I need me some Coach Hedge. Again, I own nothing!
Coach stood before them, the tip of his baseball planted between his hooves, hands grasping the other end. He fixed the majority of the Seven with a firm look, working his jaw as he considered each and every one of them. They sat on around the dining table, images of Camp Half-Blood panning slowly across the walls. Their creator, Leo, was sitting a little away from the others- his partner-in-crime was absent today. Louisa and her brother were in the helm, bickering over who got to steer the ship. Nico di Angelo was standing a few feet from his companions, one foot in the shadows, ready to bail at a second's notice.
"What's this about, Coach?" Jason asked. They were supposed to be on lookout duty, defending the ship as it sailed through the Mare Nostrum. Coach wouldn't have called them here if it wasn't serious.
"Now listen up, cupcakes, I'm only going to say this once and once should be enough, is that clear?"
"Yes, Coach." They chorused. Coach fixed a stern look on Nico, who sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Yes, Coach." He sounded impatient. Coach hmmph'ed and clonked his bat against the floor, collecting their attention. Nico frowned.
"I know you lot have had it tough, I know you've lost important people in your lives, so I just want to say that I've grown to tolerate you lunatics."
"Takes one to know one." Leo muttered.
"Can it, Valdez."
"Did you call us here to tell us you might sort of like us now?" Piper looked confused. "Coach, no offense, we love you too, but the ship-"
"Is fine." Coach cleared his throat and his fingers twitched on his bat. "What I want to say, I've quite enjoyed being your chaperone and, to an extent, your den mother. And, for the record, I am your mother now."
"But you're a middle-aged dude." Leo pointed out. "And a satyr."
"I am your mother now!" Coach scowled. "Ah, dammit, Valdez. I said it more than once! You're grounded."
"Say what now? This is my ship! You can't ground me!"
"Grounded! You're grounded, I say, grounded!"
"Gee," Leo shook his head, "just disown me already, mother."
"Valdez, I will smack you so hard, even Gaea would be sympathetic."
Just some Coach Hedge ^_^