A/N I've been thinking of this story since that fateful episode "I Do, I Do, I Do". I still have my Jasia stories going, but just wanted to do this. Just a 2-part Berena story.
It had been 3 weeks since the accident. 3 weeks since Jason almost died.
And 3 weeks since Elinor had died.
And through it all, Bernie had been there for both of them, well, as much as she could be.
Jason was home and feeling better.
But Serena,,,
She was home, body wise but in every other way, she was somewhere else.
A place that no one should ever have to be.
Grieving the loss of a child.
Her only child.
Her going through the motions of everyday life was an understatement.
Moving listlessly around the house, barely eating, barely sleeping.
Actually, most nights Serena stayed in Elinors' room.
Wanting to be alone.
And Bernie did as she wished.
But it was all becoming a bit much for her.
But being who she was, she didn't let on to anyone.
How her own heart was breaking, or shattered, over watching the woman she loved in such agony.
And being helpless to stop it.
Until one night...
It was late, Bernie had worked a late shift, needing to be useful at night when Serena stayed in Ellies' room.
As she came into the quiet dark house, it seemed to fit her mood.
It had been a long, trying shift, understaffed and to many patients.
3 surgeries, 2 of them major.
But she had saved them.
"Hummph, I can save strangers from their pain and injuries,, but not the woman I love," she laments as she makes her way slowly up the stairs.
She first checks on Jason, and finds him sound asleep, grateful that he's healing well.
Then, she comes to Ellies' room.
The door slightly ajar, and the light on.
She slowly entered, expecting to find Serena asleep on the bed, or even the floor, as she had so many nights since it happened.
But Serena was not there.
As she slowly turned to leave, something caught her eye.
On the nightstand, a picture.
She moved closer, almost afraid to touch anything.
The room was not exactly a shrine, but it was Ellies' room, and Bernie was loathe to disturb anything.
But she couldn't help herself.
She slowly sunk to the floor next to the bed and reached and took the frame.
It was a picture of Serena and Ellie, taken when she was maybe 7 or 8 years old.
They were both smiling.
"You both looked so happy Ellie," she whispers.
"Now,,, your Mum doesn't have you anymore. No more happy times. No more happy pictures."
"Now,, she's lost without you. And,,, I'm lost without her."
"And I don't know how to get her back."
And with those words, Bernies' tears fall, a soft sob escaping her lips.
Her head falls to her chest as she cries, her hands still out in front of her with the photo, resting on her upraised knees.
Then, a voice made her jump a foot off the floor.
"Bernie?"
She looked up, terrified that the person behind that voice would be enraged with her being in the room.
But no rage.
Only tears.
Serena slowly moved to the woman she loved and knelt down in front of her.
She took the picture and placed it back on the nightstand then took Bernies' hands in hers.
But Bernie tries to pull away and stand up.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be in here," she says as she gets up. "This is your place to be with your memories."
Serena just shakes her head and moves closer to her, gently wrapping her arms around the slim waist.
"Bernie,,,, it's okay," she whispers as she pulls her closer, arms tightening around her.
Bernie shakes her head even as she reciprocates, arms going around Serenas' neck.
And Serena just repeats 2 words to her.
"It's okay."
And with those 2 words, Bernie lets her own heartbreak and grief out.
And Serena says the only thing she can think of.
"You are not lost. Because I'm here."
"For you."
TBC
A/N Sorry, just wanted to give a story about what I think Bernie is going through with all that's happened. More soon. 1 more part. Reviews are much welcomed and appreciated.
Thanks.