A/N: So, what am I doing, starting another fanfic? Completely lost it on my others, but am trying my best to update! This is an idea that's been kicking around in my angsty mind for awhile. I just discovered How I Met Your Mother recently and LOVED it. Barney is pure comic gold. So here is my first fanfic for the HIMYM fandom!

I held a jewel in my fingers
And went to sleep
The day was warm, and winds were prosy
I said, "Twill keep"

Barney Stinson woke up to the world spinning. He squinted, shook his head, but the grey fog that clouded his world stayed put.

Around and around

Around....

Around....

Barney lay absolutely still, begging the spinning and the noises and the fog to clear.....

Why can't the world stand still for once?

Not the first morning....

Shake it off....

Can barely get out of bed.....

Too awesome to be held down.....

Should tell someone....

Wouldn`t want to hear it....

"Shut up. Shut up! "The words were out before Barney realized where they came from, his hand flying across the bed to land clasped over his mouth.

"Dude!"

The voice startled Barney, and he turned his head slowly, to look into a pair of very pissed off blue eyes.

"Robin?"

"What the hell was that, Barney?" she snapped irritably.

"Sorry, Scherbatsky. Didn't see you there. "

Robin scoffed. "Well, despite what you may think, waking up to a literal slap in the face....not quite the party you'd expect."

The fog in Barneys mind cleared a little more, and he managed a sly smile. "Well, if it's a party you're looking for, Scherbatsky... "

"Oh, get over yourself," she said, a smile appearing despite her words.

Grinning, Barney pulled Robin to him, kissing her for long moments, until she finally shoved him away. He groaned like a petulant child.

"Work, Barney," she grinned. "Crazy thing we all do to earn money. You should try it sometime."

"Too awesome to work," he mumbled, snuggling down into the pillow sleepily.

Scoffing, Robin dropped back down onto the bed beside her boyfriend, snatching the covers off him. He whined pathetically, but she held them out of his grasp.

"Work!" she emphasized, but her smile quickly turned into a frown upon closer inspection of Barney.

"Barney, you're really pale," she frowned.

He cracked open an eye. "That a compliment, Scherbatsky?"

"No, I mean it. And you look like you've gotten bruises all over you. How do you bruise from sitting in a chair and doing nothing?"

"Oh poor little Robin," Barney groaned, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "How little you grasp the delicate concepts and subtle politics that dictate my work environment."

Robin glared. "Seriously Barney, are you sick?"

"Sick?" Barney protested in mock outrage. "Barney Stinson does not get sick. Didn't I tell you? Whenever I'm feeling sick, I just stop being sick, and be fully awesome. True story."

Despite herself, Robin still felt a twinge of worry about Barney's well being. She grabbed his hand as he passed on the way to the bathroom.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Scherbatsky." Giving her a quick kiss, Barney disappeared into the bathroom, and Robin, less concerned from his assurance, continued getting ready for work.

Inside the bathroom, Barney gripped the cold tile of the sink with both hands and stared at himself in the mirror.

Under the harsh bathroom lights, his skin looked deathly pale, dark bags under his eyes more prominent. Everything hurt nowadays, and he was only starting to admit to himself that something actually could be wrong. The little voice in his head that he hated to identify as his conscience yelled at him to tell Robin, tell Ted, tell anyone.

But as soon as he would try, he would feel Robin's shoulder bump against his, or see Lily and Marshall smile at each other, or see Ted look around the group with such contentment, and he couldn't help but picture the change in their expressions if he were to put something serious on them. To have the looks they would get on their faces be caused by him was something he couldn't imagine.

So he put it off.

Still, Barney was beginning to wonder how much longer he could keep going like this. He felt worse every day, more bruises appearing, more tired, more nauseous. With a heavy sigh, Barney pulled out his phone to call the doctor's office. He'd go, but nobody would know. This wouldn't ever become something to drag all of his friends into.

He wouldn't let it.

A/N: I'm not too proud to beg for reviews. Pleassseee? :P