This happened because I'm convinced that Mac and Will are back together by the time we reach the deposition scenes. Convinced. All right, maybe not convinced, but really, really hoping that I'm right. I also wanted to see some Maggie/Will/Mac bonding, and I don't know where that came from, but I went with it. I'm still torn as to whether or not I want to continue or just leave it as a one shot. We'll see. Hopefully you like it!
The title is from one of my all time favorite songs by Josh Ritter. All time favorite.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
And I got a girl in the war, Paul, the only thing I know to do
Is turn up the music and pray that she makes it through
Because the keys to the kingdom got locked inside the kingdom
And the angels fly around in there, but we can't see them
And I got a girl in the war, Paul, I know that they can hear me yell
If they can't find a way to help her, they can go to Hell- Josh Ritter
When the door finally opens, and Mackenzie appears in the doorway, Will can tell that she's been put through the ringer.
"Maggie, I think you're up," Mac says with a sigh, and Maggie climbs to her feet. Will feels badly about putting Maggie through this too, after all she's been through this past year, and he's so frustrated that he feels like punching something, and instead clenches his hands into fists and tips his head back to rest against the wall.
Mac slides down the wall to sit on the floor next to him, taking one of his hands and unclenching it to slide her fingers in between his.
"We can go home," he offers. "We don't have to sit here." What he means is that she can go home, because he isn't going anywhere. Maggie is his responsibility. They're all his responsibility, and he won't leave until they can all leave. But Mac doesn't have to stay. She looks exhausted, but she shakes her head.
"Of course we have to sit here," she replies. "We'll wait for Maggie." And she rests her head down on his shoulder and he presses a kiss to the crown of her head.
"How'd it go?"
"Awful," she mutters, turning her face so she's looking up at him. "I wish I had never heard the word Genoa."
"You and me both," he says. Mac stretches her legs out in front of her and it takes him a minute to realize that she's crying. "Mac, please, don't." He wraps his arms around her and pulls her to him.
"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I'm just so tired."
"You need to go home," he insists.
"No, no, I'll be okay," Mac argues, trying to get a hold on her emotions.
"Mac," he tries again.
"I don't want to go home alone," she admits quietly. "I'm fine, Billy. Really. It's just been a long day." What it's been is a long year, he thinks, but doesn't say it out loud. It's been kind of a crappy year too, with the exception being he and Mackenzie finally working through their shit.
She moved into his apartment only two months after they had gotten back together, and it had been the best decision that either of them had made. They couldn't pick up where they had left off, but it was also ridiculous to pretend that they could start over again.
He doesn't say anything, he just tightens his hold on her shoulders as they wait for Maggie.
When Maggie comes out, she finds Mackenzie and Will, their hands tangled together, and their heads leaned in towards one another talking quietly. They both look up when she steps out.
"You didn't need to wait," she says flatly.
"Yes we did," he replies.
"I don't think they think I'm a very good character witness," she tells Will. "I think they think I'm too broken."
"They can go fuck themselves," he replies.
"Are we done?" Mac asks.
"For the time being, I think so," Will replies, and he stands, stretching, and reaches down to help Mackenzie to her feet. The three of them head towards the elevator in silence, but when they reach the ground floor and Maggie shrugs on her jacket to leave, Mackenzie reaches out and touches her arm.
"Why don't you come back to our place?" She offers. "None of us are fit for the company of others, and I don't think, even as tired as I am, I'll be able to sleep for awhile." She's worried about Maggie.
"I'm okay," Maggie says. "I can call Jim."
"You can," Will steps in. "But you won't. Come on, come back with us." He's not sure what's going on with Maggie and Jim. They're still working through their shit, and while she and her friend Lisa seemed to have worked out their problems for the most part, he heard Jim tell Mac that Lisa's out of town for the week.
Maggie's floundering, and Mac's not the only one who feels guilty about it.
"I don't," Maggie tries again, but Mac interrupts.
"I'm not taking no for an answer," she says gently. Lonny pulls up in the car, because on top of their incredibly shitty and stressful year, Will still has death threats hanging over his head, and he never worried about it before, but now that Mac is living in his apartment, and by his side most of the time, he's started to take it more seriously. He's not worried about himself, he's worried that she'll get hurt in the crossfire.
Mac lets Maggie slide in first, and then slides in next to her. Will climbs into the front seat, and tiredly tells Lonny that they're going home.
Maggie has only been in Will's apartment once, and that was for the party the night of Bin Laden. It's just as beautiful as she remembers, but she notices now Mackenzie's influence. It's less cold and modern, with fresh flowers on the table, and new pieces of art and photographs on the walls. An incredibly soft throw is tossed over the back of the couch, and Maggie resists the urge to cocoon herself in it when Mac goes to find her something to change into, and Will disappears in the kitchen to fix them something to eat.
Mac reappears first, holding out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and hoodie.
"I hope these fit," she says. "The guest room is right down that hall." She points and Maggie goes in the direction she pointed. She closes the door to the bedroom behind her, and stands for a minute in the middle of the room and wonders what she's doing here. Her parents, the Midwesterners that they were, were always in awe that she worked with the Will McAvoy. They'd shit themselves to know that she was standing in the middle of his guest bedroom changing into clothes that belong to his brilliant, beautiful, executive producer girlfriend.
Maggie didn't tell them much about her trip to Africa. She glossed over the details, and as far as they knew she was doing just fine. She claimed the haircut was because Lisa dared her to do it, and doesn't tell them that if she can help it, she'll never go back to blonde.
"Nothing but trouble."
It makes her shiver, and she peels off her dress and changes into the sweats. Mackenzie is normally smaller than her, but the clothes fit fine thanks to the fact that Maggie isn't sure she's had a full meal in almost a year. When she emerges, Will and Mac are sitting on the couch, a glass of wine in each of their hands, and Will is tucking a piece of Mac's hair behind her ear. Maggie feels uncomfortable for a moment, wishing that she would have been more adamant about them letting her go home.
"You hungry?" Mac asks when she spots her.
She starts to say, "not really," but it smells wonderful in the apartment, and she says so.
"It's Will," Mackenzie replies. "I can't cook to save my life."
"I'll go check on the food," Will says standing and walking into the kitchen.
"Would you like a glass of wine?" Mac asks. Maggie nods. "Listen, Maggie. I didn't...I should have talked to you. I know that Jim did. And Jim's great, but..." Mac pauses, tilting her head thoughtfully. "I don't know exactly what you're going through. Our stories are completely different, and they're each ours, and we can't, and shouldn't compare. But I do know what it's like to feel overwhelmed, and I've seen things and experienced things that I wish that I hadn't. I would give anything to not have."
"Mac," Maggie starts.
"I'm saying, what I'm trying to say, unsuccessfully I think, is that I don't know what you're going through, but if you need to talk, if you need to hear my stories, if you need to feel less alone? I'm here." Before Maggie can answer, Will appears to announce that food is ready and Mac straightens and smiles at him.
"I'm starved," she announces. "Come on, Maggie, let's get something to eat."
After Maggie picks at her food, and they eat in relative silence, Mac offers the use of the spare bedroom.
"It's pretty comfortable," she says. "Ask Will. He has to sleep in there from time to time." And she gives Will a sideways grin, which he responds to with a shake of his head.
"It is comfortable," he confirms and then presses a kiss to Mac's temple as he stands and gathers their plates.
"I should go home," Maggie tries, but she doesn't really want to go home. It's been nice, being here with Will and Mackenzie. Neither one forced her to talk, and when they lapsed into comfortable silences, it wasn't awkward like it was sometimes with Lisa and even Jim. She liked their company, and for the first time in such a long time she didn't feel like she was going to start crying at any moment.
"Stay, please. Will won't make breakfast for just me, but I bet I can convince him to make his world famous pancakes if you stay," Mac smiles, and Maggie is nodding before she even knows what she's doing.
"I'll clean up," Will offers. "You can show Maggie where everything is." Mac leans over and gives him a soft kiss, and Maggie is amazed by how affectionate they are with each other. At work they are nothing but professional, with only minimal physical contact. Maggie's not used to seeing this side of them.
"You know where the bedroom is," Mackenzie says. "The bathroom is right through here. There are clean towels and a spare toothbrush right under here."
"Thank you for letting me stay," Maggie tells her.
"Anytime," Mac puts a hand on Maggie's arm and gives it a small squeeze. "I mean that, Maggie, anytime." She leaves then, closing the door behind her and leaving Maggie alone.
She calls Jim to let him know that she's safe and that she's at Will and Mac's. She has several missed calls from him, and she figures that he's probably freaking out.
"I'm at Will and Mac's," she says when he answers.
"What?"
"They invited me to stay. Actually it wasn't really an invitation. I mean, I don't think I had much of a choice."
"I can come get you?"
"No," she says quickly. "I'm going to bed. It's been…nice, actually. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you that I was fine." It's amazing, but for the first time in a long time, she actually is fine. Or not fine, but as close to it as she's been in a long time. She actually ate some of Will's dinner, and she appreciated that Will and Mac didn't push her into conversation. They were content eating in silence, with only the occasional topic of conversation. And it wasn't awkward. It was nice.
Jim tries again, but Maggie is able to hold him off and she hangs up and slides into the bed and sinks down into the comfortable mattress. Of course Mac and Will's extra bed is more comfortable than own bed. It's incredible, really, and she lets out a sigh as she curls under the covers, and while she still doesn't sleep well, she sleeps better than she has in months.
Mac curls up next to Will, his hand wrapped around hers lying on his chest.
"I feel terrible," Mac murmurs.
"I know."
"Today was awful," she adds, and he brushes a kiss to the top of her hairline. "I mean, maybe one of the most awful days of my life."
"Tomorrow probably won't be much better," Will says, ever the optimist, and she pinches him with her free hand.
"I'm glad Maggie stayed here tonight."
"You didn't give her much of a choice," Will points out.
"She's so…" Mac searches for the right word and comes up empty. Broken was the word she was going to use, but Mac feels bad saying it out loud. "Do you think they'll still use her as a character witness?"
"They have to," Will replies. "And for our sake, she has to do well."
"I hate that there's so much pressure on her," Mac sighs. "This is the last thing that she needs."
"You can't help it," he says. "A thousand things could have gone a different way, and we wouldn't be where we are right now. But they didn't. And here we are. And Maggie will be okay. Eventually. Someday. Hopefully. Maybe."
"You're in rare form tonight, Mr. Doom and Gloom," Mackenzie tells him. He tightens the arm that's wrapped around her and sighs.
"Days like today tend to bring out the cynic in me," Will replies. "Hell, days like today tend to bring out the cynic in most people." Even Mac has been down lately, and Will hates it. Hope springs eternal in Mackenzie, but since this stuff with Genoa and with Maggie, her spirits have been dampened, and it makes Will want to hurt someone, blame someone, but he's not sure who to blame.
Jerry Dantana is one candidate. Rebecca Halliday is another, although that's not quite fair because she's trying to get them out of the mess, and it's not her fault that they're in the mess in the first place. Jerry wins then. Will's good at projecting blame and anger onto undeserving recipients, but Jerry completely deserves it. Will never liked him in the first place, and someone should pay for making Mac sad.
"Tomorrow will be better. It has to be," Mackenzie declares and Will drops a kiss into her hair. "Think we can make banana walnut pancakes tomorrow? That would be a good start." Mac tilts her head to look up at him, her lovely mouth forming a small pout and it has the exact effect she wants it to.
"We?" He questions, and she grins.
"Well, you. When I said we, what I really meant was do you think you can make banana walnut pancakes tomorrow morning. Obviously."
"Obviously." He hopes she's right. He hopes that tomorrow is better. And the day after that is even better, and they can forget about Genoa and Maggie can maybe get a normal haircut, though he's pretty sure Maggie will never be a blonde again, and he's pretty sure he doesn't blame her.
Tomorrow will be better, Mac's right, it just has to be. He can't handle much more, and Mackenzie can't handle much more, and Maggie really can't handle much more, and fuck it all. Fuck Jerry Dantana, and fuck Genoa, and fuck Uganda.
He tightens his hold on Mac, and is grateful for that; that she's in his bed, in his arms, and they've managed to get through their bullshit, and that at the very least after this ultra shitty day, he got to come home with Mackenzie.
It's not much, but it's something, and he'll take it.