A/N I found this in some old stuff I once wrote. Leah wanted me to share. ;)
Like Dying…Only Worse
There's a movie on, it's Grosse Point Blank, and everyone's completely immersed in the film. Except for Leah. She's on the couch, riding Sam like she'll fucking die without him.
Unfortunately for her, Leah's not really on the couch, getting slammed even as she's getting loved on. She's over here splayed out on the floor with her head on top of Embry's thigh and her feet next to Sam's feet, and Emily's the one with Sam on the couch. Unlike Leah, Emily likes this movie, smiles at the jokes, even grins at the action scenes, because Emily isn't nearly as sweet and innocent as people think. She's sweet and completely deviant, kind of like Leah, and there have probably been plenty of men she's ridden on a couch before Sam. It was one of the things Leah and Emily had in common, and one day they'll be friends again, but not today, not in Leah's living room, watching her cousin put a piece of popcorn in her mouth. Right now in her head, Leah's putting a rock hard cock in her mouth, the only one she has ever known, and it is Sam's and from his seat next to Emily, he knows it. The whole Pack knows it.
There's an elephant in this room and it's Leah's sex drive.
She's in heat, finally, which really fucking sucks for everyone involved, because they can smell how bad she wants it. She wants it the way Sam used to give it, his hands on her ass, his mouth on her shoulder, his body everywhere. She wants it the way good girls didn't want it, the way Sam grabs her by the back of her neck and shoves her face down in the cushions, hauling her ass up so he can slam her as hard and as fast as she could take it. She's gonna scream into the pillow when she comes, and he's going to think about finishing himself, but what people don't know is that Sam can't stand this movie either, and he'd rather gouge his eyes out than watch it. Sam's fucked Leah fifteen separate times to the sound of Minnie Driver asking John Cusack to airplane her, and the older they get, the better it gets, because Sam knows exactly how they both like this kind of thing.
Years later, Sam hasn't forgotten. Emily's eating the popcorn, and Leah's on the floor, and Sam's trying to pretend that he can't smell exactly what Leah's thinking about. Probably because Sam might love Emily with everything he's got, but after Leah took most of it, he doesn't have a whole lot left to give her. Sam will go home tonight and give it to Emily how she likes it, which is frustratingly similar to Leah, and only the Pack will know that he closes his eyes near the end and comes in Leah's body, not Emily's, because he loves Emily second and he loved Leah first, and he loves Leah better than he'll ever love Emily. At least with Leah he was who he used to be, and not this stranger imprinting has made him become.
Sam's rock hard right now, and Emily will appreciate it later, but she's more interested in getting her and Sam a soda from Leah's kitchen. Sam turns his hot gaze towards Leah, and the Pack stiffens. There are a lot of wolves in this room, and Jake's not here, he's on patrol with Seth. They haven't fought over her this time around, Jake's made it clear that Leah being in heat means they are to be more restrained, not less around her, but Sam can smell how bad she used to want him, and imprint or not he's never been a saint. A good man, yes, but never a saint.
Leah doesn't want a saint. She also doesn't want a home wrecker either, so while it might feel damn good to be on this floor with his naked hips rocking relentlessly against hers, she's just going to have to sit back and relax and pretend like she's not ready to claw at the first one of these guys that has the balls to put her back to the wall, hoist her up and just fuck her already.
From across the room, Paul raises an eyebrow at Sam's obvious interest, then growls lightly to draw his attention. It works. Paul doesn't even flinch back from the furious gaze Sam levels Paul's way for the younger wolf having the audacity to growl at him, and Sam has no choice but to calm down because Emily is back and snuggling against his side.
Leah's pretty sure that Emily's going to owe her for the sex the imprint is going to get tonight. Unless of course Sam breaks and convinces Leah to break too. With enough effort Leah could probably be convinced to break. She glances up at Embry, who is focusing more on keeping his nostrils from flaring too heavily than he is at watching the movie. Jared's shifting uncomfortably, his hand on Kim's thigh to anchor him to the earth, and Collin is trying very hard to stop from watching her hungrily.
Embry's hand is drifting towards her side, an offer but a careful one. No pressure, just an offer to a Packmate obviously in need, one who is causing them to be in need as well.
Leah is tempted. Tempted, but she knows better. Embry can lay down with the best of them, but he wants love, not sex, and Leah isn't going there. Annoyed with her options, annoyed that Sam is still looking at her like that when she's over here and not straddling his lap, his hand not fisted in her long hair as he tells her that he's going to come inside of her and she's going to love it. And she did, back then, and she would again, if only for a minute, and Embry's hand on her side is more aggressive when she realizes that she's arching up into the heat of his skin. Beneath her own skin something crawls, needing to get out, just like phasing only more…panicked. This need is building and to hell with this fucking movie, to hell with that couch and Sam's cock and her own inability to control herself right now. She'll fuck them all and then feel bad about it in the morning. Maybe even Emily and Kim could join in, because one single person is never going to ease this kind of burning.
She's crawling inside herself, rolling over and about to crawl onto Embry's lap, when the Alpha walks through the door and orders them all out. The cold floor feels very alone. Being a she-wolf in heat in a Pack full of decent guys is a very lonely thing, and feeling this is like dying…only worse.
"Lee-lee? Shit, it's got you bad, huh?"
Jake's talking to her, but she cares more about the line of his jaw, the width of his shoulders as he bends over her, the strength in his body as he does have the balls to hoist her up. There's no wall, but there's a hall, and a door, and a turned lock. The bed's soft, which pisses her off because she wanted hard, and it's almost humiliating that she can want this shit so bad and he can simply pin her down with his weight and let her legs wrap around his waist as her crawling skin becomes writhing muscle.
She has always enjoyed sex, but she has never been a slave to it before.
He's her Alpha and he never takes advantage, so she knows this isn't even worth it. But she's practically screaming at him how bad she needs it, and his hand between her legs isn't what she wanted, even if it makes her hips buck up into his. His deep possessive growl as he makes her bare her throat to him, makes her ride the fingers inside her like the cock Sam used to fuck her with and the cock that Jake won't fuck her with, not when she's like this, half crazed with the need to mate. As good as letting them molest her, the Alpha calls it. When she's like this she doesn't even know what she's doing, and it's his job to watch out for her. If she needs release, he'd give it to her, because he's her Alpha, but when she goes from aroused to this, no one touches her but him.
Damn, he needs to touch her harder. Her hands in his jeans, she needs to touch him too.
She wants him in her mouth, his fingers digging into her hips, his body buried inside hers. He's pretty sure she doesn't even know his name right now, and until she comes back to herself, this is the best she's getting. She comes with a loud cry, his tongue inside her and his arousal in his hand, because fuck, he isn't a saint either. She wants him in her mouth and he lets her have it, calling himself an asshole even as he fists what's left of her hair, because he cares about her, always had, always will.
A few more days. A few more days and she'll be herself again, and then if she still wants him, they will be on his couch, her straddling his lap, his hard-on thick between her thighs as she ignores a movie and rides Jake like she'll fucking die without him. The thought, along with her breasts against his upper thighs, makes him snarl and buck his hips into her mouth. Her tongue feels amazing on his skin, her breath, her heat. Almost as amazing as when he jerks her upwards and makes her ride him, his length teasing along between her thighs as the friction gets him closer. It isn't enough for her, he knows it. She needs more, when she's in heat, it's always more. More than Leah actually wants, more than Jake's willing to give.
If he isn't going to fuck her, then she's decided that someone else tonight will. Anyone else, at this point, will do.
His snarl would have been frightening, but she's on her knees, and this isn't Sam before they were wolves. This is her Alpha, and he can and will give her what nature is making her need. He is huge, she loves every inch of it, loves feeling him take her harder and harder. And when she's falling apart, inside, upside down, couchless and alone, she cries out the name of her Alpha, her friend, and collapses. He drops down next to her, shifts away, so aroused that he's in pain but forcing himself to stop because this is about her, dammit, and not him. But she's worth it, making her happy is worth it, and not making her regret it is worth even more.
She's a she-wolf, but she's Leah too, and Jake will probably have to do this shit for years before she actually manages to control herself. She would have taken him back in her mouth, down her throat, into her heart and her belly and everything else she has left that isn't where Emily now is, but Jake wants her in his arms instead. Leah's hand on him, easing his stress, easing his pain. He nuzzles her neck, and Leah sighs, closing her eyes, because it's over, it's done…
The timer was going off because the pizza was done. Alone on her floor, Leah Clearwater lies watching Grosse Point Blank, her head resting on Embry's lap, and her feet pressed pathetically against Sam's feet. There's an elephant in this room, an old stain on her couch, and a wet spot on Embry's thigh where her lashes blink rapidly. She still hates this fucking movie.
No one says a damn thing.