Could've Been Me

Silent Cobra

I hear you just got married
Had a month long honeymoon
And you were all smiles at the wedding
And you cried when you kissed the groom

I  stared silently into space.  How could this have happened?  I put my head in my hands, wishing the happy sounds from the room down the hall would disappear.

Sam Carter, my Sam Carter, was married, and not to me.  Pete.  That asshole of a cop, Pete.  How I hate that man. 

The honeymoon was over, a month in Hawaii, how it must have hurt.  Maybe not you, but it sure as hell hurt me.

But I never received an invitation to the wedding, and that was what hurt more.  Or maybe, I was so jealous, I simply tore it up.



I got no invitation
I guess the mailman didn't bring it to me
But I see the whole thing in slow motion
Every night as I try to sleep

I was sitting at home, playing chess with myself as usual when the mail popped through the little slot.  I stood and retrieved it and sat down.  There, on top was a pearly white envelope.  I opened slowly.

Wedding bells decorated the front.  My hands trembled as I opened it, dreading the message inside.

Colonel Jack O'Neil

Your presence is requested at the marriage of Officer Pete Kinnon and Major Samantha Carter.

Yours truly, Jacob Carter

I felt the world swim around me…this couldn't be happening…I threw my head back and howled ferally.  THIS COULD NOT BE HAPPENING!!!

I tore the invitation to shreds.  She didn't even have the guts to write the invitation herself.  I slammed my head into the wall repeatedly. 

It was time for work. 



My buddy John said you looked real pretty
And you acted like you were in love
He said the preacher asked for objections
And he thought about standing up

Daniel came over today, the day after the wedding.  I missed it.  I wonder why.  He said you looked real pretty.  Your dress was white and had ribbons and lace cascading down it.

He said you acted like you were in love.  I turned away, I didn't want to hear that.  Daniel sighed.  He told me when the preacher asked for objections, he thought about standing up.

I told John he must've been crazy
'Cause you were just about to say I do
He just gave me a wink and said all he could think
Is it could've been me with you

I looked at Daniel like he was crazy, because you were just about to say I do.  Daniel smiled at me sadly and whispered that it could've been me with you.

It could have been me standing there with you
It could have been me and my dreams coming true
But those dreams move on if you wait too long
It took me till now to see it could have been me

He left not to long after, leaving an old man to his deranged thoughts.  I walked to my room and sat down.  I stared at the picture of you I had next to my bed.  You, smiling, for me.

Not Pete, but me.  I took the picture and touched it briefly, before anger took over.  Tears hit the glass and distorted your face.  I moaned and threw the picture against the wall, where it shattered as it hit the floor.

It could've been me, I thought then.  It should've been me.  But that dream was over.  And I know all to well that dreams move on if you wait to long.

I don't guess I never told you
That I went out and bought you a ring
I even carried it around in my pocket
Waiting to say the right thing

I pulled open my drawer and gingerly picked up a velvet box.  The ring I bought you, nearly three months ago.  I carried it around in my pocket, waiting for the right time.

I pulled it out the other day
But the diamond had lost it's shine
Well I know how it feels 'cause my eyes grow dim
When I think you could've been mine

The diamond lost its shine.  I fingered the jewel silently, contemplating.  I knew the feeling, because my eyes and heart grow dim whenever I think you could've been mine.

It could have been me standing there with you
It could have been me and my dreams coming true
But those dreams move on if you wait too long
It took me till now to see it could have been me

Every night it's the same dream, me standing next to you.  Me and my dreams coming true.  But after the death of Charlie, I learned that dreams move on when one waits to long.

And God Damn it, I had waited to long.

Oh I called her just in time to be too late
You know those dreams move on if you wait too long
It took me till now to see (it could've been me)

I called you up the other day, just in time to be to late.  You went silent when you heard my voice.  You told me I wasn't at the wedding.  I told you I didn't know.  You told me, you were expecting, I forced myself to say alright.

I started the receiver for the longest time, listening to your breathing.  You said you had to go, your husband was waiting.  You told me goodbye and hung up.  I sat, listening to the buzzing of an empty life and whispered 'you should've been mine.'

It could have been me standing there with you
It could have been me and my dreams coming true
But those dreams move on if you wait too long
It took me till now to see it could have been me

And now, its time to tell you, the way I feel inside.  I walk down the hallway to your room, where I know you sit cuddling with Pete.  I take out the ring and a CD and place it right outside your door. 

I turn to walk away and I hear the door slid open behind me.  You pick up the package and take it inside.  You put the CD in and I feel it's words cutting into my heart.

It could have been me...

Standard disclaimers apply.  Please R&R.  I hope you liked it.