I apologize to all the brilliant authors I completely ripped off. I do not own the TMNT or any obvious parodies. I ripped off five ideas; see if you can spot them all!

Random Lies

Michelangelo ran in to the dojo just as Master Splinter was calling the training session to an end. Naturally, Master Splinter demanded an explanation as to his son's whereabouts.

"Master Splinter, I was up in the garage and I saw that April's van had a flat. So I changed it." Mikey explained.

"Wow," Donnie commented. "I knew you weren't good with tools, but three hours for a single tire?"

"I changed the tire in fifteen minutes! But just as I was putting in the last bolt thingy it broke loose and rolled back behind a pile of trash. I went after it."

"And that's why you were three hours late?" Leo asked skeptically.

"No, I was late because I fell in the hole!"

"What hole?" Donnie asked.

"The entrance to Martivian!" Mikey exclaimed, waving his hands in the air.

"This ought to be good." Raph sat on the floor and waited to be entertained. Master Splinter never lost the skeptical and judgmental expression on his face. He simply waited.

"The hole led to a tunnel and the tunnel was filled with bright lights and tons of wind! I fell for -like- a mile or something and landed on a pile of hay. Still hurt though.

"Anyway, after I climbed out of the haystack I was surrounded by tiny leprechaun dudes! I asked them how I was going to get home again and they told me I had to follow this road to the city of gold and ask the mighty sorceress to send me home!"

"Let me guess, the road had yellow bricks and you were there, and you were there, and there's no place like home!" Raph quipped.

"Still talking here!" Mikey glared at his brother. Raph held his hands up, smirking. The orange turtle sighed and continued, "So, I went down the road -which was a normal road by the way; asphalt, not brick- and one of the leprechaun guys followed me and told me that the ruler of Martivian had returned and they would like, totally need my help to beat the evil sorceress lady and put the rightful ruler dude on the thrown in the golden city. Oh, right, the leprechaun dude was sorry you guys weren't with me, something about a prophecy of four brothers and all."

"Eventually we were chased by a bunch of evil talking bobcats and they tried to stop us from getting to the camp where this rightful ruler dude was but we beat them to the camp and met this guy who looked a lot like Casey and said that he was the big king of Martivian."

"After meeting this dude, his -like- entire army went and attacked the golden city. I was in the group that totally went right after the sorceress lady. The king dude and the sorceress lady had a big battle showdown with swords and all. The king dude had to use this really cool lost art of fighting that the leprechaun dude had told him about to defeat the sorceress. But the sorceress lady was better at it or something and during this big battle she started winning.

After fighting dirty some, the sorceress knocked the king dude to the floor and like, totally popped the big one on him. She said that his long lost mother had never really died and then she said that she was the king's mother. Well, the king got really bummed about that and started fighting back again, eventually defeating her, it was really sad because he had to kill her and he had just found out she was his mother and all… bummer.

Anyway, after that I asked the king if I could go home and he said that I had the chance to go home with me the entire time. The little leprechaun dude! So I asked him and he pulled took me to this cave thing and down inside there was this stone square that looked like a pool except it was leaning against the wall instead of on the floor. We went through the square and there were more lights and more wind and I landed back in the garage. And that's why I'm late."

For a minute Michelangelo's family was dead silent. Then, Raph started to clap. "Great Mikey! I haven't seen this much bologna since Marty's Meats went out of business!"

"Classic Mikey, telling something like that to get out of trouble." Leo sighed and shook his head.

"And so original." Donnie snorted.

Master Splinter also sighed. He dropped his head and gave it a tired little shake. "Michelangelo, return to your room and I shall consider your punishment in full." Mikey bowed respectfully before going to his room.

He closed the door to his room and sighed. "I should have known they wouldn't believe me." Mikey muttered.

"I told you; you should have said 'lug nut' instead of 'bolt thingy'." The leprechaun scolded him.