I'm running on one juicebox and a handful of pretzels, I have finals next week, and I needed to stress write something.
She stabilizes Nott without much difficulty, it's just a stab wound, one to the stomach but it's an easy fix.
"There we go, Nott, good as new." She helps Nott to her feet, giving her a little nudge toward Caleb.
"Thank you, Jester," Nott says, grabbing one of her hands and squeezing before running off.
Jester watches her go, sees her fuss over Caleb, and smiles. She opens the hand Nott had taken, unsurprised at the blood staining her skin, but smiles as she sees a small button sitting at the center of her palm. It was probably really nice before Nott put it in her hand, now it's covered in blood and gory bits. She does her best to clean it off but only succeeds in smudging the blood around. Her hands are practically painted with the stuff, and there are splatters of red all up and down her arms, staining her dress as well.
Some of her hair falls in her face and she tries to blow it out of the way. Her hair is one of the few parts of her not covered in red, and she'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible.
A hand comes into her field of vision, tucking the piece of hair behind her ear.
"Oh, hey, Beau, thanks. Do you need healing too?"
"Nah, well, actually, I wouldn't mind some, I took a pretty big hit back there." She moves aside her cloak to reveal a massive expanse of bruised skin spanning from her waistband and up to her ribs. "Oh, shit, I didn't think it was that bad."
"It's a wonder you're moving," Jester says, already prepping a spell. "You're really amazing, Beau, does it hurt?"
Beau ends up laying down in the grass when Jester is done, one arm thrown over her face while the other is sprawled out. The spell didn't do much, just enough to fix the internal damage, the skin is still pretty heavily bruised.
It's all Jester can do at the moment though. Fjord has talked to her about conserving her spells so she's been trying to save one or two just in case something happens. She's the cleric after all, she's got to have something set aside in case someone eats the dirt in the middle of a fight.
She'll do more for Beau when they're back at the inn and clearly out of danger.
When everyone's standing, they start making their way back. The blood on Jester's hands has dried by this point, and her focus is on picking it off her skin. It's under her nails too, which is just a hassle. There's probably a cantrip or something she can use to get the blood out of her clothes. She really likes this dress, it would be a shame to trash it. It's not a big deal when it's dirt, or a tear, she can fix those.
But blood is harder to get out.
"Jester, here."
Molly's coming up behind her, a canteen in one hand and a rag in the other.
"Oh, thank you, Molly, it's fine though, I can-"
"We're close, being thirsty isn't gonna' kill me."
Jester doesn't get any more chance to protest because Molly's already sprinkling water on the rag. The two of them stop walking and Molly helps her clean the blood from her hands. The rag is absolutely ruined but Molly still has a few sips left in his canteen.
"Thank you, Molly, it feels much better now."
Molly grins as he wrings out the rag, pink water dripping into the dirt. They start walking, a little faster than usual to catch up with the others, and Jester watches Molly stow the damp rag in his pack. She doesn't say anything about it though.
"Not a problem. Shame about your dress though, if you want, I can teach you a trick for getting rid of blood stains when we get back."
It takes a moment to click but Jester gets it after a moment. Of course Molly would know how to get rid of bloodstains, he'd have to deal with lots of them.
"That would be very nice. I have to finish healing Beau and Caleb when we get back, then I'll meet you…"
"In my room, Fjord mentioned he was going to stay downstairs and people watch."
When they arrive at the inn, Nott opts to sit with Fjord while Caleb goes right upstairs to sleep. Jester catches him in the doorway, tapping his shoulder and giving him a smile. She receives a tired thank you in return, and she responds in kind. She's picked up a little Zemnian just by listening to him, nowhere near enough to be fluent, but it makes Caleb smile.
Beau's in their room, sprawled out on her back. She looks up when Jester enters and waves her hello. Her cloak is off, allowing Jester to see the still bruised skin of Beau's torso.
Jester goes to her own side of the room and assesses her own damage. Her sleeves are absolutely stained, as is the skirt of her dress. There still some blood on her boots and her leathers but she knows enough to handle that on her own. Her cape is untouched, which is nice, and she takes it off, laying on her bed. She removes her clothing piece by piece until she's in her shift, which is also unstained, and folds her dress over her arm.
"Is your side still hurting?" Jester asks, sitting on the edge of Beau's bed.
"Yeah, I can sleep it off though, if-"
"No, no, I got it. That's my job after all."
Beau gives a quiet, kind of huffy, laugh for about a split second before wincing. Jester, with the last bit of magic she has for the day, takes care of Beau's injury with a smile on her face.
"Thanks, Jester. You goin' to bed?"
"Not yet, I'm going to go hang with Molly for a little. He's going to show me how to get rid of blood stains." She holds up her dress and Beau just nods.
"Okay, uh, have fun, I guess."
Molly's waiting in his room, sitting on the floor with his coat in his lap, surrounded by a small water basin, a bottle of something awful smelling, a small cloth pouch, and some rags.
"Ah, have a seat, have a seat. I already got everything from the kitchen."
"The kitchen?"
Jester sits down across from him, arranging her dress on the floor in front of her. She'd rather keep it in her lap but some of the stains are still wet and she doesn't want to ruin her shift.
"Vinegar and salt, my dear, and ice to make the water cold. Learned this pretty early on, Gustav showed me."
He walks her through the steps and they make simple conversation as they work out the blood stains.
She's grateful that Molly's teaching her this, but maybe if she was a better cleric, her friends wouldn't get hurt enough to bleed so much. Then, she wouldn't even need to do this. There has to be some kind of spell, "invulnerability", "untouchable", "keep my dumb friends safe so they don't die", something like that.
"Something on your mind?"
Molly's voice breaks through her thoughts and she realizes she's dabbing a little too violently at a spot of blood.
"No, just tired, I'm fine, Molly."
Shit. Fuck. Gods fucking damn it.
Caleb's on the ground, Nott standing in front of him but wholly occupied with the ogre in front of her. Molly's with her, but Jester can see him stumbling. Yasha's on her own with the biggest ogre of the two, about to finish it off. But Beau's down, and Fjord is too.
Who does she heal first?
Beau can usually last a while, she's damn hard to hit. Fjord doesn't have to worry about getting close range to fight, so he can stay back a little and stay safe. Caleb might drop as soon as she heals him but his spells are powerful.
What is she supposed to do?
Nott can keep Caleb safe, right? Plus she has Molly helping her. Caleb should be fine for a little while longer. Yasha's close to Fjord, and Beau's been down the longest.
Jester darts between the two ogres, they're too preoccupied to try and attack her, and her leg is screaming at her as she nearly eats the dirt before she even makes it to Beau. She pours out what healing she can spare and nearly chokes when the other woman's eyes don't open immediately.
Jester turns around to see Nott pouring a potion into Caleb's mouth as Molly delivers a killing blow to their ogre. She sees Yasha's ogre already on the ground, and Yasha herself pressing her hand to Fjord's chest. A moment later, Yasha is helping him stand up.
Beau's hand falls onto Jester's shoulder, leaning heavily against her. Jester nearly stumbles, her leg trembling. It's hard enough managing her own weight but she loops an arm around Beau's waist anyway.
"Go team," Beau says with a weak cheer. Without thinking, Jester heals her more, taking care of the gash on her hip, and her mangled hand.
Molly sheathes his swords. Nott helps Caleb to his feet. Fjord thanks Yasha. Beau squeezes Jester's shoulder.
Gods fucking damn it.
They make their way out of the cave, Jester trying to heal everyone as much as possible while still making sure she has a reserve. They all thank her, Nott even gives her another button when Jester notices the injuries on her arm.
Half way through, Molly slings one of his arms around her shoulders.
"No bloodstains this time," he says. "I'd consider that a win."
Jester smiles, and waits to drop it until Molly moves to walk with Yasha.
She really messed this one up. She's the reason Fjord dropped. They'd both taken a pretty bad hit at the start, and she decided to attack the ogre instead of heal Fjord. Then, she was so preoccupied with making sure she was within spell distance of Caleb, that she was too far away from Beau. When Yasha engaged one of the ogres, Jester healed Fjord a little, as much as she dared. She'd gotten her legs swept out from under her, and she chose to retaliate. Then Caleb hit the ground.
She wrings her tail in frustration, wincing as she twists a little too told her to prioritize herself, but what good is she if everyone goes unconscious? They could die, there are six other people she has to keep track of.
She nearly trips as Frumpkin bumps himself into her banged up leg, meowing at her. She looks around for Caleb, finding him toward the front of the group for once, he's talking to Fjord.
"Hello, kitty." She tries taking a step but Frumpkin moves right in front of her. "Well, if you insist."
She scoops him up, pressing kisses all over his head while picking out clumps of dirt from his fur. It gives her something to focus on.
The walk back is painful, and she's pretty sure that there's a sizeable amount of blood sloshing around in her boot.
They're in town now, she should be fine. She spares one hand from Frumpkin to touch her leg, healing as she's mid step so the bone sets before she puts her foot down.
That's better.
Jester sniffles a little, keeping her journal away from her face lest she smudge the drawings with her tears.
"And anyway," she continues, "I don't know if I'm even any good at being the cleric. I like fighting, that's way more fun, but we already have fighters. Like, Beau is always super cool, she wall jumped out of a hole that one time. Then, uh, Caleb is always doing cool magic stuff, and Fjord and Molly have swords. Even Nott has a weapon, and Yasha can definitely take care of the fighting stuff, I know she can. But I'm the cleric , I have to save my spells, and keep them all alive. And I don't mind that but, you know, Yasha can heal, and both Fjord and Caleb know magic so maybe they could learn healing stuff too. And they can always buy potions. I have to be a good cleric, because what if they decide they can do all that stuff without me? They could leave-"
She chokes a little, wringing her tail in her hands to avoid picking at her nails. There's a warm breeze that swirls through the room, even though the window is closed, turning a new page in her sketchbook. Jester dries her eyes and fixes one of her hands in a grip on the Traveler's symbol.
"Okay," she whispers. She pulls her notebook closer and starts drawing on the blank page.
Then she hears the door creak.
She slams the notebook shut and hurries to her feet, turning around and clasping her hands behind her back. She keeps back a grimace as she moves so quickly. Her leg hasn't quite been the same since the ogre fight. If she had to wager, she'd say it's because she walked on it for about six hours before fixing it.
But that's irrelevant.
Caleb stands in the doorway, a strange combination of worry and confusion on his face, like he's torn between intervening and minding his own business. Nott isn't with him, not that Jester can see.
"Oh, Caleb, hi, is there something you needed?"
"Is...everything okay?" he asks, taking a step to put him fully in the room.
"Yeah, it's fine, I was just talking to the Traveler, Beau thinks it's weird so I do it when she's not here. I did some more drawings, do you want to see them?"
"Uh, sure, I guess, why not?"
Caleb takes a few steps closer and Jester meets him halfway. She hadn't had the heart to draw what she normally does. Instead there are scenes from the day, a few sketches of Molly's tattoos, and half finished faces from people passing by outside.
She points each one out, keeping the tremors out of her voice. She thinks she's doing a good job, but Caleb is only staring right at her.
"You know, it's rude to stare like that," she says.
"Are you all right?" Caleb asks instead.
Jester opens her mouth to assure him, tell him she's doing perfect because why wouldn't she? But her lips tremble and she feels her eyes begin to tear up. She bites her lip, nearly drawing blood as she lets her notebook fall to the floor in favor of wringing her tail once more.
"I'm a good cleric, right?" she asks at last.
Caleb blinks once, twice, then grabs her by her arm and starts walking. She's not resisting so he doesn't have an issue, but she certainly wasn't expecting this reaction.
They come to a stop outside Fjord and Molly's room and Caleb throws the door open without knocking. Molly's the only one inside, Fjord went out with Beau to do something or other.
"Fix this," Caleb says, letting go of Jester's arm to gesture at her instead.
Molly's on the bed, sewing a tear in his coat and he looks at them, almost affronted before understanding dawns on him.
"Right then, what seems to be the problem?" He sets aside the coat and needle, turning to face Jester and Caleb, his attention wholly on the former.
"She's crying, I don't think I'm the best for comforting words," Caleb says. He takes Jester's arms again and pulls her toward the bed, making her sit down before moving to the doorway. He doesn't leave, rather, he crouches down and stays like that a moment.
Jester drags her gaze to Molly, who's waiting patiently for her to speak it seems.
"It's not even that big of deal," she says, making to get up. Before she can stand, however, Frumpkin leaps up into her lap. Caleb is standing, arms folded over his chest as he leans against the now closed door.
"Well, if it made you upset, I think it's a pretty big deal. You don't usually get bogged down, did something happen? Did Beau say something stupid?"
"What- No, Beau didn't do anything."
"Then?"
Jester keeps her mouth shut. If she knew Caleb was going to drag her to Molly for 'Tealeaf Therapy' she wouldn't have said anything in the first place. They haven't gotten rid of her yet, so she must be doing fine for now. It's not worth bringing up anyway. If they know she's having doubts, will that speed things up?
"She asked me if I thought she was a good cleric."
"Well, we're all alive, aren't we? I should think that makes you a damn good cleric, especially given all the shit we get into."
Frumpkin butts his head up under her chin and purrs.
"Thank you, Molly, but I'm still pretty shit at it," Jester says. "Everybody else at least kinda knows what they're doing, I don't. I've never had to worry about anyone other than myself, and now I have to keep you guys alive. I'm the cleric, that's my job. What am I going to do if I can't do that?"
"So Beau did say something stupid," Molly says with a small smile on his face.
"We're all stumbling," Caleb says, still leaning against the door. "I don't know what I'm doing half the time, I would have died ten times over if you weren't with me."
Jester tries to protest but Molly speaks up.
"Did you think we'd leave you behind if you weren't useful?"
She's going to cry again, she knows she is. Molly needs to stop talking right now. She doesn't want to cry in front of them. She hunches over a little, enough to hide her face in Frumpkin's fur.
"Maybe. I'm not the only one who can heal." Her words are shaky, she's choking up a bit and she can't stop herself. "Other people know magic, and they're a lot better at it than I am."
There's a dip in the bed and she knows that Caleb has joined her and Molly. Frumpkin is still in her arms though, and it doesn't seem like he has any intention of moving.
"Well," Molly says, "let's run down the list shall we? Yasha's healing is minor, and she can't do that all the time, so there's that option gone. Fjord...doesn't know any healing spells, from what we've discussed. I don't think he even can, to be honest. So, no. Caleb?"
"I can't either, it's not something I can do."
Molly's hand comes to rest on her head, between her horns, and he tussles her hair a little. His hand drops to the juncture of her neck and shoulder where he rubs circles into her skin.
"And even if there was someone else," he says, "we're not going to leave you all on your lonesome. We like you for other things about you, not just because you can heal. That's a nice bonus, sure, but there's no doubt. I do wish you'd brought this up sooner though, it's not good to keep bad things bottled up for so long."
"I thought if I brought it up that…"
"We'd, what? Think it was stupid? Leave you immediately?"
"Yes."
She doesn't want to be alone again, she really doesn't.
Frumpkin butts against her chin again, aggressively forcing her to look up.
"We're not going to leave you, Jester," Caleb says.
"You're kinda the glue keeping this whole mess together. We all like you too much to get rid of you."
No she's not. Is she? She's never had friends before, she's not sure how anyone of this is supposed to work. Exchange has always been the name of the game, it's what she's known since she was little. If she wants to get anywhere, she has to have something that other people want, that they need. So that's what this turned into, healing for companionship.
If she can't keep up her end of the deal, then they're not obligated to keep up theirs. She knows she's a lot sometimes. She knows that she's loud, and she gets into trouble, and she misses things sometimes. But what she provides outweighs that. People can put up with annoying if they benefit from it.
And now she's just supposed to believe that these people actually like her? They haven't even been together all that long.
Then again, they've had some fun. They haven't tried to put her on any kind of lockdowns. They made a fuss about the pamphlets but nobody stopped her. Caleb didn't have to buy her pastries nor did he have to get along with her after their fight, but he did. Beau lets her ramble about things she knows other people find nonsensical. Nott has become her partner in crime. Yasha even let Jester hug her. Molly's advice is weird, but in a good way, and it's nice to be able to talk in Infernal again.
And Fjord...he's stuck by her the longest.
"Fjord and Beauregard should be back by now," Caleb says, "and Nott's downstairs."
With that, Frumpkin leaps out of her lap and races to the door, only to find it closed. He looks to Caleb and meows, obviously annoyed.
Jester can't help the small laugh that filters through the tears. Molly joins in full force as Caleb stumbles to his feet to open the door.
"Admittedly," he says, "I didn't think quite that far ahead."
"Wait, why-"
"It's Jester time, despite it being…"
"A quarter past midnight," Caleb fills in.
"And besides, we can sit here and talk your ears off, but it'd do you good to hear it from everyone else as well. Apparently, I'm a liar and Caleb doesn't tell the truth, so maybe there are people better suited."
Molly takes his hand away from her neck and she sniffles.
"I don't want them seeing me like this," Jester whispers.
"Not a problem."
Molly hands her a piece of cloth and she's half way through drying her eyes when Nott bursts into the room, crossbow at the ready.
"What happened? Frumpkin came running. Is anyone hurt- Which one of you made Jester cry?"
"Nothing like that, Nott," Caleb says, putting his hands up. Nott still has her crossbow ready to fire.
"Really, it's fine Nott, they didn't- they were trying to make me feel better."
"Oh,well, okay then." Nott stows her crossbow at her side than clambers up to sit in the spot Caleb was in. She takes Jester's hand and squeezes. "What happened then? And why didn't you come straight to me? I was just downstairs!"
"I didn't plan on being upset tonight, Nott, it just happened."
Nott nods for a few moments before patting Jester's hand.
"I have just the thing." She pulls her flask from where it's affixed at her side and unscrews the top before handing it over. "I just refilled it."
"Hey! Caleb! Call off your cat, he's- All right, which one a' you fucks made Jester cry?"
Beau looks more than a little irritated, and Fjord looks frazzled. Beau steps into the room first, much in the same fashion that Nott had.
"Beau, I don't think that's what-" Fjord puts his hand on her shoulder but she shakes it off.
"No, not cool. I know I'm an ass but at least I don't-"
"It's fine, Beau," Jester cuts in, "really."
Molly stands up and claps his hands.
"We're going to talk about it, all of us, as a group. Get comfortable."
"What's this about?" Fjord asks. "Jester, you all right?"
Jester nods, finally accepting Nott's flask and taking a sip. She's not fond of alcohol, but she doesn't want to refuse Nott.
With Molly's seat now vacated, Beau takes it for herself. Caleb and Fjord sit at the foot of the bed and Molly leans against the wall. Frumpkin resettles himself in Jester's lap, purring lightly.
She wants to cry all over again, but for a different reason this time. She just sniffles and pets Frumpkin with her free hand. Everyone is talking, not over each other, but talking all the same, and it's a lot. But she listens as best she can.
And when she does start crying again, her friends are with her.
I hope you guys liked this, I've had the concept for a while now but I never got around to writing it. Let me know what you think!