I do not own the characters and I am not making a profit.
Rated T to M
Trade Secrets:
Give Me The Goods
"You are just soo gay," muttered Alice as she stared at a dark haired woman walking in front of The Planet then back to Dana as she lewdly watched the woman walking by on the sidewalk.
"So gay," Tina agreed.
"I know. I know," Dana muttered and shrugged her shoulders in defeat. She watched the last swing of the woman's black hair fly by as she disappeared around the corner and out of sight. Her eyes darted over to watch Shane walking from the bar over to their table. More than a few appreciative glances turned to stare at the skinny tom boyish brunette strut by.
Dana rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the glances, but it was just too hard. Everytime all of her circle of friends gathered at The Planet, she was the only one not getting checked out or hit on by the local lesbian regulars. She wondered often, just as she did now, if she didn't give off a straight chick vibe to potential love interests. Because after all, she thought, why would a lesbian hit on a straight woman?
"Any plans for today Dana?" Alice asked after swallowing her mouth full of coffee.
"I have a meeting with my trainer later and then I have to meet with my agent. Nothing different. Why?"
"No reason. Anyways, I have to go. Meeting with my editor," she mumbled, grabbed her purse and stood up. Looking down at Dana, she said, "you look good in that shirt."
"Yeah." A snort. "Right," Dana watched Alice leave then muttered, "she probably just said that to be nice."
Marina sat down at the table just then, glancing at Dana then at Tina. "Hey, how is it going over here?"
"Good." Tina glanced at her watch. "I have to go, I'm meeting Bette in an hour."
"Ahh. Good luck," Marina burred. "Fabulous shirt Dana."
Dana gazed down at her chest. "Oh this old thing." She blushed then smiled at Marina. She liked Marina, almost as much as Alice.
"Thanks," Tina said as she gathered her jacket and left The Planet in a rush.
Marina and Dana sat alone at the table.
Marina turned and glanced at Dana. "It might be old Dana, but you look good in it. How are things with you?"
"Not so good," Dana mumbled and stared down at her folded hands. "I just don't understand what's wrong with me?" She sighed. "I never get asked out, even when I look good; it's not like I have horns and a tail."
Marina laughed. "Honestly around this part of the city, you might get asked out more if you wore a pair of horns and a tail." She winked then reached out to touch Dana's wrist in a comforting gesture.
"It'll happen when you least expect it," Marina whispered. "Just be patient."
"Yeah right. Any more patience and I'll be dead," Dana mumbled and gazed out the window where that dark haired woman walked only a few short minutes ago. "How the hell do you do it? Women fall all over you, and you don't even have to try." Dana stared at Marina and waited for an answer. She needed to know why she was always the ugly duckling of the group. And who better to tell her than her gorgeous Italian friend.
"It's in the eyes."
"What do you mean. Do I have something in my eye?" Dana asked, confused then blinked and rubbed her eye to get out whatever Marina thought she saw in there.
"No not something in your eye. I mean… when you look at a woman, you look into her, not through her," said Marina.
"How do you look through a person?" Dana slapped her hand on the table. "Now you've totally lost me."
"Just listen alright?" Marina gazed at Dana.
Dana nodded. "Okay, okay. I'm listening. Tell me your secrets."
"It's not a secret. Here," Marina reached her hand out and grabbed Dana's chin, turning her face until their eyes locked. "Look into my eyes. Pay attention to them closely." Marina thought of Dana naked and underneath her.
Dana looked into swirling depths of brown, watched the pupil widen, and felt a flutter in her lower abdomen. "Wow," she whispered. "How did you do that?"
"Because you're my friend, I will tell you my trade secret." Marina leaned in until her lips were mere inches from Dana's. "I thought about you naked. Thought about the two of us together," she huskily whispered and watched as Dana's face went slack and her mouth dropped open.
"That's how you get women to fall all over you?" Dana squeaked without meaning to," you picture them naked!"
Marina shrugged. "I have almost a one-hundred percent success rate. It's how I have so many customers that are lesbians. They are not all here for the coffee," she said and winked. Standing up, Marina grabbed Dana's shoulder sympathetically and whispered, "try it tomorrow night and you'll see what I mean."
"Okay." Dana stared at the retreating form of her gorgeous friend and still didn't believe the truth. "What could it hurt? I might just end up like Shane and have women fighting over me," she mumbled to herself and gazed around at the now empty table she still sat at. "I'll practice in the mirror and then on Alice first."
Dana nodded slightly and said, "yeah. Alice won't know what hit her." She stood up from her chair, feeling confident about her flirting skills for the first time since puberty. She walked with a strut as she left The Planet and walked down to her car parked down the block. As she watched her reflection moving by in the shop windows, she failed to notice her sandal getting caught in a crack and fell down in a heap.
"Suave Dana," she muttered from her position face down on the cement. "Hey, I'll just practice the trick on the ER nurses. Spend enough time there anyways."
A shake of her head, and she got back to her feet, then started walking more cautiously to her car and planning how to get Alice to not make fun of her for having bruised knees. She can't lie and say she got it while performing sexual acts. Just won't be believable.
"Oh well," she mumbled and got in her car to go to the tennis courts. "Stick to flirting with the nurses Dane."
While driving away, Dana failed to notice the gorgeous blonde, standing on the sidewalk she just wiped out on, wearing a devil costume, and staring at her lustily as she mumbled to herself then drove away from The Planet.
A/N: This is just a little goofy tale I wrote while sitting in the dark and watching the L-word pilot for the eighth time. I started watching the show for Marina but quickly became entranced with Dana and her silly personality.
Shoot me a….review please? Button, button, who has pushed my blue button?