Jake. That was all I could think about as I cleaned up my room. Well more he was the only person I could think of. My best friend, the only person I really needed at that moment. Any moment. I made my bed quickly, stashing some clothes and other belongings underneath it. Dad might hear my thoughts later, but I didn't care. I was much too distracted to think about cleaning my room. Dad and mom had probably given me this task to keep my mind off of Jake, but cleaning my room didn't keep my mind busy. It was elsewhere, dreaming up brilliant and spectacular fantasies. Fantasies, I sighed thinking about it. Jake…would never love me the way that I loved him. He would never know how much I wanted him. How intense my thoughts become when they concerned him. I had no right to feel the way I did. But somehow that didn't matter.

Jake had known me for forever. He'd been my best friend for as long as I would let him, and we'd been friends as long as I had lived pretty much. He had seen me at my worst, tried to handle me at my best, and had been there for every moment in between. He was there when I cried over the stupid things, he would watch me model things I bought at the mall, and he gave up everything multiple times to protect my family and me. My eye twitched as I thought about all the danger this family had ever put Jake through. It just was not fair to him at all. What did he get in return? Friendship and a place to crash every once and a while. That was not fair at all.

Outside, I heard a car pull up, and a door slam. I was already dashing out of my room, down the stairs, and out into the driveway before Jake could've even gotten to the door. I practically jumped on him, wrapping my arms and legs around him tightly. He had been away for way too long. Stupid college. And stupid mom for highly encouraging Jake to go to college. He was smart enough already. He didn't need to go learn more. He especially did not need to go away from me. Well, I guess it really wasn't that far. He only was gone for two, maybe three weeks at the most when he left. It was just unbearable waiting for him to come back, though. Everything was so much more boring! Jake lit everything up.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly, squeezing be back. He set me down carefully and observed me. "I'm still not used to the fact that soon you're not going to be growing every five minutes," he laughed.

"Nice to see you too," I rolled my eyes at him.

My arms desperately wanted to reach out, to touch him again. I want to hug him again…I wanted to kiss him, really. But that was out of line. And I knew he didn't like me that way. He saw me like a little sister. Someone who needed to be protected, someone who needed everyone to constantly watch her. I saw him like my older brother at once, but that phase had passed by very fast. It only lasted about six months. And then the best friend ever thing set in…and now. Well, yea. It was complicated.

"I missed you, Nessie," he smiled.

"I missed you too, Jake," I replied, grinning so wide that it hurt the sides of my mouth. Those four words that he had said…they stopped my world in a matter of seconds. I felt like I was going to burst. There was too much inside of me. I instantly thanked god that Uncle Jasper wasn't there. He would be frantic with all the emotions going through me.



I grabbed the top of his arm and tugged him forward, toward the house. "Mom and Dad made me clean my room this morning. I swear, anything to get me away so they can make out for a while. I mean, I could just move in with Grandma and Grandpa!" I mock-complained as I lead him along. I was really just trying to think of something to say so that my heart wouldn't beat so fast.

Too bad hearing his voice made that frantic beating worse. "You really want to live with Carlisle and Esme? And deal with Blondie even more than you have to? Honestly, Nessie, I don't understand you."

I had to remind myself how to breathe. "I'm a very complicated person," I managed to force to come out my mouth without sounding like a complete idiot.

I let go of his arm, trying to keep my head as best that I could. He grabbed my hand. God damn it! Why did he have to make this so hard? We walked over to the couch and sat down. Jake was my best friend. He was probably expecting to hear a blow by blow of the past few weeks. He probably wanted to give me loads of useless advice, make fun of my Aunt Rosalie, and laugh at what Aunt Alice had done. He probably want to tell my dad he was being overprotective. He probably wanted to tell Mom a thousand things about college. He probably wanted to tell me about all the exciting things going on at college. And I would pretend to be enthusiastic, pretend that I was super glad he was at college. I panicked as he started bringing my hand to his face. Oh, he was going to see everything that had happened. But I didn't want him to see. If I didn't have a minute now to get a hold of my thoughts, than he would see how I felt during the few minutes that had just passed. I pulled my hand out of his grasp with a hard tug. His face scrunched up. "Talk about an invasion of privacy," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"If you wouldn't have been paying attention, or meaning to show me anything, then you wouldn't. You know that, Ness."

"Well I do have some things I want to show you! Seth came down a few days ago, and well, oh god it was freaking hilarious! And well, you know this family, how we get. Uncle Emmett…well hang on, I'll show you."

When I was sure I had control over what I was going to show him, I pressed my hand to his face.

About five minutes later, he was double over in laughter . "Seth! Emb-and Emmett! HAHAHA, Blondie and shrimp," he just sat there, trying to retell it in his own words.

I giggled along with his loud laughter. "It was pretty hilarious. Don't you love how Embry-"

"Totally crashed the car! Yes!" Jake finished my sentence.

I nodded and grinned widely again. "And we're never letting Seth live that one down," I shook my head as I thought about it.

"Not in a million years," he agreed.

We stayed on the couch, talking for a while. He told me how college was sort of fun, but could get really boring really fast. My stomach plunged about twenty feet into the depths as he talked about it all. But 

there was one piece of brightness throughout it all, he hadn't mentioned any girls that he liked. It wasn't like I was about to bring it up either. I didn't want to hear about that particular subject. After we finished going over everything, we started joking around like we did. It was sort of a game we had made up a really long time ago. Sort of a first thing that comes to mind game. We came up with some very strange things sometimes.

"Cars," He said with a quick smile.

"Mechanic," I groaned.

"Broken," he laughed.

"Hearted," I said without thinking.

"Sad," Jake gagged.

I fake glared, "Titanic."

"Ew."

"How can you say ew?!" I asked, my mouth hanging open.

"We've been over this before, Nessie. That movie sucks."

I turned my head away from him, pretending to be angry. "I'm not talking to you. Starting now."

Two minute passed. "It's good to have you home, Jacob," I turned back to him and smiled, talking again.

He grinned at me and replied, "It's really good to be home."

And my heart started beating very, very fast once again.

We decided to go out to La Push for a while. I wanted to go to the beach really badly, and Jake was pretty much up to seeing his friends in La Push any chance he got. I got dressed in my swim suit, and a sun dress and ran back down stairs, without falling. Mom always wished that I had been at least a little clumsy during my youth years. My family always told stories about how clumsy mom had been while she was a human. They made me laugh. I had never once been as clumsy as my mother. I pitied the people who were. They must have had a lot of bruises.

Jake was sitting in his car, in the drivers seat. I rolled my eyes. God forbid he let me drive for once. I opened the passenger seat door and lid in. "I get to drive home!" I declared.

"No," he said simply, flashing me a quick, half smile as he started the car.



I rolled my eyes, and sat back in the seat, crossing my arms over my chest. "And you're going to buckle your seat belt," Jake said firmly. "No complaining. Last time I didn't make you, your dad just about kicked me out of the house."

I mumbled and reached out for it, pulling it across my body and buckling it in. "Happy?" I asked.

"Very," He muttered back.

Silence. It gave me time to think, which I needed. It was overwhelming being with Jacob for so long. I lost my sense of common sense. I couldn't think clearly. He clouded my mind somehow, like a deep fog. One that smelled so delicious, one that pulled me in…one that I would not be able to shake. And this fog was gorgeous, like a sunset on a late spring night. This fog would never be gotten rid of. The warnings were there though. I was getting myself into this too much, setting myself up to be hurt very quickly. Yet, somehow, I didn't give a damn.

The scenery in the window passed by quickly and soon we were in La Push. Jake parked and we walked the short distance to the beach. Embry and Quil were there. Quil had a nine year old Claire with him. She saw me and came running. I opened my arms and picked the smaller girl up easily. She was so light. I hugged her as I walked back down toward Quil. I felt Jake walking behind me. "Hi, Nessie! I haven't seen you in forever! Guess what, Nessie! School gets out soon! I'm going to spend every day down here on the beach. Quil promised to take me anytime I wanted," The girl smiled widely as I put her down.

"That's pretty amazing, kiddo," I said, and then looked at Quil. "Anytime she wants?" I raised one eyebrow.

He shrugged and glanced toward Jake. They chuckled together. I walked over to Embry. He gave me a quick hug, and then I pulled off my sundress. "I bet you that I could beat you out into the water and back," I challenged him, throwing the dress aside.

Embry rolled his eyes. "You're on, squirt."

He was ridiculously tall, just like Jake and the rest of the werewolves. Damn them and their damn height. I felt very short next to them all. We had Claire yell go and then Embry and I dashed into the water, swimming out as far as possible, and then turning back and swimming back. He beat me by mere seconds. I came out of the water and pouted. "That was so unfair. Your legs are longer so you go farther! For every one little stretch of swimming for you, it's three for me!"

"Don't be a sore loser, Ness," Embry laughed, ruffling my hair.

I glared him, and then turned to Jake to whine. "Jakkkkeeee! Embry's being a meany!" I said, as if I was younger again.

Jake laughed and then yelled mockingly. "Embry, I'm gonna kick your ass! Look what you did to poor Nessie! Now she's cold and wet!"

"HEY!" Quil said, "No saying A-S-S in front of Claire!"



"I know what ass is, Quil," Clarie told him, glaring up at him.

"Ooo, I'm sooo scared," Embry rolled his eyes.

Jake ran at him, and Embry bolted. I giggled as I watched them run around like madmen for a while.

Claire and I made a sandcastle, and then Quil fell on it when Embry pushed him. Then Claire pulled out the pouty dog face and Quil let us bury him in the sand. We tried to make Embry let us bury him too, but he just stood up like the tall asshole werewolf he was and said no. Jake let us bury him, though. Claire got bored with it and went to go rebuild our castle, leaving me to bury Jake alone.

I blushed lightly as I buried him. This was kind of awkward. I'd never buried Jake in the sand before, even when I was younger. That was kind of funny. "Embry, do you have a camera?" I asked when I had finished.

"Claire gave me one of the disposable ones this morning. She told me that if I didn't use it up she'd have Quil hurt me," Embry shivered and threw the little camera over to me.

I laughed and took a picture of Jake in the sand, and then one of Quil. I tossed the camera back to Embry and then dropped back down on my knees next to Jake. My heart sped up as I scooted closer. "I'll unbury you if you absolutely promise that I can drive home," I offered.

He glared. "Not a chance."

"Okie dokie," I laughed at him, not with him, "You can get yourself out of there. In the meantime, I'm going to be at the car. We're expecting you for dinner at my house."

I stood up and grabbed my dress, sliding it over my head as I walked the short distance back to the car. It wasn't locked. I slid into the passenger seat and waited, drumming my fingers against the door. It was easier to think when my beautiful fog wasn't there. I could get a hold of myself so that when he came back, I was almost ready to not crack at his gorgeous smile. He glared at me as he opened the door and got in. "Sand gets everywhere."

I laughed like a lunatic, clutching my stomach. "Oh, wow," I said, gasping for breath as I fought to gain control of my laughter.

He rolled his eyes and started the car, driving us home quickly. My dad's car wasn't in the driveway. That meant they were at grandma and grandpa's. "Let's get changed, and then we'll go over there. We can just run, I don't want to take the car," Jake suggested.

I nodded, and headed upstairs. I slipped off the dress and tossed it into the hamper. I walked into my closet and picked out something for dinner. Simple, but Alice would approve. I got dressed into my clothes and held my shoes in my hand, knowing it would be easier to run without them on. When I got 

downstairs, Jake was already there waiting. "Why do girls always take so freaking long to get ready?" Jake asked me.

I shrugged. "I didn't even do my hair," I told him.

He groaned and grabbed my arm lightly, pulling me along. We ran lazily over to my grandparent's house, and walked right in. "Helloooo!" I called.

Aunt Alice popped out of seriously nowhere. "Hi, Nessie! Yay, you're wearing the dress you bought the other day. It looks just as lovely on it now as it did in the store. Ohh, hello, Jacob. You'll have to tell us all about your past few weeks at dinner, come on."

I giggled and followed my aunt into the dining room. Two plates of food were set out, and all the other places were empty. Jake and I sat down at the places with food. My family began to question Jake, and I sat there quietly and ate. My Aunt Rosalie was on my other side. I love Rose, even if she wasn't that fond of Jake. She still cared for me and I found myself being very close to her. She was easy to talk to about things that I couldn't talk about with Jake or my parents. Rosalie was there to pick up everyone else's slack with me. I could always count on her. Currently, she was looking at the food I was eating with disgust. I giggled a little again.

Dinner went by quickly, and I said goodnight to my aunt and uncles, and my grandparents. Esme yet again sent left overs with me and Jake, even though she would probably make an even bigger breakfast for us the next morning. I thanked her, though, and then me and Jake ran back to my house. My parents were there already. They had ran as well. Jake and I didn't run as fast as they did, but we still made pretty good time. Jake had escaped to the guest room, and I was trying to escape to my room, but my mom caught me. "Renesme, come tell me about your day, hun."

I backed up and walked into the living room, sitting down on to the couch. "Umm, Jake got back, we caught up, then we went to the beach and hung with Quil, Claire, and Embry for a while. Me and Claire buried Quil and Jake in the sand. Embry's going to get the pictures developed and give them to me."

She smiled at me. "Sounds like fun. So how is Jake doing?"

I shrugged. "Good, I guess. He says college is kind of boring sometimes."

My mother heard the hope that was in my voice. She laughed and rolled her eyes a little. "I know you don't like him being away, Renesme, but this is good for Jake."

"You don't understand how terrible it feels to have him go away," I muttered quietly, not wanting Jake to even think about overhearing that.

My mother's eyes went a little blank, as if she was remembering something. "Mom, what's wrong?" I asked, feeling a little guilty for saying anything about the college situation.

"Nothing, sweetie. Nothing at all. You and Jake should go hang out. Remind Jake to at least pretend he slept in the guest bed, alright?" mom reminded me.



I blushed a little. Jake never slept in the guest bed. He slept in my bed. Ever since I was little he would spend the night with me. He was warm, and he kept my blankets and my room warm, plus it was nice to have him be there. It gave me an excuse to be near him. It made me feel so good to be so close to him…so hear him breathe so evenly while he slept…It calmed me. My dad hated it, though. He always got pretty peeved off about it when ever it came up in a conversation. Oh well.

I ran upstairs and changed quickly, pulling my hair back into a messy bun. Jake knocked on the door minutes later. "Come in," I said, plopping down on to my bed.

He opened the door and walked in, shutting it quietly. He walked over to my bed and sat down next to me. "It really is good to be home."

"I'm glad you still think that," I muttered sourly.

"Listen, Ness, I know you're not happy about this whole college thing. Trust me, it's not that easy for me either. I'd much rather be here. But your mom is right, this is a good opportunity for me, and I have to take it. I wish I could be home more. I miss it, and I miss you," he explained quietly.

My heart raced. He missed me. He wanted to home more. It was hard for him too. His words flooded my mind. I hugged him and said, "It's okay. It's all okay. You're here now. That's all that matters."

He laughed and hugged me back. "Right. That's all that matters."

We stayed like that for a while, and then we laid down under the blankets around two am when we finally decided to get some sleep. He draped his arm across my side carefully. "Night," he muttered, his warm breath tickled the back of my neck.

"Night," I replied, closing my eyes and just trying to get a hold my mind again.