A warm breeze broke through the apartment as the clouds began to gather and darken overhead. A storm was coming and it was going to be a big one. I ran around the apartment, pulling plants in and shutting windows before the storm could start.
It was so nice earlier, how come rain had to spoil a perfect afternoon? I shook my head at the thought.
As much as I loved the sunshine and the hot weather, there were times when the rain clouds came above my head. I loved the rainy weather and the things you could do with it, like movies, tea filled mugs, reading... the possibilities were almost endless.
I was shutting the last window in my bedroom when a creaking noise alerted me of another's presence in the apartment. I slowly made my way from my room and down the hall, heading toward the kitchen and living room.
A dark shadow was closing the window behind it as water dripped from his grey costume into large puddles on the floor. It turned at the sound of my bare feet against the floor, revealing a red and white painted face with golden-yellow eyes. Blood covered his lips and chin, dripping down to land on his white ruffled collar and grey suit with three red pom poms down his front. Blood and water also soaked his black and white boots, which stood in the mixture beneath his feet. His ginger hair was soaked, almost pressed flat against his scalp from the intensity of the rain outside.
I crossed my arms and smirked at the clown, "Playing in the rain, are we?"
"Wouldn't be wet if someone left the windows open," Pennywise growled, smiling his razors at me before the two of us burst into laughter.
That's when I noticed he was gasping a tad bit, as if he was trying to catch his breath.
"Pen-?"
The clown pulled a switchblade out, "Might need a little help, Lizzie-bean."
I took the offending item and tossed it across the room before looking at the wound. It was already healing over, quicker than a normal person's healing factor, but some of the blood keeping it from healing completely.
I sat him down at one of the stools by the island and grabbed a bowl, filling it with warm water and a cloth from the cupboard in the bathroom. I looked over the wound carefully and pressed the wet cloth against the wound, removing the blood and assisting the wound to close over.
"Did your meal fight back this time?"
Pennywise's dark chuckle resonated from deep in his chest as I moved from the wound and began to clean the blood from his face, "Indeed. Those little brats had what was coming to them though."
"You're messy."
"That just means I enjoyed the meal. Though, I do remember the last time you had a cloth pressed to my chest to save my life. Do you remember, Lizzie-bean?"
"Yes... I remember."
Lizzie walked through the sewers, flashlight in hand and looking all around her, hoping to spot the bright colors of Pennywise the clown. The last time she had been down here was when he had freed her and ate Tyson before she disappeared down the long winding tunnels.
Lizzie had tried to explain what had happened as soon as she returned home, but both parents told her to take her head from the clouds and help with the search for her missing brother.
Then things had started to go from bad to worse after the discovery of Tyson's mangled body in the Canal a week later.
Her father beat her, claiming that Tyson would still be alive if Lizzie wasn't born, as her mother only watched in horror before he smacked her across the face as well. The other three children would be in their rooms or in Tyson's room, mourning the loss of their brother, as well as avoiding Lizzie like she was infested with the black plague.
Bruises and scratches began appearing on her skin and depression sunk under Lizzie's skin like sharp claws, digging deeper and deeper with the intent to kill. When she could no longer take it, she stowed away one night and went straight to the sewers.
Lizzie clutched her doll close to her chest, half hoping that Pennywise would jump out a scare her before killing her. The other half of her wanted Pennywise to be the comfort she could no longer have at home. She wanted to stay here, in the darkness, with the creature that had shown her a bit of kindness and killed one of her greatest enemies.
Water splashed as she continued onward, light flashing this way and that. No sign of the clown nor any of her fears made Lizzie worried then. Where was he?
The long water-filled corridor that Lizzie was walking in eventually ended at a familiar sight. A large round metal door was slightly ajar and when Lizzie opened it, it revealed that all too familiar sight of the mound of toys, Pennywise's wagon, and the children who floated high above it.
Lizzie trembled at the sight, fear creeping into her heart, before a loud cough echoed in the chamber. It was loud and ugly, sounding like someone who had a chest cold or a baby who had RSV. It continued for a few more minutes before silence returned.
Lizzie could smell the scent of the sewers, but she could also smell the heavy scent of iron... blood.
She took timid steps into the chamber, doll clutched in her arms protectively. Her eyes widened as she walked around the toys and bones before discovering a form laying crumpled on the ground with a long iron wrought stake through its chest.
It was Pennywise.
"Penny?" Lizzie saw the clown move it's head slowly in her direction and grinned a little at her, blood dripping from his mouth.
He couldn't speak, he couldn't move. Just stared at her, as if this would be the last.
Lizze dropped the doll and rushed forward, her little hands falling on the stake before pulling. It took a few tugs from the determined child, but eventually the iron stake released Pennywise, who gasped out as blood floated up out of his chest. Lizzie tore at the clown's ruffled collar, taking a piece of lace and pressing it against the clown's bleeding chest. Lizzie's hands trembled as she pressed the lace against the wound harder and harder, tears spilling down her cheeks and her hands now coated in blood.
"Lizzie... Lizzie-bean... stop," a gloved hand touched the back of her head and the child looked up at Pennywise.
He was smiling, bunny teeth pressed against his bottom lip as his other hand wrapped around Lizzie's much smaller hands, pulling the blood-soaked lace away from his chest. Lizzie stared in awe as the wound closed over, revealing nothing more than a scar through the hole of the clown's costume.
"Any much longer and I would've been a dead monster," Pennywise giggled, his voice dark and grim as his eyes looked up to meet the child's face. She was still staring at him, eyes wide and jaw hanging open.
"Lizzie, you're attracting flies with your mouth open like that."
The young girl's jaw shut before her eyes looked up to meet his.
The clown ruffled the top of her head before attempting to stand. Pain shot through him, causing him to sit back down next to Lizzie. Apparently he was still healing from that latest blow.
"What are you doing down here?"
"I should be asking what happened," Lizzie's little voice echoed in the chamber, filled with worry and fear for her friend.
The clown chuckled, "Got into a scuffle, Lizzie-bean. Five losers from back in the day when your parents were kids. They... wanted to kill me."
"But I thought you couldn't die," Lizzie cocked her head, "Can you?"
"All creatures can die, Lizzie-bean. Some die of age, others by accident. I, well, I can die if the hit is accurate. But it would seem I'm going to live to fight another day."
Lizzie watched, her hands balled into fists on her pajama pants, as Pennywise cracked his neck before shaking himself.
"You... you asked me what I was doing down here," Lizzie's voice broke the silence.
The clown nodded, indicating for her to continue.
"I-I want to die, Pennywise. I can't take it anymore," her voice began to crack as her tears swelled up, streaking her dirty cheeks. She began blubbering, trying to speak through the sobs that came from her mouth.
Pennywise eyes narrowed, slightly annoyed but also felt his heart nearly stop at the thought of her wanting to die. He reached forward and pulled the trembling child into his chest, resting a hand on the small of her back and the other on her dark hair, allowing her to cry into him.
It took a few moments, but once Lizzie was calm down enough, she explained everything that had happened since she last saw him, including the recent secret she had discovered.
It turns out she wasn't her father's daughter and she could no longer call him "daddy," but had to call him George. It was so much of a change and she wanted to leave this world because she felt unwanted, felt unloved.
"Lizzie-bean, there will be a time for your death. But it is not tonight."
"I don't wanna go back home, Pennywise. It's dark and scary. It hurts so much."
The clown rested his cheek a top of the little girl's head, "I know, Lizzie-bean. But you can't float with me like the others. I don't even know why you can't. Believe me when I say that I wish you could. But, for now, you need to stay away from here. You don't belong in the sewers, you belong out there and living."
Lizzie nodded her head in understanding. She wanted to, how she wanted to float with the other kids that were high above their heads. It was a frightening thought, but it would be better than getting beaten nearly to death.
She felt the clown shift under her, standing up.
"Come on, Lizzie-bean. I'll take you home."
I had barely remembered the trip back to my parent's home, I might have fallen asleep on the way there. I did recall, however, Pennywise placing me into the safety of my bed, tucking the covers close and the doll even closer. A kiss on my forehead and a few words of gratitude for pulling the iron stake from his chest, then he was gone. Nothing more than a shadow that eventually faded.
That was the last time I saw Pennywise. A week later, after Tyson's funeral, my family packed up and left Derry to put the past behind. We moved to upstate New York and lived in a large farmhouse until each of us kids moved out. Now here I was again, twenty-seven years later, and living a childhood that many would have forgotten about.
The wash cloth was tossed in the trash and the bloody water was poured down the drain to go back to the sewers. I turned back to Pennywise as he examined the hole in his suit.
"And damn it all, I just had this thing fixed!" The clown grumbled.
"Was the meal enough to satisfy?" I chuckled.
The clown looked upward, as if debating with himself, before nodding his approval, "They would've been a lot tastier if they had more fear in them though."
Notes:
Okay, so there's a bit to unpack here and I'll just explain it briefly.
Lizzie's mother, Angie, had an affair outside her marriage bed and ended up becoming pregnant. She didn't believe in abortions, so she didn't have one and the truth of who the father actually was came out after Lizzie was born. Her hair got darker as she got older and her eyes remained a pale blue instead of growing darker like the rest of her siblings.
Angie's husband, George, suspected Angie had an affair and confronted her about it. She did confess, hoping that George would love and care for Lizzie like she was his own. She, however, didn't count on him being a man that wouldn't want to raise someone else's kid.
And because George treated Lizzie different from the other children, Lizzie's siblings followed suit and began hurting Lizzie because their father was doing it.
I will do a kind of follow up piece that will give us an idea of who Lizzie's father actually is and, no, it's not Pennywise.