"Connor?"
The voice is small and childlike but it wakes him right up from his deep, peaceful sleep. The room it´s pitch black but that doesn´t matter, he already knows that it´s Murphy standing by his bed, looking like a little boy with his messy black hair and pale, white skin that is covered in a few scrapes and bruises. Bruises and scrapes from when he falls down or runs in to things. It is not that Murphy is clumsy in any ways he is just too wild, hotheaded, always trying something new. His younger half is always trying to climb a little bit higher than last time or jump a little bit longer, for no reason other than to see if he will make it. Sometimes he makes it, sometimes he don´t. His twin is one of the bravest persons he knows but when it´s comes to the dark and sleep his brother stands helpless, too afraid to close his eyes.
"Connor?" Murphy says again meanwhile he clutching on to the pillow in his hand, like it´s a weapon, protecting him from the shadows. "Con!"
"Bad dream again, Murphy?" He asks with a yawn and tries not letting the feeling of worry take over his voice.
"Can I sleep with you?" His little brother asks in a quiet whisper, obviously avoiding the question.
"You don´t have to ask, you know that." He answers and scoots over, making room for his brother.
Murphy crawls down under the covers and he can feel how the fear in his body and mind disappears when he feels Connor next to him, protecting him. For a minute they just lay there, listening to each other's breathing.
"Why won´t you tell me about your dreams?" He asks suddenly and grabs his twins' hand. "Why won´t you tell me what you´re afraid of, Murph? I am your brother!"
"I am aware of that, Con." Murphy snorts and rolls his eyes, still not daring to close them. "And for the bloody record, Connor, I´m not afraid of anything."
"Yeah? So why do you want to sleep in my bed, Murph? I know I´m handsome and perfect but that can´t be the only reason." He taunts with a smile.
It becomes quiet again, deathly quiet. But he knows that Murphy is still wide awake, when Murphy fall asleep one notices. His little brother sleeps like a restless madman. It used to be funny watching Murphy rolling around in bed, twisting and turning, now it´s just scary.
"Murph, you know I love you…"
Murphy sighs frustrated, knowing exactly where this conversation is headed.
"But if Colin finds out about this there will be hell to pay. Remember last time?"
"Fuck Colin, he´s not da, he can´t tell us what to do." Murphy growls quietly. "Ma is just fucking him, killing time."
"That´s your fucking mother you talking about!" He exclaims and smacks his brother on the forehead. In disgust he wrinkles his nose and trying his hardest not to think of his mother fucking Colin.
"It´s your fucking mother…" Murphy mutters darkly.
"What I´m trying to say is that you´re 14 years old Murphy and…" He says but once again Murphy cuts him off with a snarl.
"I know how old I am, Con, I counted the fucking candles on our birthday cake."
"Shut it!" He growls warningly, getting more and more frustrated with his little brother. "Please, Murph, just tell me what´s wrong so I can help you."
"You can´t help me, nobody can´t help me."
"And why is that?"
"Because I don´t know what´s wrong, Con!" Murphy whimpers and feels how the fear is slowly returning. "It just feels like, like there is a war inside of me. I can´t explain it. Every time I close my eyes… I… I… I don´t know what´s wrong. Please Connor, just let me sleep here with you."
The tears in his little brothers eyes, the fear in his voice and the confusion, the horror, on his face; it´s brakes his heart, in too million little pieces.
"Oh Murphy, it´ll be okay, brother." He says in that soothing voice that sounds just like their mothers. He pulls his shaking baby brother in to a hug and he wished he could do something to help. "I promise everything will be all right. I promise."
Murphy is letting himself disappear in to his brother´s embrace and lies there quietly, trying to control the sobbing and the tears. In his ear he hears Connors comforting voice and he knows that nothing can harm him now. He is safe, even from the dark and the shadows. For almost an hour he lays with his brother in his arms, rocking him, comforting him and letting him know that he will always be safe. That he will always be there by his side.
"Thanks Con." Murphy whispers, but still not ready to let go.
"Don´t mention it, Murph, this is what big brother´s do.
"Fuck you, I´m the oldest!"
"No fucking way, baby-face, no fucking way."