Engagement Sabotage 101

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the other rights reserved. Any similarities to others living or otherwise are purely coincidental.

Genre: Romance/Humor(slight)

Pairings: H/Hr (main) R/LL (side)

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Chapter1: So it begins

Harry hesitated.

His mind was blank. Palms were sweaty. A tiny bead of perspiration rolled down his cheek and made its way to his neck.

'Is it hot here?'

All she did was stand there, eyes big and sparkly, looking at him expectantly.

He stared at her, wondering. 'Should I?'

A lithe tongue glided across her plump lips.

His heart raced. Any warm-blooded person would go for it.

Beautifully crafted fingers ran across her wavy brown hair. A faint scent of her jasmine shampoo wafted past Harry's nose.

He took a deep breath.

Her expectant look was turning into a big grin. "First time, right?"

He paused, then nodded meekly and looked down.

She gave a hearty giggle.

Now thoughts flowed through his mind. 'Should I stay faithful? Or just go for it?'

There was a pregnant pause.

Hermione cleared her throat, "We'll take two set meals. I'll have the fish and chips and he'll have the steak and kidney pie."

Harry looked up, a little startled. Hermione just grinned. 'How did she know?'

The waitresses nodded and took the orders. "And what would you like for dessert?"

Hermione glanced at Harry, who was still dumbstruck. "We'll take the pumpkin pie."

"Any drinks?"

"Just plain water please, thanks." Hermione closed her menu and passed it to the waitress with a smile.

Scribbling down the notes, the waitress collected Harry's menu, flashed a smile, and gave them an estimated time for their orders before leaving.

Hermione spoke. "I'm sorry Harry, but you took too long to order. Besides, I heard the steak and kidney pie was delicious."

He snapped out of his reverie. "Oh, it was alright. I was torn between being faithful to the fish and chips or go for the pie. Thanks for deciding for me." He beamed at her.

"Really?" She blushed. "I had thought that if you didn't like the pie, we could trade and you could enjoy your favorite dish."

Harry just grinned and looked around.

They were in a semi-formal muggle restaurant in the middle of London. It was cozy and warm. The snow on the glass planes outside made the place even more relaxing. It was roomy enough to hold private conversations, yet small enough to create a homely atmosphere.

"Where's Ron?" Harry suddenly asked.

"Luna." Hermione answered as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Haven't they been on their honeymoon for almost one month already?"

She shrugged, "It's great that one of us have settled down, isn't it?"

He thought for a while, "Yes, it is. But I'm starting to miss him. Last I heard of him, he was in France."

They paused to let a waiter lay the utensils and serve the starters.

"I miss him too." Hermione agreed, while starting on the salad.

Harry nodded, picking up a piece of bread. "So, how was work today?"

"Oh it was great. We had just received a shipment of pixie dust. One container had one pixie in it though. It was a mess by the time we caught it when it escaped…"

Hermione was working for the ministry of magic, under the "Charms and Spells" department, where new enchantments were created and tested at some undisclosed location away from the ministry headquarters, a safety precaution that was exercised should any accidents occur. (She had recently experienced a close call with an overgrown flobberworm.)

While she was working for the Ministry of Magic, Harry tried to avoid the magical community, who saw him as their savior; as "Voldemort's killer." However, outside of the magical community, otherwise known as the muggle world, Harry was an intern in a hospital. Without any recognizable paper qualification after graduating from Hogwarts, Dumbledore pulled a few strings. A half honest certificate, a round of admission tests and a few years in the University of London later, he found himself studying and working as an intern in St. James Hospital.

Now 25, both of them were still single, their love life almost non-existent …at least, to Harry's point of view.

"Harry, remember Seamus? Seamus Finnigan," Hermione started whilst the main course was being served.

Harry thought for a while, scooping a generous portion of the pie and savoring it.

"The person who called me crazy in our fifth year? Can't forget him. Why? Mmm, I like pie. Thanks Hermione."

"Still can't forgive him, can you?" She hadn't touched her food. "And anyway, he's the same person whom I work with everyday."

"What about him?" He took another bite.

"Well…I'm getting married." A rosy tinge had begun creeping across her cheeks.

Harry paused in mid-chew. The piece of pie he had been delicately balancing on his fork fell clumsily back onto his plate. "Wiff" – he swallowed – "…With whom?" he blurted.

She sighed. "To Seamus Finnigan. Why did you think I brought him up?"

'That was unexpected,' Harry thought, forgetting the pie. "When did it happen? How did it start?"

"He proposed today," A dreamy look had crossed her face now. "In front of the whole office right after the pixie incident. He looked so cute covered with the dust. At first I thought he was under the lightheaded effects that pixie dust has, but when I saw the sincerity in his eyes, I agreed." She ended with a giggle. "He even prepared the ring!"

"Then…then how did it start?" he stammered.

Hermione bit her bottom lip, thinking. "It must be the flobberworm incident. After he swooped down and saved me from the jaws of that slimy beast, he asked me out for dinner… and things went on from there."

Harry was lost for words. Thoughts were running though his mind. 'Why didn't I notice? Why Seamus? Did she ever mention that she was going out with Seamus? How was it possible? What is Hermione saying now? Why Seamus? Is Seamus good enough for her? Will she be happy with him? What will Ron say? Why Seamus? Why not me?' The last thought shocked him a little.

"…that is why I asked you out tonight, Harry." He drifted back into focus. "Please say yes, for me."

He blinked. "Huh?"

Hermione sighed in exasperation. "Harry, I asked you if you could please be the best man. You are the most important man in my life…After Seamus I mean," she added as an afterthought, and glanced away.

Harry knew there was something else she was hiding from him. But he did not question her. He poked a kidney in his cooling pie with his fork. For some funny reason, the kidney looked strangely like Seamus' face, and right now, Harry was poking one of its eyes.

Harry looked up suddenly. A hand had reached across the table to cover his. He stopped torturing kidney-face Seamus and peered into Hermione's pleading eyes.

He sighed, a wordless agreement to Hermione's request while thinking of other ways to hurt kidney Seamus. 'Why do I feel…upset over Seamus?' he wondered.

She caught Harry's despondent look. "Are you… alright with this? Your approval means the world to me, even more than my parents'."

He smiled, not wishing to disappoint her. "It's just… a surprise that's all. Congratulations! I hope you will be happy together. I promise to be the best man for the wedding. And I'll be there for you, always."

Hermione grinned. She looked as if she could hug Harry right there…if the table hadn't been in between them that is.

Harry waved his fork, ending their current conversation. "Well, dig in before the food gets cold. Here, try some of this pie…"

Dinner was a quiet affair. Harry ate in silence while Hermione talked, nodding and smiling when he hoped was appropriate while his mind slipped into an internal argument.

He's not good enough for her!

Isn't he? You don't even know him.

Why didn't I notice?

You were too busy studying remember? But you could not miss her happy demeanor whenever she came home late.

Why didn't she tell me then?

Hermione has her own life, she does not need to tell you everything. Besides, she did mention it during your exam period…

I don't like him.

But Hermione does, what can you do?

…I should keep my promise to her and make her happy then.

Sure, you go do that. However, ask yourself, are YOU happy?

NO!

Harry was taken aback by that response, and he started slightly in his seat. Hermione, however, remained blissfully unaware of his unexplained reaction, still gesturing and talking animatedly. He coughed and tried to recompose his demeanor.

Why?

I …I guess it was a gut feeling. I think… maybe it's because I don't want to lose her and end up somewhat lonely like the time when Ron left. I know I don't want to lose her to SEAMUS FINNIGAN. I never liked him much anyway…

So, what are you doing to do about it?

Take Seamus by the nuts and shove them up his-

I meant about the engagement.

Harry grinned widely. I'LL BREAK IT.

Hermione caught the grin but misread it.

"I'm glad that you liked the idea of being the best man. Seamus was against it, but seeing the amount of male friends he have." Her lips thinned grimly. "It was up to me to find the person to be the best man for the wedding."

'No surprise that he didn't have many male friends, he was probably too busy getting paper cuts between his legs while screwing those dirty magazines,' Harry chuckled.

"Hermione, whatever are friends for? Though Seamus and I don't usually see eye to eye, I'll do it for you."

Her eyes lit up. He caught a flicker of sadness in her chocolate brown eyes but dismissed it as a play of the candlelight.

Hermione's eyes started to tear, "Oh, Harry, thank you. I knew Seamus was wrong when he said you would not agree. I told him to have faith. I knew I could persuade you. Thank you Harry, it means so much to me."

Harry got off his seat and knelt down beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She hugged him in return, resting her chin on his head; pressing his face to her chest.

A loud "whoop" was suddenly exclaimed, and the whole restaurant broke into a standing ovation. Hermione, upon realizing that they were watched, released Harry, adjusted her seat, blushed and looked down. Harry's face was crimson as he stood up, his gaze taking a sudden interest in his shoes.

"What a romantic way to propose," a lady sitting close to their table remarked, beaming at them.

Knowing it was easier to ignore them than to explain, Harry returned to his seat, knowing full well he would get friendly pats on his back for almost the rest of his meal to all of which, he responded with a quick smile.

The applause died down after a while, leaving a light buzz in the air as the patrons discussed about the new supposed "couple".

"I'm sorry Harry – I get too emotional sometimes," Hermione muttered, her gaze glued to the table.

Harry responded with an almost inaudible, "It's okay."

The waitress they'd met earlier approached their table. "Compliments from the manager and well-wishers, to the new couple." She placed a bottle of white wine and two glasses onto the table, flashed a smile, and left.

'The new couple' finished their meal in silence.

They left the restaurant with the unopened bottle of wine, insistence of the manager when they tried to leave it on the table. It wasn't too bad, after all, Harry decided, it wasn't every day he got a bottle of wine on the house.

They slipped into an alley, ensured there were no onlookers and Apparated to their shared apartment. Hermione lay across the couch with a light sigh.

A light nudge against Harry's legs made him look down. A large ginger cat was staring at him up at him with almost authoritative eyes. Both of them stared at each other for a while.

Harry blinked, and then groaned inwardly. He had lost. The cat gave a smug look, hopped onto Hermione and watched as Harry prepared its dinner. Hermione smiled, and patted the cat for its victory.

"Here you go, Crookshanks." The cat hastened to its dish, gave a grateful mew and started on its dinner. Harry chuckled and scratched the feline behind his ears.

Hermione broke the silence. "Harry, as you will be the best man, I think it is better if both of you get reacquainted." She broke into a wide grin and avoided his eyes. "That is why I took the liberty to arrange for us to go on a morning jog with him this coming Saturday morning."

That is a good time to know the enemy.

"The day after tomorrow? Hmm, seems you were counting on me agreeing to your request."

"Oh Harry, he'll just be joining in our exercise. You and I both know it's a good way to keep warm, he doesn't. He laughed when I told him I had jogged when it was snowing. So I coaxed him to go take up the sport…he doesn't know you'll be there though."

Harry seated himself on the couch. He nodded. "Alright, he can come with us."

She nodded too, then yawned. "It's late, Harry, thanks for taking the news so well." She stood up and headed for her room.

She stopped at the door, turned to face him and gave him a smile. "You know," she said, softly, "you're the first person I told about my engagement. Good night… Harry."

"Good night, Hermione. Sweet dreams."

Hermione slipped into her room. He heard the door shut with a soft snick.

He turned to look at the other living thing in the room. Crookshanks had a questioning look on his squashed face.

Harry sighed. "She's engaged to Seamus. He proposed to her today."

Crookshanks looked sorry for Harry, but finished his dinner in silence.

Chapter quote:
"…I like pie…" -Harry Potter

Next chapter: A Messy Date
Sneak peek:
…"Don't worry, it won't hurt…until I do THIS!" Seamus howled in pain,…