Anne lay awake in her old East Gable bedroom, lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. Although she tried, time and again to find sleep, it would not come. It was slipping away, as the hours dragged on. She supposed, after accepting her fate of sleeplessness, she may as well make the best of her time.
"Time," she laughed bitterly. "What good is that to me now?" Times seemed quite gray to her then. The color in her usually vibrant cheeks had disappeared. Though she wouldn't admit it, not even to herself, she knew exactly why her life was so dull, and her soul so restless. Gilbert. That name sent a shudder through her spine, and set an image in her mind. It was the image of his stone white face after her refusal, and everyday that image was engraved more deeply into her heart.
Anne tried to block out that memory, but it seemed that the more she tried, the more it haunted her. All summer long she had tried to block out the bitter memories of him.It seemed, all of Avonlea held some reminder of old times; times when they were friends, times she knew were gone. The entire summer had been filled with bittersweet moments. As long as she occupied herself with others, she could ignore the ache; but alone, the pain wellowed up inside her.
"Oh why is everything ruined?" Anne moaned as a single tear slipped down her face. Who really cared anymore? A good cry never hurt anyone, she reasoned as the tears began to flow more heavily. She slowly crawled out of bed and searched for a handkerchief.
"What if life is always like this?" She allowed that thought to escape from the innermost part of her soul, a thought that had been nagging at her for quite some time. It was his fault. "He had to go and… and change," she thought with a sob. "He probably isn't affected at all by our lack of friendship. It's not like he's going through the same thing." Little did she know just how completely wrong she was.