Rena
By:Sara Tierney
Have you ever looked at someone and known that it was impossible to look at them the same way again? Maybe in knowing someone's story a part of you seems to reach somewhat of an understanding…..complicated words for an ogdango atama, I know.. But you know, Sometimes it's hard to know it all and maybe if people were left Naïve and unknowing of the world and what can happen to people maybe our own hearts would be saved with grief. But maybe is a weak word for I could go on with maybe's for years and it would still be nothing, like a promise never quite fulfilled. Last night I sat by my window and stared into the darkness, I embraced myself and watched the cars go by as the night turned cold and dark. Though I don't know why something caught the corner of my eye and I sat up only to see a tiny blue book. It said, "Hope" on the cover and on the Inside the name rena was written in childish lettering.
The sky was dark and dismal as I rose out of bed and turned the lights on. My house was always quiet in the morning not a sound was ever heard.Sometimes the silence frightened me, and I'd have to turn on a radio just to hear another's voice. I put my diary down and started to brush out my hair.
Before my Mother passed away she gave me this diary to write in.I was usually depressed but one thing I always loved to do was write, I could write for hours on end describign anything. But when she gave it to me I hugged her and smiled and looked at the book..the first word that came to mind was hope...and that's what my story would be called...Hope
I sighed and stared off into space.. I guess I really don't know how long I was staring off untail I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped nearly knocking over my lamp My sister, Shigurei had her hand on my shoulder, and she started to cry. It was always hard to see Shigurei cry..she was always the stronger one out of us.She niffled wiped her nose and tried to smile through her tears. "Rena..we'll make it somehow.." And to me that was as if she had said the craziest thing in the world at that time..and I did make it ..but not then and If I knew what was yet to come..maybe I would have ran away that very day..and not looked back.
One thing I can say about my mother, she had a kind heart and a free spirit one thing she always loved,was the rain. But she was dead...and now we had noone….noone but my father and in ways we might have been better off just with each other.She gave me a look that I understoood and I stared out at my room. I remember that day staring around my room and something panicked in my heart I swear something in me just broke that day..as if nothing ws worth anything anymore. I shuddered and reached for my teddy bear. It's glass eyes just seemed to stare blankly into my own eyes..and yet it looked sad….
I finally got the courage to go outside and face another day without mom just smiling int hat simple way which kind'a gave me hope. It was a long walk to the cemetary with my little sister by my side, it started to pour as we ran through the storm.. "The pefect day for a funeral…." I thought aloud. "What?"Shigurei looked at me oddly. "I just mean the dismal skies.." she shrugged and continued walking quietly.
The funeral started and everyone was seated. My Father sat in the front row, but I avoided his gaze. I sat with Shigurei in almost the back row. The minister started to begin the service and I shook with sobs that didn't seem to come out till this very day and I saw her cold dead body in front of the grave. "In all life...there is a time to be born..I time to live..and a time to die.." the minister began in a soft and yet emotionless tone. I heard the mellowtones of his voice but I didn't really hear him, I saw memories..heard voices..and relived my past. Onlookers passed by and centered their sympathetic gazes at me but all I could do was nod. When the funeral ended and everyone had left the site of the grave I walked slowly to the headstone and placed a single blue rose on top.
The next few days passed like a blur I really don't remember much of what happened during that week except for a few mourners would pass by and say the things that people always say at a time of death… "Life is short..or time is numbered..from the day we live to the day we die….really it's a terrible thing to happen...I'm so sorry…" But the voices of confort did little to ease my troubled hert. The thing is is I wondered as tiem went by would I forget everything her voice..her smile..and would she be just another ld phtograph stuffed into albums not truly forgotten yet not truly there.
The weekend ended and the next day began for school as if nothing ever happened. I guess when I looked into the mirror I expected to see something different, all I saw was my own forlorn face in the mirror staring back at me wondering why do I grieve so much? I put on a pale blue dress for school and put my backpack on. Aother dark morning..It seemed whenever I went to school the sky was dark..it felt like I was walking in the middle of the night. It always scared me to walk at night by myself of coarse it wasn't the strangers that I feared so much….
I got on the bus and noone said a word I didn't really know anyone on the bus anyways. A few girls in the back of the bus droned on a conversation about this senior guy that they liked and I just stared outside watching everything go by. I stepped off the bus and waited outside to meet my friends aas I always did in the morning. They smiled not really noticing my depression., and I smiled back. "Rena..you allright?" "Oh yeah fine thanks for askign anyways kenji.."
Remembering what I did next was just ..incredibly weird..I smiled and as I said that and laughed I shook with sobs.I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. And certainly I didn't know where or who to turn to. I suddenly ran into the school building. "Rena wait!" lela called after me but I didn't want to listen or for anyone to see me cry.
Months passed and eventually like smiles my tears faded away and though I knew my mother was gone I gained an acceptance of it. Nomatter how hard it really was to face.
* * *
The school bell rang and I walked listlessly through the halls not quite feeling alive or awake or really sure where I was going.The storm clouds from last ngiths rain had cleared up a bit and a lot was on my ind..and yet I felt a bit happier.I walked past the street I normally do every day but something about the Jinja looke different today.There was a shrine on my street that I never enetered, or never relally cared to take two glances at it. But on the steps was a girl about my age sweeping in a temple kimino. She had jet black hair with purple highlights, and brown eyes which almost seemed purple when she got annoye. She was a bit taller than me, and carried heerelf with a calming demeaneor and looked sure of herself.Suddennly my legs gave out and I remember seeing the sidewalk in front of my eyes, but I don't remember hitting the pavement.
In my dream I was a little girl again. I was smiling and skipping up the steps of the shrine. I held an unbrella above my head and twirled around in circles till I was dizzy and fell at the foot of the shrine.A little girl came out of the shine and giggled a bit.
"Your as clumsy as that girl a few blocks away with the blonde odangos!" she laughed and helped me up."My grandpa says that this temple is special! so you just got a sacred knock on the head!" I laughed again. "THanks for helping me up, it's soooo cold out today and I was having fun and I geuss I ripped and fell."I said kind'a quiety still embarrassed. "Awh don't ya go an' worry about it..heeeeeey! I ahv an idea let's go inside and get some hot cocoa and we can be the best of friends!..ooh silly me, My name Is Hino Rei" She piped up and held out her hand."I'm Kuramitsu Rena"I said happily and shook her hand.
The dream faded away and I woke up to find myself in the Jinja. I looked around confused and stood up. I dropped trhe blanket that was around me to my feet and walked over to the door. I peaked outside the door, and saw a shaggy haired guy wiping the floor and singing some rock music.
I closed the door and sat back down on the bed.With my hand held to my heart I wondered about that dream.Theres not much of my childhood that I really remember, I guess all I could recall could be explained with emotions, I remember being sad..being happy...faded smiles, my mother laugh but yet actual memories seem gone in the back of my mind. And, looking at a photograph you sometimes wonder if a memory is really what you remmember or what you think you remember from a picture. Sometimes it seems that I had no childhood, and I just appeared and here I am Rena Kuramitsu age 16.Ta da!
I gazed uneasily about the room and wondering who that girl was and how I had known her yet everything was clouded and i couldn't recall anything about her except that she lived in this shrine..and I remember warmth..and fire..an..and cocoa! I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I looked up at her shelf and there on it was a picture of her and a blonde girl with odangoes giving each other bunny ears.."Your as clumsy as that girl a few blocks away with the blonde odangos!"My memory echoed.
A few moments later that same girl walked into the room. "I see your feeling better." She said and walked ove rto the table placing a few cookies and a glass of water down. "Yeah I guess so..thank you rei-chan.."
Rei blinked and looked to the side. Oh Rena! I ahven't seen you in years! Rei smiled, and gave me a quick hug. "So whatever happened to you?" "Oh my family moved away, but we moved back just recently." "It's nice to see you again."
Me and rei talked for hours just catching up on things. It's kind'a weird seeing someone from your past just pop back into your life after not seeing them for so long. It's like..your not sure if the person is really that person.
After talking to her she promised we'd meet again next weked, I waved and stepped outside of the jinja. "And don't forget to call!" rei called back after me.I stepped down the steps and a cool breaze wove through my hair and the night air caressed my cheek. It was nice seeing her again. I held my backpack, "I wonder why I fainted like that."
***
Chapter 2: part 2
I yawned and streatched my arms out. "Hey Rena WAKE UP OR YOU'LL BE LATE!!!!" "I'm awake shigurei!" "Okay! but no whining to me later that you didn't get up on time." I laughed and threw my covers over the side of the bed. I stood up and gazed outside.It was still kind'ave dark and the morning sky looked inky buteven though it still looked like night I knew I had to be at the bus stop in 10 minutes.
I really hated school lately, because my grades though passable just seemed to continually get worse. And the few friends that I did have wern't exactly talking to me. It's like..sometimes you just kind'a grow apart from your friends. I really did envy my so alled friends. Always giggeling and laughing, smiling and doing silly things. All I could do was sit serious with a solemn expression their laughter echoinng in my ear and making every tear, stronger, every cry more relevant and every word not spoken less heard.Or maybe it was that I was just to sensative to things.
"..and the time is now coming up to 7:30" the radio announced. "ahh 7:30!" I grabbed my books, mad a slight attempt to fix my hair and ran out the door.Shigurei made a knocking sound on the window and I turned quickly to look and she gave me that I told you so smile. I just turned back around and tried walking at a fast pace. It was dark but my eyes always got used to the light quickly. I huried and sat on the sidewalk waiting for the bus to come.A few guys from another schol had the same stop as me and alwaays were really annoying most of the time I'd tune them out and think f other things. They'd whistle at me or throw papers at me, but they were easy to ignore.
The bus arrived and I took my seat. Usually when I sta on the bus I'd stare blankly thinking of any number of things it never had to be a specific thing but my mind always zoned off.
I got to school and went through my classes not really paying attention or quite feeling alive. When I got to lunch I ate mechanically and tried to study my class ntes but all Incould do was sit and stare blankyl at the pages not understanding a word or a syllable.
Ming walked up to me and looked at me concered for a second. "Hey Rena, why you always sit by yourself lately?" "..I dunno...really." "Oh now come ooooon we don't want ehr hanging around us anymore" someone whispered from the crowd. "yeah." another person agreed. "she's too quiet..and to sad lately anyways, what's the point of having her around just to cry?" "..sorry rena" ming replyed and walked away. I looked at Ming and then I looked at the girls which used to be my friends. Suddenly their faces seemed twisted and ugly to me. I stood up and ran out of that lunchroom! I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. A few girls who were standing in their left mumbling a few things to each other I couldn't quite hear.
A fewe tears streamed down my cheecks but I wiped them away quickly. Who needs friends anyways..who needs them..not like they were ever here for me before and not like they would be now if we were still "friends"
I picked up my bag again grabbed my coat and walked back into the cafeteria. I'm not sure why I did that, because I never would have done that before, maybe it wa sjust to prove that they couldn't keep me down, or that I didn't need them. Either way I decided i'd sit in taht cafeteria like nothing happened.But suddenly a wave of sadness washed oveer me. I sighed and stared out the window. I didn;t like eating lunch alone, I felt so alone and sad because there was noone there laughing or smiling to overshadow my tears.And just looking around I thought everyone ws looking at me sayig there's the girl who sits alone, I was afraid of wher to look, to meet anyone's eyes so I just stared straight ahead at the window hoping that the bell for class would ring soon.
From out of nowhere I felt a tap on my shoulder and almost jumped out of my seat. I heard a light laugh and was greeted by the brightest green eyes that seemed to fill with laughter. "Hey would you mind if I sat down?" "nope, go ahead you can sit down." I recognised him immediately and howhe looked that day, his image is forever embossed on my mind. He had dark brown hair, bright green eyes, and his lips always seemed to form a smile. Kei..which was his name I was soon to find out, had a peaches n' cream complexion that many peopele often said I had.
"Rena, right?" "oh..yeah..that's me." "Hey..listen do you think I could have your phone number? ..lunch is almost over and I'd like to talk to you later and mayeb we could go somewhere sometime." I felt myself blush.I funbled in my bag for a piece of paper, abut makign a fool of myself I used up all my paper. "I..uh..seme to ahve ..used up all my paper." He seemed amuzed by my confusion. "Hey what's so funny?" "Oh nothing, you just look cute when your confused." I blushed again. "Oh you can just write it on my hand." "I scribbled out my number on his hand as the bell for next class rung. "Oh by the way Rena, my name is kei." he called after me as I left for my next class, and I;'m sure I wore the weirdest look of astonishment on my face, and I just couldn;t stop smiling to myself.
And when I went to my last two classes today I was happier, I paid attention in class, and amazing to hear it I passed my Math test. As soon as the school bell rang I sprung up from my seat and nearly ran to the bus and even ran home.
I paced around my living room waiting for Kei to call. Everytime the phone rang I ran to the phone eager to pick it up and see if it was him. I'm sure I scared shigurei by running from my room al the way to the phone int he kitchen, but I wasn't aloud to have a phone in my room.
The phone rang at 4 o' clock, and I raced yet again to the kitchen.I picked up the phone, and I'm sure I sounded tottally out of breathe and overly excited. "I-is rena there?" "Yeah it's me, I know I sound weird on the phone." "nah you don't, hey it was nice sitting with you at lunch today." "Yeah it was nice having some company.""..yeah I saw you run out of the lunch room." "..y.-you did?" I felt my voice quiver. "Yeah, but hey don't worry about yur friends they'll come around." I ffelt liek saying I hope they don't ever come around, I hatew them but I stayed silent. "Hey Rena, do you think..maybe..would you like to--go out with me?"
The words seemed almost unreal, a cute guy, who was nice too, really liked me? me? rena kuramitsu? Could anyone ever think of me as a girlfriend? Did he feel what I felt looking at him when he looked at me? It seemed almost to weird to be true.I mena all my friends had had boyfriends but I was always so quiet, and it felt so strange for someone to be asking me out.
"Rena you there?, did you hear what I said?" "Yes, I'm here..and yes I'd like to go out with you."I tried not to sound too excited. "Hey Rena I need to use the phone!" shigurei shouted from the other room. "Gimme a sec Shigurei!..hey Kei I've gotta go my little sister needs to use the phone." "It's alright, goodnight rena." "Goodnight Kei." I cradled the reciever and hung up the phone. I beamed a smile at shigurei and she took the phone to call one of her friends.
I skiped into my room and turned on the radio. Everything seemed different to me now. The room was bright and cheery, colors seemed brighter, happier, my cat even seemed to sense my happiness...and that night when I went to sleep happy thought entered my dreams, and I'm sure I even woke up with a smile on my face..
for the first time..in a long time.
Falling in love for the first time was the strangest thing to me. Hey it was even strange to see someone smiling at me in the morning for the phone to ring and for my heart to go on wing, and for the shadows of my world to just disappear.
I skipped to my bus-stop swinging my books alone, the wind was light, and there was a light blanket of snow from the night before on the ground so I hasd to be careful as I walked, making sure not to make the wrong step and wind up with my face in the ground...which at this point would be veeeery cold!..and what luck just then it started to rain. Luckily though the bus wasn't late.
When I got to school I went right inside, of coarse we wern't allouid to go upstrairs, but the teachers allowed the students into the little doorway. My school was a small school with nomore than 40 kids in each of the 4 grades, so everyone pretty much knew each other of coarse that also meant everyone knew everything about you too, which could be both good and bad. Kei was in the same grade as me but he was in another class, so I never had even spokem more than 2 words to him though I knew of him and I'm sure he had known of me, which makes me wornder why he liked me.Those words still seem foreign even now.
Once inside I stood byy the door, I saw familiar faces and groups cuddled together for warmth talking about what they did yesterday the guys they met, the fun they had and I sat there silently hoping maybe someone would come upa bndtalk to em I felt awkward just standing there,a dn i tried not to let my gaze meet with anyone's eyes.The door opened again and I shivered the cold rain hitting my feet in the craped entry way. But it was kei who walked in.
"Glad I found you" he said and smiled. "I just wanted to stay inside from the rain." "oh..thought you might be hiding he said with a little laugh." "oh I guess I am..from the rain." I added. "He flashed a smile and put his arm around me." I blushed. Then the bell rang. "Could I have a kiss?" he asked. Such a request put me kind'a in shock..I'd never been kissed..or even asked that...I didn't even know how to kiss..I'm sure I looked quite confused. But I nodded and he pulled me closer to him and we kissed softly. After that he smiled and waved. "see-ya at lunch rena!" he went off to class.I went to my first period class. I still couldn't believe that was my first kiss...I hal expected the world to turn upside down. My firsdt kiss..I alwasy expected that it would be something magical like off on some foreign place with the stars above and terns flying and the world would just stop. Not that I was disappointed. I guess it's just strange for something normal to happen to me.heh..now if anything is weird it's believing maybe I could be normal.
Maybe I could get good grades, have friends, go places after school, just have a normal happy life for once. I remember being on the bus after school and looking out at girls my age with their boyfriends and their friends smiling and laughing. Maybe that could be me I thought.
***
The day passed like a breeze and the next thing I knew I was home sitting in my room reading a book. Kei called later and I swear we talked for hours. After I hung up the phone I stared at the wall for awhile.There was always somenthing strange about the house where I grew up. It was always really warm in the winter and in the summer.Besides that you could turn off a light at night and wake up and there it would be on again! of coarse the first thing you'd think is someone turned it on, but everyone would deny doing it..and thinking about it just got me confused.My house wasn't exactly the biggest house, but it wasn't the smallest either.It had 4 bedrooms, one which was turned into a study, 3 bathrooms, a dining room, a kitcghen,a living room, a foyer, it was basically a house I dunno what else to say. The foyer had strange windows though. They were made of stained glass. And whenever I walekd through there I'd tiptoe carefully so my footsteps didn't echo and I'd avoid certain colors I thought to be evil. Liek if I steped on grey I thought I'd die, one time I stepped ong rey and I literally scared myself till I was sick. Strangely I always thought there were always shadows in corners and whispers behind doors. I remmeber when I was little I always sued to have my door open a tiny sliver to let a little bit of light into the room. I used to think that if there wasn't a little bit of light somehting horrible would happen to me. But even staring at the little light would scare me because I swear my eyes played tricks on me and the sliver of light looked like an aligator opening and closing it's mouth. I used to be deathly afraid of the dark and when I couldn't sleep I would lay down in front of the door and watch the little crack of light, and peoples footsteps in the hallway.
Tonight, though,I was sittin on my bed I tried reading a book but my eyes simply looked off of the page, I couldn't really concentrate on anything. Mostly because I kept thinking about kei..and because of the screaming in the living room that I heard. I hated to hear yelling just the sound of yelling made me cower and cover my ears wishing it away. When I was little I had a dream, I was in my room with my little sister and I just heard the loudest strange noise..it was like yelling but it wasn't..it was just loud and eerie. Me and Shigurei covered our ears and tried to keep the door closed...it was one of the strangest dreams I ever had..not really scary..but it was disturbing and I still remember it.
Whenever people were screaming at me or at each pother and I was in the room I couldn't leave the room or I'd be hurt, and If I covered my ears my father would slap my hands sso that they'd ache and I wouldn't be able to move them very well.
I'm not really sure what the argument was about in that room but I thought I should stay in my room where it's safe. I picked up my stufed teddy bear that kei had given me and I sat in the sitting room ajacent to my bedroom and I listened to the screaming and cried. I was always scared when I heard yelling..but I swallowed my tears and jusst sat blankley hugging that teddy bear. I knew if someone heard me crying..It..it just wouldn't be good...believe it or not crying was almost outlawed in my house. Noone could see you cry,or you'd be punished for that..though I don't know why. And my tears..they were trophies in the eyes of the one whom wished me harm.
I heard a door slam and then an eerie silence overshadowed the house.I'm sure my sister hadn't done much to set off my dearest father but it didn't have to be a big thing..it could be as stupid as not taking down his messages right.
I wish I could'ave gone out there..done something..but I'm a coward..to scared to do a lot of things. One of my friends once told me, "Rena..someday your just gonna loose it..your too obediant..but only because your scared oe day your just gonna say forget it and rebel.", but I'm not like that..still I wodnered what would happen if I actually did do that.
I turned the lights off and walked back into my room. I sat and stared at the ceiling until it became unbearable to stay awke any longer and my eyes shut tightly.
***
I awoke to the sound of daddy dearest screaming...He was always screaming for some reason or another. And you'd hacve to go to him the second he screame dfor you, or you'd be very sorry. It didn't matter if he was accrossed the house on another floor you still had to make sure you were there right away.I raced down the stairs rubbing the sleep from my eyes, and waking up pretty quickly as I ran to the study. "Wha..what is it..it's satursay y'know..I wa sjust sleeping and--" "Shut up for a minute!" "ok." "now when exactly were you planning on telling me." "about what?" I looked up confused. "Kei." "Oh yeah he's my boyfriend, I really like him and--" "your forbidden to see him." he said flately. "What? how can you say that? why?" " Because, is the only answer you need, this family is not a democracy it's a dictatorship." I always hated how he used words specifically to confuse me.. "But can't I have a reason at least!" "you don't need one." he said still in a flat voice. I spun on my heel and ran out of the room up the stairs and to my room locking the door behind me, as he screamed after me. "Rena get back here!" I leaned against the door crying ..I just couldn't let him see me cry..yet I shouldn't have ran. I sat there unsure of what to do, I ehard the punding up the stairs. My heart raced, I sat confused..I did the onlky thing I could do, I called Kei. "Hello?" he asnwered as the door was flung open.
"Kei!" my father grabbed the phone and flew it to the floor.
"What do you want?!" I cried. "Obediance is all I require." He grabbed me by the arms and flung me against the wall--he then shook me. "Do you understand?!" "Yes!" I said feeling lightheaded like I was going to pass out. "good." he said and dropped me as he stormed out of the room.
Usually I'd call kei when I was feeling depressed..lonely..or sad..this was one time that I wouldn't.
I just wanted to do something else..to fight back..but I guess all I could do was sit there and cry. I embraced myself and stood up. I saw my reflection in my jewlery box. There were a few bruises were I had been held up against the wall but nothing serious. I picked up the phone and pndered calling Kei but I thought it'd cause more trouble than it was worth. Of coarse everything seemed to be more trouble than it was worth...I guess. I walked around my room aimlessly for a few minutes before deciding to go see shigurei. The clock said 12:30 am..I wasn't sure if she'd be up but I needed someone to talk to. I opened the door a creek and peered down the doorway. Walking close to the wall and as far from the light as possible. I was scared of just having to see my father really, so I didn't want him to know I was awake. I opened shigurei's door and closed the dor softly behind me. The moolight cast an errie glow on the room. Shigurei's room was cute in it's own little way, She had a dark black ceiling with stars and little constellations she had put on it--and her walls they were bright bright sky blue with little posetrs of dolphins and whales.There was a lush green carpet on the floor too..although right now it looked dark because of the night sky and shigurei sat on her staring at the wall. I could tell she wasn't asleep she qs just sitting..and staring.,"Shigurei?" ,"Oh..rena!" "shhh be quiet, or he'll hear us." I whispered. "Are you alright?" "Yeah fine..anyways arer you okay ..?" "yeah just phasin gout I guess...I heard the argument. Rena you can't let him do that, I mean you've never had a boyfriend and I mean Kei..isn't a bad personand he cares about you a lot, even though you just met. I see it in theway he looks at you, the way he talks to you,,and hey he's even nice to me--the evil little sister." she smiled. "heh, yeah" "hey I got an idea." she raised her arms in the air then came a bit closer to me kneeling almost on the edge of her bed. I was afraid she was gonna ' fall off. "You tell daddy dear that your going to study at the library, I'll cover for ya, and you can go see kei. It's work out perfectly." she claped her hands together then looked around nervously because she had done it so loudly. "Anyways,it's almost summer vacation, in 2 days, we'll have so much fun..anddon't worry I'll makesure you can see kei, as long as you do the same thing for me if I ever need it." She winked at me. I laughed a little. "Of coarse." "Well you'd getter get back to your room rena, you've gotta get up early tomorrow." "yeah yeah..goodnight shigurei, thanks." I hugged her. "goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!" I left Shigurei's room and tiptoed quietly to my own. I figured i'd sneak out of the house tomorrow night, and i'd tell Kei everything then but for now it'd be like things never changed. Have you ever beeen in a time wqhere everything seems perfect and want nothing to ever change?..what do you do when it does? I sighed and closed my door while flicking on my desk lamp. I turned on my radio softly not wanting to hear any silence. I crawled into my bed and went to sleep. It was light outside but kind'ave dark. Ominous clouds were off in every direction and it was mistly like it is after a rinfall. I always loved the weather like this everything smelled so beautiful and fresh and it reminded me of a few memories in my past i hvave boggled around in this confused head of mine. I sat on the curb drawing little pictures in my sketchbook and being bored waiting for the bus to come...suddenly my thoughts kind'ave darkened and i thought about later, and how i was going to rtell kei..and what i was going to do..i mean i couldn't sneak around forever..could i? But me and kei had gotten so close i didn't want to lose him, i loved him..i really did..though i never said it and as of yet he hadn't said it to me.It was sortof an unspoken phrase between us that we both believed yet never said...isn't that strange? The school day went by quickly it always seems to during the last days of school. I got on my bus for the way home, and Kei kissed me quickly on the lips. I smiled at him. "See-ya later." "See-ya kei." I waved and skipped over to my seat. to be continued... ***
My eyes snapped open at 7:00 to the sound of something crashing acrossed the hall. I jumped out of bed and ran into shigurei's room. I yawned and looked up "shigurei?" "whoa your awake..heh ..uh the noise..uh..the cat knocked down my shelf." "need some help" "nope i can fix it myself." "Are you sure?" "yup! besides you gotta go to your bus stop beforeri hafta go to mine.." "Oky, well good luck."I walekd out of ehr room and back into mine. I put on a pair of light blue bell bottom jeans, and a baby doll t-shirt with a cute anime face printed on it. After a few minutes of staring at the wall and thinking about Kei, I grabbed my backpack and walked out of the door to my bus stop. ***
Evening had come upon so quickly i awoke in my room confused. I think I had fallen asleep. Sometiems i don't even remember going to school and wonder if i was really there or not, then i remember i was there and just then that it was 10 pm not 10 am i ws supposed to meet Kei at 7:30. "oh no!" I changed into a light dress and brushed my hair down quickly before running out the door.