I know it's not logical, but there's part of me that wishes Kari had ended up with Davis instead of TK.

After all, I know how to control Davis. He always looked up to me, idolized me even. It started when he joined the under-7s Odaiba soccer team. At that age, it's all most kids can do not to fall down while running nowhere near the ball, so the little kids naturally looked up to us older kids, the under-10s, who had already acquired some more advanced ball handling skills. We had practice right after them, and a bunch of the little kids would stick around to watch the "big kids" play. It was still a co-ed team at that point, and Sora and I had both ended up on the same team. I'm not saying we were the best in the whole league, but… alright, that is what I'm saying. I know it shouldn't matter at that age, winning and losing, but hey. I'm a Digidestined. Winning comes naturally to me.

After a particularly awesome practice, I stuck around waiting for my mom to pick me up. Sora's mom had already taken her home. I was practicing heading the ball, just bouncing it on my forehead like the soccer superstar I knew I was, and this little – how do I even describe him? – this little twerp comes after the ball as I'm bouncing it. He tried to head the ball, but he was so much shorter than I was that he ended up just headbutting me in the solar plexus and knocking me down.

In retrospect, it's appropriate that his Digimon is also a little twerp with a bad habit of headbutting people at inappropriate times.

Anyway, I'm furious, because not only has he messed up my concentration with the ball, but now I've had the wind knocked out of me and, to make it all worse, when I fell I broke my goggles. This six year old with the wild maroon hair that's stuck out in a thousand different directions is now standing over me and talking a hundred miles an hour.

"HimynameisDavisI'montheunderseventeamI'mreallysor ryforknockingyoudownbutwhatyouweredoingwithyourhea dwasreallycoolandIwantedtotryittoobutnoonewillshow mebecausetheysayI'mtooyoungtolearnhowtoheadasoccer ballyetdoyouneedhelp?"

I would have glared, but I think I was just in dumb shock that a kid so little could have such a big mouth. He must have picked up on it, too, a skill that apparently left him immediately afterwards.

"Hi. I'm Davis. I'm on the under-7s team. I'm really sorry for knocking you down. No one will teach me how to do the thing with my head because I'm too young or whatever. Do you need help getting up?"

I got up and dusted myself off. "I'm Tai, and no thanks, I'm good. Listen, I didn't even learn to do this until about 6 months ago. Why don't you work on more simple stuff first?"

The little wrecking ball now known as Davis looked down at his feet like I had just crushed all his hopes and dreams. "But… but I want to do cool stuff. Not the boring kicking stuff back and forth."

I leaned down so he and I were at eye level. "Why don't you show me what you can do while I'm waiting for my mom to pick me up?"

He looked up at me and nodded in a mixture of awe and joy usually reserved for Christmas and petting zoos. "Okay!"

We ended up kicking the ball around for only about 15 minutes, and even I could see that the kid wasn't awful, especially for a six year old. He could run without losing the ball (usually) and had figured out how to line up for simple shots on the goal. Mostly, though, we just passed the ball back and forth, dribbling up and down the sidelines. I found out he had a sister named Jun who made him absolutely crazy, that he loved popsicles and ice cream and hated pickles, and that his dreams when he grew up included having seventeen children and owning his own noodle cart. I told him that I had a sister named Kari who was absolutely the prettiest girl ever but who totally had cooties, that I liked soy sauce on my eggs, and that I wanted to grow up and be an ambassador to a far-off place.

Basically, since that day, I haven't been able to get rid of Davis. He followed me in soccer, eventually making the same club as me (though we never ended up being on the same team). He followed me in school, even when some of the others left for private high schools. And he followed me as the leader of the Digidestined. He looks up to me as part mentor, part idol, and part big brother.

TK, on the other hand, already had a big brother. Even though Matt wasn't always perfect at the brother stuff, no one could doubt that he really cared for TK and looked out for him. When TK was little, on our first trip to the Digital World, that was kind of all Matt did. TK No matter what we did, it was always obvious to the rest of us that Matt's first priority was always going to be TK, even when the rest of us were in danger too. In fact, it even started to make TK crazy by the end of our first trip, which was what caused Matt to snap and start fighting against us instead of with us.

I guess the thing about TK is that in my head, he is always going to be that little kid from our first trip into the Digital World. I'm not trying to minimize what he did for us during that trip. After all, he had to go through some tough stuff. He lost Patomon to Devimon, got abandoned by everyone else while I was off in the Real World, took on Puppetmon by himself, and ended up defeating Piedmon alone. I mean, this is a tough kid. And he took care of Kari when she was sick, for which I will forever be grateful. But what I remember best is the little kid. The little kid who could barely make it through half an hour without crying at least once, who wanted jelly beans on his eggs, who believed absolutely in his friends but also still believed in the tooth fairy.

Then TK went and grew up. I don't know what happened to him between leaving Odaiba and coming back, but whatever it was, someone should bottle it and sell it. In middle school, he was so much more confident than he'd been as a kid. He was thoughtful, never rushing into plans the way that Davis and Yolei wanted to, and even though Davis was the leader of their group, rarely would the group go anywhere or do anything that TK didn't agree with. He saved Kari twice – once when he went after her in the city controlled by Andromon, and the other time by jumping head-first into the Dark Ocean. (I suppose I have to give credit to Davis for the first one too. Kari wouldn't tell me much about what went on, though.)

I've never known TK outside the context of being Digidestined, so that's still how I think of him. It's really hard for me to think of him as anything other than "the little Digidestined kid who isn't Kari" or as Matt's little brother.

This TK I know now, the lover instead of the fighter? He's a total mystery to me.

Once the kids got back from saving the Digital World… and the Real World… again, it seemed like those three were going to get stuck in a particularly epic love triangle. Davis was still pining over Kari, Kari was still pretending not to notice, and TK was still trying to pretend it didn't bother him. But before long, it just… stopped. TK and Kari announced to the whole group that they were dating, and Davis didn't seem at all bothered. In fact, he's been dating someone now for several months, and (if Mimi and Yolei are to be believed) things are starting to get pretty serious. I've asked him about it, and he says he's really happy for TK and Kari and hopes things work out for them too. I've asked Kari about it, and she told me, in no uncertain terms, to butt out of her love life. I'm too intimidated to ask TK.

When did that happen? Me being intimidated of TK would have been ridiculous not that many years ago. But now the little kid I remember is gone, and there's this young man who has been dating my sister for years now. In fact, he just left my house after dinner with my parents where he asked for the family's blessing for his impending engagement to Kari.

Our blessing, mind you, not our permission.

I'm really happy for them. Kari is her best self when she's with TK, and she brings out the best parts of TK as well. She brings him down a notch when he gets overly anxious or starts obsessing about evil, and he obviously makes her so happy, even when they've had one of their (infrequent) fights. Matt and I have talked about it, and we're both totally on board with TK and Kari growing old together, as long as the crazy uncles get to play with our nephews and nieces down the line.

But TK is not someone I can just push around. Once he and Kari have made a decision together, they do it, even if it's not what others around them would prefer. That's why he asked for the family blessing, not permission. He and Kari have decided to get married, and I don't think withholding our blessings would have stopped them from getting married. If he feels we, her biological family, aren't doing something in Kari's best interests, he'll tell us. He's even yelled me down once when I tried to get all "overprotective", saying that, first of all, he's her #1 go to guy for overprotectiveness these days, and second, she's a big girl who can fight her own battles when she needs to.

It's not that he was wrong, mind you. It's just that I don't think Davis would have ever challenged me like that.

I could've controlled Davis. He would've needed my permission to marry Kari, not just requested my blessing but gone ahead with his plans no matter the outcome. He would have dated Kari for way longer – like, until he was sixty – before popping the question. And he would never, ever, ever hold my sister's hand in front of me or kiss her on the cheek when I'm around. Because I could've scared him out of it.

So, yeah. It's not logical, but there's a small part of me that wishes Davis had won the heart of my little sister. It's a tiny part. A part that goes quiet when I see how happy my sister is with TK. And it's a part that will continue to shrink with time. And it's a part that I will never tell Kari about.

Then there's the other part. The loud part. The part that is so happy my sister is with TK, who makes her blissfully happy, even though – and maybe partly because – he will stand up to me. I'll just listen to that part instead.

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading! I'm considering turning this into a multi-chapter set of musings on some of the other Digidestined's irrational thoughts, and I'd love to hear your feedback on which characters (and which irrational quandaries) you might like to see. For now, this will remain a one-shot drabble musing thing inspired by wayyyyy too much caffeine and some really bad weekend TV. Enjoy!