Sirius slammed yet another book shut and added it to the mounting pile at the corner of the oval table in the soft candle lit library. The library was disserted; all the other pupils were outside playing in the white fluffy snow that was falling heavily making a soft white blanket around the castle.

Sirius did not know why he was revising; it was months until his OWLs and the teachers had not said anything about starting to revise. However, even though he had through about twenty books in the last three hours he had not learnt a thing.

He was thinking about the love of his life as he opened yet another book. Rather larger this time, he was not sure why he loved this person, he had started questioning who he really was since his annoying brother, saint Regulus (as his parents called him) had written to them telling them Sirius was gay in Sirius' third year after getting rather drunk and kissed a sixth year.

He breathed heavily 'Fuck it' he thought 'I'm not the Sirius Black that entered this school; I'm not the Sirius that everyone knows and loves'. The question that was really nagging on his mind was 'who am I?'

Sirius knew how he felt and did not want to tell his friends not even his best friend who he had confided in when he trusted no other, James Potter. Also he did not really know whether to tell the friend that was more than a friend to him.

Ever since his parents had sent a howler telling him yet again that he was a disgrace to the family name. He had questioned whether he was straight; he ran a hand through his black perfectly kempt silky soft hair. He tried to read the page he was reading.

"Sirius, why are you in here? Reading is my pastime"

"Very funny", if you really want to know I am revising" Sirius looked at the mousy-haired boy that stood stupidly with a rather large grin on his face and immediately wished he had not as he felt his cheeks glow red "We were wondering why there were no girls hanging about with us?"

"Remus, is that all I am?"

"What's the matter with you?" Remus knelt down next to Sirius and put his hand on Sirius' knee, he blushed redder still.

"You're blushing" Remus frowned trying to search Sirius' eyes for answers

"Who am I?"

"You're Sirius Black, the puller"

"I'm not Remus…" Sirius tried to stop his emotions getting the better of him

"Sirius, you aren't yourself, as I asked before, what is the matter?" Remus could see right through him and that worried Sirius "You know?" he made a few books fly off the table as his hand whipped around along with his head

"How you feel towards boys? Yeah I do"

"That's not everything' Sirius put his hand under Remus' chin and pulled his head gently towards him 'I love you, Remus, not just boys, you" Sirius brushed his lips against Remus' but Remus pulled away taking his hand off Sirius' knee.

"You're confused mate, alright? You are just confused"