringbearer, Sam the ambiguous, and Gimli . . . just Gimli, looked at each other. "Do you guys want to see my scarf?" asked Aragorn pulling out his knitting.
"No, we have to leave. You heard Gandalf, we have to go to Bree." Said Legolas, the manly one of the Fellowship.
TO BE CONTINUED?
Maybe one or two more chapters, I have a very short attention span. The best way to make sure I never write again would be to not review. *Subtle Hint*
Author's Note: Oh my gosh, I love Lord of the Rings so much, and it was so hard to write a fanfic about the misadventures of Frodo and co. because it just was. But this is my attempt. If it is Lord of the Rings fanfiction you seek, I strongly urge you to read "Dude, Where's my Ring?" because it is the best LOTR story I have ever read and I don't know how they can write that much and be so completely hilarious.
P.S. Hi to bunnyb, the best writer of funny Harry Potter poetry on the planet, even without her asterisks.
Story:
It was a beautiful, sunny, cold and miserable day that dawned on Hobbiton. Frodo woke up and looked out his windows at the brightly colored gray flowers and the quaint little giant hobbit holes across the road. Frodo got out of bed and walked into his kitchen. His very ambiguous friend Sam was already awake and cooking scones and hot chocolate.
"Sam, I think something exciting is going to happen today." Said Frodo, taking the mug of steaming hot chocolate Sam was offering him.
"Really Mr. Frodo? That's strange, nothing exciting ever happens here in the Shire." Suddenly Bilbo appeared.
"Hello all, nice to see you. I must go." Then he grew great fuchsia wings and flew straight through the roof singing "It's Raining Men"
"Well now, that's something you don't see everyday!" said Sam looking at the gaping hole in the ceiling of Bag End. "I think Mr. Bilbo finally lost it."
"Hey look, he left his all-powerful evil ring to me" said Frodo looking at an envelope with a ring in it.
"How do you know it's all-powerful and evil?" asked Sam.
"There's a note on the envelope that says, 'Frodo, this ring is all- powerful and evil.'"
Suddenly, the two hobbits heard voices from the other room. They walked in to see Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli sitting by the fire and talking. Aragorn was knitting.
"Guys, are you sure you like my new haircut? It's not too short?" asked Aragorn.
"No, not at all. I really like it." Said Gimli, "Where did you get it done?"
"That place in Rohan between Fifth and Madison."
"Oh yeah, what's it called? La Moda, I think?"
"Yeah, that's the place"
"It is a very sad day when an elf become the most manly guy in a room." Said Legolas in disgust.
"AAAHHHH! Help me! An elven prince, a dwarf, and an exiled king are trying to rob me!" screamed Frodo running out of Bag End.
"We aren't trying to rob you," said Legolas, "we're here to help you destroy the ring. Gandalf sent us."
"Oh yeah? Well then where is he?" Gandalf suddenly walked in carrying a staff.
"Hello, Frodo. These are my friends, Prince Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood, Aragorn son of Arathorn, and Gimli. . . just Gimli. They are here to help you destroy the evil ring your uncle has left you."
"Are you sure there's nobody else who should be coming on our quest?" asked Sam suspiciously.
"Positive," said Gandalf, "the story is shorter this way."
"Good idea!" said everyone in unison.
"Now," began Gandalf, "to destroy this ring we must take it to the fiery pits of Mount Doom. We will face unspeakable evil and blood-chilling horror. Most likely, we will not leave Mordor alive."
"Why don't we just call Captain Planet? He'll destroy the ring right now." Said Legolas, the smart one of the Fellowship.
Everyone except Gandalf agreed this was the best idea. Gandalf still wanted to go to Mount Doom because he thought it would make a better story.
"Fire!" shouted Gimli.
"Earth!" shouted Aragorn.
"Wind!" shouted Legolas.
"Water!" shouted Frodo.
"Heart!" shouted Sam, followed by, "Aww! Why do I get the gay power?"
"You know why." Said Gandalf.
"By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!" said the Captain. Then Captain Planet destroyed the evil Ring of Power and Sauron let out a great cry of defeat on his dark throne in Mordor, and the shadow was lifted and everyone was happy and giggly.
Then Captain Planet said, "My work here is done" and he disappeared.
"That was fun!" said Frodo.
"Yeah!" said Aragorn.
"Your work is far from over!" said Gandalf cryptically, "You must . . . um . . . embark on a great quest. It's very important. I'm going to see Saruman."
"Why?"
"Just go, I'll meet you at Bree." And with that he departed in a puff of smoke.
The fellowship, which consisted of Aragorn son of Arathorn exiled king of Gondor, Legolas the cute one of the Fellowship and elven prince of Mirkwood, Frodo son of Drogo and former Ringbearer, Sam the ambiguous, and Gimli . . . just Gimli, looked at each other. "Do you guys want to see my scarf?" asked Aragorn pulling out his knitting.
"No, we have to leave. You heard Gandalf, we have to go to Bree." Said Legolas, the manly one of the Fellowship.
TO BE CONTINUED?
Maybe one or two more chapters, I have a very short attention span. The best way to make sure I never write again would be to not review. *Subtle Hint*