Annie Thelen. Fifteen years old. Happy seemingly all the time and..... used to always having her way........

This is the profile of a girl that dropped into our laps I guess you could say. Just when things seemingly where getting back in order we get this little surprise one fateful night. At first, I wasn't too sure how I liked the idea of her staying, but when I found out Fi would be leaving, that kinda crossed the line.

I'll admit that I didn't know why Fiona was leaving, just that I didn't like it any. She was one of my best friends. Maybe not the best of them, but one of them.

I still had Daria, my best friend and soul mate, but, she wouldn't be on the road. Even though she wanted to be. So, that meant that it just be me, Jack, and Annie. Sometimes Clu would come, whenever he could break away from school.

Annie at first wasn't so bad what I had seen of her. A little dependent, but other than that, a seemingly good kid. I thought that maybe would could bond a little, since really the whole reason she was here was the music, but we had different outlooks on things.

I was in it for the heart and soul, she was in it for the fame and glory. Which really brought me to now. A discussion I was having with Daria, while we were making a pit stop home.

" I just don't get her," I said.

" I've tried, but Carey, I just can't bring myself to liking her. I mean, at fist she seemed okay, but then she started hitting on Clu and with the whole Doppelganger thing, I was right there, and I knew exactly what the answers were, but it seemed she deliberately passed me by. I know that sounds really spiteful, and I hate to seem that way, but that's just the way I see it." Daria said.

" She seems to maybe have a, uh, I guess you would say, a fancy for me,"

" A fancy?"

" That's the best word I can think of. Maybe its the man boy thing," I said with a laugh.

" Oh yeah, the whole manly but with that boyish charm thing?" Daria said and then took a sip of the hot China black tea she had her hand curled around. She had been acting weird.

I don't remember being like that when I was sixteen. But for someone her age, she had seen a lot and had every right to seem a little off.

After the famous romp though the woods in New Jersey that led to her getting lost in the woods, slipping and hitting her head, and her claiming to see the renowned Jersey Devil. Not to mention, the other beyond the norm stuff she had encountered all of her life.

She had also tried to kill herself about two weeks before going on the tour a little over a year and a half ago. No one knew but me. Just like no one else knew of that kiss we had shared only a few weeks prior to this meeting. And I am hoping that it stays that way. I would let nothing get out that would hurt my little brother, and maybe end the relationship. It was a spur of the moment thing and no one had to know but the ones who experienced it.

My thought line was soon broken by Jack and little Miss Thelen entering the room. Jack was smiling at her. I knew that smile and exactly what was going through that head of his.

" Hey Carey," Annie said with a cutesy smile.

" Why, hello there Annie," Daria said in a fake good nature way, " How are you?"

" I'm fine thanks," Annie replied ,taking it to heart.

" I heard you got to record some demos," Daria said

" well, yeah, had a bit of an, erm, problem," Annie said cutting her eyes my way.

I knew something weird had happened to that guitarist. That's why I had told her not to record the vocals without us. But she for some reason did anyway.

But it was all okay. I wish it were true for all things. For me, things seemed to be feeling really empty as of late. I was starting to write songs more though, the only good thing out of it. Nothing bad had happen, not at all. Things were just, well, they had a weird feeling. It scared me some.

" Long distant stare," Jack said waving his hand in front of my face.

" What?"

" You, like, so totally spaced," Daria said.

" Sorry, I'm just,... thinking" I replied. It wasn't a lie, so I was okay.

" You, thinking? Nah," Daria said, " Which reminds me, remember Jack when you pushed me and Fi down the stairs in a cardboard box. And that caused her to get a bloody nose and a broken hand only at the age of three? Yeah, I'm still not over that,"

" That was like twelve years ago Dar, I can't believe your bringing that up now......" Jack and her continued to reminiscence as I slipped out to my own world of remembrance as I also watched both of the blond girls and the blue eye wonder boy smiled and conversed.

I thought of the day before I went of to Bolder for college. It was just me and Daria that day, being as the tour was in full swing. She wanted pictures simply, as she put it, she didn't have enough of me. So she got out her thirty-five millimeter cameras and commenced to have me do bizarre things and snapping away. The weirdest I have to say is when she made me get into the bathtub full of water and fully clothed, but the picture turned out great. She has one in color and black and white. That was one of those days I hope to remember always.

Like the day that we took Fi to the airport. There were a lot of tears, but I held mine back. I never like for people to see me cry . I told her good-bye and promised to write every week, which I have. But when I got home, I went in my room and just let it go. I don't know why I did so hard for so long, but once I started, I didn't feel as if I could stop.

I didn't think her going would effect me so much. But she was something that was good in my life. It felt weird to have it gone.

I suddenly got up and went outside, grabbing my guitar that rested just on the inside of the door.

"Carey?" Daria called after me. I ignored it. My mind was some place else.

" I'll go see what's up," Annie said.

No what she really wanted to do was have some alone time with me. I didn't want anything like that with this girl. It was Jack that had something for her. I don't know what but something.

" Hey Care Bear," Annie said to me, thinking it was cool cuz that was my secret childhood nickname that only my girls used. She wasn't one of my girls. Not as of yet. " What's up Carey?"

" I'm fine Annie. Just have this idea in my head and I'm just looking for some place quite to form it out,"

" Oh, well, I won't stop you. Good luck," She chirped as she turned on her heals and went inside.

And I knew since there would be no prying information to get, Daria would go sit under the window and listen to me. Just to see what she could find out in a round about way. But I really didn't care. I just thought about that song that was Fiona's favorite and how the words went so well with what was going on now.

When I'm lonely, I lie awake at night. And I wish you were here. I miss you. Can you tell me, is there something more to believe in? Or is this all there is?

Sometimes, I know I ask myself similar questions to that.

Last night I had a dream you came into my room, you took me in your arms. Whispering and kissing me and telling me to still believe. (Within the darken city against which we set our darkest of selves.) Until I felt safe and warm, I fell asleep in your arms. And when I awoke, I cried again, for you were gone. Can you hear me?

I wondered if she could hear me. Silly I know. I don't know why I felt this way. I just kept playing. Trying to get lost once more within the music. And I was doing it quite well, until the turning of the door knob once again disturbed my thoughts.

I looked up to see my best friend yet again. Her jaw dropped right open and her eye staring at me.

" Oh my god," she said.

" What?" I questioned.

" You're in love with her! You're in love with Fiona!" she exclaimed, " It all makes since now, the way you've been being overly nice and yet distance and making sure that we knew you were 'fine'. The kiss. That wasn't me you were thinking about," she paused, " It was Fi,"

" Daria, you can't say anything, please," I begged.

" I won't. But my goodness boy, you better or the anticipation will kill me,"

Yeah, easier said than done, Dar.