Etrian Odyssey: Dangerus' Seyfried

The Abyssal King had no idea that the Dangerus guild was beginning to warm up to him as he warmed up to them. At first they seemed cold and unpromising for him. But they still tried their best to help the Gatekeeper out of trouble, and even if they failed, he still found hope in their eyes.

Their next mission was simple. Hear Yggdrasil's voice in the Abyssal Shrine.

But they were training down there instead. As if predicting a mysterious being would show up to hurt them... Shin?

It didn't matter. Once they got back, he somehow felt happy. But why? They still haven't finished the mission.

He began to fall asleep, only for their youngest member, a small blonde prince, to wake him up.

"Hey, Seyfried?"

He looked up to see the prince was on top of him.

"G-g-ge-GET OFF! This isn't really right you know... You know..."

Seyfried pushed the boy off.

"Did you have a funny feeling about being King? I mean, was it hard for you?"

"Yes. I had to take in a lot of responsibility!"

"Really? How much?"

"Are you questioning me?"

"I'm just wondering... Someday I'm going to be a king, too!"

The boy was starting to scare Seyfried.

"Of what country?"

"Well, it's pretty far away... But it's north of here if you want to wonder... Many of my siblings compete for the throne in Armoroad... To see how far we go down... So far, I have many older brothers and sisters that beat me to it... but I'll get to the end so I'm next in line as well!"

"What's stalling you?"

"Well... for starters... We have you.", the boy grinned.

"What?", Seyfried gasped.

He was soon gagged by the boy's kiss. He was trying to makeout with him.

He cried for help, except he was muffled. Not even Olympia could hear him.

Seyfried thought making out with the youngest member was going to be the worst for him. With the members still looking at him funny, he felt as if he were trapped in a prison. He was worried they'll tell on him to the rest of Armoroad... Or worse. Side with Armoroad because of it.

Then the busty Buccaneer, Alistar, waved hello to him.

What a sign of relief. One of them was still nice to him... Or so he thought.

"Sit over here, your majesty!"

"Why so formal? You're a Buccaneer, aren't you usually rebellious towards royalty?"

"Well, Flappy, our little prince over there, is one of the few nice guys in royalty out there! You might be a possible other, as well."

Seyfried walked towards her, at first he saw the empty seat and tried to sit there, but Alistar groped him to her lap.

"W-wh-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"It's a female pirate thing. They see a guy they like, they try to sit them next to her."

"But where you put your hand...", Seyfried blushed.

"It's not a big deal. Male pirates do the exact same thing to their future wives."

"W-wa-wait... You do know how old I am, right?"

"You're approximately 117 years old. But it's okay. Age gaps never stopped my papa from marrying my now 93-year-old mum."

He was hoping she was drunk.

"Are you drunk?"

"No... That'll be Alcohol over there.", Alistar pointed out.

Alcohol, the other Buccaneer turned, "Ladies! Is there any room for one more?"

Seyfried wanted off Alistar's lap.

Alcohol's beer goggles were totally on.

"BIG BROTHER!", the pink haired beauty pouted.

"I'll be careful! I just didn't know you were lesbian!"

Alcohol's beer breath made Seyfried choke, but he felt bad Alistar was being teased by his brother. Then again, he worried he may be no different once upon a time, when he and his sister were just kids.

"At least I got a first mate! Once we explore the Labyrinth, we'll sail together, while you just turn into an Armoroad bum!"

"Now that's not a nice thing to tell your big brother...",

Alcohol's red hair got in Seyfried's face. They were going to fight.

"C'mon you guys! Let's settle this nicely!", Seyfried said in a sweet voice. He hoped that Alistar would listen to him.

"He's right sis... Let's see which sibling your 'First Mate' likes better!"

Seyfried gasped. They were doing to fight over him.

First was Alcohol. He brought him in the Aman's Inn, and unspeakable things happened to him there... Some even involved an accidental Volt Star to his behind.

Next was Alistar. He hoped that she wouldn't be as scary as her brother. She happened to practice being a Kunoichi as well... She summoned a Shadow Clone.

"Uhh... I think one of you is a better idea...", Seyfried muttered, scared.

"If you say so...", Alistar sighed, snapping her fingers to make her Shadow Clone go away.

"Why are you and your brother doing this?", Seyfried cried.

"We are closely twins... but that doesn't mean we still don't have sibling rivalries and what not.", Alistar muttered.

She began to lean him on the Twinkling Tavern bed.

He was nervous. He was worried she'll knife him.

"You look cute when you get angry... But right now you look scared... That's even cuter."

Then she went to work on him.

Seyfried refused to leave the Celestial Palace because of the situation. First, a prince, then two Buccaneers, one being a drunkard with a Zodiac subclass... He was worried the other two members might make fun of them both and call Seyfried unspeakable things.

"King!"

He turned to see a perky Wildling girl with a bright smile and nice golden eyes. Her hair was a wild brown. She had her lion behind her roaring, and her spear clearly sharpened.

"King! Let us go!", the Wildling, known as Nadjaki in her native tribe, and now currently being called that by her party, declared.

"What? I-I can't... I'm busy."

"Why King busy?"

She leaned forward.

"I have duties as King to protect my Deep City!", Seyfried announced.

"King worry too much.", she giggled.

Nadjaki was pretty strong for a Wildling, as she carried him on top of the lion, without him knowing it.

"Let go of me, this instant!", he roared.

"I want to show King something!"

"What is it?"

When they got there, he saw the sun, setting down ready to turn the skies into a dark blue. They both got off the lion to see this happen.

"It's beautiful..."

"It a summer night... It begin the last mating season."

"Mating season?"

Then she pushed him on the ground. She was on top of him now.

"I know why the beasts mate this time of year... Perfect time for cubs... I want cubs too."

Seyfried's eyes widened as she began to kiss him.

Then she began the act of mating. Courting him was the easiest part. That's why she brought him there.

Now with the other member, Seyfried now prayed he wasn't like the others... with their minds in the gutter and their hearts set on him. He was a young monk, with black hair covering his glasses and amber eyes if you removed them both.

He was named Puera and he was sparring with Alcohol in order to help him be as powerful as everyone else.

He was relieved he wasn't paying attention to him.

He decided why not take a bath in order to think over if he still wanted to trust the guild of Dangerus, or at least their leading members.

Then he thought about it. Never in the years he lived had he ever been kissed before, or better yet, even more. Flappy was pretty tame compared to his other three members, because he only made out. But the others... Does he even feel like a King anymore?

Then someone was in the restroom. Seyfried didn't know who it was. He prayed it was just Olympia deciding to protect him, as usual.

Then he opened the curtain to see.

"Olym-Puera?", Seyfried gasped.

"Woah! I thought you were Olympia! Even Yggdroids can get dirty!"

"You're really a true pervert, aren't you...", Seyfried moaned furiously.

"Yup! But don't tell Alistar and Nadjaki! I may peep on them, but they also were the guys that brought me into this guild in the first place!"

"Well, I won't tell if you just GET OUT!", Seyfried shouted, tossing a soap at him.

It bonked him upside the head, making him fall on the tiled floor.

It looked like he was starting to bleed from the back of his head.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I guess I didn't know my strength, back there!", Seyfried said as he took out a Medica II for him to eat before he slowly began to die.

Puera woke up with his head fixed thanks to a servant in the Twinkling Tavern.

"Puera?", Alistar and Nadjaki asked him, hoping he was okay.

He was furious. He ran back to the Celestial Palace where he saw the King sitting on his throne as usual.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR? WE WERE BOTH GUYS! IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S A BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING!", Puera roared. The young monk was not amused.

"It IS a big deal. I really didn't know what was going on in your sick mind... Whatever you do, don't you dare lay a finger on my sister!"

"Sister?"

"I mean... my friend... Olympia..."

"Oh... Now I know why you got so defensive...", the monk then purred.

"Huh?"

The monk leaned in to see the king's face.

"Yeah... You do kind of look like Olympia a little bit..."

The King was going to push him away, but the monk blocked his hand away and swiftly caught him off guard.

He was pushed off his throne and his hands were now held by the monk in question, Puera.

"Whatever you're planning to do to me... don't do it! Or else I... I'll kick you out of here!"

"But what about our mission?"

Seyfried then gulped.

"Look, why I was after you was because I don't even know how to use your magic powder you gave us. The others really did have feelings for you... but I just want you to tell me because you sound smart... You won Nadjaki and Alistar over!"

Now Seyfried got it. Puera was jealous. But how did he know that Alistar and Nadjaki... did it with him?

"Why else were you taking a shower? The girls seemed smitten and giggling as if they stole a guy's first kiss! And you... You seemed a bit tense when I started to talk about the girls. You even kicked me out once I mentioned their names! Lucky bastard!", Puera pouted.

That's when things got even more awkward.

"So... How were they?"

Seyfried said nothing. He was too scared to even call Olympia over to kick Puera out.

"If you won't tell me, then I'll have to force it out of you...", the monk said as he then started to make out with him.

The makeout session became much more as Seyfried was still not speaking to him.

Then after a while, he cried out, "You haven't finished looking around in the fourteenth floor for stairs, have you?"

"WHAT? You mean we have to move around in the fourteenth floor some more?"

"Yes..."

"Inconceivable... Well, it matters not what happens now... Tell me how you won the girls over..."

"I... don't... KNOW!", Seyfried cried.

"Well, don't you lie to me... I'll force the truth out of you!"

...and so the Abyssal King finally cried out for Olympia's help and forced the crazed monk off of him.

As for the mission... They're finally on their own now. Now he hoped that if Puera's four party members really loved him, they'd just have to finish the quest... and finally travel the Labyrinth.

But until then, he won't say any more about the smitten party.

OH DEAR LORD, WHAT HAVE I DONE! I MADE A SMUT! SEYFRIED SMUT!

-sigh- Well, at least it's another Etrian Odyssey III fic. I've always wanted to make a Seyfried story. I hope my second one won't be as smutty.

Sorry if critics will tell me he's a robot/cyborg-esque guy or other weird stuff as well. I still haven't gotten too far in the game yet.