Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or have any rights at all regarding my fanfic. I do hope everyone loves it, even if it doesn't go in the way I had expected. To be honest, some of the characters took over the story and wouldn't let me have my wicked way with it. Warning to cupcakes! Joe doesn't look so great in the beginning of this story. Don't worry, he'll shape up. I got the lyrics to Maroon 5 and Rihanna's If I Never See Your Face Again from .
Chapter 1
Six Months Ago:
My name is Stephanie Plum. I have no life. It is Saturday afternoon, and as of this moment, I am in my car taking a man named Jimmy Ambrose to the police station. You see, I'm a Bond Enforcement Agent, also known as a Bounty Hunter. Some people still call me the 'Bombshell Bounty Hunter', from one of my explosions, but they usually don't let me hear it.
Jimmy Ambrose was picked up for aggravated assault, and my cousin Vincent Plum's Bond Agency had forked out his bond. Unfortunately for Vinnie, but fortunately for me, Ambrose had missed his court appearance. I had been sent to bring him in to the station.
Since Ambrose was not known to carry a weapon, my friend and sometimes partner Lula and I decided that we could handle it. Well, actually we did handle it, after Ambrose kicked our asses and rolled us around in some mud.
I was covered in reddish brown mud and feeling pretty damn annoyed. At least I had finally managed to stun the guy. I looked in my rearview mirror, fingering the stitches on my forehead. I winced when I saw that it was caked with mud. I was supposed to be keeping it clean. Now I was going to have to douse my head in peroxide.
"Hey, Lady," Ambrose whined. "Who is following us?" I looked up in shock. I hadn't expected Ambrose to do anything as decent as tip me off to a tail. He was 21 years old and fought like a cornered cat. Luckily he only weighed about 140 pounds, or I would be a smudge on the pavement right now.
I checked the rearview again, this time scanning for familiar vehicles. Two cars back, I noticed a big black Escalade. Lester Santos was driving. I flipped him the bird and saw his face curve into a smile. I nearly drove onto the sidewalk. Lester had a smile that probably killed some women.
I dialed Ranger's cell and didn't get an answer. I tried his other numbers and got no answer. Finally I dialed Tank.
"Why the fuck is Santos tailing me?" I growled over the line.
"Ranger's orders." He answered. I waited for more but he didn't say anything else. Tank wasn't much of a talker. He was more of an action oriented guy.
"Well if you see Ranger, tell him I want him to leave me alone. No following me, no GPS, no bodyguards. I told him that last night was an accident."
"Steph," Tank began, a little incredulously.
"No!" I said. "Call Santos and get him off my bumper. Morelli would never lay a hand on me purposely." I hung the phone up.
When I pulled into the cop shop, Santos pulled the Escalade in behind me. No sense in stealth once you've been made I guess. My car stood in amazing contrast to the pristine Escalade. It was a 2001 Dodge Stratus that had been painted cherry red with some kind of spray paint. All in all, it wasn't that bad of a car, if you didn't look at the wacky paint job and the fact that my floorboards were plywood nailed to the metal frame of the car.
Lester Santos and Manuel Ramos hopped out of the Escalade, grinning like mad. I liked both men, but right now I was feeling pretty pissed off.
Manny was usually one of my favorite body guards, in fact, I had once needed to pretend to be Manny's wife to check on him in the hospital after he took a bullet. When Manny woke up, Santos had told him all about it. Since that day, Manny had jokingly called me 'mi Corazon', which he seemed to find very funny.
Santos gave me an assessing head to toe look over and smiled again. "Have you taken up mud wrestling again? I hope you would tell at least Manny and me, since we are your favorites. We wouldn't tell anyone."
I glared at him, putting my hands on my hips. "If you guys have been following me all day, then why didn't you at least help Lula and me? This idiot just about took us both out." I jerked a thumb at the back seat.
"Hey! I'm not an idiot!" Ambrose yelled from the backseat of my car. "You're the one who tackled me!"
"We would have helped if you were in any real danger, mi Corazon. But if we would have hopped out to help you, you would have noticed us. Then you would have tried to lose us." Manuel said with a grin. "Tank asked us to tell you that Ranger says we need to stay."
I kicked my tire and opened the door to my car's backseat. "Ranger is an asshole!" I said to Manny and Lester as I dragged Ambrose from the backseat. I walked him into the station. Fifteen minutes later, I was on my way home.
When I reached my regular parking spot by the dumpster, Manny and Lester pulled right in beside me. I knocked on Lester's window and waited until he rolled it down.
"You guys may as well come on up." I said with a sigh. "It isn't your fault that Ranger is a prick. I'm going to be home for awhile, and my apartment has a heater." The February air was ice cold, and I was still soaking wet from that magical puddle at Ambrose's house.
"I definitely need a hot shower."
"Thanks for the offer, Beautiful." Santos answered, tapping me on the tip of my nose. I imagine that was because it was the only part of me that was not caked in reddish brown mud. "Maybe later we'll come up. We need to make some calls to Rangeman from our car phone first."
When I got up to my apartment, I called Ranger's cell. Again there was no answer. This time I left him a message. "Ranger, I told you I don't need bodyguards. Manny and Santos are still on my tail. This isn't your problem anymore. Back the hell off."
After I put my purse and other accessories on the counter, I shut the curtains and stripped out of my ruined clothes. It took me an hour to shower the mud off of my body and out of my hair.
I finally got out and looked in the mirror. My stitched up head wound was red and puffy. I wrapped a towel around my hair to keep from becoming an accidental blonde, and pulled out the peroxide. If the puffiness was any judge, I was going to have to use half of the bottle of peroxide.
I leaned my head over the sink and poured a generous amount onto my forehead. And then I let out a bloodcurdling scream. That hurt like HELL! I was bent over the sink with the water on, trying to wash the peroxide off of my head when the door slammed open.
My head snapped up and my hands fluttered uselessly trying to cover my naked body. Manny and Lester were standing there, guns drawn, eyes wide, and mouths hanging open. I was so stunned that I couldn't move. Manny spun around, sputtering "Sorry, sorry, sorry." Santos looked like he was staring at a huge piece of chocolate cake. Okay, that's how I would look at a giant piece of chocolate cake.
His eyes wandered and I had the sense of mind to slam the door into his face. Five minutes later, still red to the roots of my hair, I came out of the bathroom wearing my favorite pair of cotton pajamas. One excellent thing about my apartment is that the heater works perfectly. I still get to sleep in my tank top and cotton shorts.
"We're really sorry!" Manny exclaimed as soon as he saw me. Lester still looked like he was in shock. "We heard you scream and we thought that someone…" He went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I waved my hand dismissively at him.
"It's really okay." I said, wishing I could get rid of my blush. "It was a misunderstanding. Just please, next time, knock." I poked Santos in the arm. "Are you still alive over there?"
He was clutching one of my throw pillows in his lap, and his eyes were out of focus. "I'm sorry, what?" Lester asked, looking up at me. Then he saw my pajama shorts and his grip on the pillow tightened.
I suddenly felt very self conscious. "How about we watch a movie to kill the time? What time do you guys get relieved tonight?" I asked, still feeling skittish.
"Midnight, mi Corazon." Manny laughed. "We've got six hours to kill." I grabbed my DVD collection and brought over everything but the chick flicks.
"I have Ghostbusters, The Men in Black, X-Men, X-2, X-3, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and The Mummy." I listed off.
"X-Men!" Santos grinned
"No way! The Mummy!" Manny argued. I let them argue the pros and cons of the movies for a few minutes. Then I flipped a coin and had Lester call it. He won out so we watched X-men. I sat on the couch in between the two men and was asleep before I could remember to order pizza.
When I woke up, I had a hard time remembering that I was not in the middle of a wet dream. My face was snuggled into a warm, hard stomach. I had Lester on one side, with his beautiful smooth skin and hard muscles. On the other side, I had Manuel with his excellent biceps. I vaguely registered that they had changed the movie, I took a minute to study them before letting them see I was awake.
Manuel was sitting to my left, with my head lying on his legs. He had strong facial features and his skin was almost the color of Ranger's. His eyes were a warm chocolate colored brown, and his face seemed made to smile. He had laugh lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth.
Santos was on the other side of the couch. He was watching the movie so intently that he seemed completely zoned in on it. He had black hair and green eyes that always seemed to be twinkling. His mouth was set into a mischievous grin that seldom left his face. The long fingers of his right hand were unconsciously trailing up and down my calf, sending thrills through me. His other hand was gripped in mine, which also seemed unconscious.
When my stomach growled, I sat up out of Manny's lap and smiled sleepily at Santos. "Is Pino's still open?" I asked hungrily.
"Yeah." he answered with a grin after checking his watch.
"Would you two like to split a pizza with me?" I asked. They agreed and Manny ordered three pizzas. When we finally received the pizzas, I figured out why Manny had ordered three. Manny and Lester were bottomless pits. They ate a pizza each and then they started eyeing mine!
When I had bitten into my first piece of pizza, I let out a delighted moan. I felt Manuel and Lester freeze beside me, and I blushed. Okay, no moaning. I could handle that, right? I managed to keep my moans to the barest minimum through the rest of dinner, and we went back to our movie marathon.
When The Mummy went off, we put in Ghostbusters. Lester put his arm around my shoulders and started playing with my hair. I fell asleep in his arms this time, probably because he was humming the Ghostbusters theme in my ear.
I woke up at shift change and waved to Bobby and Zero before heading off to bed. I gave them the remote to my TV and told them that they better stay on my couch instead of staying in their car. I gave Manny and Lester a hug and slept until eight the next morning.
XXX
Two days later I was able to get my stitches out. I still had an annoying scar across my forehead, but I could live with that. Makeup does wonders. My cell phone rang at around 3:30 in the afternoon that Friday. I was surprised to hear Lester's voice.
"Hey Gorgeous!" he said excitedly. "Listen, a bunch of us guys are going out clubbing tonight. Zero and I have late shift on you tonight, and we were thinking maybe you could get some girlfriends together and we could make it a huge party. That way everyone can go."
"That sounds like just what I need." I thought for a minute. "Wait, you guys will dance with me, right? I'm not going to have to deal with random guys trying to make it into my bed just to get a decent dance partner, right?"
"Of course, Sexy. Tank's the only one of us with any serious girlfriend. He probably will skip out early with Lula, but the rest of us are all yours." he replied, making some kissy noises at me.
"Les!" I laughed. "I'm in! But could you give me a ride, since you're on Steph watch tonight anyway? I hate driving the Buick."
XXX
Lester and Zero arrived for guard duty at eight that night. I told them that I was going to nap for a few hours before I needed to get ready.
Lula and I had gone shopping for dresses, and I had found a little black halter dress with a salsa-style skirt. It came to my knees, but the bodice was so tight that it made it risqué for me. The neckline showed plenty of cleavage, and I had bought some killer black FMP's to match.
I was much more excited than I had expected to be. I hadn't been out dancing in ages. I had managed to scrape together Lula, Connie, Debra Giovinnini, Ana Ellis, and my cousin on my mom's side, Mary Ann Mazur. I was going to ride with Lester and Zero in the Escalade, and the rest of the group were making their own arrangements. We would meet at the club at 1:00 a.m.
I made myself get up around ten, so that I would have plenty of time to get ready. I grabbed the new dress and a matching thong and shuffled towards the bathroom. The dress didn't have enough back to wear a bra. Actually, the dress didn't have a back at all.
"I'm going to warn you," I said to Lester and Zero. "It's going to take me awhile in there. I am going to do a full spa treatment. If I scream, assume it's because I'm waxing my legs." Or my bikini line. "Do not barge in on me while I'm naked again."
Zero's eyes went wide and he raised his eyebrows at Lester.
"Christ! It was an accident!" Lester said, hands raised in a defensive position. Then he looked me over, eyes lingering on my bare legs.
"Do you need any help in there, Gorgeous?" he asked devilishly. Lester's eyes caught on the thong in my hand, and his eyes went cloudy. I think I gulped.
"No thanks." I said, giving him a dirty look. I locked myself in the bathroom and got busy. Two hours later I walked out with silky straight hair (courtesy of a flat iron I had bought from my stylist, plus lots of hair goo), full makeup, and my sexy dress. I felt sexy. And when Lester tripped over one of my end tables because he was picturing me naked, I felt very confident.
"Damn!" Zero muttered under his breath.
"Hel-lo Beautiful!" Lester said after a low whistle. I was just glad that my makeup had managed to cover that hideous scar on my forehead.
"Did you see where I put my shoes, Les?" I asked, looking around the room. He pointed in the corner, and I used his arm for a steadying device while I slipped them on. "Who wants to carry my cash and ID?" I asked casually. I really didn't want to carry a handbag. When Lester offered, I handed them over with a grin.
We made it to the club without incident. Lester, Zero and I bypassed the line and Lester spoke to the bouncer. He took my hand and led me inside. Lula and tank were waiting for us at the bar.
"Connie grabbed Hal as soon as she walked in, and they've been dancing ever since." Lula laughed as soon as I ordered my drink. "All the other girls are dancing too. And most of the Rangemen too." I laughed too, and gave Lula a hug. I hadn't seen Lula since we picked up Ambrose. We'd been missing each other at the office.
Tank looked pretty awkward. He barely spoke to me, and he kept shooting dirty looks at Santos, who was working on his drink and whispering jokes in my ear. I couldn't help but wonder if the big guy was mad because I yelled at him the other day.
"Make sure you save a few dances for me, Sexy." Lester whispered with a grin. I was about to reply, when Bobby Brown, another of Ranger's men tapped me on the shoulder.
"Will you dance with me, Steph?" he asked politely. I readily agreed and danced with Bobby, Zero, Manny, and Ram before I took a break. Those dances were pretty uneventful if you didn't count the fact that I had to remind Bobby three times to keep his hands off my ass, and Ram danced so close to me that I wondered if he was trying to lick my neck.
When I sat down to drink some water, my heart stopped. My eyes locked on Ranger, who had just walked in. Jeanne Ellen Burrows was on his arm. Santos had joined me as soon as I had sat down, and he snatched me up into the crowd when he saw Ranger.
"Do you want to make him jealous, Senorita?" he asked with a mischievous smile. Lester's lips were so close to my ear that the vibrations his voice created made shivers run down my spine.
The music changed, and a song I hadn't heard before this moment came on. I thought I recognized the voice of Maroon 5's lead singer, but soon Lester's superior dancing skills made me forget my curiosity.
Now
as the summer fades
I let you slip away
You say I'm not your
type
But I can make you sway
Santos spun me to face away from him and put his hands low on my hips. He leaned close and whispered in my ear again. "Seems like I'm not the only one who can't take my eyes off of you tonight."
It
makes you burn to learn
You're not the only one
I'd let you be
if you
put down your blazing gun
"What?" I hissed back, curious.
"Look to your right." he purred into my ear. I waited a moment and casually looked to my right. Ranger was dancing with Jeanne Ellen, his eyes burning holes into Santos and me. I unconsciously leaned closer to Santos, and Santos let out a low chuckle into my ear.
Now
you've gone somewhere else
Far away
I don't know if I will find
you (find you, find you)
But you feel my breath
On your
neck
Can't believe I'm right behind you (right behind you)
I let myself get lost in the music. Santos was probably the best dancing partner I'd ever had. Sometime during the song, I noticed that he was singing along, and I gave another shiver.
'Cause
you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I
did before
And if I never see your face again
I don't
mind
'Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight
I glanced at Ranger again. He looked furious. He caught my eye and pulled Jeanne Ellen closer. I linked my fingers through Lester's where they sat on my hips.
Sometimes
you move so well It makes you burn to
learn
It's hard not to give in
I'm lost, I can't
tell
Where you end and I begin
I'm with another man
I wonder if he's half
The lover
that I am
I spun back around and slid my leg between Lester's. I turned us where it was no longer possible for me to see Ranger. I tried to focus on Lester's hands wrapping around my lower back and pulling me closer. I hoped he couldn't see how hot he was making me. I would never live it down.
Now
you've gone somewhere else Far away 'Cause you keep me coming back for more
I don't know if I will
find you (find you, find you)
But you feel my breath
On your
neck
Can't believe I'm right behind you (right behind
you)
And I feel a
little better than I did before
And if I never see your face
again
I don't mind
'Cause we gone much further than I thought
we'd get tonight
"That pissed him off pretty good." Santos laughed into my ear as we danced. "Wonder what…" Lester's eyes widened when I grabbed his hands and pushed them onto my ass. I am absolutely sure that he was going to say 'Wonder what he'd do if I moved my hands lower.' Lester is pretty predictable when it comes to lame pick up lines.
Baby,
baby Take me down, but take it easy
Please believe me
Find it in your heart to reach
me
Promise not to leave me behind
(Promise not to leave me
behind)
Make me think but
don't deceive me
Torture me by taking your time
(Talk to me,
talk to me)
"I'm not Ranger's property." I growled back, this time it was my lips on Lester's ear. "So he can get over it. He needs to stop being a fucking caveman."
'Cause
you keep me coming back for more 'Cause you keep me coming back for more
And I feel a little better than I
did before
And if I never see your face again
I don't
mind
'Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get
tonight
And I
feel a little better than I did before
And if I never see your
face again
I don't mind
'Cause we got much further than I
thought we'd get tonight
"I think he left." Santos laughed as the song ended. He started to pull away, but I didn't let him. Paralyzer by Finger Eleven had just come on, and it was one of my favorites.
"I'm having a really fun time right now." I grinned, still whispering in Lester's ear. "And it has absolutely nothing to do with Ranger." I lied. What? I fucking love this song.
When that song ended, I kissed Santos on the cheek. "You are an excellent dancer, Santos." I grinned at him. "Make sure you save a few more dances for me."
By the end of the night, I'd danced myself out. I hadn't drunk very much, figuring I'd probably end up passed out on the floor. I'm a real lightweight when it comes to alcohol. Even without too much, Santos still had to carry me to my apartment because I was so tired.
"Damn! I'm beat." Santos yawned with a grimace. "You danced me into the ground tonight. I had ended up dancing all of the remaining dances with Lester, with the exception of dancing once again with Manny.
"Cal and Hector are outside your door. Care if I sleep on your couch?" he asked, sounding exhausted.
"That's stupid." I replied. "We're adults. As long as you keep it PG, we can both fit in my bed." I gave him a calculating grin. He probably would try something. He kept giving me bedroom eyes.
"If you don't keep your hands to yourself, I may decide to feed you to my Grandma Mazur." I laughed.
"Deal." Santos replied, echoing my laugh. "You know I won't try anything if you threaten me with her. All the guys are scared of her."
XXX
The next day I dragged myself into the bonds office around 10:00. I had managed about four hours of sleep. Lula looked exhausted too. Connie looked as if she hadn't slept at all.
"Glad to see that you two at least got laid last night." I muttered when I sat on the couch.
"Damn, girl!" Lula answered. "Tank said Santos stayed at your place last night. I figured you'd come in all thoroughly satisfied."
"He asked to sleep on my couch." I said, cramming down my hangover cure. I neglected to mention that Santos had slept in my bed. No need to get Lula excited over something that never happened. I glanced up to see Lula and Connie exchange a look.
"Apparently Batman didn't think he was on the couch." Lula said nervously. "He called Tank all in a bother this morning. He apparently thought Santos was there for sex. Of course, he could have gotten that idea because you were humping Lester's leg last night on the dance floor."
"I was not!" I said indignantly. "We were dancing. And Ranger can think whatever he wants. It's none of his fucking business. In fact, I'm going to drive to his apartment and let him know that it's none of his business!"
Lula
looked even more uncomfortable. "Well, what I was going to tell you
is that Batman left to go work in his Miami offices for a while. Tank
said there was some stuff that needed his personal attention."
"Oh."
I answered, deflating. "How long?"
"He didn't say." Lula said pityingly.