Hey! Well, I'm still hunting for ideas, so here's another oneshot! I've been hit with a case of writer's block, so... Heh. I tried this oneshot to refresh my ideas, so meh.

So, it's a one-sided Gallantshipping that I wanted to try. I tried to do a weird style of writing, just for fun. I'm not going to explain much, and you can decided if "I" is someone looking in or not. Have fun! :D

FIC!

Smile.

Just smile, because... isn't that what people do when they're happy? Or, at least that's what the usual crowd does. Smiling equals happy days, after all, happy, happy days like those commercials where everyone seems to think that baring teeth is the foundation to high profits and eternal fortune.

Come on, Rade, it's not that hard. I mean, sure you don't do it a lot-

-the word is a terrible place, I know-

But seriously girl, he's your best friend, and he's just told you he's in love...

-Yes, that stupid word again, the sweet yet oh-so-bitter word that was suppose to be everything that everyone wants to be (though you think of it as more of a filthy mud pit filled with poisonous clams and fanged eels than anything)-

... And you should be happy.

Even when you're not...

-Oh, he's looking at you now. He's waiting for that smile that ain't coming. Something that isn't the disgust and anger and fear that is churning in that rusty-yet-still-beating-heart like a soup that the local Shuppet would just adore-

...Rade, girl, it's written over your face.

Hide it, stupid.

Of course it feels like your heart is being ripped out, but in your mind, that's not happening. You've managed to lie to yourself and say it's all just because you have to deal with this girl or that girl at the base more often, or because missions will be difficult when you have to go solo.

...And when your rusting-bleeding-screaming heart is set on fire by each new admittance of love to some new girl that he's fallen for, you don't feel the pain. You don't feel it because you've managed to trick yourself into believing that it isn't there.

Even though it still hurts.

-He's still waiting, darling-

Of course, your awfulness aside, you really think that he'd learn by now, but he doesn't, and you know that he probably won't. Ever.

So when he falls for yet another girl, what else can you do but watch him until he needs saving?

You'll catch him of course, you always do-

...but here's the thing, girl. You may be strong, you may be able to heave three tons of mass over your head with a flick of your thorned vines, and you may be able to kick the ass of anyone that dares to go against you, but you're not strong enough to catch him and not not crack like the decline of a mountain. You'll catch him, after a bit of time when he realizes that his love is merely a shallow puddle of surface looks with as much depth as illusion in the heat-

... and another crack will form in the collection of the duct-tapped black thing that is your heart.

-He calls your name-

...And you're back on the miserable blue marble that is Earth, all the while wishing that you could be released into the black chaos beyond it. It'd be just as cold...

At least it wouldn't hurt as much.

Because this heart can't really take much more, can it? It's only a matter of time before the brittle metal snaps from the chill of unrequited emotion...

Then what, Rade?

You don't know, and you know that you don't want to find out. But if this keeps up, you will.

And it's only a question of if it's going to be a bang or a whimper.

-Shake your head, Rade, tell him that you were just thinking so he doesn't worry-

He doesn't deserve to worry about you.

If he knew what he was doing to you...

But he doesn't, and he won't, because, let's face it, Rade...

-You're just the best friend-

(The best friend that is physically invincible and emotionally blank.

Never mind the times where you were nearly killed in missions that you had to do alone, because he was busy.

Or all of the times you sobbed alone in the night into your pillow.

Just forget those times, because they'll never happen again, right?)

-He's watching you, girl-

Wrong.

Because, let's face it, Rade. Those times will happen again.

You may be strong, but between sleepless nights, heart breaking events and the physical beating that is your job, you are growing weak. The foundation of your body is slowly cracking. And more and more everyday, you're wondering if life is really worth living.

You're breaking down, girl.

...And there's nothing you can do about it.

Because... your fate was sealed the moment you fell in love with him.

(The coldness that started from the rusty ball in your chest is steadily moving to spread through your entire body. It's colder, isn't it, Rade? Can you move?)

You were doomed to walk by his side that day, and it kills you to know that.

You sealed the enveloped, and the stamp was your heart.

(Never mind the fact that you'll never get it back.

He can't give it back since he doesn't know he has it.)

-So-

Do something, because you know that you've got to.

Because he'll never see you as more than the best friend.

(No matter all that you sacrifice for him- you could be living in comfort instead of having your heart broken every day by him.

Or what you've gone through- the scars and nightmares are an example.

Or anything, for that matter.)

And you've got to show him that you don't care.

Even though you do. A lot.

You'd care with all of your heart if you still had it.

-But you don't. And that's the most bitter part of all-

Your mouth slowly moves upwards.

-That's it-

And you smile.

(Smiling shouldn't hurt. But it does. Because you know that what you have is all you're going to get, and that kills you, too.)

But what can you do about that?

You love him, after all.

-Even if you don't want to-

"That's great, Gallade."

And inside, the heart that still beats but apparently doesn't breaks a little more.

Yeah, I hate onesided relationships... This was really fun to write, though... Well, SU out!