Unspoken

SUMMARY: Gaignun believes certain words do not always need to be spoken, especially between his brothers.

GENRE: Drama/Hurt/Comfort
RATED: PG-13 / T
NOTABLE CONTENT: Strong Language and Themes Regarding Death/Murder

COPYRIGHT NOTE: I don't own Xenosaga
STORY TAKES PLACE IN: After Xenosaga: Episode II – Jenseits von Gut und Böse (most likely during Xenosaga: A Missing Year's timeframe).

COMMENTS: This is yet another one of my excruciatingly long one-shots that got chopped into three chapters for reading ease (aren't I considerate?). So, no, I haven't gotten back into writing XS multi-chaptered stories just yet. Still, I enjoyed writing this fic, and got this crazy little idea that others might enjoy this story, too. Hehe.

Any "pairings" in this story are generally strong brotherly love (par usual with most of my U.R.T.V. fanfics). I suppose this fic could be considered slash by super-duper-die-hards, but I myself don't consider it yaoi. You take it from there. Enjoy, and I'd love any reviews!

Unspoken Heartache

Aiselne Nocturnus

The feeling struck Gaignun with the intensity of a rusty blade piercing sensitive skin. A metallic knife sliced through everything, stopping at nothing to reach the innermost sanctums of the man's soul. Rip, tear…his sanity felt shredded and vulnerably exposed to the onslaught of reality. Layers upon layers of his consciousness were breeched like a rock careening through tissue paper. Before he could even brace himself, Gaignun felt the spiritual force strike his heart like an arrow piercing a bull's eye.

The raven-haired man could not help but lurch in his bed, promptly sitting up amidst ruffled bed sheets. The said blankets were warm, though the sheets' heat was not as profound as that from Gaignun's body. Panting heavily, he took a moment to recompose himself in the dark bedroom of his Fifth Jerusalem apartment. His bare chest rose and fell at a rapid rate, perspiration glistening via minute rays of silver moonlight peeking through a nearby window drape. Regaining a breath and releasing it, Gaignun's hands ascended to his sweaty black hair, holding his throbbing head.

Surprisingly, Gaignun knew this mental pain was not credited to Dmitri. No. The particular pain Gaignun experienced tonight was different, and transcended across the U.R.T.V. spiritual link like a wildfire. Even more surprisingly was the fact that not even Yuriev's subconscious influence could stop the pulse. No. This pain Gaignun endured was not his own, or even one of Dmitri's attempts at regaining control. This pain…it was unlike anything Gaignun ever experienced before in his life. Nigredo once believed he experienced agonizing pain when he nearly bled to death on Old Miltia fourteen years ago. Since then, Gaignun never experienced pain that remotely resembled his wounds from the Conflict.

Technically, this current pain was nothing like his wounds from Old Miltia. Those old wounds were dominantly physical. Gaignun could not credit his present torture to broken ribs and torn flesh. On this night, his peculiar suffering was entirely spiritual. No blood was shed, no bones were cracked, and no skin was scathed. Physically, Gaignun was in perfect health.

Mentally…however…

It felt like a wildfire…such was the best way Gaignun could describe the pain engulfing his end of the mental link. His sanity felt consumed, and yet, at the same time it felt intact. It was as though the "fire" only singed him to a point of inflicting agonizing pain, but sparing him from the blessing of death. No. There would be no peace for the U.R.T.V., not that Gaignun was expecting such. He was accustomed to restlessness thanks to his illustrious father harassing him during the past few weeks.

What disturbed Gaignun was how this pain was certainly not Dmitri's doing. Gaignun could tell. He had undergone plenty of Yuriev's games to know when the bastard was at his worst, and this pain was something not even Dmitri could orchestrate. This pain…was too painful…emotional…it was a type of pain Dmitri could never understand, thus he could never harness it to taunt Gaignun.

This pain ran deeper. It burned through Gaignun's mental defenses and wrapped around his heart in a disturbingly loving embrace. His heart was obviously the pain's "destination," and Gaignun expected the worst was yet to come. Yet, how strange it was when the pain reached his heart. Pain tore through the rest of his body like a knife, and yet, once the torture reached Gaignun's heart…the flame embraced him, held on tightly, and extinguished.

How strange it was…the fire seemed to hurt Gaignun more as it fizzled into a shadow of its former self. The rage and pain from before died, leaving him more vulnerable and alone than before when he was emotionally writhing in agony. How strange it was indeed, this pain…this sensation of hurtful embracing. It was not a tender, comforting embrace that clouded his telepathic mind. No. More specifically, it felt like a desperate caress, shakily grappling onto him and begging Gaignun to stay put. The embrace felt saturated in silent pleas: do not go anywhere…stay…do not leave me…!

It was then that Gaignun finally realized what this pain was, this fiery surge across the mental link of fire red diminishing into sapphire blue…

("…Gaignun?")

Gaignun's jade eyes shut tightly as he dipped his head reverently. Dear God, this was not the type of conversation the man wished to engage during the middle of the night. Unfortunately, the telepathic connection was already made, and though he did not relish it, Gaignun knew he could never refuse, either. Taking a deep breath, the black-haired U.R.T.V.'s hands lowered from his head. The hands quickly gripped the bed sheets, a feeble attempt for Gaignun to brace himself for this inevitable conversation.

("Jr.?"), answered Gaignun, attempting to sound surprised by his older brother's sudden call. True, it had been several weeks since Gaignun and Jr. last saw each other. Plus, neither had communicated across the U.R.T.V. mental link, though Gaignun specifically disconnected himself from the link to avoid Yuriev's interference. Gaignun never even realized he reconnected himself to the link tonight, and technically…he never did. It was not impossible for another U.R.T.V. to telepathically force a sibling back onto the link, though the process was so painful and strenuous that it was rarely implemented. Few U.R.T.V.s were powerful enough to execute such drastic measures, too. Now Gaignun understood that agonizing pain from earlier. His mind had been pulled back onto the link against its will, by none other than the strongest U.R.T.V.

But if Gaignun was exhausted by the reconnection, he could just imagine the pain the link master endured reaching him. ("You know force-connection is dangerous"), Gaignun scolded, much like he would whenever he upheld his father figure charade. Charade or not, Gaignun was concerned over his brother's actions. ("It's enough to render the speakers unconscious. What in God's name are you thinking?")

A passionless grunt echoed across the red thread of their linkage. ("Don't preach to me right now, Gaignun. I'm the link master. I'll do whatever the hell I want.")

("Even if it kills you and I?")

("Tch…wouldn't be the first time I killed someone.")

("Jr.!"), Gaignun scolded, though his voice sounded more surprised than reprimanding. In some ways, Gaignun was appalled by Jr.'s words, and in other ways, Gaignun figured he should have expected such. He already noticed the dark curtness in Jr.'s voice; uncaring…low-key…nonchalant…everything that was not the fiery older brother Gaignun knew. Sadly, depression and self-anger were natural stages Gaignun knew Jr. would face sooner or later, especially after what happened to…

("Did I wake you?"), Gaignun heard his brother ask with minute curiosity. The redhead's unsympathetic tone told Gaignun that Jr. really did not care if he woke his younger sibling in the middle of the night. Frankly, it did not sound like Jr. cared about 'anything' at the moment, which frightened Gaignun. Jr. was usually energetic, so hearing him sound dead…it was one of the most disturbing sounds Gaignun ever heard.

("No"), Gaignun lied while lifting his head and glancing through a half-drawn drape of his apartment suite. Beyond the window were glistening stars and bright lights of Fifth Jerusalem's city. Technically, the Federation capitol never slept, and it was clear that Gaignun was not going to sleep tonight, either.

("Liar"), Jr. muttered knowingly. ("It's nighttime at the Foundation.")

("That doesn't necessarily mean the same applies to Fifth Jerusalem"), Gaignun countered just as sharply, continuing the lie for Jr.'s benefit. Gaignun had a feeling Jr. would not be pleased with himself for depriving his younger brother of sleep…regardless if the older brother admitted it or not. Right now, Jr. obviously had enough worries clouding his mind, and Gaignun did not want to be one of them.

So to put Jr.'s mind a little more at ease, the black-haired Variant gazed out his window. ("It's a beautiful day on this planet. Right now, I'm in my apartment and watching a few kids playing hopscotch in the park below"). Yet another lie. The park Gaignun was staring at was pitch-black and vacant. At this hour, any "kids playing hopscotch" would be sleeping soundly in their beds. ("They seem to be having fun.")

There was a pause from Jr.'s end of the link. Gaignun was still uncertain if his brother believed his fib, but did it really matter? More than anything, Gaignun was just trying to keep the conversation warm, instead of allowing Jr.'s pessimism to sour it.

("…Remember that one time we played hopscotch, Gaignun?")

How could he forget? It was difficult for Gaignun to recall that childhood memory without feeling a smile tug his lips. The memory happened a very long time ago in the Variants' youths, years before Sakura and Old Miltia came into the picture…long before the brothers' lives unraveled. ("You were quite clumsy at it.")

There was a slight flare on the other side of the link. ("Well, how the hell was I supposed to know I had to hop INSIDE the squares? Besides…YOU were the one who drew them! For all your damn attention to details, you couldn't draw a friggen square right!")

("Yes…and I got quite a scolding for it when our father found out I scribbled across his immaculate sidewalks"). Gaignun made sure to say that last sentence with as much scorn and mockery as he could muster, in the event Dmitri was listening. Actually, Gaignun was surprised their father had yet to interfere with the Variants' conversation. Then again, considering the powerful spiritual reconnection process, Yuriev might have been affected. There was no reason to assume their father was impervious to the power, so for all Gaignun knew his father got a little 'surprise,' courtesy of the link master. Gaignun really did not care, as long as his illustrious father kept quiet. ("But YOU were still a klutz back then, Jr. We only played that one time because we didn't want you breaking your neck.")

("That wasn't MY fault! You try jumping around with your Goddamn brother hanging from your neck-!")

There was an abrupt pause. Gaignun instantly scolded himself for ever bringing up the hopscotch idea in the first place. A cold shiver ran through the mental link, driving chills down the man's spine. Silently cursing himself, Gaignun shook his head slowly, knowing now was definitely the time to change the subject.

Surprisingly, Jr. spoke first. ("…Who cares, anyway? Hopscotch is for girls"). The downcast tone returned, the animation died, and Gaignun realized he just unintentionally drove Jr. right back to where he was when their conversation started.

Sighing, Gaignun lowered his head once again, staring absentmindedly at the right hand draped over his lap. The dim moonlight was bright enough to illuminate his serial number, much to Gaignun's distaste. 669: the mark of an executioner. According to Dmitri and Citrine, Gaignun was the person fated to eventually murder his little conversant. By no means did that fact imply that Gaignun was 'willing' to kill Jr., of course. Quite the contrary, it made Gaignun all the more adamant about opposing and changing his fate. Nigredo refused to kill his beloved brother.

Yet, how ironic it was, this role as Executioner. Technically, Gaignun was fated to be a murderer and slay the Red Dragon: U.R.T.V. Number 666. Yet, now, the roles were somewhat reversed. Number 666 was fated to have executioners craving his blood, but he was not fated to be an executioner, himself. How ironic. Gaignun, a destined executioner, never killed Jr., and instead, Jr. did the executing. The only difference was the person Jr. executed was not Gaignun.

("You…you KNOW, don't you, Gaignun?"), Jr.'s voice whispered hesitantly into his younger brother's mind. The link master's tone was strange tonight, fluctuating between moods that obviously reflected the redhead's emotional rollercoaster. Gaignun tremendously respected his older brother, but he was also the first to admit that Jr. was not always the most composed of people.

True, Jr. could handle political affairs with a level head. In fact, the redhead took extreme pleasure in controlling business meetings. Naive adult clients' asses would fall to their seats and jaws always dropped by the "child's" political brilliance. It never took long for Jr. to let government officials know he was more than just Chairman Kukai's bratty son tagging along to business meetings. Hell, half the time Jr. talked more than Gaignun during meetings! Then again, Gaignun always believed his big-mouthed brother talked more than everybody.

However, composure regarding politics, and composure regarding 'personal problems,' tended to be two different mindsets. Jr. excelled with the first, and often failed with the latter. It did not help that the oldest Variant was stubborn and preferred to handle matters on his own. Gaignun attempted to break Jr. of such habits throughout the years, but unfortunately some things could never be helped. For the most part, Jr. was mature enough to handle almost any situation, political or personal, which was what made him a natural-born leader. Jr. was too stubborn to let most people break him, at least without one hell of a fight.

But…there are exceptions to every rule, even Jr. Gaignun was fully aware of his older brother's greatest weakness. Jr. would have been damned to ever admit such, verbally or telepathically, but Gaignun knew. He knew it ever since his youth, and every time he thought about it, Gaignun found himself unwillingly returning to the past.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sixteen years ago, Nigredo found himself behind the protection of a 9mm pistol. It was certainly not the first time the U.R.T.V.s faced combat. After all, Dr. Yuriev ensured that his Designer Children got as much field experience as possible. Standard policy deemed a U.R.T.V. was not allowed to engage in actual combat until age ten. Until then, all other training was done under the supervisions and safeties of the Yuriev Institute. But by age ten, the U.R.T.V.s were dubbed "experienced enough" to finally leave the institute and accept minor missions, more or less to appease the Federation higher-ups.

Despite his natural composure, the ten-year-old Nigredo was nervous, even though he was armed with a loaded weapon. Plus, he always had his inherent U.R.T.V. powers. Still, this was Nigredo's first field mission, and being away from the boundaries of the institute was both liberating and frightening. At least this mission was not too difficult. All Nigredo and his allies had to do was obliterate a bizarre space-time distortion that manifested within the bowels of a Federation laboratory. Dmitri believed the "distortion" was U-DO, and promptly sent his retrovirus children to the location.

At the time, Nigredo and his brothers had never seen U-DO, or knew much about it. The U.R.T.V.s were still too young to train in the U-DO simulator, so this mission was the first time the kids ever laid eyes on their anti-existence. Naturally, they were quite stunned to see the distortion, best resembling glistening red and purple cobwebs along the walls of the laboratory's chamber. White beads of light occasionally danced along the thread-like U-DO waves, much like dewdrops on a spider's web. Strangely, the lights gave the illusion of white blood circulation, further proving this "U-DO" entity was indeed alive.

The laboratory was slowly but surely becoming consumed by U-DO's contagious web. Deployed U.R.T.V.s 660 through 669 were ordered to irradiate all traces of U-DO from the quarantined building, sweeping it clean until the area was deemed safe. It was a simple mission of children shooting U-DO webs with either their pistols or their powers. Each time a web was hit, it burst into shimmering particles, raining to the floor like surreal snowflakes. The sight was quite beautiful to see, actually.

However, the sight was also dangerous if one was not careful. Despite the beauty of those U-DO particles, they were still indeed U-DO fragments, and highly infectious. All it took was one innocently inhaled breath of those U-DO particles…

…And Albedo fell into unconsciousness.

"Albedo? Oh my God! ALBEDO!!"

Dear lord, Nigredo never wanted to hear Rubedo scream like that again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jr. had a weakness. It was not a trivial weakness, either, such as the redhead's gambling habits. True, Gaignun always rolled his eyes whenever his older brother went weak in the knees over the sight of dusty books and antique guns. It was no lie to claim gambling, books, and guns were "weaknesses" of Jr.'s, but they were insignificant. There was a larger, deeper weakness Jr. buried inside of him that remained unspoken for the past fourteen years. That did not mean the weakness "went away," and recently it resurfaced like a tidal wave. Very much like a wave, reality crashed down upon Jr. and nearly killed him. Now the link master was forced to stay afloat, even if he lacked the will to do so.

"…You KNOW, don't you, Gaignun?"

Of course Gaignun knew. There was a peculiar emptiness within the U.R.T.V. spiritual link, as if one of its 'links' was missing. Everything felt disconnected, uncertain, and frazzled, much like the link felt that horrible night fourteen years ago. Traversing the bloodstained streets of Old Miltia was difficult for any survivors, but even worse for a telepathic U.R.T.V. As more and more brothers became infected and murdered, the mental link fell apart. Truthfully, Nigredo knew the only way he survived that night was thanks to his sole mental connection to Rubedo. Linking to infected comrades would only upset and endanger Nigredo. Therefore, he latched onto Rubedo's will as tightly as possible, enabling them to eventually find each other and escape.

However, Nigredo would have been lying if he claimed he did not occasionally seek Albedo, too. Over the past few weeks, Gaignun had been reacquainting himself with the second-eldest Variant for reconnaissance purposes. Even before then, Nigredo often sought Albedo whenever Rubedo was not available. After all, Nigredo was the youngest brother, so it was only natural that he sought the comfort of his older brothers…both brothers.

After the Miltian Conflict, Nigredo sometimes searched the link for Albedo, in the event the white-haired brother was still alive. Until recently, no closure had been provided to Rubedo and Nigredo regarding whatever happened to Albedo on Miltia. Canaan and chaos did not find the middle child, so everyone lived under the assumption Albedo never escaped. Neither Nigredo nor Rubedo truly believed Albedo "died," because the younger twin was a regenerative immortal. The boys did, however, believe Albedo was swallowed by the U-DO anomaly, and resided at the bottom of the Abyss like Old Miltia. Since neither brother knew how (or knew if it was even possible) to return to Miltia, Rubedo and Nigredo decided to let their pasts die within the Abyss. The surviving brothers acquired aliases, established the Kukai Foundation, and continued moving forward. Never in Jr. and Gaignun's wildest imaginations did they expect their pasts to resurface fourteen years later, at least like this!

Nigredo never harbored delusions of Albedo's death. During the rare times he traced the link for Albedo, the youngest brother did find what he was looking for. Nigredo and Albedo never spoke, nor did Nigredo even know if Albedo noticed his inquiries. However, Nigredo could sense his middle brother, and knew Albedo was still alive…somewhere.

Of course, Nigredo never dared tell Rubedo the truth, though Gaignun assumed Jr. always knew it. Still, the surviving brothers rarely uttered a word about Albedo. Nigredo knew what would happen he told Rubedo that his twin was still alive. The redhead would be furious, with both Albedo and mostly himself. Rubedo tortured himself over the years for betraying his comrades on Miltia. However, there was a saving grace in believing those comrades were now resting in peace. Knowing Albedo was still alive meant the younger twin could seek revenge against his traitorous other half.

More profoundly, Nigredo feared if Rubedo knew the truth about Albedo's survival, Rubedo would hate himself for fleeing Miltia in the first place. Leaving behind dead comrades was not as painful as leaving behind a brother who was still alive, mentally stable or not. Gaignun envisioned Jr.'s laments: the surviving brothers should have brought Albedo with them, Canaan, and chaos. Under Helmer's protection, maybe Albedo could have been cured? Maybe the three siblings could have started anew and established the Kukai Foundation together? The list of possibilities was endless, and that was why Gaignun remained silent.

Nigredo knew, in time, Albedo would make his presence known again. The middle child would not allow his backstabbing brothers live the rest of their lives under the assumption that Albedo died. No. Such was not Albedo's character. Since his unstable mind had been corroded by U-DO, God only knew how Albedo would exact his justifiable vengeance. And even if, by some chance, Albedo was not seeking 'revenge,' per se, Nigredo knew Albedo could not stand being away from his precious Rubedo for too long. Gaignun was amazed that Albedo waited fourteen years! Back during his reconnaissance, Gaignun was tempted to ask his older brother what the hell took Albedo so long to make his grand re-entry to the stage. However, Gaignun preferred not to know.

But now, the mental link had been severed again, indefinitely this time. The white link had been shattered and vanished, as did so many others during the Conflict. Now there were only three strings of the spiritual link left: red, black, and orange. Right now, Gaignun noticed how the red link seemed significantly dim, no longer shining brightly without its white counterpart nearby. Lackluster crimson remained: darkened, lifeless…incomplete.

"…You KNOW, don't you, Gaignun?"

Gaignun knew 'many' things at the moment. He knew the white-haired middle child was dead, and he knew Albedo's red-haired half was suffering the consequences. Whether or not this was the type of revenge Albedo intended for Rubedo, Gaignun did not know, but the end result was pain, regardless of motives.

("I know, Jr."), Gaignun finally replied tenderly, knowing he was starting to traverse very dangerous territory with Jr. Rubedo never liked to talk about Albedo over the years, for obvious reasons. However, on the rare occasions the topic arose, Jr. reacted in ways Gaignun never liked.

The redhead's reactions were always different. Sometimes Jr. would curse up a storm, and other times he would decorate his bedroom walls with bullet holes. To Jr.'s credit, these outbursts were always done privately. Still, since Gaignun was telepathically connected to his brother, Nigredo always knew what Rubedo did. The younger brother did not mean to be nosy, either. Gaignun just preferred to quietly listen to the mental link, in the event Jr.'s tirade got dangerous. Nigredo would have been damned if he tuned off the link for one second, only to find out it was long enough for Jr. to hurt himself. During such times, Gaignun particularly hated remembering how Jr.'s room was full of loaded automatic weapons. Maturity was not the 'only' reason Gaignun frequently reminded Jr. not to shoot foolhardily.

("Aren't you gonna' say something to me, Gaignun?")

Gaignun blinked curiously. ("Such as?")

("Such as what you're REALLY feeling at the moment?")

("And what might I be 'really feeling' at this moment, Jr.?")

("That your oldest brother is a fucking fratricide.")

Gaignun was not surprised by Jr.'s last comment, but that did not mean the black-haired man never shuddered. Nigredo never liked to hear his big brother talk so negatively about himself. ("I believe those are YOUR feelings right now, Jr."), he corrected knowingly. ("I don't harbor such resentment towards you, if that's what you are concerned about.")

Another emotionless grunt resonated from Jr.'s end. ("Lair.")

("What reason would I have to lie to you, Jr.?")

("He said he hated me, Gaignun. There's no reason to think you're any different.")

Blinking, Gaignun furrowed his brow. Gaignun almost asked Jr. to identify whom "he" was who allegedly "hated" Jr. However, Gaignun filled in the blank. Who else would say such hurtful words to Jr.? Admittedly, Gaignun felt a tiny flare of anger well inside of him. Albedo always did this; torment Jr. and make the redhead regret his abandonment from fourteen years ago. Even to the bitter end, it seemed Albedo would not be happy unless he tore apart one last piece of his other half's heart. Gaignun even wondered if Albedo would be pleased with himself over the pretty little mess he made of his so-called beloved Rubedo. Knowing the younger twin's twisted sense of entertainment, Albedo would sneer proudly over the delectable sight of Rubedo loathing himself. Yes. Albedo would savor the moment like the sweetest candy!

As for Gaignun, he could feel his older brother's torment across the spiritual link. During times like these, Gaignun wanted to get the hell off Fifth Jerusalem and fly back to the Kukai Foundation. Everybody in the colony would be delighted to see their chairman finally return, though Gaignun would keep his sights set on one person. Mary and Shelley would ensure the Kukais' privacy on the Durandal. That way, the reunited brothers could handle their middle siblings' death more appropriately. Rubedo and Nigredo did so once, fourteen years ago.

One month after the Conflict, Nigredo had been discharged from the hospital. Helmer reserved a small apartment for the boys in a secured military facility for protection purposes. It was the first night in their new home…the first night of Rubedo and Nigredo's new lives.

Nigredo blamed himself for what happened that night. During his weeks of hospitalization, the injured Variant was partially oblivious to the world around him. There were occasional voices: doctors, Helmer…mostly Rubedo…talking to the semi-conscious Nigredo. Whatever the voices said were usually either garbled, medical jargon, or simple chitchat. Nobody ever brought up the Conflict, fearing the news may upset Nigredo and jeopardize his recovery. The day of Nigredo's discharge, the hell known as Miltia seemed nothing but a dream. Everybody seemed so happy by then. Helmer paternally praised the boy's strength, and Rubedo…dear God, Nigredo could not recall seeing Rubedo's face so bright! Their world was engulfed in the most jubilant ecstasy that day.

However, by nightfall, Nigredo realized Miltia was not a dream. After all, Albedo was no longer with him and Rubedo. That was all the proof Nigredo needed that their nightmare on Miltia was real. Even though, by then, it had been a month since the disaster, the realization hit Nigredo as if the Conflict happened just yesterday. His blurry hospitalization never gave Nigredo the chance to fully absorb the hellish reality…until that night in his new ward. Rubedo held Nigredo all night.

In retrospect, Gaignun cursed himself for that night. He was not ashamed of his right to grieve, but he never did return the favor to Rubedo. Unfortunately, Rubedo was never the type to seek other's help, either. Even if Gaignun immediately returned to the Foundation, Jr. would probably laugh, "that's why you ran back here?" Besides, Dmitri would never allow Gaignun's departure from Fifth Jerusalem. Gaignun counted his blessings that his father never once interrupted Jr.'s conversation. Such did minutely pique Gaignun's suspicions, though.

But Gaignun had better people to worry about. After all, just because Jr. was too stubborn to accept help, it never meant the redhead did not 'need' help. Nigredo knew such for a very long time.

End of Part I of III

A/N: Just so you know, I am a total sucker for post-Episode II stories chronicling Jr.'s coping over Albedo's death (aka. don't be surprised if you get more post-Ep.2 fics from me in the future). Yet, while I love those stories, I can't help but notice how Gaignun is almost always disregarded (of course, it's not uncommon for Nigredo to be forgotten in fanfics staring the twins, anyway). Still, I wanted to write my own post-Ep.2 story, but more through Gaignun's perspective. After all, Albedo was Nigredo's brother, too.

In case readers' memories are hazy, the "U-DO cobwebs" idea was taken directly from Episode II, when the cast ventures into sunken Miltia's Labyrinthos and finds a lower level infested with web-like U-DO waves (I didn't totally bullshit the idea). I always found it weird how the webs were supposedly U-DO, yet when players pass through the webs, they don't get infected. Why aren't the webs contagious like the waves? I dunno (ask Monolith, not me). I took a few creative liberties with this idea. Doesn't creative license rock? ^_^

Anyway, I hope everyone's enjoying this fic so far. Part II will be released sometime next week, and will explain a few mysteries from this chapter. I'd really appreciate any reviews in the meantime.