Out on the road today, I saw a DEADHEAD sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back"
I thought I knew what love was
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever
I should just let them go but-
I still can't believe you bought that silly car. I mean honestly who besides 3 drag queens would buy a beast of a 1970 rag top Cadillac? You that's who. And to honor your father, the eternal DEADHEAD , a skull sticker on the bumper. How long have you had that car? Oh yeah, 10 years. I was one of the first one to meet Bertha.
"Leah, really? Are you trying to kill the environment?" She just laughs at me. "No Sam I am not! But honestly where am I going to go? I just need to get back and forth to Port Angeles. Might as well do it in style!" Well she has a point I suppose. We were standing outside my home with her family so she could show off her "new" car. I was amazed when I saw her coming up the drive with her ponytail flying in the wind, shades on, radio blaring. She had never looked more beautiful to me. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have her.
You wave happily at Emily and me as you pass. You finally finding your imprint has really helped you retrieve the relationship you had with your cousin. I know you still hold contempt in your heart for me, but that's to be expected. Did I ever really try to fight for your love? No, I suppose I didn't. I could use all kinds of excuses: it was inevitable, unfightable, magical. Whatever. I knew I could've fought harder, at least against the council. Emily could've asked me to be her friend, her brother. I didn't HAVE to be her lover. But I did. I listened to the council and the legends and made her my lover, my fiancé, and finally my wife. So now I live in regret and it hits harder every time I see you with Jacob. Of all people! The true Alpha. The best thing about that was him actually taking the Alpha spot giving me space to just be me.
I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got that top pulled down and that radio on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone
I wish I could say that our imprints were passing fancies but I know I can't. I sold out to the "higher power" and must live with the consequences. Doesn't make it any less painful. Doesn't make the regret go away. So I smile and bear it. I continue living a life filled with what ifs. But my love will never go away, never fade, never weaken. That I can guarantee.