I stood in this pouring rain. The water drop came down hitting my cheek, mixed with the tears that I unconsciously shed. The sky was dark blue, with gray clouds hanging loosely on it's surface, hid the sunlight from me. My cheeks got slightly warmer when I imagined you coming to me with smile on your face and an umbrella in your hand.

'What are you doing?' you would ask me.

'Don't you feel cold?' That is what you would say when you reached my numb hands.

'You're getting cold.' The smile on your face would change to a frown as you saw how white my hands had been

'C'mon. Let's go to somewhere warm.' With that familiar grin, you would take my hand and guide me away from the rain.

'I love you!' If only I can shout it out loud, conveying my love for you.

But, as I opened my eyes, you weren't there. It was just me, hand hanging to grab void with the rain that told me to be real. You were not there. You're never there.

Matsui Rena is a persona I really admire. She was. That admiration soon turned to be a feeling of love. I first knew her when I entered high school, she was the student council's president, and I was a freshman. Her speech was amazing, despite her looks, she could speak that confidently in front of hundreds of people. I admired her just that fast.

Our first encounter was when she was going home. It was raining, hard. I was running to the bus stop when I saw a silhouette dancing around in the rain. With the rain coat and an umbrella in hand, she danced weird moves while humming random song. She stopped when she saw me nailed to the ground, watching her from afar.

She then approached me, the way she ran was funny. She extended her hand, offering the umbrella she was holding at the moment. She shook her hand impatiently as I was too surprised to react. She smiled when I took the umbrella. Before I could mutter a thank you, she went running elsewhere. The fog was thick so I couldn't point out which way she went.

That was when my admiration change to the feeling of liking.

The bus stop near school was our meeting place. The place where I first met her. She's funny, sometime reserved and shy but mostly she laughed at whatever I did to entertain her. Even though I knew my jokes were mostly failed.

"Nee, Jurina, do you know the frog song?"

"The frog song? What kind of song named as in 'frog' song?"

I raised my eyebrow, it sounds stupid. I bet it was another random song she came up with.

"It is, it is. It was the song to call the rain. Do you want me to sing it for you?"

Seemed not budged with my sarcastic response, she continued talking about the song. She sometime stopped while smiling sheepishly.

"I don't want it to be raining. It's cold, you know. Better sing it when the sun is up."

She pouted. She loved rain. She loved it like it was the best things that could ever happen and this world. This side of her I found funny yet charming.

"But, I love rain. Don't you like it, Jurina?"

I like you who talking energetically every time you stated that you loved the smell of the grass after rain. Or how the frogs will sing when it was raining.

"I... Like it." If you were there with me.

The curved of her lips came back to life as she answered me, "Right? The rain is us, that's why."

She went back staring at the clear sky, while I kept staring at her. Her random statement, her meaningless words, are precious for me. The way she talked were funny. She would laugh and sneering when she was with me. If only I could convey this feeling. But I was scared. I was scared of losing you if I did.

I followed her staring at the sky. The light blue sky with white cotton painted the canvas.

She began humming the said frog song. Her voice was lovely. The sounds of love emitted from her, warmed every living being stayed beside her. It never fails to warm me up.

Soon enough, the water began to drop. Her smile got wider when she felt water touched her face. She got up from the chair and skipping around the street, it was a relief that the road was usually empty.

"Don't you want to join me?"

She offered her hand.

I got up from my chair.

"Of course."

One day, you came up to me. I was waiting for you at the bus stop. I readied myself to welcome you with a huge grin. But you didn't look so well. Your face was pale, hidden in a muffler. Your hair was messy, the same with your uniform. Your eyes were puffy and swollen. I lost my intention to smile. What came to me were worries.

"Rena, what happened?"

I hold her shaking hands. It was so cold. Had you been staying out in this winter?

Instead of answering to me, your eyes' send another pile of tears. You were crying. I'd never seen you cry.

I was at lost. I'd seen numbers of other girls crying in front of me, whether because I broke up with them, or they were just wailing. But I never expected her to cry. You're always smiling, and keep your unbreakable facade.

Told you to speak was useless. I knew that much, so I took you to my embrace. You stopped sobbing for a second, but started again as you wrapped your hand against me.

I never know what actually happened that day. You didn't tell me and I was waiting for you to tell me herself. But it never happened. Rumors said that you were dumped by your boyfriend. Another rumor said that one of your relative died. Other rumor was that you were bullied. I didn't know which one was true.

The next day, you came to the bus stop. The usual grin plastered on your face, like the other day incident wasn't real. You acted as how you always do. In my heart I was asking. Questions popped up in my mind. But I was scared. I was such a chicken. I didn't have the courage to confront you. It was only the simple 'what happened?' but I couldn't spill it out.

You seemed indifferent. And so I acted the same. The bus came not so long after a few words exchange. We rode it together. We were still chuckling for her previous frog song. I sang the song and she said I was off tune. But I kept singing and with that, she couldn't stop laughing. We didn't care about pairs of eyes that were watching us. Nor I care the grandma who let out a small smile while looking to our direction. It was what we always do. Our days. I didn't expect it to be the last time we sat in the same bus.

I never know how it turned out to be like this. I never think that I would spend my time sitting at the same bus stop while staring at the empty street. I was waiting. People told me to stop. They said you were gone. You won't come back. But I stayed. I knew you would one day come up with that grin plastered on your face, umbrella in hand. You would be all wet and breathless. You would offer the umbrella to me, like the first time we met.

'Jurina, you have to stop coming there.'

My sister's voice rang in my head.

The same sentence I heard from numerous people.

I never listen.

I'll soon graduate high school. I'll soon leave the city where I spent time with you. You had left, years ago.

You never came back to our meeting place, even though I waited there. Sitting while staring at the sky, wondering whether the rain would come or whether the frogs would come out and sing, along with you.

You were just disappeared. The town folks said you left your home. You left the city. I didn't know what forced you to go. You said nothing.

In my hand was the frog doll I knitted for you. You like it, don't you? I was going to give it to you at the day you came up to me, crying. I lost my chance. I won't ever know whether my feeling overlap with you.

I felt a drop of water caressed my palm. Was it rain? Or was it my tears?

The rain had come. Like the other days. The city of rain, you named our home. I got up and danced. The weird dance along with the random song you always hummed. I felt the water embraced me, wrapped me in a comfortable wetness.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw a light coming fast. I saw you running to me, with that bright smile and an umbrella hanging on your hand. Your eyes illuminated the road, like lamps. You disappeared, changed with our usual bus charged through me. The light is gone.