The characters and setting are owned by the Sci-Fi channel and L. Frank Baum. The plot is my own.
I still have a mental block for my multi-chapter fic and this was begging to be written so I had to succumb to the voices.
Please, Review... I live on reviews.
As always, thank you for reading!
Blame
Alone time was the one commodity the Princess didn't possess, and ironically it was the only one she wanted. The majority of her childhood, the portion that wasn't mere out of order snapshots, she had spent as a loner. Drawing and reading had been her thing, living out her dreams on paper in both cases.
One of the first things she did following the events of the eclipse was to scout out the enormous library. First to determine how it was organized and then to find the perfect books to read. The novel concealed in the small purse at her side was one that she lifted from the library, an OZ version of a mystery. DG hoped she wouldn't need the OZ adaptation of an encyclopedia to help her through the inner workings of the plot.
She was desperate for some time to herself and not in her room; she spent enough of her time staring at those four walls. The grounds of Finaqua beckoned to her, willing her to explore and rest in their luxurious atmosphere.
It had been difficult, but DG managed to give Cain the slip during her lunch. While his back was turned she snuck out through the entrance used by the servants and beat a fast course through the long corridors to a side door that opened to the beautifully landscaped grounds.
Taking a deep breath, DG took in the scent of the blooming flowers in the garden. It was gorgeous, peaceful and completely vacant, the perfect location for girl to take refuge. Walking the paths in the flowers slowly, DG peered from side to side trying to find a place to relax and read. Finally she noticed a little clearing that was surrounded on all sides by large plants that resembled hydrangeas. From the path it would be difficult to see someone inside but yet it was open enough for plenty of light and room for stretching.
Carefully she squeezed her way between two of the bushes. DG kicked off her shoes and sunk down onto the ground. Sprawling herself out on her stomach she ran her bare toes over the cool green grass and sighed contentedly. The book fell open in front of her and she began to eagerly read the sentences the author had penned ages ago.
It wasn't long before she inserted herself and friends into the plot. The book was centered around a small town on the verge of destruction by unknown forces. There was a small family, a single father with two children, a boy and a girl, just about to start out on their own. She pictured Ahamo as the father while she took on the persona of the daughter and Glitch was the son, he was like a brother to her after all. An older woman who refused to leave the dying village made her think about Azkadellia and the doctor with the gentle touch was most definitely Raw.
That left the hero of the story and there was no doubt that role could only be played by Cain. He was her hero in every possible definition of the word. He had kept her safe on their expedition through all the dangerous places the OZ had to offer. Now he was even her personal bodyguard. And it only made the role more prominent when a relationship was gathering strength on the back burner for their characters. She was pining after him unbeknownst to anyone, and she would keep it that way. There was an expectation, at least in her mind, that if he ever found out about her true feelings he would run for the hills. Ironically, the positions were semi-reversed in the novel.
The time flew by and while some people passed her hideout not one took notice of the smiling girl, and DG paid them no attention either. That was until two guards paused near her location to have a conversation that peaked her interest.
"If it wasn't for the perks of this job, I'd be outta here," a male voice commented. There was a certain frustration to the tone that made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. She recognized it immediately as Larrod, a young man who was learning the ropes of life on security detail. He had seemed friendly enough during their brief encounters over the last few months.
"Yeah, having to see her every day leaves me wanting to lose my lunch," the other responded. She had no doubt it was Heron, Larrod's mentor.
DG scrunched up her brow at the statement, her fingers clamping down on the sides of her book. While many people blamed Azkadellia for all the problems the OZ faced she never realized that two of the palace guards were among them. As it was, Azkadellia barely left her quarters so the occupants of their home, with the exception of her family, rarely saw the young woman.
"I feel like a glorified babysitter," groaned Heron. "Can't imagine how Cain feels."
Her heart thumped awkwardly in her chest, seemingly missing a few beats. Cain, a babysitter? Is that how he felt about his position? DG knew he would never have said it out loud, let alone to Heron who was nothing more to Cain then a coworker, but just the thought of him feeling trapped in a demeaning job made her head spin.
"Well, he takes his job seriously enough." Larrod pointed out. "Why else would we be out here looking for her."
Confusion swept through DG. Azkadellia out of her room let alone the palace was completely unheard of in and of itself. The fact that Cain was sending out search parties was even more baffling given that he wasn't her bodyguard.
"And it amazes me that he even cares, particularly since she's responsible for everything that happened to the OZ," growled Heron, anger laced in every word he spoke.
He had lost a lot in the war. Both his son and daughter were a part of the resistance and had been killed by LongCoats during the same skirmish. Not long after that his wife took her own life. But Cain had vouched for the man, had deemed him capable of this protection assignment and she had never known him to put his faith in people who were undeserving.
DG's blood was heating in her veins, flowing quickly and flushing her face. She was close to being pushed over the edge by the men who were supposed to look out for the wellbeing of her family. It was nearing the time she would give them a piece of her mind.
"What'd you mean? Azkadellia did it all, not DG," Larrod said, sounding confused at Heron's statement.
DG's blood stopped cold. They hadn't been referring to her sister at all. She was the one they were looking for, she was the one Heron blamed for the troubles in the OZ. There was no way she could interrupt now even if she wanted to. Her mouth went dry, cotton taking up refuge in her cheeks. If this was what people felt, she had to know why, had to find out.
"You're a fool. Didn't you read the statement the Queen released?" Fury filled him and she could picture in her mind's eye his flushed face and rigid posture. The other man didn't respond and Heron continued with his tirade. "The Queen provided all the information about what happened in that letter she sent out to the people, hoping they would forgive her eldest. It didn't have the effect she hoped. Some are now blaming the youngest instead. I'm among them. Turns out it was DG that freed the Sorceress who possessed her older sister."
A low whistle caught her attention. "So that's why Cain's been so uptight recently," Larrod finally commented.
"Can you blame the man?" Heron rumbled. "Imagine, being in charge of the safety of the very person who destroyed your life."
She felt her face pale, blood draining from the surface. Her fingers ached from the tight grip on the bindings of the novel resting on the ground before her, her knuckles white from the pressure they were exerting. Sure, she had thought herself responsible for what had happened, but hearing it spoken aloud by others was another thing.
Cain had to hate her, why she had never seen that before she couldn't understand. Her stomach seized and she felt as if it would soon allow its contents to see the light of day for the second time. Rising to her knees she pushed the book aside and retched into one of the bushes along the border of the small clearing. Then she retched again, and again.
When her stomach finally settled down she leaned back onto her feet, wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her dress. A noise to her left caused her to turn her attention that way only to see the flabbergasted faces of the two guards who had just revealed too much of themselves. Part of her wanted to argue with the men, tell them she had been a child and hadn't meant any harm. Another part wanted to run for cover under the scrutiny of their watchful eyes. Her body made the choice for her mind, and it chose the latter.
In the blink of an eye she had extracted herself from the bushes onto a path on the opposite side from the guards, managing to tear her clothing and scrape her skin in the process. DG was running full out, oblivious to the punishment her bare feet were taking from the rocky trail. She made no attempt to stop when the lake came into view, sprinting along the edge. When she finally pulled up to rest she was at the end of a dock positioned half a mile down the coastline from the palace.
Her tears flowed, mingling with the water of the lake. The blood seeping from the cuts on her arms and back stained the pale green of her dress an awful red. There was no way she could determine how long she stood there, praying that it had all been a terrible nightmare. Not just the overheard conversation, but her place in the OZ as a whole. How she longed to wake up back in Kansas with tears on her pillow from such a vivid dream and Momster and Popsicle there to pick up the pieces. But she knew it was all too real.
The second sun was sinking down under the horizon when a voice behind her made her turn. Standing on the shore was the very man she would have done anything to make happy. If that meant trading places with Adora, there would be no hesitation, she would gladly do it just to see a smile on his face.
"Princess, it isn't safe out here so exposed," he said loudly, giving her no room to question him.
Ever the protector, she thought. Even for the girl who placed you in that Iron Maiden. I may not have pushed you in, but I closed the door on your fate when I went into that cave. DG tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat, to no avail.
"Come on, Princess. You had your fun, time to head back to the palace," Cain practically growled. He had one hand on his hip, thumb hooked in his belt just behind his gun, and the other stretched out in front of him palm up beckoning her forward.
He seemed angry, not that she could blame the man. Taking a step back instead, she felt the edge of the dock under her heel. Cain's face changed suddenly and his eyes flicked to her feet and back to her face. His brows knitted under his fedora as he took in her haggard form.
"DG," he breathed. "What's wrong?"
She thought he seemed sincere enough, wanting to know what was causing her pain. DG couldn't take it anymore. One more swallow and the lump was dislodged.
"I'm sorry," she gasped. "I didn't know." It wasn't much of an apology and she knew he deserved so much more for all he had done, all he had lost.
"DG," he began again, but seemed to falter slightly. Words had never come easily to Cain; he was more of the silent brooding type, facial expressions saying more than his words could. But this time she couldn't read his features one iota.
Her eyes were locked on his for what felt like an eternity, begging for forgiveness that she thought she'd neither receive nor deserve. When she straightened up to her full height she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. As she turned around, diving into the cool watery depths of the lake, she heard him scream her name before she broke the calm facade.
DG had never learned to swim properly, and right then she couldn't have been happier about it. She allowed her breathless body and the many layers of her clothing pull her down to the bottom without even attempting to flail any limbs to get her back on the surface. The sandy, reed-filled lake bottom began to blur as her consciousness started to ebb away. Her lungs burned behind her ribcage. Instinct took over as her limbs were forced into work, but it was too little too late. There was no way she could make it back to the surface.
The last thought that raced through her oxygen deprived brain was that at least this would give some comfort to those lives she destroyed.
Suddenly her eyes burst open, leaning onto her side water spewed forth from her mouth. DG's chest heaved, painfully sucking in air, letting it out again and repeating the process a few times before she allowed herself to take in her surroundings.
She was lying along the shore of the lake, trees closing their distance on the coast. The dock was just a few feet down the shore with a faded green article of clothing, a rumpled hat, and a gun belt discarded somewhere in between. She knew who they belonged to and dreaded the implications.
Closing her eyes, DG rolled over on her back, her hand clutching at her chest. Even though she was breathing it wasn't a comfortable sensation. Her ribs were bruised, and the cause was only too clear. She had been dead, he had given her CPR. Although there was more to focus her mind on she couldn't help but wonder when the OZ had discovered the life saving process and what it was called on this side of the travel storm.
Feeling water dripping onto her shoulder she opened her eyes only to be staring into those of Cain. And they looked anything but happy. There was anger, concern, fear, and a wealth of other emotions in those icy blue pools. He was out of breath himself and soaked to the skin.
"What the hell, DG," Cain growled, running a hand over his drenched scalp. He maneuvered away, off his knees and into a seated position, his left leg raised to his chest and his right bent beneath the other. His elbow rested on his raised knee, his hand fisted in his hair. "Why would you do that?" he asked, exasperated.
She ignored the question. Slowly she leaned on her arm and pushed herself onto her knees. Her body was shaky and the world teetered from side to side. It took a few moments until she could raise herself onto her feet, palm of her hand placed over her temple to try to ease the spinning.
"Why didn't you let me drown?" DG asked, her voice scratchy from being waterlogged. It was more of a rhetorical question since she didn't really expect an answer.
Focusing her attention through the growing darkness on the distant palace, she felt his eyes move to look at her. Goose bumps began forming over her damp skin. After taking two steps toward the home of her family, the world threatened to send her crashing down onto her back once more. Two strong hands on her shoulders was all that kept her upright.
"Sit down, Princess," Cain said, with more gentleness in his voice then before. "You're unsteady on your feet."
"I'm fine," she huffed, pushing his hands off their purchase, taking one more step and collapsing to her knees. Digging her hands into the grass, she groaned at her inability to keep her feet. "Damn it!"
His hands found her shoulders again and forced her body backwards until she had landed on her butt, her back pressed up against his chest. One arm was around her waist and the other around her collarbone, holding her in place.
"I told you to sit down," he grunted. "Maybe next time you'll listen." There was a long pause as she tried to escape her confinement. "Now, you're going to stay here until I tell you we're ready to head back." It was a command and she suddenly stopped moving with the heat behind his words. "Understood?"
All she could do was nod in response, her voice failing her.
"Good," he said into her hair. "Did you honestly expect me to stand on the shore and watch you drown yourself?" he asked. "What kind of bodyguard would that make me?"
She assumed it was his version of a rhetorical question because she had no inclination to answer. Crossing her arms over her chest, leaning slightly on the arm across her waist, her jaw clenched unconsciously. If he was planning on keeping her there she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of prying any information out of her, at least not easily.
"You do realize you'll never be out of my sight again." There was no amusement or even sarcasm in his tone of voice.
DG sighed through her nose and let her arms drop from their place across her chest. Her head sagged at the thought of even less time to herself. She could picture him sitting in a chair just inside her bedroom door, timing her in the bathroom, charging in if she took too long.
Tears began to flow again. She hated that he felt so obligated to protect her, the person who caused the death of his wife. Why he even chose to stick around was a mystery.
"Now, are you going to tell me what this was all about?" he inquired. "Because we'll stay like this until you do." He squeezed his arms roughly. It was an ultimatum. Either she fessed up or would be confined like that until hell froze over. Just a few hours earlier it would have been a dream come true, now it was a nightmare.
"I'd rather not say," she whispered, embarrassment working its way through her body. She didn't want to hear his platitudes and attempt at denial.
"That's okay, DG," Cain said, sounding perfectly at ease with her refusal. "I'm perfectly comfortable. I just hope you are."
DG sighed again. "Fine," she barked. He always managed to win their arguments and debates. She would just save herself time and agony by getting it over and done with. "I hear the letter my Mother wrote went over swimmingly."
DG felt him stiffen at her words. "What've you heard?" he breathed.
"Oh, nothing much," she waved an arm nonchalantly in front of her as she spoke. "Just that people now know I'm the one to blame and not Az."
His fingers dug into her side and shoulder painfully at her remarks and she heard him swallow loudly next to her ear. Cain didn't try to deny it and she just managed to muffle a sob. Even though she had expected the reaction, it was still hard to bear.
"So, Mr. Cain," she ground out through her tightened jaw. "The guards were wondering why you're still here, and so am I."
After a few moments of utter silence DG heard him swallow yet again. "I don't think you're responsible," he whispered. A shrill snort of laughter emanated from her lips. He ignored it. "You were a curious child. If people blame you then they have no self respect."
This time she didn't laugh just shook her head slightly. It was what DG expected, denial. He would never let on he blamed her, even if it was true. Cain was too much of a gentleman and too focused on her safety to allow her to break under his condemnation.
"I think its best if you leave, Mr. Cain. My parents will find me another bodyguard." DG just couldn't handle being in his presence anymore. It was pure torture to be so close trying to submerge feelings she had no right to have and being swamped with guilt after her heated dreams. It would only increase tenfold after the overheard conversation.
He tensed again, arms flexing around her uncontrollably. "So, you're dismissing me, are you?" Cain's words were stiff and emotionless, something she should have been used to, but over the last few months he had lost that stoic nature. Now she had forced it back upon him. And that was her second, or was it her third, strike. Who could keep count?
Cain leaned in close to her right ear, his breath tickling the sensitive skin. "I'm afraid you're gonna have a more difficult time with that then you think, Princess. I'm not going anywhere even if I'm not your official bodyguard. Especially not now. Not ever. So get used to it."
After a moment of reflective thought she went to work. With a flurry of movement she had extracted herself from his hold and crawled on hands and knees away from his seated form. DG had barely made it to her feet when she was surrounded by his arms once more.
She huffed uncontrollably and fought against his hold. Slamming her bare foot down on the arch of his earned her a grunt but did nothing to loosen her bindings. An elbow to the ribcage released an angry breath but only served to tighten his arms. She even tried to take his legs out from under him but only managed to lose her own footing, lurching forward, taking him with her. He rolled mid air taking the brunt of the assault as he landed on his back with her on top of him. Even though she had taken him by surprise she was still trapped.
DG groaned and elbowed him one more time before going still. "I told you," he began, sounding breathless. "We're not going anywhere until I say so." He released his hold on her torso and allowed her to sit up facing him. DG was angry, embarrassed and completely out of her element, not that she had one.
"What do you want?" she ground out, looking anywhere but straight ahead. His gaze was uncomfortable enough without meeting it.
"I want you to believe me when I tell you I don't blame you." DG snorted again, in humorless laughter. "I mean it, DG. When have I ever lied to you?"
Her head shot up at that, finally looking him in the eye. Cain had never lied to her, it was against his nature. He always told the God's honest truth, a quality that more people should possess. He would even go so far as to tell her she looked terrible when she was having a bad day. That did irk her some, but at least she could count on him to not give false praise.
It was as if she was seeing him for the first time. There was a desperation in his eyes that made her quail. He was begging her to believe in him. Her features softened and she couldn't help it when her tips twitched into a small smile.
"Never, Mr. Cain," she replied.
"Does that mean you believe me?" he asked, his own lips turning up at the corners.
Never losing eye contact she nodded in response.
When he scooted forward, closing the distance between their seated bodies she flinched and looked away into the trees. The last sun was gone, the moon was full but low, peaking through some of the branches. The darkness was eerie and the temperature began to drop. She convinced herself those were the reasons the chill went up her spine and not the nearness of her unrequited love.
"Tell me you didn't do such a stupid thing because of me," he whispered. With the lack of space between them there was no need for volume. Cain's voice was weird, uncharacteristic like he was pained by the words leaving his lips.
DG couldn't respond. Even if her vocal cords would work, which she was pretty sure they were so dry they were being blown away by her erratic breathing, she knew she couldn't lie to the man. And if there was ever a time for lying this was it. How could she explain that it wasn't merely due to thinking he blamed her? Part of it was that she truly blamed herself. Another was her inability to take the hurt away from the man she loved. So, she just held her tongue and her wandering gaze.
Her silence told him all he needed to hear and he began running the back of his fingers over her cheek. DG closed her eyes at the contact and was powerless to stop the blush that was gathering under his caress.
"Don't you know that would've killed me?" DG recoiled faintly, a tear sliding down the opposite cheek from his attention.
"Right," she wheezed. "Would put you out of a job." DG had no idea where this resentment came from, or why she chose that moment to voice it, but there it was, out in the open.
She heard him grumble something unintelligible before he spoke. "Didn't I already tell you I'd be sticking around no matter what? I think you better clean out those ears of yours. I'm tired of repeating myself." Cain grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, his fingers digging in deep, and he shook her harder then he probably meant to but it had the desired affect. She turned to capture his gaze once more.
"DG, you are the kindest person I've ever met and I want to keep you from harm. And if that means protecting you from yourself then so be it." His hand came up to continue its ministrations on her cheek and along her jaw line. "It would kill me if any harm came to you."
"As what?" she asked, her bravery swelling from an unknown source. Cain looked at her, bewilderment evident in his facial features. DG knew she had to elaborate. "As a duty? A Princess? A friend?" There was no way in hell she could ask the last part.
His mouth quirked up into a half smirk that was completely Cainish in its charm. "Sweetheart," he hummed and she felt her heart jump in her chest at the new nickname. "You are not a duty to me, it may have been how it started out but that's all changed." His other hand came up to mirror the caresses of the first. "And to be perfectly honest, it wouldn't affect me nearly as much if harm came to Azkadellia as it would if it were you." Her eyes fluttered closed. "You are definitely a friend to me, but that's not why it would kill me."
DG's eyes flashed open and her brow creased. She didn't speak, didn't know what to say. DG didn't want to break this moment with foolish words and inevitable awkwardness if her bravery overflowed a bit too much.
"I've already lost one woman I loved. I would die if it happened again."
She gasped, eyes going wider then normal. This was surreal and she fully expected to wake up spitting water out of her mouth again. Opening her mouth to speak she snapped it shut again, repeating it twice more before remaining slack jawed. But she attempted to make her eyes speak volumes.
When his half smirk turned into a full blown smile she knew he had received her message. One of his hands slithered into her hair, grasping the back of her head while the other slid down her neck and shoulder to hold onto her hip. As Cain pulled her face to his and his lips pressed up against her own she purred in contentment. The sensation was beyond all the dreams she had encountered. It wasn't tender or careful. It was needy and desperate, everything both of them were feeling.
"I blame you for this," Cain said as he pressed his forehead to hers.
DG laughed loudly and heartily at his words. For once she would gladly harbor guilt for her actions. "I can't say I'm sorry," she giggled and pulled him in for another searing kiss.