Who am I?, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

Arashi: This is the revised version of who am I. Thanks to LuckyBlackCat.

Who am I?

Summary: Joey is thinking of his life and starts to have doubts that he doesn't want Yugi and the gang to find out about. Several of these thoughts are suicidal and he is at a point in his life where he doesn't really know if he wants to continue living.

Pairing: mainly JoeyxMai slight YYxY.

Author Note-This AU so Yami does not go to the afterlife. I don't own Yugioh

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Am I just a shadow of the famous Yugi Moto? Or am I just a big brother to Serenity? I really don't know anymore. I stand on the cliff looking at the ocean as these thoughts go back and forth in my mind. I just don't want Yugi and the gang asking me questions about my health right now because for the last couple of days I've been out of it and not myself. Heck, even Atem... I mean Yami; (sheesh) noticed that I was not my usual self. I'm still figuring out where I should go from here and what to do with my life.

Sure loved the looks on the gangs' faces when I told them that I am going to graduate with high honors and with the possible choice of being a valedictorian. Well, I did have the teachers give me fake grades so I could keep up the act of me not being that smart.

A slight chuckle came out as my mind turned to my best buds, Yugi and Yami. It's O.K in my book for them to be together since we all heard about him. Heck, for the last couple of weeks we made several bets with Malik, Ryou and their Yamis, Marik and Bakura, on how long it would take for Yugi and Yami to become a couple.

I still remember the day that Yugi dueled against Yami so he could go to the afterlife. He decided to stay in our time instead, the same as Marik and Bakura. It's funny how Bakura and Marik are now good friends. Well, I still have to thank Ryou and Isis for forcing them to hang around, the two numbskulls.

-Flashback-

The ceremonial battle was over; Yuge won the duel so Yami could return to the afterlife. The door of the afterlife opened for him so he could go home to his friends and family in Ancient Egypt. He turned to his family and shook his head as I watched him. He mouthed to them that he felt he was still needed in the present time. Yugi looked at him, surprised and confused.

Yami just smiled at everyone and looked at each of us in turn to see if we were going to tell him not to leave. I noticed Tea was about to hug him when both Tristan and Duke held her back with a blush on their cheeks. I smirked about that along with Kaiba. We looked at each other, both thinking the same thing.

We were thinking 'why I am not surprised?'

Yami looked at Yugi a few seconds longer than everyone else. I didn't mind at all because it was obvious that the two cared deeply about each other. Can't help but be envious of them though, because the one I am in love with is gone from my life. I haven't seen her since our duel in San Francisco.

It seems that she doesn't really want to be found. When I fell in love with Mai Valentine, I have no idea. I tried to contact her with letters but I always get them back with "return to sender," stamped on them.

Might as well ask the Pharaoh why he decided to stay. I already have my suspicions but I would like to hear him say it to confirm them. Better ask Yugi to tell Yami that I wanted to talk to him alone after dinner.

~Later that night~

I was looking at the stars, wondering if Mai was looking at the same stars wherever she was. I hope that she's safe and well, maybe with a lover who can take care of her. I could feel the pain in my heart at the thought of Mai being another man's girl when she should be mine. I could feel the chill of the night air breeze on my face. I decided not stay out too long or I'll get cold.

I didn't hear the footsteps behind me until the familiar voice of Yami asked, "Yugi said that you needed to talk to me about something, Joey?"

"Yeah, I want to know why you stayed instead of leaving, uh, Pharaoh" I replied.

"Just call me what the gang did before, Yami," he began. I had to smile at that, then he continued, "I stayed because I feel that I am still needed in this time."

"Really Yami? Is that the only reason and not Yugi?" I asked

"The true reason is for Yugi's sake. I love him deeply. I wouldn't dare hurt him; he's too precious to me." Yami half whispered and half shouted.

"I know Yami, but I needed to hear you say it and know that you won't be playing with his heart." I looked Yami in the eyes as I said the following words, "Just don't break his heart or you'll have to deal with me." I saw him smiling as I said this, and realized he would never do anything to harm Yugi. He'd love him for all eternity.

-Flashback ends-

I could still feel my heart racing at the thought of jumping off the cliff and seeing how deep the water was. It looked really appealing since what's the point of living anymore? My mother just left me with a drunk of a father while taking Serenity.

Mai left after Battle City was over, and then she got nightmares because of Marik. She left again at the end of the Dartz situation and taking my soul. Doesn't she realize that not only did she take my soul but also my heart? My life is pointless without her and I would do anything to keep her happy even if it means I have to give her up. If a life without me makes her happy, then so be it.

"Who would ever miss me if I was dead? I could easily get a knife and end this torture now instead of the agony eating me alive. Or I could just jump off this cliff so I could end my life right now. Then I won't be a burden to Yugi and the gang." I say as I take a couple of steps towards the edge of the cliff, staring into the deep abyss of the dark colored ocean.

"Don't even think of taking the last few steps, Joseph Wheeler!"

A scream came from behind me and a pair of arms wrapped around my waist to keep me from falling to my death.

I looked over my shoulder to see none other than Mai Valentine, shaking like a leaf from the tears that came down her cheeks; nuzzling her nose into my shoulder. I can't believe that she's here! I sputter out, "Mai how in the world did you manage to find me? Just let go of me so I can die in peace…"

"No! How dare you do this to me?! I got the letter you gave Yugi to give to me only to find out that it was a note about you leaving Domino and you said that you might not come back! Then drive by the area to see the ocean only for me to find you at the edge of a cliff ready to jump and end your life! Don't you dare die on me now when I just realized that... I just might love you and I want us to be together." Mai was sobbing so I turned around to wrap my arms around her in a hug. Putting my chin on the top of her head I could feel her slowly calming down as I registered that she said she loved me.

I answered back the only way I could. "Love you too, Mai."

I felt her stiffen in my arms for a few minutes then relax as she sighed contentedly. We stayed like that for a while. I smiled at her as she blushed at my gaze. Her eyes searched my own, looking for signs that I truly meant I loved her. She must have found her answer because she grabbed me and kissed me.

I asked her the only thing that was on my mind after our first kiss. "Mai, will you be my girl?"

I got my answer when she gave me the stubborn look she gets when I say something obvious. "Wheeler, I have been your girl since you save me from Ra. I always have been and I would have missed you if you died."

Then she grabbed my shirt. I bent over a little bit so we could see eye-to-eye as she growled "Don't you ever give me a scare like that again, you idiot." I smiled at her before I kissed her, showing her that I will definitely not make her go through that again.

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Author note-Don't own Yugioh. Just the plot. Please read and review. Like I said above the story. This is the revised chapter that is beta by LuckyBlackCat. So a special thanks goes out to her on this story. I grew from the first post on ff. So I hope to keep up the good work.