Summary: "It wasn't even five yet, she was sure of it, but all his stuff was gone. Just like that he had gotten up and left them- her and New York. Maybe that was how it was all supposed to turn out, but she was pretty sure it wasn't. She had plans, Big plans- it just turned out Big had plans of his own." During Carrie's last date with Mr. Big, before he so sporadically moves to Napa, she is called to Miranda's side due to the birth of her best friends child. Being the gentleman he is, Big lovingly suggests she attends her friend at once, and Carrie leaves to the Hospital- watching as John rides away in the horse-drawn carriage. The next day, after Brady is born, Carrie finds herself returning to Big's apartment to bid him goodbye- except, Big has already left and taken a piece of Carrie's heart with him. Here she reflects on what could have been and what is to come.
Rating: Low. This is an easy-going, wonderfully fluff-filled reflection piece.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my extreme love for the wonderful shipping of Mr. John Big and the lovely Ms. Carrie Bradshaw.
Author's Note: This is a short ficlette based on my ultimate favorite episode, "I heart ny", also the last installment of the fourth season- but because it is a ficlette this means there is no more to come. sniffle I hope you enjoy this, though, as I have quite enjoyed writing it. Read and review if you'd like, and maybe I'll write some more SATC fiction one day. :)
She had been lonely just two night's ago; so she had picked up the phone, dialed his number, and been comfortably reassured when he answered. Offering him able company, he willingly accepted, and she rushed to his apartment with a fresh pizza and a sincere smile. That smile had quickly faded, however, with one glance around the hollow apartment. It looked as though it had been stripped of its life, robbed of everything that once made it so beautiful, and emptied of its contents that had made for it a story- silently, Carrie had felt exactly like the rooms; stripped, robbed, and emptied. Big was moving.
There was no changing his mind, she had tried to- begged and pleaded for him to stay, for her sake, for the sake of New York City. He just chuckled, per usual, teasingly retorting with the fact she had always been one for dramatics as he shrugged off her display of emotion. He was leaving to go to Napa County, California. And why? Because he was tired of the city.
Of course, still not dropping the topic, she told him that if you were tired, you "take a nap-a, you don't move to Napa!"
The thought now made her laugh softly, as she stood in the centre of the room where his bed had once been, the crimson wall before her sending soft sensations surging through her spine. There were so many memories, which seemed to be the only thing Big hadn't taken with him, flowing around the walls and radiating through her sorrowful mind.
Many of her firsts had occurred within these walls, such as her first true love and her first true love affair. As well, many of her lasts had occurred just movements away, the last time she had danced with him, the last time they'd share a slice of pizza over tired jokes, the last time it seemed she'd ever be with him- really with him.
Sighing deeply, she turned her body in a full circle, eyes darting from wall to wall as the tears welled up in her beautiful eyes of cerulean. Subconsciously, she had told herself last night that he really wasn't going to leave, that he would realize what a big mistake the idea was and he'd call her up with the thought of canceling, she'd agree that it was moronic, and they'd both return to her doorstep after a wonderful dinner that evening; nothing would change, nothing had to change, nothing should have changed.
It's funny how long she had held onto him, through thick and thin really, and how strong her grip had been on the relationship. Neither Miranda nor Samantha had ever really approved of him, yet she vouched for his dignity and pride at every turn in conversation that led to the admirable man, whom both the other women found less than decent. She had been there during his marriage to the stick-figure-with-no-soul, and she had even stuck around after their illicit affair that had ruined what little reputation he had left. Now, even though she had kept holding on, he had let go. And so, she would try to let go too.
Perhaps, in that sense, a woman's girlfriend's were like shoes and her man was like a handbag. You see, good shoes are something needed constantly, not only in the fashion world but in the real world. They protect you from sole damage, they brighten up your wardrobe, they add a little bit of spice to your daily ensemble, and they're worth every penny. Handbags are just an accessory, they look great, sometimes they make you feel better than you already are, and sometimes you end up finding they aren't really what you were looking for. Sometimes, your shoes and your handbag match perfectly, and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they look really great together, and sometimes you just can't seem to get them to fit. But, secretly, you treasure both- and when you decide to tuck away your favorite pair of shoes you pull out that old handbag, or vice versa. Because of this, Carrie knew, she'd never be able to forget him. When needed, she'd have to pull out that old handbag, saving her favorite pairs of shoes for another day.
It wasn't even five yet, and a third glance at her watch made her sure of it, yet all his stuff was gone. Nothing on the walls but dangling nails and barren hooks, nothing on the floors but a few sparse boxes and some curtain rods.
What really bugged her though was that he hadn't even wanted to say good-bye, truthfully, she hadn't wanted to either- it would have been full of awkward mumbles, uncomfortable tears, and shaded confessions of unrealistic proportions.
But it still irked her.
Just like that, he had gotten up and left them- her and New York. Maybe that was how it was all supposed to turn out, but she was pretty sure it wasn't. She had plans, Big plans- it just turned out Big had plans of his own.
A few steps into the next room, to clear her mind, caused her eyes to catch at the glimpse of a pristine, white envelope and a multi-colored package. Nearing both objects, the only things to fill the room, she found them to be what looked like a letter from Big and an old record. She was correct on both accounts. Picking up the record, she allowed a smirk to dance across her crimson lips as she read the note John had haphazardly plastered across it, ""If you ever feel lonely." It was Henry Mancini's, "Moon River", the music they had danced to just an evening ago. The envelope was labeled as well, but instead with the words, "If I ever feel lonely." Excitement rushing through her, she opened it to find an airline ticket to California.
Proof, that just perhaps, somewhere out there Big was still thinking about her, still wondering if she was okay, still missing her terribly- just as she was thinking, wondering, and missing him.
And that was truly why she loved New York with all her heart and soul; because aside from being the city that never sleeps, it was the city where anything and everything is always possible. It was the city where the most unexpected things happen to the most un-expecting people, where fantasy can easily become reality, and where a story is never completely finished. Not ever.
She assumed her story was not completely finished, and a half-hour later she left Big's apartment, hardly being able to wait for what would happen next.